Chasing Secrets
by Lolly4Holly
Summary: Even before his abduction and forced imprisonment 6ft under, Nick felt as though his life was spiralling out of control. Now that he's back in the real world, things seem oddly worse. His rollercoaster ride of a life has had its ups and downs in the past, but the rails ahead of him have become so bumpy, he's afraid that he might derail and lose everything. M-Preg. Nick/Greg Slash.
1. Prologue

**Chasing Secrets**

 **Requested by BlaineandKurt**

 **AUTHOR:** Lolly4Holly

 **PAIRINGS:** Nick/Greg Slash with M-Preg

 **WARNINGS:** Adult Content. M-Preg. Angst. M/M slash. Violence. Drugs. Sex. Alcohol. The usual CSI Stuff. If you don't like, don't read.

 **SUMMARY:** Even before his abduction and forced imprisonment six feet under, Nick Stokes felt as though his life was spiralling out of control. Now that he's back in the real world, things seem oddly worse. His rollercoaster ride of a life has had its ups and downs in the past, but the rails ahead of him have become so bumpy, he's afraid that he might derail and lose everything.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Hi guys, this story was requested by BlaineandKurt. This is a Nick and Greg slash/m-preg set around 'Grave Danger' finale episode of Season 5, alternate universe as some events have been altered slightly to fit around the time line provided. Greg left the lab sometime during Season 1 for a career as a field CSI. Contains episodes from CSI: Las Vegas series, starting with Season 5. Also includes a few _flashbacks_ written in _Italic_ so you can tell the difference between the past and the present.

 **Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it. Please remember to leave me a review if you did and a shout out to BlaineandKurt for requesting it. I hope I did it justice!**

 **~ Holly**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 _"It was Christmas in Las Vegas, when the locals take the town. Theresa hit a streak, and laid her waitress apron down. She was playin' penny poker..."_ Shutting off the engine to his truck, Nick glanced around the empty parking lot he had been called out to, wondering what kind of mysteries lay ahead. He grabbed his kit off the passenger seat, waving to the officer as he climbed out.

"Hey. Nick Stokes, crime lab." He nodded to the man, showing the man his ID badge.

Over the years he had gotten to know quite a few of the deputies on the graveyard shift, but he didn't recognise this guy at all, so he was either new or just transferred from another shift. He'd wager new, since he looked about fifteen, reminding him a lot of Greg when he first joined the lab.

"Hi. I'm Dale." The deputy gave him a nod of approval to approach.

"So, what have we got?" Nick asked, eager to get stuck in. He hated trash runs, but it was the only thing going at the moment. He knew it would probably end with Catherine taking him off the case to put him on something of more importance, but he wasn't about to turn it down.

"It's... over here." The deputy looked a little queasy, walking with the CSI over to their scene. He held his hand over his mouth, pointing the light of his flashlight towards the bloody puddle on the ground. "We got called out to an anonymous 9-1-1 caller reported body parts in the area. Didn't leave a name and they used a prepaid phone, so there's no trace. I rolled up to the scene and found... this. Don't know what it is... but it looks like body parts, so we called you guys." He wasn't quite sure what he was looking at, so he really didn't want to name it.

"Hm... tasty." The Texan smirked, setting his kit down. He popped it open, grabbing his camera first. He already checked it before he left the lab, but he made one final check for the memory card and settings, before he started snapping a few pictures of the scene.

"So... Mr Stokes, have you... do you know how long it's going to take for you to get this stuff out of here?" He tried to avoid throwing up by turning himself away from the parts that lay on the ground beneath them.

"Well... I can't move the... you know, the _'body'_ until the coroner releases the scene. It's a busy night, lots of cases... probably gonna take a while." Nick snapped another photo, wondering what exactly it was. It looked a lot like guts, but it looked too small to be human.

"Okay... great." The deputy nodded, taking another step back. "Hey... you mind if I step away for a sec? I really..." He fought the urge to hurl, covering his hand over his mouth again. "I need some fresh air."

"Oh... yeah, sure." Nick tried to suppress his smile. "Take your time, man. I'm good." He watched the man practically sprinting back to his car, smirking to himself as he turned back to his scene.

 _"We scrutinize the crime scene, collect the evidence and recreate what happened, without ever having been there."_ He heard his supervisor's voice ringing through his head. He always remembered random quotes from the older man when he was bored and all alone out in the middle of nowhere.

Dropping an evidence marker into place, Nick pursed his lips together, examining the cigarette butt in from of him a moment, before he raised his camera to eye level. He snapped a few pictures, glancing over his shoulder briefly to check on the young officer retching in the corner. He couldn't have been that old. Fresh out of the academy, Nick guessed. His uniform was a little on the big side for him. He still had pimples covering his fresh young face and he couldn't see any sign of the tell tale dark circles beneath his eyes, that told him he hadn't been doing this job for very long.

Snapping another photo, Nick straightened up from the floor, remembering he had some gum in his pocket. He let his camera fall against his chest, feeling the tug of the strap against his neck as he dug it out. "Hey," He called out to the young lad behind him. "You want some gum?"

Deputy Dale shook his head, waving in the other man's direction. "No, thank you." He ducked into the alleyway again, hurling up what was left of his lunch. He really regretted eating that burrito now. He enjoyed it the first time around, but he knew he was going to regret it later anyway, especially with his sensitive stomach.

Nick popped a piece of gum into his mouth, slotting the packet back into his jeans. He returned to his kit for some more evidence markers, noticing something out the corner of his eye. He had seen the bright red fire hydrant on his way in, but he didn't see the bag sat beside it. He made his way over to it, knitting his brow together as he found a Styrofoam cup sat inside an evidence bag. To be sure, he pulled out his flashlight, taking a closer look.

It certainly wasn't one of his or any of his teams. It didn't make any sense though, what was it doing here?

"Well... that's peculiar." He spoke to himself, pulling a glove onto his hand. He picked the bag up by the corner to take a closer look, even more confused as the cup didn't seem to relevant to his crime scene at all.

Before he could turn around to ask the deputy about it, a hand clasped firmly over his mouth from behind him. He tried to struggle, but they were holding a cloth that had a familiar scent to it. He knew what it was, he just couldn't think of it right now. The more he tried to fight it, the more drowsy he started to feel. He just had to hold them off long enough for the deputy to turn around. Then it hit him, he knew what it was and why he felt so sleepy.

 _Chloroform..._

When he came to, Nick found himself bound in a small space. He had never been overly keen on small spaces, but there was just enough room to stretch out his legs. He saw a flickering light coming from somewhere, trying to roll himself over to see what it was. His wrists were bound by something tight, itchy and uncomfortable. His legs were free, so he used them to roll himself over, just as the object he was in jolted to a halt.

He was in the back of a vehicle and his assailant had just stopped.

Nick quickly searched around for a weapon. A tire iron maybe, something heavy, anything at all. He saw bright red lights peaking through from somewhere. The seats were too far away and the ground beneath him was lined with plastic. He tried not to think about all the crime scenes he had processed that looked like this and tried to focus on his escape, but he didn't have anything to defend himself with.

Hearing footsteps outside the vehicle, Nick decided to use the only weapon he had.

His foot.

Raising his legs ready to kick off, Nick waited for the door in front of him to open. He gulped softly, feeling goose bumps shivering down his spine as he continued to wait. How long were they going to make him sweat like this? What were they doing out there? Where had they even taken him?

Suddenly, a gloved hand appeared behind him.

Damn, they had opened the other door.

He struggled, pushing himself off the ground with his hands, fighting against the cloth they had once again clamped over his nose and mouth. He wriggled, squirmed, attempted to hold his breath.

But the Chloroform won again.

Starting to stir again, Nick felt his wrists being cut free. He let them fall to his sides, keeping his eyes tightly closed as a bright light appeared above him. He heard a noise beside him. It sounded like metal being placed against something. Another noise the other side of him, but he still couldn't open his eyes. He heard what sounded like a door closing, followed by something that sounded like heavy rain. He briefly managed to open his eyes, just as the light above him was filled with darkness.

Instinctively, he tried to sit up, bumping his head against something.

Letting it fall back down, he breathed deeply, noticing an eerie green glow around him. He tried to sit up again, but there was something above him. He managed to lift his arms from his sides, feeling cold hard walls surrounding him on all four sides. He was confined in a much smaller space and it didn't feel like a car this time. His hand rolled across some sort of object. He lifted it to eye level, realising where the green light was coming from.

A glowing green stick illuminating whatever he was inside.

Using the light from the stick, he looked around at his surroundings, seeing dirt on the other side of the glass. He shone it all around him, realising that the box was completely made out of Plexiglas and every side was surrounded with dirt. He felt his breath catching in his throat, but he didn't want to freak out. He had to remain calm in order to figure this out. He could panic later when he was out of here.

Searching around, he found a few more glow sticks and something bigger.

A gun.

He lifted it as high as he could, checking the clip. It was loaded. Why would his kidnapper leave him with a loaded gun? Before he could answer that question, he found something else the other side of him, but it was just out of reach. He lowered the glow stick, extending his fingers as far as he could, dragging the object towards him. He lifted it to eye level, frowning at the sight of it.

A tape recorder.

Dropping his head back to the glass beneath him, Nick shone the glow stick across the recorder, seeing a tape inside. He pressed play, hearing a crackle as it came to life.

 _"Hi, CSI guy. You wondering why you're here?"_ He heard a taunting man's voice echoing out of the recorder. _"Because you followed the evidence. Because that's what CSIs do. So breathe quick, breath slow, put your gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you're going to die here. Okay."_

The tape shut off.

Panic Time!

In a burst of panic, Nick wriggled inside the box, pushing against all the sides, looking for a weak spot. He pushed up, trying to force it open. He kicked his legs. Furiously punched the sides, the top above his head, the lid. Anything, hoping it would come lose. He punched the roof until his knuckles turned bloody, giving out a scream as he started to give up.

His screams burst his ear drums, dying out to nothing more than a whimper. It was useless, he was trapped.

Suddenly a burst of light appeared at his feet.

Nick stopped his sobs, grimacing at the burst of the bright light flooding his coffin. He thought he could use it to look around a little, but all he could see was white. He tilted his head up to avoid it, seeing blotches in front of his eyes. Once the blotches started to fade, he got a better look at his surroundings. He tried pushing up the lid again, searching for a catch or something, but the dirt on top was too heavy.

Panic started to set in again.

It felt as though hours had passed when he finally started to calm down. The light beneath had shut off. He found a fan whirring beside him, pumping air back into his coffin. He did exactly what the tape said and breathed deeply, trying to do the math in his head. He figured Grissom would get to the answer quicker than him, but it wasn't like he had anything else to think about.

Opening his eyes, he looked around, trying to judge the size of his box. He muttered the measurements, lying completely still as the fan continued to spin. He reached his hand out for the fan, trying to pull it out or see where it was coming from.

But the burst of light came back and the fan instantly shut off.

Nick clamped his eyes shut to avoid the light, trying to keep himself calm. He needed to conserve his air supply while the fan was off. Without the fan, he figured he would only survive one, maybe two hours tops, especially if he continued to panic. He tried taking deeper breaths, holding it for as long as he could, before he exhaled. He waited for it to shut off again, before he was able to see and breathe the air returning from the fan. His throat felt itchy and dry already, but before he could get used to the feeling of fresh air, the light came back on and the fan stopped.

It was obvious that he had been trapped in someone's idea of torture chamber now.

Nick covered his arm over his eyes this time, wondering why they were doing this to him. What were their demands? Why did they have a grudge against him? Was he the only one who had been taken? Did they even know that he had a child waiting for him at home?

Evan.

Thinking about his son made him realise just how much was at stake. It wasn't just his life hanging in the balance down here. He had to make it out of here to get home to his little boy. He was only supposed to be with the sitter for the next four or five hours, before he had to relieve her. There was no way she would stick around longer. He had a hard enough time getting her to work weekends, let alone the long nightshifts that quite often came his way.

"No!" He groaned as the blasted light came back on. He turned his head to the fan beside him, starting to feel the effects of oxygen deprivation already. Through the black spots in his eyes, he saw flashes of his son.

Growing up, Nick always knew that he wanted to have children someday. He didn't quite expect to have a surprise child at this stage in his life, but for the past five, nearly six years now, he was the one and only good thing in his life.

Reaching out for the gun he had left beside him, Nick checked the gun over again, coming up with his first plan to improve his odds and make it back to his son.

"The fans connected... the fans connected to the light."

Panting softly, Nick reached into his pocket, letting a small smile spread across his lips as he found the gum. He managed to tear open the packet, grabbing the last piece. He popped it straight into his mouth, chewing softly as the berry flavour trickled down his throat. He had only been chewing the stuff since his son got into it. He never even ate sweets before. He wasn't allowed to as a child and he pretty much avoided them altogether in his adult life when he got into fitness and healthy eating.

To tell it his mother's way, he was a chubby child. He ate whenever he wanted and his grandparents spoilt him rotten with tasty treats. His son wasn't allowed the same luxuries, but he figured a stick of Bubblicious Berry gum every now and then wouldn't do him any harm.

After he chewed up the gum enough, Nick reluctantly spat it out of his mouth, tearing it into two pieces. He knew a gun shot in such close quarters could cause some serious damage to his eardrums, so he attempted to protect them by stuffing the gum into his ears.

Lifting the gun to eye level, Nick cocked it, loading a bullet into the chamber. He panted softly, holding the gun close as he stared at the bright light between his feet. His eyes were starting to come accustomed to its brightness, but it had to go, so he could get the fan working again. He hoped that his plan wouldn't destroy that too, but he couldn't just wait for the light to keep shutting off so he could breathe again.

Pointing the gun downwards, Nick adjusted himself, spreading his feet and legs as wide as he could to avoid injury. He lined it up with the light, taking in a deep breath, before he squeezed the trigger.

Despite the fact that he had chewing gum in his ears, all he could hear was a high pitched ringing sound. He lowered his jaw, moving it in circles, until his hearing returned to normal. He grabbed one of the spare glow sticks from beneath him, cracking it open to see if it worked. The blindly light was out and the fan was working again.

Nick laughed triumphantly, turning his head to the side, relishing the wave of fresh air coming towards him. He breathed deeply, celebrating his small victory with a little sing along to his favourite song as the fan continued to whir.

After a few minutes passed by, he heard a strange scratching sound. He grabbed for his last glow stick, using it look around. The dirt above him appeared to be moving. There was something moving up there.

They had found him. He knew they would. He never doubted them for a second, but the sound of his rescue was music to his chewing gum stuffed ears.

"Down here. Hey!" He banged his fist against the Plexiglas, laughing softly as the scratching noises came louder. "I'm in here. Hey. Hey!" Nick heard crunching noises. The sound of shovels digging him out. "It was Christmas in Las Vegas, when the locals take the town!" He continued singing, louder and louder with each verse. "She was playin' penny poker. Over at the old Gold Spike... Down here! I'm in here!" He let a smile spread across his lips, singing with more enthusiasm. "She won at Texas Hold'em, and again let it ride over... Down here! Yes, I'm down here!"

The rumblings got closer and closer, but nothing above him was moving. He turned his attention towards his feet, using the light of his glow stick to see what was going on. The crunching sound wasn't shovels, it was the glass. The Plexiglas at his feet was cracking. The dirt must have been too heavy.

The cracks were getting wider, dirt was pouring around his feet.

He really was being buried alive.

"Stop! Stop. Stop. Please..." He pleaded, kicking his feet around, trying to stop the dirt from flooding in. "Oh... my God." He squirmed, trying to push back the dirt, plug the holes, the cracks, anything to stop himself from being literally buried alive and suffocating on the dirt. "Help me... please..." His screams turned into cries. He thumped his head back against the Plexiglas, wishing he was anywhere but here.

Why did he even bother getting up this morning? He could have stayed in bed for a longer hug with his son and completely missed out on this torture. Come to think of it, why didn't he leave this wretched city behind all those years ago? He was given the opportunity to move to a better city with the man he loved, but he turned it down for this stupid job that had finally snuffed him out.

"Noooo!" He screamed, giving the lid above him one final punch.

This was it. He was going to die.

Reaching for the items either side of him, Nick remembered that he had the tape recorder. He placed his fingertip on a crack running down the side of his coffin, gulping softly as the dirt started to trickle in like he was on the opposite end of an egg timer.

These were going to be his last words to his loved ones, so he had to make them count.

"My name is Nick Stokes..."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the prologue. If you did, please leave me a review. Thanks so much!**

 **More on the way soon.** **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	2. Chapter 1 - Welcome Back

**Chapter One - Welcome Back**

 _"Oh look, my two favourite guys." Catherine presented her CSIs with a sunny smile, adjusting the coffee mug in her hand, so she could hand over the assignment slips. "Today we have... an assault at Stripperama and a trash run at Flamingo and Koval." She placed both of them in Warrick's hand, giving Nick a grin. "I'm too busy to play favourites, so duke it out."_

 _"What are you gonna do?" Warrick called out to her, watching her unlocking the door to her office._

 _"Only a mountain of paperwork, before I'm due in court. Should keep me busy for the rest of the shift. You know where I am if you need me. Enjoy." Catherine waved them off, running round her desk as her phone started to ring. "Willows... uh huh, yep. I have it right here."_

 _"Duke it out." Nick playfully shook his fist in Warrick's direction. "Boy better flip a coin. I'll hurt you."_

 _"In your dreams, Stokes." Warrick smirked, digging out a coin from his pocket. "There you go."_

 _Nick presented him with a grin, flipping the coin after a careful inspection that it wasn't double sided. "Call it in the air."_

 _"Heads." He watched the younger man catching the coin in his open palm, giving him a smile as he saw Abraham's head facing upwards. "Here you go, Nicky. Have fun at the trash run." He handed him the extra slip from his hand._

 _"You know, I'd do two out of three, but you got a gamblin' problem." Nick sighed, turning away towards the locker room. "No, hey you know what?" He held the coin up in his hand. "You keep this. It's bad luck."_

 _The Texan tossed it towards Warrick, before he disappeared out of his sight._

Clutching the unlucky coin tightly in his palm, Warrick stared through the window of his buddy's hospital room, watching the doctor's trying to treat him as quickly as they could without hurting him. He thought he would feel better after they rescued him, but he was starting to feel oddly worse. He insisted on sticking around to see him through this, gulping softly every time they stuck him with a needle, prodded him or tried to turn him over to get a look at his back. He understood that they were just trying to do their jobs, but they could have been a little more delicate with him.

From the looks of his skin, every inch of Nick's body had been bitten by fire ants and every inch of him was in some form of pain. He wished it were him in there. It should have been him. If it wasn't for this stupid coin, Nick would have never been in this situation.

"Hey." Catherine appeared beside him, handing him the extra coffee cup from her hands. "Only thing in the machine is this thick black liquid that's supposed to be coffee. I added to sugar to give it more flavour, but I think that's it floating around there." She grimaced at the sight of her coffee mug.

"I don't think I can eat or drink anything right now, anyway." Warrick turned his attention back to the room beside them.

"Oh, Grissom and Sara just arrived. They're waiting outside. How's he doing?" She looked through the window, feeling a little sick at the sight of the thousands of puss filled bites covering Nick's entire body. "Oh God... they really did eat him alive. Have the doctors said anything yet?"

"Yeah, they spoke to Mrs Stokes a few minutes ago."

"What about?" She gave him a curious look.

"Just about the treatment. He's really dehydrated, so they're pumping him full of fluids. They said the swelling and pain of the bites could last around two weeks, but they've given him some kind of antihistamine to lessen the affects. I heard them tell Mrs Stokes that they gave him a sedative to help him sleep too." Warrick motioned down the hallway towards the anxious mother sat clutching her bag tightly in her hands.

He had never exactly met Nick's mother before today, so he wasn't entirely sure what to say to her. He knew a lot of trained phrases from his time as a CSI, but it didn't feel right saying them to the mother of his best friend, especially when he was the one who caused her son to be in that situation in the first place.

"He's gonna be okay." Catherine tried to assure him, seeing the worry in his eyes. "Nick's strong."

"Going through something like that... I don't know how strong any of us would be."

"Yeah but this is Nick we're talking about. He's gone through crazy stalker's trying to take over his life to ex-girlfriend's dying on him and being framed for the murder. Not to mention the mother of his child dying and ditching a baby in his lap. If he can get through them with a big ol Texas grin on his face, this should be a piece of cake."

Warrick wished that were true, but he sensed that this was a whole lot worse than anything else he had gone through in his life. "Did you get through to your babysitter?"

"Yeah... my prissy little princess of a babysitter is refusing to sit for Lindsey anymore. She's claiming that her parents won't let her stay the night, so my Mother's on her way over now to take over. Lindsey doesn't really like her anyway. Apparently she's super strict compared to her Grandmother and she uses my landline to call boys. I'll be checking the phone bill and take out what she's owes me from her earnings." Catherine turned to ditch her purse on the chair behind her, sighing softly as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Oh... I didn't even think... who has, Evan?" She gave him a curious look, feeling the blood flushing from her face. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of him sooner. She was the only mother on their team, but the child of their missing CSI hadn't even crossed her mind. Nick's parents had been at the lab the whole time and Nick was six feet under, so he couldn't take care of him.

Warrick shrugged his shoulders together, sitting himself down. "Sara was looking after him earlier. I don't think she told him what was going on."

"Good... he's only what... four?" She joined him on one of the chairs.

"No he's five... almost six already." Warrick smiled at her, clutching the unlucky coin that started all of this a little tighter. "This morning we were stood in the locker room, joking around about my evening out with my girlfriend, Tina. I took her out to that Ultimate Fight Championship down at the Spur on Saturday night. This guy started getting in my face while we were waiting for the valet..." He glanced up at his supervisor, realising she didn't want to hear about all this. "It should be me in there. Not Nick." He opened his palm, feeling a chill running down his spine as the coin's surface facing him was the head of Abraham Lincoln. He brushed his thumb across the writing _'In God We Trust'_ suddenly feeling the urge to throw the stupid thing across the room.

"Hey, what was that for?" A nurse passing by scowled at him. She bent to pick up the coin, placing it back in his open palm with an angry look on her face. "This area is for relatives only. How did you two get in here?"

"We _are_ his family." Warrick barked at her. "Just leave us alone. It's him you should be worrying about. Not us." He pointed at Nick in the room in front of them.

"It's okay, we were just going to get some air anyway." Catherine assured her, pulling Warrick to his feet with her. She grabbed her purse, walking him out the next set of doors to where Grissom and Sara were sat, staring off into space. She avoided them for now, taking Warrick to one side to ask him what was going on with him. "What was all that about? That's the third person you've had a pop at today. The third person that isn't responsible for any of this too. Nick wouldn't want you going off at everyone like this."

"No it isn't." Warrick retaliated, glaring back at her.

"Yes it is." She mimicked him, feeling as though she was talking to a child, not an adult. "Remember Greg earlier? You kicked over the evidence he was processing and made him feel like an idiot, when he was just trying to help find, Nick. He flew all the way over from San Francisco to help find him. Then there was the paramedic on the drive over here. You called him a moron for taking the longest route known to man to the hospital and now that nurse. That's three people that are just trying to help. What's this coin anyway?" She grabbed it while his palm was open. "You've been clutching this thing all day."

"You know, all of this is your fault." The man pointed an accusing finger at her, turning it around on her. "You're the one who gave him that stupid assignment. Why didn't you check it out? You could have assigned us both to it, then Nick would have never ended up like this."

"You wonna point blame here? The slip was in your hand first. Why'd you hand it over to Nick?"

"Because of this." He snatched the coin from her hand, tossing the offending object across the lobby. Both Grissom and Sara were fully aware of their presence now, as was everyone else in the hospital. "You're exact words were _you_ were too busy, so _we_ had to duke it out. Nick flipped that stupid coin. I called heads and he ended up six feet under." Warrick yelled back at her, quietening down as a security guard wandered his way with his thumbs tucked into his belt. "Nick's in this situation because of you." He pushed past Catherine, storming out of the hospital, before he was thrown out of it.

Catherine clutched her coffee cup tightly in her hand, watching everyone looking at her a moment, before they tried to busy themselves with work. She sighed softly, making her way over to the seating area, plopping herself down in front of her co-workers.

"Fourth person." She muttered to herself.

"What's that?" Grissom raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"Oh... nothing." She shook her head, ditching her bag on the chair beside her. "Does anyone know where Nick's son is?"

"Yeah, Evan's at the police station with Brass." Sara nodded, unfolding her arms from her chest. "He was already asleep when we figured out where Nick was, so Brass left Metcalfe in charge of him, until he got back. His grandparents said they'd take them, as soon as they know that Nick is okay. They didn't want to bring him here."

"Good... I was worried he was on his own somewhere. We owe it to Nick to take care of him while he's out of commission."

"The Stokes' practically insisted on taking him. Didn't want him stuck with strangers for any longer." Sara directly quoted the Judge, buttoning her lips as the man in question made his way back through the hospital. He had been walking in and out of the hospital since they arrived, but he never had anything in his hands, making her suspicious. He made his way back to his wife outside Nick's room, sitting himself beside her without uttering a word.

The three of them sat waiting for what felt like hours, desperately hoping for some good news or any news at this point. The last time they saw their CSI, he was being flung into the air, while the explosion of C4 was going off in the background. They barely had time to see if he was still breathing, when the paramedics rushed over and whisked him away.

They thought finding him was the hard part, but sitting around and waiting made them feel completely helpless.

"I've seen that blonde doctor before." Catherine suddenly spoke, getting confused looks from her former colleagues. She stared at the doctor a moment, trying to figure out where she knew her from. "Oh... I remember." It suddenly hit her. "She was the mistress of our murder suspect a few weeks back." She watched her colleagues looking round at the woman, before they got back to their staring off into space. "Air tight alibi though. A whole operating room full of doctors and nurses." She sighed softly as neither of them were really listening. She tried to think of something else to say to pass the time, just as the doors in front of them burst open.

Their long lost lab tech, Greg came bursting out of them with tears streaming down his cheeks, followed by the Judge's booming voice echoing after him.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" Judge Stokes spoke to him like a child.

Grissom promptly pushed himself to his feet to see what was going on, but Sara got to the younger man first.

"It should have been you down there. Not my son." The Judge yelled again, creating more drama in the hospital lobby.

"Judge Stokes, is there a problem here?" Grissom held off the security guard for now, trying to calm down the anxious father. Even though he seemed more angry than anxious at the moment.

"Yeah, there's a problem here. Keep that deviant away from here." He pointed an accusing finger towards Greg. "I don't want him anywhere near my son. He shouldn't even be here. What are you doing back here? You left Nick and we had to clean up your mess. You should have done us all a favour and stayed away from here."

"Left Nick?" Catherine narrowed her brows on the two men, trying to figure out when they could have possibly met before today and why the Judge cared so much that Greg left the lab.

"Just get him out of my sight!" The Judge yelled. "I don't need him hangin' around upsettin' my wife."

"Alright, alright. We'll handle it. He's our man, we'll take care of it." Grissom calmed the man down, waiting for him to return to his wife.

The Judge stayed put to stare at Greg a moment with a menacing glare, before he reluctantly turned away.

Giving out a soft sigh, Grissom turned to look at Greg, watching Catherine fetching him a tissue to dry his eyes, while Sara hugged him tightly to try and comfort him. He couldn't bring himself to throw him out of the hospital like this, so they just had to keep him away from the Stokes'.

"What was that about?" Grissom asked him, only getting a shrug out of the man.

"I just wanted to see, Nick."

"Great first day back in Las Vegas, huh Greg?" Catherine sat the younger man down beside her, handing him a fresh tissue to dry his eyes. "I didn't get a chance to say it before, but it's great to have you back with us, Greg. You never should have left us for six years." She gave him a smile, gently tapping his knee. "So, how was it in San Francisco? Did you party all the time? Date lots of cute guys?" She tried to distract him. She desperately needed some distracting herself, but Grissom and Sara didn't exactly keep up the conversation.

Greg shook his head slightly, glancing up at his former supervisor sat in front of him. "No parties. Just lots of work."

"It's good to have you back. We really needed your help today." Catherine assured him. "I hope you stick around. You really helped us out today."

"Like I said," Grissom piped in. "There's always a position here for you in Las Vegas, Greg. We could really use you on the team. I hear you're a CSI level two now."

"Yeah, just got the promotion."

"Our little lab rat is all grown up." Catherine teased him, putting her arm around him to hug him tightly. She smoothed her hand up and down his back, giving him a smile. "Why did Nick's father say you left Nick?" She pried now that his tears had stopped flowing.

"Hey look, that's Nick's doctor." Sara desperately tried to distract the team, keeping up her promise of never telling anyone about Nick and Greg's relationship. She hated the constant secrets, but she had a few of her own that she didn't exactly want getting out either.

Grissom promptly climbed to his feet to chase him down for answers, leaving Sara and Catherine sat with Greg.

"Nicky's going to be fine, Greg." Catherine gave him a reassuring smile. "He's tough. Plus he has all of us watching over him."

Greg hoped that were true, but after seeing Nick looking so weak and helpless like that, he felt as though he had already lost him. He sat forwards, resting his head in his hands as he thought back to how Nick used to be before he left. He was always the kind of guy you could count on. He was the dependable best friend who would always have your back, no matter what. He wondered if that had changed in the past six years. He doubted it since that was a huge part of who Nick was, but he couldn't help but wonder what a broken heart could do to a man like that.

For three long years they were a lot more than just friends. They were one step away from moving in together, when Greg got his big job offer in another city. He contemplated over whether to take it or not for months, before he even told Nick about it. He hated that he was so open to the idea.

Did he really want him to leave him that badly?

Greg felt as though Nick was the one. He loved and cared for him more than anything in the world, but he obviously didn't feel the same way if he could give him up so easily.

It seemed like a lifetime ago now, but he still had all those feelings for him. It seemed that Judge Stokes still felt exactly the same way about him and their relationship as he did back then, so maybe nothing had changed since he left.

When the doctors finally finished checking over Nick, Judge Stokes and his wife got in to see him for a few minutes, before they decided to head home. It was nearly four in the morning and they wanted to get their grandchild home to his familiar bed after a long night at the lab, finally giving the team the chance to check on their man.

As soon as the coast was clear, Greg took his chance to sneak in to see him, rather wishing he hadn't as he looked even worse off when there wasn't glass in the way. He leant across the bed, looking for a patch of skin that didn't have ant bites covering it. He was completely covered in their infectious little bites though. The tip of his nose, his cheeks, his neck, chest, arms, thighs, toes... he hated to think where else they had bitten him.

The thought alone made him shiver.

Avoiding all thoughts of how painful the bites were, Greg pressed a kiss to the top of the older man's head, gently combing his fingers through his lusciously thick hair. Even covered with dirt, puss filled bites, itchy red spots, various wires and monitors, he was still the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

The only man he had ever loved.

Hearing the door opening behind him, Greg quickly moved back from the bed, gulping softly as Grissom made his way inside. He wasn't about to out Nick after years of keeping their relationship and his situation hidden. The only person who knew that they even dated was Sara and she was sworn to secrecy. Warrick, Catherine, Grissom. They were all kept in the dark and that was the way he wanted to keep it.

"Doctors said they gave him something to make him sleep." The older man reported, gritting his teeth together as he examined the bites a little closer for himself. "He'll be out for a while yet."

"Someone should be with him when he wakes up." Greg folded his arms across his chest, appointing himself that person. He didn't want him to wake up alone, especially after being trapped underground by himself for hours on end. He didn't think he should even be in a room all by himself at the moment, but the doctors didn't want to put him to move him just yet. He was still under observation, but the doctors were suddenly nowhere to be seen.

Not willing to start up any more arguments in the hospital, Grissom agreed with him, letting him stay by Nick's side for the rest of the night. He didn't want to upset Judge Stokes though, so he hung around too, just to make sure that Greg was out of there, before the Judge returned.

"I didn't realise that you two were close." Grissom spoke softly. He didn't usually like to get involved in the personal lives of his colleagues, but he hadn't seen Greg in so long, he thought they could use this time to catch up.

"Yeah..." Greg looked at the man sprawled out on the bed in front of him. "He's the best friend I ever had. He was the one who encouraged me to get out in the field. I didn't think he would. Remember that first scene I showed up to? That bus crash... the bus driver started spitting up blood right in front of us and I freaked out. I couldn't even move. Nick wasn't mad though. He told me his first day on the job back in Dallas, he threw up after seeing the bone sticking out of this guy's arm." He cracked a grin, wishing he could hear the delicious rasp of the Texan's voice again.

"I've spoken to Ecklie." Grissom spoke softly. "Catherine, Warrick and Nick will be back on graveyard shift with us by next week. Our new CSI, Sofia Curtis is becoming a detective, so there will be room for you on our team. Swing shift is looking a little empty at the moment, but I managed to convince him that you're better off with your old team."

"Thanks." Greg clasped his hands together in his lap, wondering if he should even stay. He only intended on coming back to help find Nick, past that he didn't really know. He didn't exactly hand in his notice or give his current supervisor any warning that he was going, he just caught the first flight out to be with Nick the moment he heard about his abduction.

"Who's your supervisor over at the San Francisco lab?" The older man tried to make small talk.

Greg anxiously bit his bottom lip a moment, before he answered, "Michael Carter."

Grissom nodded his head, recognising the name. "He's a good CSI. Maybe a little cocky, but he does everything he can to get the job done."

"When did you work with him?" He gave the man a curious look.

"In San Diego... nearly ten years ago now. He was just a rookie then. I was called in to help out with a serial murder case. I believe the count was up to nine, we were on the clock to find any scrap of evidence we could. Carter was keen to learn anything and everything he could. It's hard to believe he's a supervisor now."

"He'll never live up to you, but he's alright." Greg clasped his sweaty palms together in his lap, feeling a little guilty sitting in front of Nick, talking about the new life he had without him. He leant back in his seat, watching the man softly snoozing away, wishing it was him in his position, so he could take away his pain.

The moment the Judge arrived at the hospital the next day, Grissom quickly woke Greg up, ushering him out. He managed to keep the two of them from bumping into each other again, giving out a sigh of relief once Greg was out of sight. He didn't know why Judge Stokes had a sudden grudge against Greg. He wasn't even aware that they had met before today, but he wanted to avoid anymore conflict between them.

Greg hated being ushered away and hidden like a dirty little secret. He knew for a fact that Nick would prefer anyone else at his bedside other than his father, but he didn't want to stir up more trouble while the man he still adored was sleeping.

"Since when did you start smoking?" Sara startled him in the parking lot of the hospital.

It was too late to hide it, but it didn't stop him from trying.

"You know those things will kill you." She parroted his mother, only she didn't try to snatch it away or start crying _'why are you doing this to me?'_

Greg raised the cigarette in his hand to eye level, watching the flame burning away. "I don't know when I started again. I used to smoke back in Highschool, mostly to get in with the cool crowd. There was this girl, Tally that I really liked back in my senior year. She wouldn't give me the time of day when I was just dorky, chess club, Greg. But when I started dressing Goth and smoking, she finally noticed me."

Sara gave him a slight smile, leaning herself against the pillar beside him. "What happened between you two?"

"I got bored of the whole Goth thing, the makeup alone was time consuming, so she got bored of me. That and my Papa Olaf caught me smoking one day. He was furious. Threatened to tell my Mom if I didn't hand every single one of them over." Greg raised the stick to his lips, taking in a deep breath. "In New York everyone smoked, so when I joined the lab there, I started up the habit again. I quit right before I moved here."

"And San Francisco? What made you want to take it up again?"

Greg shrugged his shoulders together, flicking off the ash from his cigarette. "I don't know. I just sort of picked it up one day... been smoking since."

"You know that Nick's going to be okay, right?"

"Would you be okay after going through something like that?" He asked her, taking another deep puff of the cancer stick. He tossed it down to the ground with still half of it left, putting it out with his sneaker. "I keep thinking that if I had just stayed, none of this would have happened to him."

"You walking away didn't cause this, Greg. You left for a good reason. This probably would have happened even if you stayed." Sara waved her hand in front of her face, trying to get rid of the smoky scent. "You know if you're sticking around, you're going to have to give that up. Grissom won't allow a smoker to work in the field. Remember when he kept Catherine lab bound because she was wearing perfume? He doesn't like any scent to mess up his crime scenes."

"Who said I'm sticking around?"

"Oh c'mon, you gotta." Sara linked her arm through his, hugging her pseudo baby brother close. "The lab hasn't been the same since you left. Nick hasn't been the same either. I'm not saying he's been moping around like a heart broken teenager since you left..." She paused a moment, putting doubt in his mind. "A lots gone on since you left. He's..." She so desperately wanted to tell him about Evan, but she knew that she couldn't betray Nick's confidence like that. "Well he's miserable without you. Hey, if you stick around you can hear all about it."

"I'm not even sure if Nick will be happy to see me."

"Why wouldn't he be happy to see you? He always lights up around you. Not that anyone else at the lab knew, but I could see the love between the two of you was real. You had a good reason for leaving, but you didn't have to stay away for so long." She tapped his arm, giving him a smile. "Not that I'm having a pop or anything. I just wish you would have visited us or kept in touch at least."

"It didn't feel that long." He stared off into space, wondering where the time had gone. "Nick and I still talked. Not as much as we used to... I always had the feeling he was holding something back, but it didn't really surprise me since I _did_ break his heart."

Sara kept her lips shut, not willing to spill the secrets that Nick had trusted her with over the years. "I always wanted to ask you..." She spoke softly, letting go of his arm. "Why _did_ you leave? I know for the job opportunity, but why would you leave, Nick? You told me you loved him more than anything."

"I did... I do." He corrected himself. "We just... wanted different things. After the lab explosion, I wanted out of the lab. Ecklie wouldn't allow me to start my field training here, said he had enough CSIs on his hands already and the lab needed me, so I had to find somewhere else. Nick wanted to stay here... do the all normal stuff. He wanted us to buy a house together, maybe get married and have a bunch of rugrats. He wanted the white picket fence, apple pie life and I... I didn't. I just wanted him and my career." Greg stuffed his hands into his pockets, finding the packet of cigarettes again. He was really craving another one already. "When I got the job offer in San Francisco, I wanted him to come with me. He was so happy for me... but he didn't want to leave any of this behind. It kinda hurt a little that he was willing to let me go like that."

"He did it because he loves you. He wanted what was best for you."

"I wanted to pick him." Greg gave her a slight smile, pushing himself off the pillar. "I just wanted my career more than I wanted the life that he had pictured in his head at that moment. Looking back now... I wish I picked him. What's really so bad about being married, having a family home or maybe even a kid someday? At least I get to be with him. That's all that matters really, right?"

"That and your happiness, Greg. Nick wouldn't have wanted you to feel trapped by him. He didn't beg you stay at the airport, did he?"

"No." He shook his head. "Last thing he said to me was _'Good Luck, G'_ with a big ol Texas grin on his lips. Even though I didn't choose him, he was still happy for me. How could I have pushed away someone like that? His father was right about one thing. I don't deserve love from someone as amazing as Nick."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Greg turned away from the woman, before the tears started up again. He hadn't cried this much since he left Nick all those years ago. He made it all the way to his cheap rental car before he broke down in tears, sitting himself behind the steering wheel. He clutched it tightly in his hands, letting his tears flow free.

Why did he ever leave Nick behind? He had been miserable without him too.

After a few minutes, Greg wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands, hearing his cell ringing. He sniffled back his tears, digging out his phone before it went to voicemail. He hesitated a moment seeing the name flashing across the screen. He was tempted to ignore it again, but then he might start a search party or something, worried that something awful had happened to him.

"Hello." He answered, leaning back in his seat. "Sanders, I mean."

 _"Finally, where have you been? I've been worried sick. I've been by your apartment three times. Sent you eight messages. I must have left you six voicemail messages by now, none of which you've replied to. I'm starting to feel like your stalker ex-boyfriend. I was about to call the police."_

Greg cracked a slight smile, sniffing back his tears again. "I'm sorry. I had... a family emergency thing." He wasn't willing to tell him the truth just yet.

 _"Why didn't you call me back?"_

"I... haven't had my phone with me." He lied, noticing Sara making her way towards her car ahead of him. He gave her a wave and a reassuring smile, so she didn't worry about him too much. "I'm fine. You can call off the search party."

 _"Family emergency then, what is it your Mom?"_

"No, no... my Mom's fine. My Dad too... it's uh... a friend that has always been like family to me." Greg shook his head, anxiously clutching the steering wheel in front of him. "Listen Michael, I've been up all night. I've just left the hospital now. Can I call you back later after I've crashed for a while?"

 _"Yeah, yeah... sure."_ Michael spoke softly, sensing the lies the younger man was telling him, even through the phone. _"If this sudden escape from me is because I asked you to move in with me the other day... I just thought that you wanted me to ask you. You keep asking me where we're going, but you ditch me every time I try to make a commitment to you. I'm starting to feel as though you don't want me, Greg."_

Gulping softly, Greg tilted his head back against his seat, wishing he could make a decision, but he couldn't. "I didn't escape because of what you said. I had to leave because my best friend had been abducted. I just spent the last... nineteen hours or so helping the team find any clues they could so we could get him back from his torture chamber six feet underground. I'm sorry if I didn't consider your feelings during all of that." He angrily put the phone down, banging his fist against the steering wheel. "Idiot." He yelled at himself.

If he had never left Nick, he would have never of met Michael and complicated his life even more. He had often wondered who he would pick if Nick ever came back into his life. The decision wasn't clear to him until today. He loved Nick more than anything in the world. He realised that he had never stopped loving him. What he felt for Michael didn't even compare to his feelings for Nick.

Nick was and would always be the one.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading. Please review.**

 **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	3. Chapter 2 - Secrets Out

**Chapter Two - Secrets Out**

 _"We're not leaving you here. It's just gonna take us a minute to get you out of there, okay? Nick! Pancho!" His former supervisor shouted at him, using a nickname he hadn't heard in years. He looked into the man's eyes, realising that he was real and not just another figment of his imagination. "Listen... listen to me, Pancho. Put your hand on my hand."_

 _Concentrating, Nick lifted his hand, placing it beneath Grissom's on his coffin lid above him._

 _"Good, now I need you to listen to me very carefully, Pancho." He spoke softly and clearly. "There may be explosives under the box. They're probably set on pressure switches. Do you understand? We need to equalise your body weight, before we can pull you out of there, okay?"_

 _Nick breathed deeply, realising he was never getting out of here. He had faith in the team. He had just lost hope that he would survive any of this, especially after being eaten alive by ants for what felt like an eternity now._

 _"Pancho." Grissom tapped the glass with his hand, looking down into his eyes. "I need to know that you understand. Nod your head if you understand me. Pancho."_

 _Nick breathed in deeply, before he managed to nod. He gulped as Grissom disappeared from his line of sight, barking orders at everyone. He heard the name 'Greg' mentioned, but that was impossible. He hadn't worked with them for years. He left Las Vegas for his better life, why on earth would he come back here?_

 _"Alright," Grissom's hand returned to the coffin lid. "Pancho, we're gonna open the lid and get you out, but I need you to stay lying down. Okay? If you get up or move, you'll blow us all up. Do you understand?"_

 _Nick nodded his head quicker this time._

 _"Do you promise?" He waited for a response, but Nick was too distraught to focus on him. "Pancho, I need you to say it. I need to know that you understand, before we can get you out."_

 _With a scratchy throat, Nick sobbed, giving the man above him a nod. "I promise. I promise. Please..."_

 _Grissom straightened up to bark another order at the people around him. Nick could just about hear his muffled voice, watching him rallying the troops into position. He bent down to his level a moment later, ushering Warrick over to his side. The two of them lifted the lid of the Plexiglas coffin as if it were nothing._

 _Nick immediately cried out for freedom, reaching his hands out blindly for the people he had been hoping and praying for. He felt a hand on his chest, keeping him still, letting out a small sigh of relief from the warmth of another human being._

 _They latched something around his belt buckle a moment later, giving it a tug to make sure that it was secure._

 _"Okay, Pancho. I want you to close your eyes and hold your breath. We're not going anywhere. We're going to get you out of here." In that moment, Nick trusted him more than he had trusted anyone in his entire life. He nodded his head, before he closed his eyes. He breathed in a deep breath to hold, hearing what sounded a lot like heavy rainfall. He felt a heavy weight on his chest. He was being buried alive in dirt._

 _Did he imagine the rescue?_

 _"Ready? Go!"_

Nick's whole body jerked up off the bed, he thrashed at the covers, tasting the dirt in his lungs. His limbs started to tremble, feeling cold as if they weren't even attached to him anymore. He could feel the burning itch of the ant bites coating his body. His ears popped as he flung himself over onto his side, giving out one final gasp, before he woke himself up.

He scrambled to his knees on the middle of the bed, wiping away the droll from his chin as he took a moment to get his bearings. His eye sight was blotchy. He could see black spots and blurred lines over everything, before the familiar surroundings of his bedroom started to appear.

His bed side table. The dusty old lamp that flickered after being on for more than a few minutes. The alarm clock that had been unplugged weeks ago. His cell phone desperately in need of a charge and the crumpled old photo of a relationship long over, but never forgotten.

Yep, this was his room alright.

He was safe and sound in his bedroom. He wished he could say that it was all just some horrible nightmare. But it was the real live kind of nightmare that had kept him awake every night since his rescue.

Throwing back the sweat soaked covers, Nick scrambled out of bed, padding across the carpet towards the bathroom. He splashed his face with a handful of cold water, letting the tap run a moment as the drips fell from his stubbled jaw line. He watched the water swirling around the basin, disappearing down the drain, making a soft gurgling sound.

Straightening up, Nick turned off the tap, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He had dark bags beneath both eyes from the lack of sleep. His eyes were glossy and red as though he was having an allergic reaction to something and his skin had become pale and blotchy as though he was coming down with something.

At least he wasn't covered with puss filled bites anymore, but it still itched in places, like they were still beneath the surface of his skin.

"Oh, you're up." His mother appeared behind him in the mirror, her arms filled with freshly folded laundry. She gave her son a curious look as he grabbed himself a towel, wiping away the drips from his face. "I can make you some food if you're hungry. There's not a lot in the house at the moment, but I was going to do a quick grocery shop before the school run anyway."

"I'm fine." He grunted, ditching the towel. He turned to look at her, forcing a smile in her direction. He was used to producing fake smiles by now, but he didn't realise that the people he loved were onto him. "I'll grab somethin' before I head to the lab." He assured her, turning the shower on. He held his hand beneath the spray, waiting for it to warm up.

Ditching the folded laundry on the hamper, his mother placed her hands on her hips, giving him a confused look. She felt her own nightmares returning. "You're going back to the lab already? I thought they gave you a few more weeks off. You're supposed to be resting."

"I have been restin'. I've had six weeks of rest. I'm sick of restin'. I want to do somethin'. The department shrink cleared me already." He lifted his t-shirt up over his head, tossing it onto the floor.

Jillian took that as her cue to leave him to it, pulling the bathroom door shut behind her on the way out. She bent to pick up the Lego man out in the hallway, smiling to herself as she carried him off towards her grandson's bedroom. He wasn't the cleanest grandchild she had to pick up after. She didn't even intend on staying here in Las Vegas for this long after her son's rescue, but she couldn't leave them when her son was still so vulnerable, even if he didn't like to admit it.

The woman tossed the Lego man into the bucket of Lego bricks, pulling the blinds open to let in some afternoon sunshine. The sun really didn't quit in the desert. Snow was a thing of the past for this Texan. She barely saw any rain anymore and the only breeze around here was a humid one that brought the heat with it, rather than blowing it away.

She'd do anything to feel a cold breeze or stand outside in a chilli storm.

Sighing softly, Jillian turned away from the window, making her way back to the kitchen. She grabbed the shopping list she had made off the side, searching for her purse and car keys on her way towards the door, just as her son emerged from the bathroom in a pair of lounge pants, still dripping wet from his shower.

"Do you want to add anything to the list?" She extended it out towards him.

He briefly glanced at it, shaking his head. "I'm alright." He padded through to the kitchen, going straight for the fridge. He examined the empty shelves, grabbing the last piece of lasagne from the middle shelf. He gave it a sniff to make sure it was decent, before he found himself some cutlery, plopping himself down at the counter. "Do you want some money?" He called after her.

"No, it's just a few things. I don't mind." She shook her head, shoving the list into her purse. "I'll take Evan with me. Oh and your father called again." She remembered.

Looking down at the lasagne in front of him, Nick stabbed it with his fork, wishing she wouldn't keep bringing him up. He made his feelings very clear the last time he was here. He made his feelings about him very clear every time he saw him, so there was no reason why he would ever want to speak to him again.

"He was just checking in." Jillian tried to assure him that he didn't have an ulterior motive. "We're all concerned about you, Nicky. Your father is no different. Just because the two of you don't see eye to eye on... well... a lot of things, it doesn't mean that he doesn't still care about you. You're his flesh and blood. His youngest son. You must know how that feels."

Her son answered her with a glare.

"Fine." The woman threw her hands up in the air, making a move towards the door. "Don't shoot the messenger, I was just trying to help. Excuse me for trying to repair the tears in my family. This rift between the two of you doesn't only affect you, it affects all of us. I thought you would have put it in the past, especially with all this that's been going on, but you're both as stubborn as each other. We're all in this family too, Nicky, and we all have to put up with this feud between the two of you."

"You're makin' it out likes it's my fault." He barked back at her with a mouth full of food. "I'm not the one who started it. He is."

"No, but you sure as hell finished it. Throwing him out of your hospital room like that, especially after everything he did for you to try and raise the ransom money."

With a sigh, Jillian picked up her grandson's rollerblades from by the door, double checking she had turned the iron off, before she stepped out the house. She felt like knocking their heads together or locking them in a room together and letting them fight it out, but their latest technique was avoiding each other unless it was absolutely necessary to say something to one another.

There was no way around it anymore, they were destined to hate each other for the rest of their lives.

Arriving at the school a few minutes later, Jillian grabbed the rollerblades off the passenger seat, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she climbed out of the car. She made sure she locked it up tight, not exactly trusting the neighbourhood the school was located in. She didn't exactly like the look of the school either, but it was her son's decision to send her grandson here. Security checks, barred fences and metal detectors aside, the teachers seemed to care about their students and that was all that mattered.

Inside the school gates, she lined up beside the other parents, tapping her fingers against the rollerblades as she watched the teachers in fluorescent orange vests dismissing the students one by one. Some of them were loading children into the back of waiting cars, others ushering kids onto a school bus, draping an ID badge around their neck as they did. She couldn't help but roll her eyes, wondering where the trust had gone.

When her children were in school, they walked themselves there and back every day. Nowadays, parents wouldn't so much as let their children take a step without wrapping them up in safety gear.

"Hi." A woman in a pale blue blazer approached her. The woman's hair was in dire need of a comb and the thickly applied eyeliner around her eyes was starting to run, making her unmistakeable as one of the teachers in this establishment. "Excuse me, you're Mrs Stokes, right? Evan's grandmother." She double checked.

"Yes, I'm Jillian Stokes. Is there a problem?" She gave her a confused look.

"Oh no, no problem." The woman shook her head from side to side, opening up the folder she had tucked under her arm. "We noticed that your son, Mr Stokes only granted you temporary permission to pick Evan up from school. It only lasts six weeks and its expires this week. We can easily grant you a new one, but we need Mr Stokes here to give you the permission. You can take him home with you today, but after today you'll need a new permission slip."

"Are you kidding?" Jillian furrowed her brow, wondering what game they were trying to pull. "He's my grandson."

"Yes, we know that, but it's up to his father to decide who picks him up from school. There's no mother listed on his file. Mr Stokes only has himself down to pick up and drop off, Evan. If you could get your son to come in and grant you permission to take his son, you'll have permission to pick him up and drop him off at school again." The ragged woman gulped softly, looking at the fuming woman in front of her. "I'm very sorry, Mrs Stokes, but these rules are in place to protect the children. Without Mr Stokes' permission, we can't let Evan leave school grounds."

"But I can take him today?"

"Yes. Of course." She quickly nodded her head. "You have permission from his father, so you're allowed to take him off school grounds."

Jillian continued to scowl at the woman until she was out of her sight, rolling her eyes at the lengths people had to go to in order to keep the ones they loved safe. She turned her frown upside down as the teachers finally dismissed the first grade, sending them all running in the direction of their parents. She searched the crowd of little ones running in all directions, anxiously biting her bottom lip as she didn't see any sign of him.

 _So much for their safe guards._ She thought to herself, tapping her nails against the blades in her hands, starting to worry where he might have got to.

The playground started to thin out a little as parents escorted their children off the school grounds, until it was just a few teachers, one or two parents and some children whose parents had yet to show up.

But still, no sign of Evan.

Feeling her heart in her throat, Jillian hurried towards one of the teachers in the bright fluorescent jackets, trying to get her panicked words out straight, demanding to know where her grandson was, just as he appeared in front of her.

"Evan." Jillian practically fell to her knees in front of him, grabbing hold of his hands at his sides. She pulled him into her arms, hugging him as if she hadn't seen him in years. "I was so worried about you. Where were you?"

"I was in school." The child gave his grandmother a goofy grin. He pulled the cap off his head, looking around for any sign of his absentee father. "Grandma, where's Daddy?"

"Your father is going back to work today, so he's sleeping in to catch up on his sleep." Jillian gave him another excuse in what felt like a long line of excuses as she gently stroked her fingers through his messy hair. He was the spitting image of his father, especially his big brown eyes and bushy eyebrows. She guessed that the ears slightly too big for his head and the sandy brown roots were part of his other parent's gene pool, so she chose to ignore them since he was long gone. "While he's sleeping, we're going to go and do some shopping. I got your blades." She held them up to him.

Evan sighed softly, reaching out for the blades in her hands. "Daddy's always sleeping. I don't like it when he sleeps all the time."

He ditched his Iron Man backpack in her lap, turning towards the steps to the school behind him. He plopped down on the bottom step, stripping off the velcro to his sneakers. He still hadn't quite mastered tying laces yet and with the way his father had been over the past few weeks, he didn't want to ask him to show him how to do it again.

"Well sweetheart, remember I told you about Daddy's accident?" Jillian sat herself down beside him, giving him a hand with the laces to his blades. She wasn't allowed to tell him the details of Nick's abduction six feet under. The accident that they referred to involved the stuff of nightmares, things that his father didn't want him to know, but it was very hard not to talk about and she really didn't think that avoiding it altogether was very healthy.

But yet again, she had to respect her son's wishes.

"Well, since the accident, your Daddy hasn't been feeling very well. Remember when you had that upset tummy and you just wanted to stay on the sofa under the blanket, watching cartoons all the time? Well, that's kinda how your Daddy feels at the moment."

"Daddy doesn't watch cartoons though." He gave her a confused look.

"Very true, but he just wants to sleep all the time and stay in bed, doesn't he? It's because he's still not feeling very well, so he's sleeping more to try and recover from the... accident." Jillian tied a knot into his second lace, helping him to his feet. "He'll be better in no time though, so you shouldn't worry about him. We just have to give him some time to get better."

"Why is he going back to work then?" The perplexed frown on his brow only grew more confused.

"I..." Jillian looked up into his big brown eyes, wishing she had an answer for him, but she didn't even know herself. "Why don't we get started on this shopping? We're going to need something for your tea tonight. What do you fancy?"

Evan pursed his lips together, lighting up as he thought of his favourite meal. "Chilli."

"Alright, a big Texan Chilli it is. It's one of your father's favourites too, so I'm sure we won't get any complaints from him." Jillian brushed away the dirt from his t-shirt, trying to neaten him up a little. She noticed a red paint splotch on the bottom of his light blue t-shirt and grass stains on the knees of his khaki cargo shorts. Maybe it was because she raised more girls than boys herself, but she never could get used to how messy boys got. "Okay, ready to go? Can you make it the car in those?"

"Yes, I don't fall over anymore." He said, just as he stumbled forwards. He started rollerblading over the summer with his cousins. He managed to convince his father to buy him his own pair that his feet fit into unlike his cousins hand me downs, but he was still struggling to get the hang of it.

Leaving his grandmother with his backpack and sneakers, Evan put one foot in front of the other, gliding off towards the school gate. He pulled to a stop by the bars of the gate to allow her to catch up, watching the teacher checking her ID, before she let them out the gate. He clung close to her side in the car park, skidding to a stop at his father's truck.

His grandmother was a lot smaller than his father, so she always had to move the driver's seat right against the steering wheel in order to reach the pedals. She was a petite woman compared to everyone else in their family. His aunts were really tall, most of them taller than his own father. He noticed that his father was a lot smaller than his Uncle Billy and Granddad too, but he was the youngest in the family, so maybe he still had some growing to do.

Grandma Jillian was too old to grow any taller though. She used to have long brown hair that stretched all the way down her back, but she had cut it much shorter since her last visit into a more conservative hairstyle that she often pinned back with a crocodile clip. He hadn't seen any grey hairs on her head yet, he suspected that she dyed it to hide the greys as his Granddad's head was completely silver now.

Despite her small size and advanced age, the sixty year old woman easily managed to lift him into the back of his father's truck, supervising him climbing into his booster seat. She always had to double check that his seatbelt was tight enough around him too, before she attempted to climb the great distance herself. She didn't play the radio like his father did, so the car was in complete silence all the way to the store.

He listened to the clicking of the indicators, the whistling of the breaths coming from his grandmother's nostrils and the constant hum of the engine all the way to the store. He started to get bored, but his grandmother didn't like to play car games and she didn't know how to play them either.

When they finally arrived, the car park was completely packed with cars and none of them were leaving. His grandmother crawled the truck around at a snail's pace, checking every spot. She tapped her nails against the steering wheel, spotting one car attempting to leave.

"Well, c'mon then. What are you waiting for? Do you want me to write you a permission slip? Get out of the space." She started to get impatient. His father was a much more patient driver than her, he occasionally muttered _'friggin idiot'_ to certain drivers, but he never raised his voice like she did.

His Grandmother waved a hand gesture at the man as he crawled out of his spot, quickly whisking the truck into its place.

"Alright, here we are." She unbuckled herself. "Careful with the door on your side, Evan. Are you alright to get down in those things?"

"Yep." Evan jumped straight out of the car, skidding to a halt on his blades. He easily slipped between the tight space of the cars, waiting for his Grandmother to gather her things on the sidewalk. "C'mon, Grandma." He started to get impatient.

"Just checking I got my purse. I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached." Jillian grinned at her grandson, taking his hand to lead him into the store. She grabbed one of the family sized shopping carts, impatiently waiting for the mother of a small child to get out of their way, so they could make their way inside.

"Grandma, can we look at the toys?" The excited six year old noticed the toy department right next to the door. "Please, please, please." He begged her.

"No, we just need to do a quick shop. Can you hold the end of the cart please?" Jillian chose to avoid the section altogether, rolling her eyes at the sounds of screaming children coming from that department.

 _Those poor saps falling for the stores tactics to get more money._ She thought to herself, digging out her shopping list from her purse.

Evan pouted his lip out as they passed by the toy department, clinging to the end of the shopping cart as they made their way around the store. She occasionally let him pick out a few things, but she was a lot stricter than his father was. Neither of them ever allowed him to have sweets, but at least his father let him pick out things he liked to eat.

Getting bored of his grandmother's mundane routine, Evan skated off while she wasn't looking, stumbling through a display of crackers at the end of the aisle. He scrambled to his feet, anxiously biting his bottom lip as his grandmother rushed to his side.

"Are you alright?" She brushed him down, making sure he didn't have any grazes. "Well, I think you'll live. Hold the cart." Jillian wasn't the sort to break something and run, so she stayed to stack the cracker boxes all the way up again, trying to make the display look like it did before her grandson fell through it. "There, good as new. What's next on the list?"

"Grandma, I'm bored."

"I know, but we're almost finished. Don't go wandering off, Evan. We need to pick up the things for the sauce."

Ignoring his Grandmother's warning, Evan skated off towards the fish counter, catching the metal railing to stop himself. He pressed his face up against the glass, looking at all the fish inside. Some of them were whole fish with their heads still attached, while others had been gutted already. He missed fishing with his Dad and Grandfather on the ranch. It felt as though they hadn't been back there in years.

"Hi, Evan. I thought that was you." A tall lady appeared beside him. He took a moment to look up at her, recognising the smart business suit of hers right away. It was his Aunt Sara and she was holding a heavy basket of groceries. He thought she lived alone, but her basket was filled with microwave meals for two. "You're getting tall. How old are you again?"

"I'm this many." Evan counted out his fingers, holding them up to her. "That's six."

"Six, wow. You're getting big. Are you here with your father?"

Evan shook his head, still studying the contents of her basket. She had an awful lot of wine for a single person too. His Grandmother didn't even drink that much wine and his Grandfather often joked that she was an alcoholic.

"Why are you all dressed up?" He gave her a curious look.

"Oh, my suit?" Sara adjusted the jacket, giving him a smile. "I was just in court. I had to present my evidence for a case that I worked today. I thought I'd buy some dinner on my way home."

"That's a lot of dinner for one person." Evan made an observation.

"Looks like you have a career as a CSI in your future." Sara cracked a grin. "So, how is your father doing?" She didn't know how much Evan had been told, but he must have noticed a change in his father's behaviour.

"Okay." Evan shrugged his shoulders together. "He sleeps a lot. Do you like my new blades, Aunt Sara?" He pointed to his feet.

"Yeah, they're really cool." She took a step back to admire them. "I never could rollerblade when I was a kid. I guess I didn't have very good balance. I never learnt how to ride a bike either."

"I got a bike. I still have the stabilisers attached. Daddy said we can take em off when I get gooder."

Sara smiled at the adorable miniature version of Nick. He was starting to look more and more like someone else she knew, but she knew she wasn't allowed to make that comparison to anyone else.

"Evan, I told you not to wander off." His Grandmother snatched his hand up from his side. "Don't talk to strangers either."

"But it's Aunt Sara." He protested, rolling to a stop beside the shopping cart.

"Sorry, that's my fault. I'm Sara Sidle. I work at the lab with his father, Nick." She introduced herself to the woman. She was there with her at the hospital just a few weeks ago, but Mrs Stokes didn't seem to recall her at all. "Anyway, I was just wondering how he was doing. We haven't heard from him in a while."

"He's fine. Just fine. We have to get going." The woman was very abrupt, ushering Evan away from the strange woman as quickly as possible. She led him so far away from her, he couldn't even see the fish counter anymore. She grabbed a few more things on their way to the checkouts near the front of the store, eager to get out of there as fast as possible.

"Grandma, I'm hungry." Evan dragged himself along behind the shopping cart on the way out, spotting his Aunt Sara loading her groceries into the back of a car that wasn't her own. He recognised the car, but he didn't know who it belonged to. It certainly wasn't hers, she drove a green car, this one was almost grey.

"C'mon Evan, we've gotta get home." His Grandmother ushered him along, stopping in front of her son's truck. She pulled the keys out of her pocket to open it up, taking the groceries round to the back. She struggled to lift him into the back this time because the cars were so close together, but she made it without scratching up the other car beside them. "There we are. Take these." She presented him with a bag of grapes to chomp on, keeping him quiet long enough to make it home.

"This one has a stone inside." Evan held up the sticky stone to her.

"Oh... it's not a stone, it's just a seed. They're supposed to be seedless grapes. Be careful chewing them, okay sweetheart? Just dump it back in the bag, we'll clean it up later." Jillian watched him closely in the rear view mirror, making sure he didn't choke. "Don't eat too many, you'll spoil your appetite."

"Daddy will eat my dinner if I don't." He quickly responded.

Jillian couldn't help but smile at his comment. "Yes, he probably will because your Daddy has always had a very big appetite. But you're supposed to eat your own dinner. You're never going to grow big and strong if you don't eat all your food."

"If I don't grow big and strong, Daddy will stay home with me more and we can play again."

Jillian lifted her gaze to the rear view mirror, giving her grandson a sympathetic smile. "Your Daddy will always be there for you, Evan. He's just having a tough time at the moment. It's not because you're growing up. There are tons of things that your Daddy can't wait to do with you as you get older. He just needs to get his life back on track after the... the accident." She turned towards their street, wishing she could just tell him, but she knew she couldn't. "Your Daddy loves you very much, Evan. We have to show him our support to get through this, then we'll get him back. Okay?"

Evan nodded his head, scrunching up the bag of grapes, seeing their familiar street. He unbuckled his seatbelt when his grandmother pulled the car to a stop, jumping straight out onto the driveway. He lost his footing on his rollerblades though, stumbling to his knees on the concrete. He lifted his hands from the floor, brushing away the dirt as his Grandmother came running around to check on him.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? Let me see." She scooped him up, brushing away the dirt. "Ooh... you've got a little graze there on your knee, but I think you'll live. Don't worry about the grapes, they're not too squished. Go inside and get those hands washed. We'll get dinner started in a minute. Here, it's this one." She handed him the keys to the front door, leaving her to get the bags.

"Daddy!" Evan shouted, bursting through the door. He dropped to the floor to pull his rollerblades off, leaving them in the doorway as he hurried down the hall to his father's bedroom. "Daddy!" He saw his empty bed right away, running through to the bathroom in case he was in there, but there was no sign of him there either.

After a quick search of the other rooms with no luck, Evan pushed open the back door to the garden, finding his father knelt down beside the lawn mower.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" He padded across the patio in his socks towards him.

"I was goin' to cut the lawn, but the mower won't start. I'm tryin' to fix it." Nick slid his hands beneath his son's arms, lifting him into his embrace. He pecked a kiss to his cheek, giving him a wide smile. "Hey gorgeous, so how was your day?"

"O-kay." He spoke softly, picking through the various tools his father had laid out on the floor beside them. "Daddy, what's this for?"

"That is for checkin' the air pressure in tires." Nick playfully tickled his sides to pry it out of his hand, putting it out of his reach. "Your day was just okay? You didn't learn anythin' special today?"

"No, we just did some spelling, drawing and I climbed all the way up the climbing frame today."

"Wow, all the way up?" Nick wrapped his arms tightly around his son, feeling as though his world was back to normal now that he had his baby in his arms. "I bet you could see for miles up there."

"Yeah, way up above the clouds. I saw the birds and planes in the sky."

"Whoa, that's high up. Where's Grandma?" Nick lifted his son to his feet, climbing up with him. "Don't touch those tools, baby. Put some shoes on if you're stayin' out here." He pointed to his feet, making his way back into the house to give his mother a hand.

Jillian immediately handed the bags over to him, noticing the prominent dark circles still under his eyes. "Are you sure you're up to going into work tonight? They would understand if you want to take some more time off. After what you went through, you should go on a long leave of absence or something."

"It's already arranged. You're not goin' to change my mind, Mama." Nick carried the bags into the kitchen, taking a peak through them, before he started to unpack them. "What are we havin' tonight?"

"Chilli, Evan's request." Jillian tapped her knuckles against the door, ushering Evan inside. "Don't touch those tools, sweetheart."

"I wasn't."

"Well stay away from them, please. Your Daddy is going to pick them up in a minute."

Nick rolled his eyes at his mother, wishing she had a little bit of confidence in him as a parent. Having her back in his life again made him feel inadequate. She didn't trust him with Evan's best interests and she constantly pointed out everything that he was doing wrong.

Leaving his mother to prepare dinner, Nick crashed back in bed, counting the days until she was back in Texas again and out of his way.

Evan set himself up with some Lego blocks in his bedroom, missing the days when his father used to play with him. He really hadn't been the same since his accident. He barely even saw him anymore and when he did, he was always too tired to play with him.

When their traditional Texan style chilli was ready an hour or so later, Nick took a seat at the head of the table, lifting Evan into his lap. He put his arms around him, listening to him talking a mile a minute about every little thing that happened at school that day. He always had so much energy and passion for everything, reminding him so much of someone he had lost.

It was almost enough just to have him around, but he still missed the real thing more than anything in the world.

Sitting himself by his son's bed that night, Nick watched him peacefully sleeping away in his Iron Man pyjamas, wishing he had made so many different choices where Evan was concerned. For starters, never telling him the truth about his birth. Making him believe that he had a mother who had died. The worst part of all, never being able to tell him about Greg and what he meant to him.

He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach every time he thought about him. Would he ever be able to forgive him? Would he ever understand the reasons behind his lies? But most of all, would he ever come back?

* * *

"Alright, Warrick you're with me. Catherine can take the double murder..." Lab Supervisor, Gil Grissom paused a moment, smiling slightly as he saw the familiar face emerging in the doorway. He stared at him for the longest moment to make sure he was real, before he dismissed the rest of the team. "Alright, get to work. Warrick, I'll meet you out by the car."

"Nick, you're back." Catherine jumped straight up to hug him, more to make sure that he was real and not just a hallucination. "I didn't know you were coming back today. How are you doing?"

"Above ground." He shrugged it off with a smile. He caught Warrick's hand as he stepped closer to him, pulling him in for a quick hug.

"Good to have you back, man."

"C'mon guys, we have work to do." Grissom dismissed them again, waiting for them to leave. He turned his attention towards his long lost CSI, almost wishing he could hug him too after seeing him in that situation just a few weeks ago, but that wouldn't be very professional. "Nick, you still have a few weeks of leave left. What are you doing back?"

"I can't sit home anymore, Gris. I'm goin' out of my mind. I need somethin' to do." He got to the point, closing the door to the man's office behind him. "I'm fine. They cleared me on the psych evaluation, right? I've completed my required number of sessions with the department shrink. I just need to get back into work. Sittin' at home with nothin' to do, all I can think about is bein' back underground. I need to be back at work."

"Don't you still have Evan with you?" The older man queried, busying himself sorting files on his desk.

"Yeah... he just started the first grade though, so he's not really with me all day anymore. And when he is there, my Mom's takin' care of him." Nick was really starting to regret his choice to let her stay with him after the accident, but he really didn't know where they would be without her.

"First grade already?" Grissom looked a little confused. He thought he was a lot younger than that. He didn't even know what age children were when they started the first grade, but he didn't think that Evan was that age already.

"Yeah... I really need to get back to work though." Nick stuck to his original point. "You've gotta be short staffed anyway. What with Sofia trainin' to become a detective and the shift switch over."

"Actually, Ecklie has put us all on the same shift again. We've all been working graveyard since... well, since we came together to get you back." Grissom took a seat behind his desk, clasping his hands together in front of him as he attempted to deliver the next piece of news to him. He gulped softly, motioning Nick towards the seat in front of him. "Sit down, Nick."

Nick pursed his lips together, cautiously sitting himself down. "What's this about?"

"Well... after we rescued you from the... we had some evidence to process before we could close the case." Shuffling through the things on his desk, Grissom found the picture logged into evidence of the tape recorder that Nick had in the box with him. He looked at it himself a moment, before he slid it across the desk towards his CSI. "I've been sitting on it since... waiting for you to recover. Do you remember this?"

Nick gulped, giving him a slight nod. "Yeah... what about it?"

"Well..." Grissom started to wish he had never brought it up, but it was too late now. He cleared his throat, sitting himself upright. "On the tape... you sort of... you left goodbye messages... regrets... confessions... that sort of thing." He struggled to explain, wishing he didn't have to go through all of this, but it was apparently part of his job description. "It's really not any of my business what was said, but as your supervisor, I have to make sure that you... you have to be able to work with all of your team."

"Gris, what are you tryin' to say?" He gave him a confused look.

Seeing no other way around it, Grissom pushed himself to his feet, ushering Nick up with him. "Follow me, Nick. C'mon, it'll just take a minute." He led him through to the AV lab, stopping Archie from going through anymore CCTV footage. "Archie, give us a moment, will you?" He waited for the younger man to leave, before he brought up the audio file for Nick. He handed him a pair of headphones, wondering if he even remembered what he had said.

Nick still look confused, but he sat himself down, putting the headphones over his ears. He watched Grissom hitting play, before he stared off into space, listening to the audio crackling to life. He heard his own deep breaths coming through the tape, before he started to speak.

 _"My name is Nick Stokes."_

A chill immediately shivered down his spine.

 _"I'm a CSI at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. If anybody finds this tape... turn it into the Las Vegas Police Department. There should be a reward."_

He heard a smirk that he didn't remember doing.

 _"Mom..."_

He heard his voice crack with emotion.

 _"Cisco... well, this is a lousy way to say goodbye, but it's all I've got. I love you both. Cisco... I know we've had our differences in the past... but I want you to know that you raised me right... and I miss you. Dad... I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I couldn't be the son you always wanted. I tried my best... I tried so hard to be everythin' that you asked of me... I wish I could have been normal for you..."_

He heard himself swallow heard, remembering the feeling of trying to say goodbye to everyone.

 _"As for the rest of you guys... I know you did the best you could to find me. Don't blame yourselves for this... it's not any of your faults. Grissom... I never meant to disappoint you."_

Glancing up at his supervisor, Nick saw the glaze in his eyes, suddenly wishing he had never come in, but he hadn't even gotten to the worst part yet.

 _"Warrick... you've always been the best friend I ever had. I know you're probably beatin' yourself up over this... goin' frantic over that stupid coin toss... but I want you to know... it's not your fault. I don't blame you for... this. Evan... I... I'm sorry... my baby boy..."_

He heard his sniffles as he thought of never seeing his son again, sending tears trickling down his cheek.

 _"Every day you make me proud. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you, but I want you to know... that I... one four three forever. I wish that I could be there to see you grow up... but I know that you're gonna make me proud. Whatever you do... I'll always be with you. Gr-eg..."_

His voice cracked again. The emotion in the sound of his voice brought all those feelings crashing back. He wanted to rip the headphones off and run for the nearest exit, but he had to know what he said.

 _"Greg, I miss you so much. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you... I never stopped... I tried... but you've always been the one."_

Nick gripped the edge of the table as he listened to the sound of his own voice, realising what was coming next.

 _"I missed you so much. Evan... he's..."_

He heard the longest pause, followed by a few sharp breaths.

 _"He's all I have left of you. All I had to hold onto. I couldn't even face the truth and tell him. I couldn't even tell you."_

Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, Nick realised why his boss was acting so shifty around him.

 _"Evan... he's yours. He's your son."_

Looking out the glass walls to the lab they were in, Nick spotted the man in question strolling through the lab hall after nearly six years away from the place. He froze in his seat, feeling cold chills running down his spine as he prayed that he didn't see him or come this way.

How could he possibly face him after everything? What was he even supposed to say to him? Where would he even begin?

More importantly, what was he going to tell him about Evan?

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy your weekend.**

 **~ Holly**


	4. Chapter 3 - Past Love

**Hi guys, for some reason the chapter I uploaded over the weekend didn't send out alerts to my readers. Thank you Alisa for contacting me about that so if you haven't already read it, please go back and read Chapter 2 so this one makes sense :) Thanks for reading, please let me know what you thought and I hope you enjoy the rest of your week!**

 **~ Holly**

* * *

 **Chapter Three - Past Love**

"You listened to it?" Nick got up from the table, ditching the headphones from his head onto the desk. He gave his supervisor an accusing look, trying to read his expression, but as usual, his eyes weren't giving anything away. "Has it been logged into evidence? Does everyone know about this?" He pointed at the computer, holding the audio file to the truth. He never thought it would actually make it back to the lab, especially after the explosion. He thought it would have been destroyed, more hoping since it held the truth to everything on it.

"The suspects side of the tape was logged into evidence as part of your case. But your side wasn't logged. No one even knows about it." Grissom tried to calm him down. "It's not related to the case, so there was no reason to log it. No one has to know."

"How many of you have listened to this?" He couldn't believe they had been holding this for the past six weeks, without saying so much as a word to him. "Is this why Greg is back? Did you tell him about this? He wouldn't just ditch his job like that."

"No... only Archie and me know that you recorded anything. The rest of the team don't even know about the tape recorder. During the confusion... they missed it. They were more focused on you. Brass knows there was a tape recorder. He saw me photographing it, but he never heard it. Archie didn't hear your side either. Only me. I'm the only one who listened to it." He desperately tried to assure the younger man, holding his hands up to him, so he knew he was telling the truth. "Nick, what did you mean... about Evan?

"It doesn't matter." He shook his head, feeling his breathing becoming laboured.

"Nick, you told us that his mother died, left him with you. This tape..."

"I said it doesn't matter." Nick snapped at him this time, scanning the lab outside for any sign of Greg. He knew his lies would come back and bite him in the ass one day, but he wasn't expecting it to happen like this. "Why is he back here? If you didn't tell him, why is he here?"

"Greg?" Grissom ran his fingers through his hair, softly biting his bottom lip. "He doesn't know. Greg came back to help us when you were abducted. Sara called him after you were abducted to let him know what was going on. He got the first flight over, insisted on helping out with the case. We needed the help, so we let him join the team to help process evidence. He was there when you were rescued. He was at the hospital with you after we found you... your father put a stop to his visits though."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Nick realised now why his mother had been constantly watching the door while he was in hospital. "He's been back all this time?"

"I didn't even know that you two were that... close. How long was that going on?"

Nick immediately shot him a look.

"I know, it's none of my business. Believe me, the last thing I want is to get myself involved in the personal lives of my team." Grissom anxiously scratched his forehead, still trying to get the facts straight in his head. He wanted to bring it up when he first heard the recording, but he needed to give his CSI time to recover after everything that he went through. He didn't like to get involved in the private lives of his team, but this was a situation that couldn't be ignored. "It's just... if Evan really is Greg's son, don't you think you should tell him?"

"No. He doesn't need to know."

"Why did his mother leave him with you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Well, who was she?"

"It's not... it's just not that simple." Nick grabbed the door to the lab. "Evan is mine. That's all you need to know. Greg doesn't need to know any of this. He has no reason to know." He pulled the door open, escaping before he had a chance to bump into Greg himself. He would have jumped at the chance to see him before, but now that the secret was out, he couldn't get away fast enough.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

There he was as large as life, stood in front of him with that same boyish smile plastered across his adorable lips that made him fall for him in the first place. He had imagined this moment a thousand times over, planning what he would say to him or what he would do once he finally had him back in his arms, but now all he could do was stare at him. He was after all the grown up version of the little boy he had been taking care of for the past six years without him.

His ears, slightly too big for his head, but so adorably cute, he wouldn't look the same without them. His shapely bushy eyebrows. Big beautiful eyes, adorable clusters of moles, perfectly kissable lips and the smile that could light up a room.

His Greg was back and he was still the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

"Hi." Greg spoke first.

Just the sound of his familiar voice made the hairs on the back of Nick's neck stand on end. He never thought he would hear that voice again, not after he walked out on him to chase his dream career of being a field CSI in the city he loved. Certainly not after he brought his child into this world without telling him and he was hoping that he would never have to explain his reasons why he kept it all from him.

Looking at him now, he regretted that choice more than ever.

"Hi." Greg spoke again, just in case he didn't hear him the first time. "It's good to see you. Up and about, I mean." He seemed a little nervous or maybe he was just feeling awkward. "I came by to see you at the hospital. I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Yeah, um... Gris told me that you stopped by." Nick motioned over his shoulder, feeling all his anger fading away, just looking into the eyes of the man he still loved more than anything.

"I stayed with you the first night you were rescued." Greg stuffed his hands in his pockets, giving the man a slight smile. "I would have stayed longer... but your parents didn't want me to stick around."

"Sorry." Nick spoke softly.

"Why? It's not your fault."

"I didn't know you were back. What happened to the gig in San Francisco?" He awkwardly stuffed his hands into his pockets too, practically mimicking the younger man's actions. "Did they let you go?"

"No... I... I came back to help with your case. When I went back to San Francisco after... it just didn't feel like the right fit anymore. I put in for a transfer two weeks ago. I'm officially moved back now." Greg smiled slightly, looking around the old lab. He had that beautiful lop sided grin plastered across his lips, making Nick's heart throb. "You're looking at the Las Vegas crime labs newest, CSI level two."

"Level two?" The man smiled proudly, feeling his heart fluttering a little more. "Congratulations, you made it, man. I'm really happy for you." He wanted to hug him, but what if he couldn't let him go? "So you've been back in Vegas two weeks?"

"Yeah, I wanted to come by and see you... but your father kinda told me to keep away from you. Shouted at me in front of everyone more like. I didn't want him to 'out' you in front of them all, so I gave you some space. I think he threatened to ring my neck, if I even went close to your place. I guess your father still has it in for me. He never did like me when you first introduced us. I couldn't sleep that first night in Texas, worrying he was going to load that double barrel shotgun in his office and blow me away for corrupting his youngest." The younger man confessed, talking a mile a minute.

Nick gave him a slight smile, secretly wishing they were back in that moment when they were still dating and everything between them was solid. He knew that Greg was the one for him the very first moment he laid his eyes on him. He thought he had found his happy ever after back then, but it didn't last as long as he was hoping.

"You know I would have never let him hurt you. I protected you from him for three years, didn't I?"

"I used to know that... now I'm not so sure." Greg looked a little awkward, looking around the lab, before he took a step closer to him. "I _did_ break your heart all those years ago. Even when we talked... I felt as though you had never really forgiven me."

"You had your reasons for leavin'. I get that. You made it at least, you're a CSI level two already." Nick felt tempted to lean forwards and kiss him, but no one at the lab ever knew about their relationship and that was the way he wanted it to stay. He could settle for a hug, but he didn't know if Greg had met someone else. He could have been with dozens of guys in the past six years. He didn't blame him either, he was still young and gorgeous, any guy would be lucky to even look at him.

"Yeah, I stuck it out. It wasn't the same as being here with a lab full of family. But finally being out in the field, experiencing the case from start to finish, rather than just a small part of it. It made it all worth it." The younger man smiled slightly. He still had no idea what affect that had on Nick. "The team at the San Francisco lab weren't so bad though. We got along okay. I missed you." He confessed.

Nick took a step away from him, giving him a slight nod. "So I guess I'll see you around if you're stickin' around for a while." He felt the guilt bubbling to the surface, deciding to cut it short.

"Are you doing okay, Nicky?" Greg stopped him from leaving, placing his hand on Nick's arm. He knew he was probably sick of that question by now, but he had to know for sure. He didn't come all this way to just sit back and watch him suffer on his own. "You know, I missed you. I know we caught up every couple of months or so, but talking on the phone and seeing you in person are two really different things. I wonna catch up properly now that I'm back, if you have time. If you want to, I mean."

"Yeah." The man's voice croaked. He gave him a slight nod, trying not to get his hopes up. He left him before. They had been together for three years, he didn't think anything could break them apart, but he found out the hard way that he was wrong. "You know my number, let me know when and where. I'm not exactly busy at the moment, everyone seems to think I'm incapable of doin' my job, so I'm pretty much stuck at home."

"They're just worried about you. If it was me down there, wouldn't you be worried too?"

Nick immediately nodded his head, making a beeline for the elevator as it opened up on their floor. He couldn't think about Greg being trapped in that box. He didn't even want the memories of himself being stuck down there, so he did the only thing he knew how to and escape.

"I should get goin'. I'm glad you're back with us. The lab hasn't been the same without you, G." He used the familiar nickname for the first time in six years, sending chills down his spine. He waved to the younger man, admiring him one last time as the doors to the elevator closed in front of him. He felt as though no time had passed for a brief moment, feeling all the happiness he used to feel returning.

The last time he felt happiness like that was nearly nine years ago now.

His first kiss with Greg to be exact. He never forgot how it felt. He still remembered the day as though it was yesterday.

The day started off like a nightmare. He had been stood in front of their armed suspect, staring down the barrel of a gun, thinking that these were his last moments here on earth. He tried everything he could to calm her down, but she wasn't listening to a word he was saying.

 _"No wait!"_ He remembered his desperate pleas, just as Grissom came in to save the day.

It didn't really hit him until later in the locker room, where he broke down in tears at the thought of what could have happened to him. In his moment of need, the most unlikely suspect was there to help him through it. He was more than just a comfort to him though. He awakened feelings inside of him that had been long forgotten.

Nick was caught completely off guard at first, never expecting Greg Sanders, the quirky lab technician of all people to make a move on him like that. He stared into his eyes after their lips first touched, trying to figure out what had just happened or even what Greg's intentions were.

Instead of asking him to explain himself though, Nick placed his hands on the younger man's face, moving forwards until their mouths closed over one another's completely.

For the longest moment in his life, he indulged in a secret fantasy of his, fighting against all the voices in his head that were telling him this was wrong and from that moment on, he was completely in love with him.

It felt like someone else's life now.

When he returned home to his baby boy, all the lies came crashing down around him. The only photo he had of Greg was hidden way in his bedside table. Evan didn't know about him. He didn't know his name or the fact that he even had a photo of him. He certainly didn't know that he was the second party involved in creating him, not the fake mother that Nick invented to try and save himself some embarrassment.

He was just lucky that Evan had never been that bothered about the mother he invented. He barely asked any questions about her and when he did, he always accepted Nick's answers, rather than questioning them like he should have.

Sitting himself beside his son's bed, Nick watched him peacefully sleeping away for what felt like hours, trying to avoid the temptation himself. He didn't want to face the nightmares of being six feet under. He would rather focus on how he was going to solve the mess he had gotten himself into.

Luckily the thoughts clouding his head kept him awake, until the sun started to rise outside.

Evan started to toss and turn at first, looking just like he did when he was a baby. He yawned widely revealing his gappy toothed gums, before his beautiful eyes finally popped open. Nick greeted him with a sunny smile, feeling as though he was falling in love with him all over again.

"Good mornin', baby."

Evan stretched his arms out either side of him, sprawling himself out just like Greg used to do, before he sat himself up in bed. He adorably rubbed the sleep from his eyes, slipping straight out of bed to join his father on the chair.

"Hi." Nick lifted him onto his lap, pressing his lips to his forehead as he wrapped his arms around him. "Good mornin', sleepy head. Did you sleep well?" He breathed in the natural scent of his hair, adoring the way it stuck up all over, just like someone else he knew.

Nodding his head, Evan buried himself against his father's chest, relishing the hug while it lasted.

"Listen, baby." Nick hugged him a little closer, feeling an overwhelming urge to protect him from the truth, especially now that Greg was back. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately. I'll make it up to you though. We can spend the whole weekend together." He kissed his forehead again. "Things haven't been so bad with Grandma around though, have they?"

Evan dropped his head back to his father's shoulder, shaking it from side to side. "I wish Granddad could have stayed." He stated, still not knowing the reasons behind his father's dislike of the man. "Can you pick me up from school now, Daddy?"

"I can. If that's what you want." He thought back to his mother's plan a few weeks back, deciding it was the best thing to do right now, especially now that Grissom knew the truth. "How do you feel about takin' some time off at your Grandparents ranch for a while? We can see each other every day that way."

Evan looked slightly confused. "What about school?"

"We'll come back." The man didn't sound very convincing. "It'll just be for a little while. Like a mini vacation. We haven't been back there since the summer. Don't you want to play with your cousins again? See all the animals... and Granddad?" He wasn't looking forward to seeing his father again himself, but he needed to get out of here. Even time with his father was better than facing up to the truth.

"A holiday?" The six year old gave him a confused look.

"Yeah, it's almost Thanksgivin'. We can take an extended vacation at the ranch. What do you think?"

"What's that now?" His mother overheard from the doorway, folding her arms across her chest. She was still dressed in her nightgown and her hair was a little dishevelled as though she had just rolled out of bed. "You told me yesterday that you were considering going back to work, now we're heading home to Texas for the holidays? What's going on with you? You can't pull Evan out of school, he only just started the first grade. Do you want him to fall behind already?"

"Evan." Nick lifted his son down from his lap, gently combing his fingers back through his hair. "Go wash up for school. I have to talk to Grandma for a minute. It's alright, go on. I'll be there in a minute."

Evan padded past his grandmother into the hallway, putting his back to the wall outside. He rested his head back against the wall, listening to another one of their arguments. It had become a regular thing around here since his Grandmother decided to stay with them and he didn't like it one bit.

"I know you're going through something, Nicky, but you're pulling that child in all different directions at the moment. He doesn't know which way is up. You weren't even there to drop him off his first day of the first grade. You didn't even pick him up like you promised. Do you know how that feels to be abandoned by your own father like that? These lies that you're giving him are going to tear his little heart up. He needs to know the truth."

"It's not your decision to make. It's never been your decision. He's _my_ son."

"Yeah, but where have you been?" The woman pointed out the cold hard truth to him. "You've been lying to that little boy since the moment he was born. I know you thought you were protecting him in the beginning..."

"You told me to do that."

"No, I didn't." Jillian objected to his statement. "Your father told you to do that. He was the one who told you to make up the birth mother and hide the truth from him. I never wanted any of this. I thought that Evan deserved to know the truth. I went along with it, because I thought that you were doing what was best for him. But being back here now, I can see that you're killing his spirit with these lies. You think he doesn't know that you're lying to him? Pretty soon, he's not going to trust anything that you say."

"I'm just tryin' to protect him." Nick dropped his head into his hands, giving out a soft sigh. "I can't do that in this city anymore."

"You think going somewhere else is going to make any difference? You owe him the truth, Nicholas. He's six years old at the moment. He won't always be this forgiving of your lies. If this is the way the rest of his life is going to be for him, maybe he was better off being put up for adoption like you planned. I know I shouldn't say that because I adore that child more than anything, but maybe he was better off with a family who wouldn't fill his head with lies. You should know better than anyone that lies destroy lives. How would you feel if we had lied to you about something this big? Would you trust anything we ever told you?

"Don't cross examine me, Mama. I'm not on trial."

Jillian placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "He's your child. He'll love you no matter what. You just have to tell him the truth."

"It's not that simple." Nick anxiously scratched his forehead.

"Telling him the truth now is better than him finding it out later on."

Nick shook his head. "We have to go. If we go now... he's protected from the truth. He can live a normal life." Before she could protest, he explained, "Someone from the lab already knows and they're not exactly the kind of person to keep a lid on secrets. Now that Greg's back, it's only a matter of time before someone tells him or he figures it out. We can't stay here. We need to go now... at least for a little while, until things die down."

"Honey, you'll be facing the same problems that you left behind when you get back. You're going to have to deal with this one way or another. We didn't teach you to run away from your problems like this. You have to stand up to them, face them head on."

"That's easy for you to say."

"Either way you look at it, both of them have the right to know the truth. Your son has more right than anyone. And as much as I don't like Greg..." The woman confessed, folding her arms across her chest again. "Especially after he left you like that for some career opportunity. Leaving you with this huge responsibility on your own..."

"He's a good man." Nick said with tears in his eyes.

"Abandoning you at the worst possible time. Leaving you and his unborn child for a job..." Realising she was getting off point, Jillian knelt down in front of her son, trying to get him to look her in the eyes. "Either way... Greg... he still has the right to get to know his son. How would you feel if the situation was reversed and Greg was the one with the secret child that he didn't tell you about?"

Nick pursed his lips together, realising how bad it sounded now that he heard it out loud. "I just... I can't deal with all this right now. We need to get away. I'll tell them. I will." He assured is mother, looking into her eyes. "It just has to be on my terms."

"The longer you leave it, the worse it's going to get."

"I know. I wish I had been honest from the start. But you're right, this is my mess, so let me deal with it in my way."

"Alright."

Keeping his back to the wall outside, Evan breathed softly, wondering what it all meant. He pushed himself off the wall as he heard his father getting up, quickly making a beeline for the bathroom before they spotted him and he got into trouble. He clambered up onto his booster stool by the sink, grabbing his toothbrush from the pot beside his father's. He stuck it straight into his mouth without any toothpaste on it, spotting his grandmother appearing in the mirror to check on him.

"Don't forget the toothpaste, sweetheart." She leant against the doorframe, giving him a smile. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Evan pulled the dry toothbrush out of his mouth, shrugging his shoulders together. "Pancakes?" He suggested, waiting for his Grandmother to walk away, before he reached out for the toothpaste. He didn't have any of his front teeth left, but his Grandmother said he had to keep the back ones clean, even if they were going to fall out soon. He ditched his toothbrush back in the pot after a few seconds, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, before he jumped down.

Instead of heading back to his own room, Evan used the opposite door into his father's room, noticing his freshly made bed right away. His bed was always left unmade until at least noon, proving that it hadn't even been slept in last night.

"Baby c'mon, we gotta get you dressed for school." His father appeared behind him, scooping him up into his strong arms. He pressed a playful kiss to his cheek making him giggle as he carried him back to his bedroom, where he had set up his clothes for the day. "Do you want me to drive you to school today?" He set him down on his bedroom floor, taking his favourite superhero pyjamas off for him.

"No." Evan surprised him.

"No, why not?" Nick pulled his t-shirt up over his head, gently brushing his fingertips across the scar running down Evan's chest. He almost lost him so many times during the first few weeks of his life, but he kept on fighting, determined to make it to his first birthday. "Are you sick of me already?"

"I don't want you to."

"Do you want me to pick you up afterwards?" Nick grasped at straws, hating the feeling of being rejected by his six year old son. "We could go to the park, finally take those stabilisers off that bike of yours."

"No." He parroted, reminding Nick of less stressful times when his son was still just a toddler.

"No? Why's that then? You've been beggin' me for weeks to teach you how to ride without them on." After pulling a fresh t-shirt down over his son's head, Nick guided his arms through the sleeves, before he playfully pulled him closer to tickle him. "Hey, don't you wonna spend time with your dear old dad? Don't you love me anymore, huh?" He continued to playfully tickle him, adoring his soft giggles. He stopped to let him catch his breath, putting his arms around his waist. "Ready for a one four three? One." He looked at his adorable little smile beginning to form. "C'mon baby, one..."

Evan gave out a delicate sigh, before he answered, "I."

"Four." Nick lifted his son's chin, looking into his eyes.

"Love."

"Three." Looking into his son's eyes, he couldn't help but see the resemblance to the man he still adored with all his heart. "You." He filled in the blank. "I love you, Evan. Forever and ever and ever and ever." He gave him a playful tickle. "One four three forever."

His child burst into adorable giggles, sporting a grin worth a million dollars. "No... Daddy... Daddy... No..."

"Say it then." He stopped tickling him.

Evan draped his arms around his father's shoulders, giving him the hug the older man desperately needed. "One four three, Daddy."

* * *

Lifting his gaze from the laptop he had been leant over, Greg caught sight of a familiar face making her way through the lab halls, prompting him to climb to his feet to greet her. He hurried for the door like an excited puppy, beaming a wide smile at her as he positioned himself in front of her. "Sara, hey."

"Greg. I didn't know you would be here." Sara put her arms around him, pulling her long lost pseudo brother into her arms. "You're still here then. I thought you would have hightailed it back to San Francisco by now. I'm sure things back there were never as crazy as they are here in Las Vegas."

"Yeah, I've been back for two weeks. Things in San Francisco didn't feel the same... besides, Grissom offered me a job in my favourite city, surrounded by everyone I know, so how could I refuse." He pulled back from her, putting his back to the door frame. "It seems like you're the only one who is actually glad to see me around here though. Catherine's treating me like a rookie who doesn't have a clue. Warrick thinks I abandoned you guys for nothing and has been treating me like trash. He keeps shouting at me for no reason. Grissom will barely say two words to me, and Nick... he couldn't get away from me fast enough."

"Well, I'm glad you're back." Sara smiled widely at him, gently patting his arm. "The others will come around eventually. Things around here, they've been kinda... crazy, even before Nick was abducted and buried six feet under. Anyone tell you that Ecklie decided to split up the team? He moved Catherine, Warrick and Nick to swing shift, leaving the now Detective Sofia Curtis and me on Graveyard. Catherine's only back on this shift again because she was demoted. I bet you didn't have to deal with cases like ours out in San Francisco either."

"No... not so much." He shook his head. "We got the occasional double homicide here and there, but the cases were pretty routine compared to here. I missed the place." The younger man admitted, smiling as he looked around the old lab. "I'm glad I'm not stuck in the lab anymore, but I kinda wish that things could still be a little... familiar, you know? It feels like I've been away a lot longer than six years."

"Yeah. I know." Sara agreed with him, lifting his hand into her own. "It will be you know. It'll take some time, but this place will start to feel a little more like home again soon. I'm just really glad you're back. It hasn't been the same around here since you left." She gave him a sentimental smile. "Hey, so have you got yourself settled into an apartment yet?"

"Oh... yeah, I managed to get one in my old building. It's alright... the apartments seem a little smaller than they used to be, but it suits me just fine. Most of my furniture arrived yesterday. Everything is still kinda in boxes, but it feels a little more like home. My Mom keeps threatening to come over and help me unpack, but I don't want her interfering."

"How is your Mom? Is she okay with you moving back to the city that almost took you away from her?"

Greg smirked, giving her a slight nod. "She's fine. She had more than a few words to say to me when I told her I was moving back to Las Vegas, but it's not like she can really stop me. She thinks I'm old enough to settle down and start a family with someone now, but not old enough to make my own decisions. I keep telling her that my career is the only thing that's ever really mattered to me. This job is the only thing I've ever wanted."

"Then why don't you look happy?" Sara gave him a curious look. "Are you sure that Nick didn't enter the equation when you started weighing up your options to stay here in Las Vegas?" Although he was shaking his head, Sara could tell that the Texan was certainly on his mind. "Have you seen Nick since the hospital?"

"Yeah, he came by the lab yesterday. I think he was here to see Grissom about something. They were in the AV lab for a while. We didn't really get a chance to catch up after though. I caught him by the elevators, he practically tripped over his own foot to get away from me."

"He's bound to be a little jumpy. He was trapped in a coffin underground for hours on end, being eaten alive by fire ants with a bomb underneath him. Personally, I don't think I would have recovered from something like that. I still have nightmares about it and I wasn't even the one in the box." Sara shuddered at the thought, trying not to think too much into it. "So I guess you didn't get a chance to meet Evan yet?"

"Evan?" He gave her a confused look, just as Warrick came racing round the corner.

"Sanders, grab your kit. We've got a murder scene. Fresh one at the house of our suspect. Hurry it up." Warrick looked more than a little annoyed with him, proving more so as the man smiled at Sara beside him. "Hey Sara, you back with us full time now?"

"Yeah, hopefully. Unless Grissom decides to send me on another training course." Sara smiled back at him, secretly grateful that her significant other gave her some time off, but she didn't really need so much of it. She knew that the man was only doing what he thought was best to protect her, but she didn't need protecting from things that tried to take away the only family she had ever really had.

"Good to have you back." Warrick gave her another smile. "Get a move on, Sanders."

"Sure thing... boss." Greg gave the woman beside him a slight smile, before he reluctantly followed in the older man's footsteps. He grabbed his kit, joining the man out by his car. Just like old times, Warrick cranked the radio up full blast so any kind of conversation with the man was completely out of the question. He took charge at the scene, bossing him about as though he had never left.

The worst part of all, Warrick insisted that he do all the dumpster diving, while he took the cleaner interior of the crime scene.

Nearly four hours of dumpster diving later, Greg returned to the lab in his blue CSI overalls, in desperate need of a shower. He dropped to the bench in the locker room to pull his boots off, glancing up to see a shadowy figure stood watching him. He squinted his eyes together trying to make out who it was, feeling a chill running down his spine as he saw the prominent chiselled jaw line of the man he was still very much in love with.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked, shifting himself over on the bench, giving Nick some room to sit down beside him. "Do you make a habit of sneaking up on people in the locker room?"

Nick shook his head, sitting himself down with a leg either side of the bench. He watched the younger man removing his other boot, remembering when his days were filled with watching Greg doing the simplest things. He used to feel as though he wasn't really alive, unless he was there with him. He had felt so empty and alone these past six years, seeing him again was like an instant fix.

"So, what are you doing in the lab? Aren't you still on leave?" Greg pushed himself up from the bench, popping open the buttons to his overalls.

"Forced leave." Nick corrected him.

Greg cracked a smile, dropping the overalls to the floor. He stepped out of them, loosening the belt around his waist. "That doesn't exactly answer my question. Shouldn't you be home recuperating or something... not skulking around in locker rooms?" He dropped his jeans around his ankles, allowing a devilish grin to spread across his lips as Nick couldn't keep his eyes off him. He was already mentally undressing him in his mind, seeing it first hand was almost too much to bear.

"I wasn't skulkin'." He protested.

"Really? So you just happened to pop out when I came in. You weren't waiting for me or maybe someone else to show up and give you a little show." Greg worked open the buttons to his shirt, dropping it to the ground beneath him. He stepped out of his jeans, leaving his socks in the leg holes. Nick's eyes travelled from his ankles to his thighs, lingering over his boxers a moment, before he managed to lift his gaze towards his eyes. "I miss you looking at me like that."

"Like what?" Nick gave the man a curious look.

"Like that. Pure amazement with those big beautiful boyishly innocent eyes of yours." He sat himself beside him, breathing in a deep breath as he studied the man. The laugh lines around his eyes had become a little deeper, but they made his eyes look so much more beautiful. "You look tired."

"I thought you were goin' to say I look old." Nick ran his hands across his jeans, acting as though he was nervous.

"You don't." Greg shook his head. "You're like fine wine, Nicky. You only improve with age. You're still the most gorgeous man alive, even in your prime." He burst into a beautiful explosive grin, making the older man's heart soar. "So, what are you really doing here, Nicky?"

"Now that you're back. I... I wanted to see you." He confessed, gripping his fingers into his knees.

"I knew it." The younger man grinned, grabbing his towel off the bench. "I'm still kinda on shift though. You couldn't wait until after?"

"How would I catch you naked then?" He smirked, adoring the loveable grin plastered across Greg's lips. "No, I have a meetin' with Grissom. Judy told me he's out at the minute and everyone out there was askin' me all sorts of questions about how I was doin', what I was feelin'... how I was sleepin'. I couldn't give them any answers, so I came in here to hide out. I wasn't expectin' to see you in here though... maybe I just got lucky."

Greg gave him a grin, wrapping the towel around his waist. "If you play your cards right you might."

"Down boy, I wanted to see you to talk." He climbed over the other side of the bench, putting some distance between them. He enjoyed the playful banter that they still had, but he had so much to tell him before he could even think about being with him again. "I thought we could catch up. Like you said... clear the air before we start workin' together again. Or workin' together for the first time anyway." Nick decided to follow his mother's advice, even though he was still determined to leave this city behind him. "You were right... talkin' on the phone and talkin' in person aren't the same. I feel as though there's so much we've missed out on not bein' able to see each other and... you know, talk."

The younger man nodded in agreement, adoring the older man's nervousness around him. He felt butterflies in the pit of his own stomach, feeling as though their relationship was just starting out again. "Well, what are you doing tonight? I've got some unpacking to do, but I could use a drink if you're up for it."

Nick shoved his shaky hands into the pockets of his jeans, giving the man a nod. "Alright... a drink."

"Shall I pick you up at your place?"

"No." The man quickly blurted, not wanting Greg to see their son yet. He still had a lot of explaining to do before that could happen. He had to find the right time and right words to tell them both. He still had no idea who he should tell first. His plan of escaping still seemed like the best idea, but he'd have to stay away forever in order for that one to work. "I mean... why don't I pick you up after your shift? We can take a cab."

"Okay." Greg didn't think anything of it, turning towards the showers. He stopped in the doorway, giving Nick a smile. "I really did miss you, Tex."

Pursing his lips together, Nick nodded in agreement, feeling his cheeks flushing slightly. "I missed you too, G." He turned towards the door, reluctantly leaving him behind.

He let the door close behind him, making his way back to the front desk. He waited for Judy to finish up with her call, giving her a slight smile.

"Is he back yet?"

"Mr Grissom?" Judy shook her head, gritting her teeth together. "No, I'm sorry, Mr Stokes. I left him another message. He's still out in the field with Ms Willows, probably tied up with their case. I could send her a message to remind him about your meeting."

"No... it's okay." Nick tapped his fingers against the desk a moment, before he took a step away. "Tell him to forget about it then. I'm goin' home."

"Goodnight." Judy waved him off, grabbing the phone as it started to ring. "Las Vegas Crime Lab."

 _"Judy, it's me. Is he still there?"_

"Oh, Mr Grissom... Mr Stokes? Yeah..." She stood up from her desk, biting her bottom lip as the doors slid closed on the elevator. "No actually, he just left. Do you want me to go after him?"

 _"No, that's alright. I'm downstairs."_ Grissom held his cell to his ear, noticing the elevator doors opening just ahead of him. He watched the younger man bursting out of the open doors as though it was on fire, sensing his panic right away. "I can see him. Thanks, Judy." He snapped the phone shut, making his way towards the man. He cut him off on his route to his truck, seeing the annoyance in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I got held up at our scene. What did you want to talk to me about? Is it about Evan?"

"Here?" The anxious young man pointed towards the cameras monitoring everything.

Grissom glanced up at them a moment, before he motioned over his shoulder towards his silver car. "I'm parked over there." He made a move towards it, stopping when the younger man didn't follow. "Nick, I need to know what's going on. You tell me Evan's yours, but I have a tape confession of you saying otherwise. Which is it?"

"He _is_ mine." Nick ran his fingers back through his hair, before he followed the older man over to his car. They climbed in the front as though they were conducting a shady deal, sitting in silence a moment, while Nick tried to gather the courage to speak. He had never told anyone outside the family before, but his supervisor needed to know, before he got social services involved or something worse like reporting him for child abduction.

"Nick...?" The man started to get impatient.

"He's mine... in the sense that I'm the one who carried him." He blurted it right out, hanging his head low, so he didn't have to look the man in the eyes. It was embarrassing having to admit something like this to his boss. It was hard enough telling his parents. "See... when Greg left... I was really torn up... I chalked up everythin' I was feelin' to bein'... you know... heart broken or somethin'."

"You and Greg... you _were_ together then?" Grissom raised an eyebrow in his direction. "Why does everyone call you a ladies' man?"

"Been askin' myself that same question." The younger man smirked, clasping his hands together so tightly in his lap, his fingers started to turn purple. "When I started literally throwin' up and feelin' as though somethin' was wrong, I went to a doctor. I thought he was goin' to tell me that I had cancer or maybe somethin' worse, but instead he diagnosed me with..." He gulped hard on the lump in his throat, really wishing his boss wasn't the first one he had to tell. "Basically, he told me I had a baby growin' inside me and that's why I felt so crappy all the time." He stuck to the short version.

"Nick, I'm a scientist..."

"I know how it sounds, believe me." He cut him off. "I thought the guy was off his nut when he told me, but after all the tests and the ultra sound... I realised that he wasn't just some nut job. Evan was real and alive and growin'. I could see him movin'... feel him growin'." The man placed one hand on his stomach, still remembering what it felt like to feel his baby move. "I was already five months gone when I found out. I told my family. My Mama and I started plannin' to have the baby adopted once he was born, so he would never have to know... where he came from."

Grissom tightly gripped the steering wheel in his hands, trying to get his head around the unbelievable tale. "How old is Evan?"

"He just turned six in August." He watched his supervisor counting it back, trying to figure out if he noticed anything going on with him during that time. "He was born premature. I was still workin' double shifts, doin' everythin' I wasn't supposed to... Evan was born at twenty nine weeks. He barely weighed two pounds. He couldn't cry, suck, swallow or breathe on his own. They told me his chances of survival were slim."

"You never told us of any of this." Grissom gave him a confused look. "You never told us about him until he was nearly a year old."

"I know." Nick clasped his hands tighter together. "I was just tryin' to keep him alive. I didn't want everyone knowin'... judgin' me... talkin' about him behind my back. He was mine and I had to protect him. I couldn't do anythin' though. I felt completely helpless. The oxygen support they had him on was keepin' him alive, but he kept havin' complications. His lungs were too weak for the machine, so they kept collapsing. He got pneumonia, then his heart started failin'... I thought I was goin' to lose him so many times. He was in hospital on oxygen support until he was seven months old. Every operation or infection always set him back, but he kept on fightin'. I can't lose him." He turned to look at his supervisor. "He's all I have."

Grissom looked down at his hands, counting the dates back to when Greg left. "Evan... he really is Greg's then?"

"Yeah."

"I take it that Greg doesn't know any of this then?"

"No." Nick shamefully shook his head. "I haven't even told Evan. He thinks he had a mother who died givin' birth to him. I know." He saw the look in the man's eyes. "It wasn't my idea. My... father. He started on about how this would shame the family. How it would follow us around for the rest of our lives. That it would define Evan, keep him separate from the other kids. He was four when he first started askin' why he didn't have a mother. I... panicked. I listened to my father. I told him that he did have one, but she died. It's not like I told him her fake name or anythin' like that. He's never really asked about her since then, so I didn't have to."

Grissom blinked his eyes a few times, pursing his lips together as he looked at the younger man in front of him. "The truth will come out, one way or another. Don't you think it's better that they hear it from you? Children aren't as gullible as adults think. Did you ever think that he didn't ask, because he knew you would only lie to him again?"

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! Please review.**

 **~ Holly**


	5. Chapter 4 - Love of my Life - Part 1

**Chapter Four - Love of My Life - Part One**

 _Four in the morning, Nick pulled up outside the airport as slowly as he possibly could, looking at the man beside him as he wedged his truck into a neat little space. He pursed his lips together as he cut off the engine, relishing every last moment with Greg while it lasted. He knew that he really wasn't going that far, but for some reason, it felt like an ending._

 _And not the happy kind._

 _"Do you have everythin'?" He watched Greg unbuckling his seatbelt, grabbing his ticket off the dashboard._

 _"I think so. I'll soon find out, I guess." Greg gave him a slight smile, a smile that almost brought him to tears. "I know we've talked about this a thousand times already, but are you really sure that you want me to do this?"_

 _"I want you to do what makes you happy." Nick assured him, unbuckling himself so he could reach across the gear shaft to hug his boyfriend tightly in his arms. "If I thought you would be happy here, I'd say somethin' to make you stay, but you've had this light in your eyes since you got this opportunity. A light that reminds me of when we first met. Back when you were enthusiastic about every little thing you did." He tightened his arms around the younger man's shoulders, almost crushing him in his embrace. "If you don't do this now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."_

 _Greg sniffled back his tears, burying his head into Nick's shoulders. "I wish you would come with me."_

 _"There's nothin' for me in San Francisco. This is_ your _opportunity. Not mine. I don't want to hold you back." Nick smoothed his hands across the younger man's back, breathing in his familiar scent. He closed his eyes, wishing he could hold him like this forever. "Don't forget about me, okay?"_

 _"How could I forget about you?" Greg murmured into his neck, clutching the man a little tighter. "My beautiful, Tex. One four three forever." He pulled back just enough to kiss him. He tried to enjoy it, but he had a bad feeling inside him that told him this could be his last kiss. "I wanted you to drive me here, because I thought you were the only one who would convince me to stay."_

 _"If you don't want to go, don't go, Greg. You don't need me to make that decision for you." He swept his fingers through Greg's hair, brushing away the younger man's tears from his cheeks. "You're just nervous. This is everythin' you've ever wanted bein' handed to you in a city that you've always dreamed of livin' in. You're gonna get trainin' for the job you've always wanted with some of the best forensic scientists in the country. The only thing for you here is me."_

 _"That's a good enough reason to stay in my books." Greg cracked a gorgeous grin, even though it was shadowed with sadness. He sniffled back his tears again, drying his eyes on the sleeve of the sweatshirt he was wearing. He couldn't take Nick with him, so he chose the next best thing, a sweatshirt that the older man had been wearing since Highschool and still had his scent to it after more than a few washes._

 _Breathing in a deep breath, Greg rather reluctantly reached for the door handle behind him, finally climbing out onto the curb. He made his way round to the back of the truck, standing back as Nick pulled it open for him, fetching his two suitcases that his entire life had fit into._

 _The Texan easily lifted them down for him, before he pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly against his chest for the last time. He held him so tightly, Greg started to feel as though they were one person._

 _"C'mon, you're bein' silly. You said you weren't goin' to do this." Nick pulled back, brushing his hands up and down the younger man's arms. "This is your chance to shine, G. Your chance to show the world what you're made of. I'll always be here for you, but this is a once in a life time opportunity."_

 _"Not really..." Greg shook his head. "I did get that job offer for the lab position in San Diego or there was that offer from the FBI..."_

 _"You know what I mean, smart ass." Nick interrupted him, pressing a playful kiss to his lips. He embraced him again, before he took a step back to hand him his suitcases. "You can't put your dreams on hold for some summer fling."_

 _"A summer fling that turned into thirty nine amazing months together." Greg corrected him, reaching for the handles of his suitcases. He looked into the eyes of the adorable Texan in front of him, pleading him to say something, anything to make him stay. As much as he wanted to become a field CSI, losing the love of his life seemed too painful to bear. "Okay..." He gulped, taking a step back from him. "One or two years tops, then I'll back. It's not really that long if you think about it."_

 _"So don't think about." Nick gave him a smile._

 _"Okay... I'll call you when I land."_

 _"You better."_

 _"I will." Greg promised, taking a small step away from him. It already felt as though he was too far away from, so he resolved the situation by lunging forwards to hug him again. He breathed in his scent to make a memory of it, before he pulled back to look into the Texan's eyes. "One four three forever, Tex."_

 _Nick cracked a wide smile, holding the younger man's face in his hands. "One four three forever, G. A year apart... two years... it doesn't matter how long, I'll always love you." He sealed one final kiss to his lips, before he reluctantly let him go. He watched the younger man gathering up his things, clutching the back of his truck to keep himself from running after him. He followed the sight of his hoodie making its way through the crowd inside. He caught sight of him again going up the escalator, but lost sight of him at the top._

 _He was gone._

Pulling out the sweatshirt from his locker, Greg pulled it down over his head, breathing in its familiar scent. It still had a hint of Nick in its fabric, but it was starting to smell more like his own laundry then anything that had been near the Texan God that had stolen his heart again. He guided his arms through the sleeves, making a few adjustments to rest it snugly over his chest just as Warrick came walking in. He gave him a nod with a cell phone glued to his ear, taking it round the other side of the locker block for some privacy.

"Hey Tina, me again. Just calling to say I'm on my way home now. Case took a little longer than expected to close, but we should still be able to catch that movie you wanted to see. Okay... see you in a few." The man hung up, rejoining Greg round the other side. "Hey, good work today, Greggo."

"I don't know if I'd call three dead people good work." Greg pointed out to him, closing his locker.

"Hey if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have figured out who our murder suspect was and it would be a lot more dead than those three." Warrick patted him on the shoulder, finally coming round to the idea of Greg Sanders, the former lab rat being a field professional. "Are your deep thoughts for our murder suspect biting the bullet back there or his rapist murder victims?"

"This whole case sucks." Dropping back to the bench, Greg pulled his fresh pair of socks on, grabbing his sneakers from underneath. "When Brass interviewed the victim's wife, she told him that her husband hadn't touched a drink in thirty years. He had his wife, three grown children. Four grandchildren. Another on the way. He was running his own landscaping business, giving discounts to OAPs, especially the single ladies." He tied the laces of one shoe, before he lifted his gaze to meet Warrick's. "He had a good life. But it all fell apart in the space of two weeks."

"He thought he was protecting his daughter." Warrick pulled open his locker, grabbing his jacket from inside. "I don't know what I'd do if I had a daughter that was gang raped like that. If I even had one." He kicked the bottom of the wall, wishing this case had gone a different way. "Mr Byrnes found out over the internet that his little girl had been assaulted. He could have come to us, but he decided to take the law into his own hands. He killed two sixteen year old boys, Greg, before he bit a bullet himself."

"You don't think they deserved it?" He gave the older man a curious look. "They were one step away from being serial rapists. You saw that website they had made of all their victims. Do you really want people like that in the world?"

"It doesn't matter." The man shook his head. "Murder is still murder, Greg. We're not supposed to discriminate. It doesn't matter if they were rapists. It doesn't matter if they were honour students or football players. They were murdered. As Grissom would say, an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

"No offence to Grissom, but didn't Ghandi say that one?" He gave him a grin.

"Shut up, Sanders." Warrick presented him with the first smile he had seen from him in the two weeks since he had been back. "You know, it's been alright working with you, Greggo. Not bad for a lab rat anyway."

"Former." Greg piped in. "I haven't been a lab rat in years."

"Yeah, but you'll always be a lab rat at heart." The older man smirked. "Hey, don't let this case get you down. DA is working on charging the other teenagers involved in the rapes. I heard he's gonna try them as adults. Mr Byrnes may have cut his own sentence short, but our rapists aren't gonna get off lightly. The way I see it, it's a win, win situation."

"I'm not sure Hayley Byrnes will agree with you. She lost her father and this kinda thing lives with you for the rest of your life."

"Not your problem." Warrick spoke softly, closing up his locker. He zipped his jacket halfway up, searching the pockets for his car keys, when he caught Greg staring at him. "I know you think that's a cold way of looking at it, but if you let every victim from every case you've ever worked get to you like this, you're not going to be able to help the next one. You'll tear yourself up over all the what ifs and never be of any use to anyone. Didn't they teach you anything in San Francisco?"

Greg gave him a slight smile, seeing his point, but he still felt bad. He grabbed his other sneaker, pulling it on just as his phone vibrated with a text from Nick.

"Hey, I'll see you tomorrow. Unless you need a ride?"

"Oh, no... thank you. I need to give my ear drums a rest." Greg smirked, reading the quick text that told him Nick was downstairs. "Hey Warrick," He caught the man, before he disappeared out of the locker room. "You know, you should tell people about your wife. They're your friends... your family, they'll understand. I'm sure they'd even like to meet her."

"I'm not sure Nick will see it that way." Warrick stuffed his hands into his pockets, watching the lab continuing to run without them. "I let him down once already." He turned to Greg, gently tapping him on the shoulder. "See you tomorrow, Greggo. Good work today."

"Thanks." Greg gave him a smile, waving him off. He climbed to his feet off the bench, making sure his locker was shut tight, before he left himself. He took the elevator down to the parking lot, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt as he searched the lot for Nick's truck. When he found it, he hesitantly reached for the passenger side door, giving Nick a smile as he looked round at him. "Hey, I thought we were getting a cab?"

"Changed my mind." Nick shrugged his shoulders, placing his hands on the steering wheel. "We can take a cab back if you want. Unless you've changed your mind about goin' out for a drink with me." He saw his hesitance to get in. He actually liked seeing nervousness on Greg again, it reminded him of when they first started dating all those years ago.

Greg weighed up his options a moment, before he climbed inside. He pulled his seat belt on, giving the older man a nervous grin as they took off. "Nice to see you have the same truck." He hadn't been in a car with him for six years, but it felt as though he had never left him. "You didn't think about trading her in?"

"Nah, she's my baby." Nick grinned, pulling out of the parking lot. "I'd never trade in my girl."

"Not even for those fancy heated seats?" Greg gave him a grin, feeling something under his foot. He bent down to pick it up, frowning at the sight of the Lego block.

"Oh... I uh... Lindsey. She must have left it in here." He thought of the most logical explanation, taking the brick off Greg's hands to shove it into the glove compartment. He gave the truck a thorough clean before he made his way out tonight, trying to hide any evidence that he had child for now, but he forgot to check under the seats. "Is that my sweatshirt?" He changed the subject.

"Oh... yeah," Greg sheepishly smiled, brushing his hand across the soft material. "You never did come back to collect it, so I figured it was mine now."

"It still looks good on you. Better than it ever did on me."

Smiling a little wider, Greg felt his cheeks flushing with blood, probably lighting up like a pylon. He sat back and enjoyed the ride, enjoining just being close to the man he adored again. He wished that the journey would last forever, but Nick pulled the car into a parking space a few minutes later.

He got the door for him like a perfect gentleman, paying for their first round of drinks, even though he insisted that it was his treat. He then let him slide into the booth first, taking his jacket off, before he slid in beside him. Greg got a waft of his delicious natural Texan scent as he got closer, clasping his hands tightly around his cold beer to try and cool himself down.

"Wasn't this where you brought me for our first date?" Greg remembered the building, but the interior looked slightly different.

"Yeah, it was a diner back then. We had window seats and about five cups of coffee after our double shift." Nick reminded the younger man, glad he wasn't the only one who remembered. "I think we stayed up all night talkin' and gettin' refills."

Greg smiled softly, fond of the memory himself. "So... how have you been, besides the forced leave from the lab, I mean."

"And the trip six feet under?" Nick allowed a small smile to spread across his lips, giving him a slight nod. "It's okay, you can talk about it. I'm okay... really. Sleepin' is hard. I either lay there for hours thinkin' about it over and over. Or I wake myself up with nightmares. I couldn't step in an elevator for the first few weeks. First time I did, the doors slid closed and I started freakin' out. It was like I wasn't in control... I completely freaked out this woman I was ridin' with. She ran out quicker than me when the doors finally opened."

Greg presented him with another smile, wishing he could put his arms around him. "You can ride them now though?"

"The metal ones, yeah. Not the glass ones at the mall or those turnin' door things at the entrance. They remind me too much of..." Nick shuddered at the thought of being trapped inside one of them. "I can't lie on my back without thinkin' about it anymore. The worst part is that I feel like no one trusts me anymore. They think I'm gonna break at any moment. My Mama has been stayin' with me since... she can't go five minutes without askin' me how I am. What I'm feelin'. It's drivin' me nuts. I already feel like a complete basket case, even without her on my case."

Greg pursed his lips together, gulping softly as he looked into the older man's eyes. "I knew you looked tired. I mean you look good... but you still look tired."

"Thanks, G." He smiled softly, taking a quick sip of his beer. He lifted his gaze to meet Greg's, looking at the spikes of natural sandy brown hair on his head. "You look good yourself. You look more... mature. Is that your natural hair colour?"

"Oh, yeah." He ran his fingers back through his hair. "My supervisor in San Francisco didn't exactly appreciate my style like Grissom did. I had to dull down the Greg vibe to a more professional one. He didn't even appreciate my music or anything either. We got along after a few years together though. He's nothing like, Grissom... but we got along okay." He awkwardly sipped his beer, wishing he had never brought that part up. How was he supposed to tell him that he had been seeing his supervisor off and on for the past two years?

"And I thought you said you'd never change who you are just to fit in."

Greg hated that Nick knew him so well. He leant back against the booth, shrugging his shoulders together a little. "Like you said, I had to mature. Black spiked hair, flamboyant t-shirts and graffiti jeans didn't exactly go down well with the new supervisor. It doesn't mean I changed who I am." He caught Nick giving him a knowing look. "So I got a haircut, dulled down the Greg vibe a little and started to act my age... it doesn't mean that I changed who I was. I'm still Greg. I'm still me."

Nick presented him with a smile this time, before he gave him a more curious look. "Why'd you come back here then?" He asked, trying to figure out the younger man's intentions.

"I missed Las Vegas. I missed my friends." Greg shrugged his shoulders together again, looking up at Nick in front of him. "I missed you. When I got Sara's call, telling me that you had been abducted... I realised that I had missed my chance. I regretted leaving you behind every day. I never wanted to break your heart like that. We said we'd keep in touch, see each other as much as we could, but we didn't. When you refused every invitation over... I assumed that meant that you didn't forgive me. To tell you the truth, I didn't really forgive myself. I broke up with the one guy who loved me for exactly who I was. When I got that call, I thought I had lost you for good."

"You didn't lose me... you just... you left me behind." He gave him a small smile.

Reaching out for the older man's hand, Greg gently stroked his fingertips across the back of Nick's, looking up into his eyes. "Ever since I left you at that airport, I've felt this empty hole in my chest. I thought about turning back a thousand times." He weaved his fingers through Nick's, clutching his hand tightly. "You know that movie Family Man with Nicholas Cage?"

Nick shook his head slightly.

"He's a rich investment broker with a really nice apartment, sports car and he has a new woman in his bed every night. He thinks he's living the dream in this life that's created for himself, then one day he wakes up and he's living in the suburbs with a wife and two kids, a dog and he drives a minivan. He thinks that it completely sucks at first. He has no money, a crappy job at his father in laws tire store and he doesn't know how to be in this role as a father and a husband."

"Never seen it." Nick shook his head, wondering what he was getting at.

"Oh... you gotta. Anyway, this Jack Campbell guy, that's Nicholas Cage's character in the movie. He thinks he has everything. The perfect single life. He's on his way up, doing everything he wanted to do, until he's forced into this family life that he didn't want and he'll do anything to get back to his old life. After a while in this new life though, he starts to figure out why he made those decisions and not the ones he made in his single life. He starts to fall for his wife, the woman that he left at the airport in his other life. It's the ultimate story of what if you made different choices. What if you said yes instead of no. What if you got a second chance. The whole time I was in San Francisco, I kept thinking about all the what ifs in my life. What if I never left you that day being the biggest."

"Really," The Texan gulped softly, hoping that Greg didn't know before he had the chance to explain it to him. "Is that why you're back?"

"Yeah... I mean, maybe. I think the thought of losing you forever made me realise that I don't want to be single and alone, working my dream career in a city that I kinda love. I want to be with the man I love, in the city I adore. I miss not being able to see you whenever I want. I miss not being able to tell you things or listen to you talk. I don't want to be Grissom's age, wondering why I'm still alone. Being with you was the best time in my life. I was an idiot to ever give that up."

Nick's lips burst into an uncontrollable grin, forcing him to look away as he started to blush.

"I love it when you smile. I haven't seen you smile like that in six years." Greg grabbed his beer, taking a quick swig. He wet his parched throat, wishing they could skip the formalities of their awkward first date back together. "I know it's not my place to ask... but are you... you know, seeing anyone?"

Grabbing the neck of his beer bottle, Nick shook his head, realising this was his chance. The moment with him was so perfect though, he didn't want to ruin it with the lies he had been keeping from him.

"No... I... haven't been with anyone since... well, since you. When you left me at the airport, I had this feelin' inside like I knew I was never goin' to see you again, but the thought of bein' with anyone else... it felt like I would be cheatin' on you. I had this image of us bein' together for the rest of our lives, I kinda held onto it... even after you were gone. I wish I had gone with you." He confessed. "I never wanted to force you to stay for me, because I wanted you to be happy, but bein' here on my own... I was miserable."

"Not once in six years?" Greg gave him a curious look, starting to feel the guilt rising.

"Not once." He shook his head, smiling as he felt Greg's fingers weaving through his own. "Who am I goin' to meet that could top my first love? You know with our jobs it's kinda hard to meet anyone that wants to build a long lastin' relationship with you anyway. Not to mention the fact that before you, there were no other guys in my life. Like you said, I was a sexually repressed Texan with no experience under my belt. I was shakin' like a leaf the first time you kissed me. I wouldn't even talk to you after we... you were the first. I don't know how to date other guys. I don't think I even want to. Besides, I don't like guys... I like you."

For the longest moment, the two of them sat gazing longingly into one another's eyes. While neither one of them wanted to rush into anything so soon into their rekindled relationship, they had to remind themselves that they had already been together three years prior to this reunited date.

"After six years, you're still wearin' my sweatshirt. Aren't you supposed to get rid of everythin' from past relationships?"

"I thought about it, but I couldn't really part with it." Greg smiled softly, glancing down at it. "I almost lost it a few years back. I left it on the back seat of my car. My car got stolen and the only thing I was upset about was this. My friend on the force found the car and my robber kindly decided to leave this on the back seat. He didn't mind taking everything else out though. My laptop being the major one."

Suddenly, Greg placed his hand on Nick's cheek, leaning closer to him, so he could practically feel his heart pounding against his own. He held him there for what seemed like a life time, his breath quivering from his hungry lips. He finally took in a deep breath, brushing his fingers down his cheek.

"Nick," He said in a loud whisper, tempting him closer. He had a feeling boiling inside of him that he couldn't ignore. Instead of saying what he wanted to say to the man, he closed the gap between them, finally reuniting their lips that hadn't touched in six years.

It was pure heaven.

Nick felt as though he was seventeen again, finally living out his fantasies and making out with the hottest guy in school, rather than pretending he was interested in girls. He let all his worries and regrets go, closing his eyes as their tongues danced around one another in perfect harmony and their hands pawed through one another's hair.

Why did he ever give this up?

* * *

 **Thank you for reading. Please review!**

 **~ Holly**


	6. Chapter 5 - Love of my Life - Part 2

**Chapter Five - Love of My Life - Part Two**

An hour or so later into their first date together, they clambered into a cab after a few more beers and a lot more kissing, giving the driver directions to Greg's new apartment. Nick didn't know what he was doing. He didn't care anymore, he just wanted to be with him. He knew he should tell him. He knew that he couldn't keep this from him forever, but for now, he just wanted it to be the two of them again.

"Fifth floor. Didn't you used to live on the third?" Nick stopped beside the younger man, watching him searching for his keys to unlock his apartment door. He chuckled softly as he drunk partner head butted the door in his attempt to slot the keys into the lock. "You a'ight there, G?"

"Yesss." Greg slurred, raising his keys to eye level. "It was the wrong one anyway. My old apartment where we first..." He playfully wiggled his eyebrows at the man. "That's on the third floor, there's an uptight family in there that won't move. This is the only one they had available. Good thing I'm not afraid of heights." He jammed the right key in the lock, springing the door open with a smile plastered across his lips. He stumbled back against the door as Nick lunged forwards to reunite their lips, hungrily kissing him like an animal. "Mmm..." He purred like a cat, arching his chest off the door for a big deep breath. "Wow... my lips feel numb."

Nick smacked his lips together, giving his lover a playful smile. "I miss kissin' you."

"Good. I miss you kissing me, so that works out nicely." Greg peeled himself off the door, rubbing his back where the door handle had caught him. "Well... this is it. My apartment."

"It's... nice." Nick glanced at the boxes against the wall, the bubble wrap and packing paper thrown all around the room and the sofa still wrapped in shrink wrap. He burst into a giggle, shaking his head at the younger man. "It's... really bad. What did you pay for this shithole?"

"I know." Greg laughed, drunkenly slapping his hand against his leg. "Welcome to my humble shithole. It was the only one left in the building and I couldn't be bothered to look elsewhere."

"Do you have a bed at least?"

"I got a mattress. Brand new. The bed frame is going to take an extra week to arrive, so I've kinda been sleeping on the floor." Greg smirked, pushing the door to his apartment shut. He attempted to throw his keys on the side, but he threw too high, sending them flying towards a box full of packing peanuts. "Whoops... pft, I'll find em later." He blew it off. "This way!" He bellowed, leading the way to his bedroom.

Nick stumbled into the door frame of his bedroom, looking at the cardboard box beside the mattress on the floor, serving as Greg's bed side table with his alarm clock and phone charger sat on top. He looked around for anything else, but he didn't even have drapes or anything up against the large windows.

"Well, it's one of the nicest shitholes I've ever been in."

"Wait... wait..." Greg squeezed past him, giggling softly as he pointed to the mattress on the floor behind him. "This is the best part of the room. Queen sized. Memory foam... and all that. I was going to go for the King size, but the bed frame would have taken up the whole room. I would have had to wedge it up against one side of the room, just to get a dresser and things in here."

"God I've missed your ramblin's."

Cupping Greg's face in his hands, Nick pushed him up against the wall, merging their lips together. He slid his hand beneath the younger man's shirt, feeling goose bumps prickling their way down his spine. The taste of his lips. The feel of his smooth skin. The sensations coursing through his veins. It felt as though it was six years ago again and nothing had changed.

When Greg tried to do the same though, he flinched back, tugging his shirt back into place.

"I'm sorry... did I...?" Greg looked at him confused, worried he had hurt him. "Are you...?"

"I'm fine." The man nodded slightly, keeping his hand on his stomach.

He had completely forgotten about the scar from his c-section. Greg knew every bump and scar on his body, so he was bound to notice the addition of the new one cut straight across his stomach, even if he was drunk. He had been able to hide if from everyone at work since it was so low on his abdomen. He thought they would notice or find out a few weeks ago after he was rescued, but the doctors and nurses respected his privacy, keeping them all out of the way.

"What's wrong then?" The younger man kept his back to the wall, giving Nick a moment. "Are you going to throw up?" He cringed a little. He didn't like throw up. He avoided going anywhere near it at all costs. "The bathroom is through there." He pointed towards the window, quickly changing direction as Nick gave him a confused look. "It's in the apartment, I know that. Don't you want to... you know... because I thought..."

"No... I do." Nick assured him, wishing the scar would just disappear for a moment. He knew he'd need an explanation if he saw it. He couldn't think of one off the top of his head and the truth right now could ruin everything for him. "I just... things are different now. It's been a few years since we last... you know."

"You still look in shape to me." Greg cracked one of his usual jokes, making the man smile. "C'mon, you're still a catch. What about me? I'm in my thirties now."

"That's not what I mean. I really wish it were that simple..."

"Nicky, I love you for who you are, not what you look like. I always have. You do have a very... very nice..." He lost his trail of thought, holding one finger up to Nick. "You're beautiful outside and in to me. I haven't seen all your insides, but I'm sure they look... nice."

Nick couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head at the man. "You're totally wasted, G. You don't even know what you're sayin'."

"Yeah, I do. Your looks are amazing but it's all the inside stuff that is more important." Taking a step forwards, Greg carefully placed his hands on the man's hips, giving him a slight smile as he teased his fingers beneath his shirt. He pulled him in for a kiss before he had time to retreat, barely feeling the scar as he trailed his fingers round to his spine. He loosened the buttons to his shirt, slipping it off his shoulders in one clean sweep. "Just as I thought... delicious." He gave him a playful grin.

Before Greg could examine him closer, Nick slid his arms around him, lowering him to the mattress on the floor. He hungrily devoured his lips as he crashed on top of him, feeling completely overwhelmed. While the younger man's body lacked the definition of any real muscles, he was surprisingly strong. He easily managed to reverse their positions, perching himself on the older man's hips.

"It's been a while since I've had a man underneath me. It feels good." Greg exclaimed, almost loud enough for their neighbours to hear. "Still wonna do this, Tex?" He asked, focusing all of his attentions on the Texan's eyes.

"Yeah." Nick replied, his voice thick with desire. "You are all I've ever wanted. You look amazin'."

"And I'm not even naked yet." Greg brightened every shred of doubt he had with his sunniest smile, before he bent to kiss him again. His mouth was almost raw from their evening of passion so far, but he wasn't about to push him away after waiting for him for so long. He sat himself up to work open the younger man's jeans, tracing delicate kisses over every little cluster of mole that he could find, decorating the younger man's body. He made it his mission to find every one, fuelling his desire for him further.

Lifting his old sweatshirt up over Greg's head, Nick forced his arms upwards, trapping him in the confides of the fabric a moment to take advantage of his lips.

"I can feel the blood running down my arms."

Rescuing his partner from the sweatshirt, Nick tossed it over his shoulder, admiring his reward. "You're still cute, even at thirty." He assured him.

"Thirty one." Greg corrected him, flapping his arms about to let the blood drain back into them. "Thirty two in just a few months and I already know exactly what I want."

"Let me guess." The Texan slid his hands beneath the younger man's t-shirt, reclaiming his body. He felt every scar decorating his back from the lab explosion, still perfectly in place as though nothing had changed over the years.

From the sound of every delicate whimper and moan escaping his lips, it became abundantly clear to Nick that the younger man hadn't been on the receiving end of anything even remotely pleasurable since he left him. He was too afraid to ask him earlier if he had been with anyone else in the six years they had been apart, but now, it didn't even matter.

Greg was finally back in his arms.

"Nick." The younger man delicately moaned, indicating that he had finally found that sweet spot that made Greg's toes curl. Their bodies perfectly entwined, anticipating the others movements before they even made them. He soon had Greg chanting his name, clutching him ever so tightly as their bodies moved in perfect harmony.

Again he asked himself, why did he ever let him go?

Crashing back against the mattress in a heap, Greg panted heavily, wiping the sweat back from his forehead. He immediately grinned as his bed mate landed on top of him, resting his head against his shoulder. "Wow... was it always like this?" He panted, feeling every inch of him tingling with pleasure. "if that's what drunk sex feels like, I can't wait for sober sex." He kissed the top of Nick's head, running his fingers through his messy hair.

"Better than I remembered." His bed mate spoke softly, barely conscious on top of him.

"Oh yeah?" Greg playfully ruffled his fingers through his hair, kissing him again. It almost felt as though no time had passed between them, but his love for him had definitely grown. He could see a whole future with Nick now. He was willing to give up everything else in his life, trading them all for the life with Nick that deep down he had always wanted.

"Definitely." Nick lifted his gaze to look at him. "The department shrink kept tryin' to put me on sedatives and things to help me relax. This is the most relaxed I've felt in weeks."

"Are you still seeing the department shrink?"

"No, I finished my sessions the other week." Nick wiped the sweat from his forehead, gazing into the younger man's beautiful eyes. "He's recommendin' me for active duty. As soon as Grissom agrees to it, I should be back on graveyard shift with you guys."

"That's great." Greg smiled, realising he'd be able to see him every day now. "So, I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other then." He traced his fingertip across his partner's bare shoulder, watching goose bumps forming across his arm. "You're so beautiful." He caressed the side of Nick's face, feeling as though his heart was about to burst with his love for him. "I feel as though I haven't seen you forever. Looking at you two dimensionally really sucks after being with the real thing for three years."

"With yah on that one." He agreed, adoring the look in Greg's eyes.

The younger man swept his fingers back through Nick's hair, smiling as he leant close enough to capture his partner's real life lips between his own for a much gentler kiss this time. His mouth was still raw from their earlier passion and the effects of the alcohol were starting to wear off, making him sleepy.

After hours of rekindling their long lost relationship, Greg's stomach started growling with hunger. He reluctantly pried himself away from the delicious man in his bed, struggling to untangle himself from his partner's body and the bed sheets they had rolled through, before he could scramble to his feet.

"Hey, where you goin'?" Nick propped himself up on his elbows, giving him a smile. "You bored of me already?"

"Bored? Of my favourite toy, never." He shook his head with a cheeky grin plastered across his lips. "I'm hungry. I need refuelling. You want anything?"

"No, I'm good." Nick dropped his head back to the mattress. "Hurry up, Sanders!"

At his partner's request, Greg raced to the kitchen, tearing open the door to the fridge. He scanned the shelves, groaning as it was completely spotless. He found half a tub of cookie dough ice cream in the freezer, setting it down on the side. He searched through the cupboards, loading up his arms with pop tarts, twinkies, candy bars and a jar of peanut butter, before he hurried back to his bedroom. He dropped the spread from his arms between him and his partner, sealing a quick kiss to his lips.

"You still get cravin's for junk food, I see." The Texan smirked, covering himself with Greg's sheets to hide his scar. "You know, you gotta eat healthy as you get older, G. Not that you're not... completely gorgeous." He lost his trail of thought, looking over his partner's body.

"I can't help it. You wear me out." Greg tore open the wrapper to the twinkie, stuffing the whole thing straight in his mouth. He started mumbling something with his mouth full, only getting a confused smile as a response. He held one finger up to Nick while he swallowed, licking the extra from his teeth. "If it makes any difference, I've been eating healthier... prior to this moment. I haven't had a pot noodle in years. I actually cook now too. I think I make a mean pot roast and my last lasagne was heaven. I could treat you one day if you want."

"I look forward to it." Nick grinned, dropping his head back to the mattress. He watched Greg stuffing another twinkie into his mouth, wishing he could freeze this moment in time. He had imagined Greg being with him a thousand times over, but nothing even remotely compared to the real thing. He felt as though he should pinch himself to make sure he was awake, but Greg's thigh against his own was enough to reassure him.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking." Greg popped off the lid to his ice cream, crawling closer to his bed mate. "For a moment there, you looked completely free of thought. Almost happy. Like you were my Nicky again. The one I left behind all those years ago. Looking at you now... I can see that the worry is back." He gently smoothed his finger across the man's forehead, giving him a slight smile. "Do you still trust me, Nicky?"

Nick hesitated a moment, before he answered with a nod. "I trust you more than I trust myself."

"Then why do I get the feeling that you're not telling me something? I feel like you're watching your words around me, like you're afraid that you'll slip up and tell me something. I know I'm the one who hurt you, so you don't exactly owe me anything. Maybe a beating if you want. As long as you don't bruise my pretty face." He gave him a cheeky grin. "But I have this distinct feeling that there's something you're not telling me. Obviously because I'm the asshole that crushed your heart, but you have to tell me. It's gonna kill me if I don't know."

Licking his lips, Nick opened his mouth to speak, just as some ice cream from Greg's pot dripped onto his stomach. "Ah... man, that's cold."

"Oh, opps. Sorry." Greg giggled softly, setting the pot down. "Here, let me fix that." He gave him a cheeky smile, before he got down on his elbows. He teased his tongue across the older man's vulnerable flesh, licking up the dripped ice cream from his stomach. "Mm..." He purred, looking up into Nick's eyes. "You know, it actually tastes better like this. I might just have to dump the whole pot on you."

"No. Don't you dare, Sanders." Nick forced his arms up, trying to stop him from grabbing the pot.

"Oh, but you taste so good." Greg mischievously giggled, easily wriggling out of the man's arms. He crawled towards the edge of his mattress, trying to squirm away from Nick's reach. He grabbed the pot of ice cream, scrambling to his feet with it, only to get tackled into the food pile on his stomach by an equally delicious Texan. "Ow... shit... I think I got a pop tart in my groin." He rolled himself over beneath his partner's body, grinning as he looked at his lips. "I give up. Eat me alive if you want." He panted, raising his arms over Nick's head, pulling him as close as he could. "You know I can never beat you."

"God I've missed wrestlin' with you." Nick beamed a million dollar smile back at him, hearing the crunch of the food beneath Greg's body. "I think we messed up your new mattress."

"Wouldn't be the first." He giggled softly, playfully brushing their noses together. He arched his chest up suddenly, feeling an unwelcome sensation beneath him. "Oh... that's cold... yep... there's ice cream up my butt. Ah... that's really cold." He squirmed beneath him.

"Now you know how it feels." The Texan gave out a delicious laugh, before he let him up."Do you want me to get that for you?"

"I got a better idea." Climbing to his feet, Greg grabbed the man's hands, catching him off guard as he pulled him to his feet. "This place might be small, but the walk in shower is _huuuggge_. I recon we can both fit inside and play out your locker room fantasy for old time's sake." He emphasised the word 'huge' just like their son would have done, stopping Nick dead in his tracks.

He pulled back on his hand, stopping the younger man from pulling him any further.

Feeling the resistance, Greg turned to look at his partner, realising he had that familiar closed off expression again that he had the first day he saw him back at the lab. "Uh oh... what did I say this time? You know you can't trust my drunken tongue. I blurt out anything when I'm drunk. Like my sexual fantasy of being with Grissom."

"Greg... I... can't." Reality suddenly came crashing down around him. Not even the reminder of Greg's weird thoughts could snap him out of it this time. "I... I have to... I have to... be somewhere."

"What? Why? Why do you have to go now? What did I say?" Greg looked at him wide eyed, completely stunned by the one eighty he just pulled on him. "What just happened? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something..."

"No... it's... it's not you." Nick shook his head, bending to grab his jeans and shirt off the floor. He straightened up, holding them close against his chest. "I really can't explain it right now, but I have to go."

"Is this payback?" He felt his heart sinking in his chest. He didn't think that Nick was capable of doing something like this, but he had been away for a long time, a lot could have changed. "Did I have this coming? This is your way of getting your revenge on me. You reel me back in, sleep with me two or three times, use my vulnerable body anyway you want then high tail it out of here. I know that revenge is best served cold, but ice cream up the butt cold is just cruel."

Nick couldn't help but smile, reaching a hand out for Greg's cheek. "I didn't do this to hurt you."

"Then please just tell me what I did wrong." He pleaded with him. "Is it the Grissom thing? It's just a fantasy really, everyone has fantasies. It must have something to do with him crushing me with that blow up doll at the lab. You know I'm powerless to men in control. Even Ecklie has made a few guest star roles in my fantasies."

"Greg, please... stop." Nick held his hands up to silence him, fearful of what might come out of his mouth next. "It's not the weird fantasy thing... although we should really talk about that one day. It's just... I have to go." He pulled his jeans up his legs, fastening them into place. "Baby, I love you more than anythin' in the world. You gotta know that I would never hurt you like that." He brushed his thumb across his partner's lips, looking into his big beautiful eyes. "It's not payback or any kind of revenge. I don't hold any kind of grudge against you, so I have no reason to take revenge on you. I just... I really have to go." He leant forwards, capturing his lips for a quick kiss.

It was over too fast, so he dove in for another, then another, sinking back into his arms.

"Nick, please stay." Greg held onto him, their lips still touching. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. Just talk to me. I won't talk, I'll just listen. I swear."

"Greg..." He brushed his thumb across his jaw, feeling the stubble of his beard beginning to come in. "I can't. I have to go. I'll explain later... I swear... I really, really want this. I'm just... I'm tryin' to do what's right."

"And the right thing to do is leave me here alone with ice cream up my crack?"

"You're never gonna get tired of sayin' that are you?" Nick smiled at him, holding him close for a moment. "Hey, remember our first trip to my parents ranch? I played you off as my best friend to them with no place to go for thanksgivin', so they wouldn't know you were actually my boyfriend. You didn't like the idea of not bein' able to touch me or say you loved me around them. You invented that secret code on the plane ride over to say 'I love you' to each other when we were around them, so they wouldn't know."

"Yeah... of course," He shrugged his shoulders together. "One four three. It's what my Papa Olaf always used to say to me when I was a kid. I thought your father caught onto us when I practically shouted it across the field to you. Your sister burst into giggles, but he just looked confused."

"He thought you had tourette's." Nick smirked. "Only instead of swearin', he thought you just shouted out random numbers."

"What about it?" Greg gave him a confused look.

Smiling softly, Nick wished he only knew how much that meant to him, even now. It was how he and his son said 'I love you' to each other since Evan started talking, without anyone else knowing. His mother still had no idea what it meant and it gave him a sense of security, like Greg was still there.

"My point is... I... one four three forever, G. I'll always love you. Not even a broken heart will make me stop lovin' you... but I really have to go. I will explain one day... I just... I need you to trust me for now. I love you. I never want to hurt you. I just need you to trust me."

"I trust you." The younger man nodded, looking into his eyes. "One four three forever too. I trust you with my life." He took a step back, letting him past him. He felt his heart sinking in his chest as Nick hurried to the door, barely pulling his shirt all the way on, before he was outside. Greg put his back to the wall in his bedroom once he was gone, looking around at the evidence of the room that proved that this really happened, even though right now it felt like just another fantasy.

Minus Grissom or Ecklie's guest starring roles.

Thankfully.

Greg slid down the wall, pulling his knees close to his chest. He had missed his Texan fix for so long. Six years of waiting and it was over in an instant. He felt withdrawals already. Shaky hands, tears in his eyes and the feeling of being torn apart inside.

He didn't enjoy the feeling of a broken heart one bit.

* * *

After leaving Greg's apartment, Nick found himself stranded outside, remembering that his truck was all the way across town and he was still too drunk to drive. He buttoned his shirt the rest of the way down his chest, finding his wallet in his pocket, but no sign of his phone. He didn't even have the belt to jeans. He vaguely remembered Greg throwing it over his shoulder as he striped him naked, but he didn't pick it up on the way out. He quickly patted down his jeans, anxiously biting his bottom lip as there was no sign of his phone and no way of calling himself a cab.

He wasn't even wearing shoes. He was stood bare footed on the side walk like someone who had just been mugged.

He debated walking home as he was or returning upstairs with his tail between his legs, staying put for what felt like an eternity, before he made his way back into the building behind him. He hurried up the five flights of stairs to Greg's apartment, breathing out a deep breath as he knocked on the door.

A few minutes later the door creaked open, revealing Greg stood in the gap with a towel wrapped around his waist. His silky smooth skin was still dripping wet from his shower and his hair was adorably soaked to one side. It was almost too much to bear.

"I..."

"I know." Greg cut him off before he had a chance to speak, grabbing the misplaced cell phone off the side. He placed it in Nick's open palm, giving him a slight smile. "Always so predictable. Any excuse to come back and see me." He pointed towards his shoes on the floor. "You might be needing those too."

"I really did forget this time."

"Uh huh." He didn't believe him, hooking his thumbs into the towels around his hips. "So, are you off for real this time?"

"Yeah..." Nick reluctantly tore his eyes away from Greg's delicious body, looking into his eyes instead. "You look amazin', G." He leant forwards to steal a quick kiss from his lips, disappearing down the stairs, before Greg even opened his eyes. He resisted the temptation to stay with Greg all night, returning home to his judgemental mother and sleeping baby boy instead.

The moment he stepped through the front door, his mother treated him as though he was sixteen years old again. He grabbed himself a bottle of water from the fridge, listening to her asking all the usual questions. Where he had been. Who he was with. Why he didn't call to say he would be late. Why he was drinking with the sedatives he was taking. He didn't think he still needed his mother's permission at the age of thirty six to go out and see an old friend, but she seemed to think she was in charge while she was staying with him.

"Mama please, stop yellin'. I'm sorry I didn't call, but you knew I was goin' out. You're the one who offered to babysit." Nick reminded her, taking a quick swig from his bottle of water. He recapped it a moment later, holding it to the side of his head. The affects of the alcohol were starting to wear off, leaving him with a feeling of dizziness. "How is he anyway?"

"Evan? He's fine... sleeping. He wouldn't eat his vegetables at dinner. Iron man made it into the bath tub with him and he jumped down from that damn tree house again. One of these days, he's going to break his leg. Why'd you put that thing so high up? He went down without a fuss though." Jillian folded her arms across her chest, watching him chugging the water as though he had been walking through the desert.

"There's grass underneath and it's not that high." Nick scowled at her for taking another pop of his parenting. "Just admit it, you think I'm a shit parent."

"Nicholas, language." She immediately hissed at him, waving her hand in front of her face as she smelt the stench of alcohol on his breath. "Are you sure you want to go back to Texas?" She changed the subject.

"Yeah." He nodded, sitting himself down at the counter. He rested his head in his hands, trying to stop the room from spinning. "I'm not goin' for Dad. I'm not even goin' for you. I've made a plan to tell Evan this weekend. Besides, it's just for a few days. I've cleared it with Grissom already. He said I can start up my shift when we get back. I'm gonna tell Evan this weekend." Nick rambled, wondering if any of that made sense to his mother as she seemed to be giving him a confused you. "What do you want me to say? You were right... I've been lyin' to him about everythin'. I don't want to lose him. If he's okay with it... I want him to meet, Greg."

"Are you sure?"

"Weren't you the one who told me that they both need to know?" He pointed out to his mother, pushing himself to his feet. "Seein' Greg today, I realised how much pain I could cause by keepin' them both in the dark, especially if they find out from someone else. Greg's a CSI. He can already sense that somethin' is up with me... if I tell them on my own terms, maybe I can soften the blow a little. I have to explain it to Evan first, before I even try to deal with Greg though. As long as you can keep Dad off my back this weekend... I should be able to tell him."

"You were with Greg?" Jillian showed her disapproval with her expression, watching her son grabbing himself another bottle of water. "What exactly were you doing with Greg?"

"That is none of your business. I'm a grown man." He pointed out to her in politest way possible. "I know you hate havin' a gay son, Mama, but you could at least stop turnin' your nose up at me like I disgust you. I didn't choose this. I was born this way. Greg is the man I love. Evan is our son. If you hate me bein' like this then you might as well get out of our lives like Dad did. You can wish me dead from Texas like he is."

"Don't you dare." She knew her son was drunk, but she wouldn't take that kind of talk from anyone. "Stop making out like you're the victim in this, we tried everything we could to accept this new part of you."

Nick threw his head back in laughter, shaking his head at his mother. "You've done everythin' _but_ try to accept me for who I am. I told you I was gay when I was fourteen, you sent me to that friggin' camp. You used to write those bible verses on little notes in my lunch box tellin' me how wrong and disgustin' I was. When I got pregnant with Evan, that was the final nail in the coffin for Dad. It was bad enough havin' a gay son but a freak as a son..."

His mother slapped him square across the face. "Don't you dare."

Nick held his jaw in his hand, looking at the tears burning in his mother's eyes. "I told you I was gay because I trusted you. You made me hate myself. You told me that you won't have a gay son. I was fourteen when you first disowned me. You disowned your grandson when he was still growin' inside me. Why are you really back here Mama? It's not like you really care about us. Are you fillin' his head with hateful words from your God too?"

Nick felt himself shaking as he finally said what he had always wanted to say to his mother. He was always completely respectful to her, even when she was telling him how wrong his life was. He had never even raised his voice to her before, but something about the buzz of the alcohol in his veins and the torture he had been put through a few weeks ago stopped him from holding himself back.

Instead of giving him an answer, Jillian turned down the hallway behind her, locking herself away in the guest bedroom where she had been staying.

Shaking his head in his hands, Nick ditched the water bottle on the side, making his way down the hall to his son's bedroom. He leant across the bed to press a kiss to his sprawled angel's forehead, tucking his covers around him to keep him warm. The last thing he wanted was to lose him, but he couldn't let Evan face all the lies and secrecy that he had to growing up.

He was so sure that telling him the truth was the right thing to do, but what if he couldn't accept him like the rest of his family? What if he didn't like Greg or worse, what if Greg didn't even want a child and left them alone again?

It didn't matter either way. He had to face his fears and tell them the truth.


	7. Chapter 6 - Achy Breaky Heart

**Chapter Six - Achy Breaky Heart**

 _Waking to the morning sun pouring in through the window, Greg brushed the sleep from his eyes, feeling the weight of something against his chest. It took him a moment to realise that the weight was coming from another being. He brushed his fingers back through their hair, dropping his jaw slightly as he saw the face of a certain gorgeous Texan against him. He still had his eyes closed, filling Greg's nostrils with his delicious musky scent._

 _His lips cracked into a wide smile as he remembered the events of the night before. They were both still fully clothed, disappointing him a little, but at least they didn't rush into anything so soon into their relationship._

 _He estimated that this was date number six, almost number seven._

 _Number one being the coffee shop, where they talked for hours and hours about anything and everything. Number two was the spare movie tickets that Nick just happened to come across. The movie wasn't that great, but he actually held his hand in the darkness of the theatre and didn't freak out about it. Three and four were a little harder to remember. He knew that number three was in a new bar on the furthest edge of town. Nick was still nervous that they might get found out by their co-workers, so they couldn't go anywhere local. He remembered they had a blast playing darts and snooker though. Two sports that he had never even played before._

 _After that things were a little hazy. He couldn't even remember where number four was, but there was definitely alcohol involved._

 _"Seven." Greg smiled to himself, remembering that date number six was their sticky southern fried chicken date. They spent the whole night licking the delicious sauce off their fingers at the new barbeque shack in town, making date number seven last night's date. Nothing special just pizza and beers at Greg's apartment with a rental movie that they barely watched. He didn't know what time they made their way into his room last night, but the fact that Nick actually spent the night with him was progress._

 _"Stop starin' at me, G. I can't sleep if you stare at me." The older man suddenly shifted himself, his voice barely a whisper. He rolled himself over onto the bed beside Greg, embracing his bed mate in his arms. "What time is it?"_

 _"I don't know." Greg pulled away just enough to turn his alarm clock to face him. "Eight." He reported, relaxing back in his partner's arms. He could definitely get used to this. He had never been in a relationship where his partner just wanted to snuggle rather than jump his bones. Come to think of it, he had never spooned with another guy before in his whole life, especially not with all his clothes on. "Don't you have to get to work?"_

 _"No, I'm on lates this week." He yawned widely, wrapping his arms a little tighter around Greg's waist. He rested his chin on his shoulder, breathing in his delicious scent. He had always dreamed of doing something as innocent as spooning his boyfriend, but he had always been too scared to even look at another man. Greg was the only one he felt safe with and the only one he had ever considered to be boyfriend material._

 _"I'm sorry my idea of a date turned into pizza and a crappy movie."_

 _"I'm not." Nick shook his head, giving the younger man in his arms a wide smile. "Your idea of a date turned into the best one yet. My ideas always send us out in public where we can't even look at each other without me worryin' that someone from the lab will find out. I don't know why you put up with me, G."_

 _"Because I like you." Greg rolled himself over onto his side, looking up into the eyes of the man he adored. "In fact, I like, like you a lot, Tex."_

 _Nick's gorgeous smile spread wider. "You like, like me? What are you in the third grade?"_

 _"Maybe." He returned his smile, propping himself up on his elbow beside him. "I like you a lot. Always have... I just never realised how much until now. Besides, something tells me that you're worth the wait. I don't want to push you into anything that you're not ready for. Every step in our relationship, no matter how small is important to me. This one being the first night you slept over and the first morning I get to wake up beside you. Today also marks our four month anniversary. It's exactly four months ago today that I first kissed you in the locker room."_

 _"Is it really?" Nick couldn't even remember the date that happened. He remembered the moment perfectly, but he couldn't remember what day of the week it was, let alone the date. "Darn, I didn't get you anythin'."_

 _Greg cracked a smile, shaking his head as he looked into the man's eyes. "You could kiss me now. We can mark the event with our first morning kiss. I mean, if you like, like me too?"_

 _The older man looked a little hesitant about initiating anything more intimate than spooning, but he managed to work himself up to it, sealing an innocent school boy kiss to his lifelong crush's lips. Once he got a taste for his lips though, he had to kiss him again, wondering what he was so worried about. They were both fully clothed grown men and he trusted Greg to respect his wishes. He didn't know of any other guy that would wait so long just to be able to kiss their boyfriend._

 _Greg truly was one of a kind._

* * *

Putting his arm over his eyes as the sun poured in through the window, Greg moaned softly, praying for just a few more minutes of sleep. He pulled the pillow out from under his head, tossing it towards the window. It weakly hit the centre, before it crashed lifelessly to the ground. He rolled his eyes, dropping his head back to his mattress, just as the buzzer to his front door started going off.

"No..." He held his hands over his eyes, groaning softly as it continued to buzz. "No... I'm not home... go away." He prayed for it to stop, but whoever it was didn't take the hint.

The buzzer continued its obnoxious sound for the next few minutes, not showing any sign of quitting.

Throwing back the covers from his chest, Greg reluctantly rolled himself over onto his stomach, feeling a cold spot on his mattress from the ice cream. He sighed softly from the memories of last night, wishing Nick had stuck around long enough for him to at least get a hug.

He crawled out of bed, grabbed his jeans off the floor and quickly made his way off to the door.

"Oh, it's you." He sighed, seeing his former boss stood out in the hallway. The chiselled jaw, jet black hair and baby blues used to make his heart flutter, but now they were just a constant reminder that he had cheated on Nick with a man that he loathed. They didn't exactly establish any rules when they parted ways, but it felt like cheating, especially now that he knew Nick had been waiting for him all this time.

Why did he ever have to meet Michael Carter?

"What are you doing here?" He finally asked.

"What's the matter, catch you at a bad time or something? Nice to see you too, Greg." Michael raised the box from his hands, presenting them to the younger man in front of him. "You forgot to clean out your locker, so I hauled your crap all the way over here for you."

Greg reached out for the box, taking a look inside. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of the junk, giving the older man a confused look. "Yeah, because I simply couldn't live without half a packet of Kleenex. A newspaper from last year. One odd sock... oh and a petrol receipt."

"You could at least be a _little_ more grateful." Michael presented him with a slight smile, awkwardly stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Okay, so I wanted an excuse to come and see you. You didn't exactly give me time to say goodbye. You handed in your notice while I wasn't even there, then you disappeared the week I was scheduled to teach in California. You didn't leave me with a whole lot of options, Sanders. You're starting to make me feel as though I did something to make you leave."

Greg ditched the box on the floor, ushering him inside. He pushed the door shut behind him, smiling at the memory of Nick pushing him against it, devouring his lips. While Michael was poking around, Greg grabbed himself a t-shirt from one of the boxes, quickly guiding his arms through the holes.

"So this is the dump you left me for?" Michael turned to face him, presenting him with a slight smile. He looked a little disappointed that he had covered himself up, but his eyes quickly travelled to his bare legs.

"How'd you even find me?" Greg asked, putting himself behind the counter.

"Your mother gave me your address." He turned his attention back to the apartment now that his favourite attributes of Greg's had been hidden away. "You've been here two weeks already and you haven't unpacked yet? What the hell have you been doing?"

"Yeah, well I've been busy with work." Greg made a mental note to yell at his mother later for telling an ex where he lived. "It's not that bad, really." He turned for the kitchen, eager to make himself a coffee. "You want one?" He shook the tin of coffee in his direction, watching the man turning his nose up at it. He didn't appreciate his taste in coffee. He didn't even drink the stuff. Come to think of it, he didn't appreciate a lot of things about Greg. His hair, flamboyant wardrobe and his taste in music.

Nick was right, he had changed into someone he wasn't in order to get someone to like him. He never had to try so hard with Nick. He liked him exactly how he was. He was the only one he could really be himself around.

"How's the lab here treating you then?" Michael appeared beside him, resting his hands against the counter, his eyes travelling across the younger man's figure. "Your position is still open in San Francisco. Haven't found anyone to fill your shoes yet."

"That's a lie." Greg smirked, replacing the coffee tin to cupboard above him. "Georgia texted me already. She said my new replacement is completely incompetent and not much of a conversationalist, but he's easy on the eyes." He glanced up at his former boss, catching a slight smile spreading across his lips. "I see that you agree. Exactly how many of your employees have you seduced?"

"Nah, he's way too young for me. His hair styles are worse than yours when you first joined us. He's still a bit green too."

Pushing the man aside for his comment, Greg made his way over to the fridge, grabbing the milk from the door. He felt tempted to throw him out right there and then, but his mother taught him manners, even when the guest was an unwelcome arrogant arse.

"I'm not going back." He put it bluntly.

"Because the setup you have here is so sweet?" Michael raised an eyebrow at him. "What's Las Vegas got that San Francisco doesn't? Besides a nicer apartment for one thing. This place is like a cupboard. Hookers live better than this. It's a dump."

Greg wanted to answer with _Nick!_ But he didn't want either one of them to know about each other. It would feel like his worlds had collided, sending everything into chaos.

"What does your mother think about you being back here? I can't imagine she's too happy about this dump you're shacked up in."

"Why don't you ask her yourself? She already gave you my address without asking me first. I'm surprised she didn't already dish out personal details of my life to you." He snipped.

"Hey, I can't help it if mothers adore me." He presented the younger man with his shit eating grin. "I never exactly had one growing up. You don't know how lucky you are to have your mother around, supporting everything you do. Calling you every freaking day. Interfering in every moment of your life." The older man paused a moment, shaking his head as he realised how annoying that would be. "On second thoughts, you can keep her. It's about time you grew a pair and told her to stop interfering in your life and get one of her own."

Greg immediately scowled at the man, remembering why he decided to end things between them in the first place.

He was a jerk.

After stirring milk into his coffee, Greg ditched his spoon in the sink, taking a quick sip of the delicious liquid. His head was already starting to pound from the night before, but he was still buzzing from his night out with his long lost love.

"C'mon Greg, come back with me. There's nothing for you here."

"There's everything for me here. All my friends are here. My friends that are more like a family to me." He pointed out to him. "We're not together anymore. We haven't been together in... months and I prefer it that way. You have shitty bedside manners."

"Hey, you didn't seem to mind my bedside manners a few weeks ago."

Greg whipped his head around, furious that he would even bring that up again. It was embarrassing enough falling for his old tricks again, but the fact that he had the nerve to kick him out the morning after really stuck the knife in his back, only to twist the knife in deeper a few weeks later when he casually mentioned the fact that he had an STD.

"Did you seriously just come all this way to beg me to come back with you?" Greg snapped again, eager to get rid of him as soon as possible.

"Hell no, I have a meeting with your supervisor." Michael examined the apartment a little closer, afraid to touch anything in case he caught anything. "We're attending a conference together in a few months time. Since I can't get him on the phone, I thought I'd see him in person."

"And here's me thinking I was important to you." Greg sarcastically remarked, searching around for a clock to see the time. The sun was still up in the sky, confusing him a little. He was on the day shift back in San Francisco. He still couldn't get used to working while the sun was no longer in the sky. "You should probably get going if you want to catch him in a good mood. He doesn't like being interrupted during a case."

"Move in with me." Michael surprised him.

"What?" Greg couldn't think of anything to say. He dropped his jaw in surprise, hoping he had imagined it, but Michael looked as though he was waiting for a response. "You're kidding, right? I must be still drunk. Can you run that by me one more time?"

"I said move in with me."

"Yep... that's what I was afraid you said." The younger man sucked in a sharp breath, hoping it was just a joke, but he couldn't hear the punch line. "Why?" He raised an eyebrow at the older man. "You don't even like me. I certainly don't like you."

"I'm asking you to move in with me, aren't I?" Michael stuffed his hands in his pockets, standing in front of the younger man. "You haven't exactly said no, so can I take that as you'll think about it?"

"No. I _don't_ want to move in with you." Greg couldn't help but smile, shaking his head at the man. "That's a pretty weak last ditch effort for a relationship that was just... friends with benefits at best. I don't love you. You don't love me either. The only time we spend together is in your bed or working. That's not a relationship." He carried his coffee over to the sofa, crashing against the cushions. "Frankly, I would hate to see how you treat people that you actually like."

"Oh c'mon Greg, what are you like six years old? Who gives a crap about love?" Michael followed him in. "You can't deny that we're good together. You constantly ask me where we're going, but the moment I try to make any kind of commitment to you, you run off to another city."

"I deny it." Greg kept his smile up, putting his legs up on the sofa beside him. "I stopped asking you for any kind of commitment when I dumped you. You didn't exactly put up much of a fight when I did either, so don't pretend that you care." He reminded him. "I want a relationship. A real loving, love to the moon and back, can't live without each other relationship. I can't have that with you."

"There's no such thing, Greg. You're living with your head in the clouds."

"There is such a thing." He smiled dreamily, thinking about Nick. "You just have to look hard enough. Of course it might be too late for you, what are you late forties by now?"

"Thirty nine, if you must know. Don't put me out to pasture just yet." He pushed Greg's legs off the sofa, taking a seat beside him. "C'mon Greg, come back with me."

"Why are you trying so hard to make this work? It's not as though we have anything really going between us." Greg gave him a confused look. "You don't even like me. You don't like anyone that much. You gave me an STD!" He reminded him. "I've never had an STD in my life."

"You're still going on about that."

"You don't care about my feelings." Greg added another point. "Why would you want to spend more time with me?"

"Because... I've never made anything work. I feel like if I let you go, it's going to be the biggest mistake of my life." Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, Michael dug out a spare key, placing it in Greg's hand. "I got you a key cut to my place. My cleaning lady doesn't even have a key. Doesn't that show you that I want to make this work? I'm not your boss anymore, Greg. You can even stay and work here if you want. Long distance might work out with us."

"You don't get it." Greg shook his head. "It doesn't matter that you're not my boss anymore. Even if you were, I still wouldn't move in with you. I don't _want_ to be with you."

"Why?" Michael looked so confused.

"You treat me like garbage for one thing. You always have to be in control of every situation and you're a bully. When I need you, you're nowhere to be seen, but when you need me, I'm always there for you. You dumped every crap case on me when you were in a bad mood and you always go running to my mother when I do something wrong. On top of all that, you always criticise me. Nothing I ever do is good enough for you."

"That's crap, when have I ever criticised you?"

"My hair. My clothes. My mother. This apartment. You don't even realise that you're doing it, which makes it worse." Greg argued back at him, taking a quick sip of his coffee to calm himself down. He really needed to vent, but he didn't want to take it all out on him. "We don't make each other happy. Moving in together would be a huge mistake."

Michael rested his elbows against his knees, giving out a soft sigh. He knew he was right, but it still hurt to lose him. "Not even if I marry you?"

"Are you kidding?" Greg chuckled softly, shaking his head at the man. "Marriage is for breeders." He directly quoted the man. "You don't want kids or to get stuck with one person for the rest of your life. You told me that yourself on our first night together. I understood that and I get it, but it's not what I want. I thought it was... but I want everything in a relationship that you told me I couldn't have. If I marry you... what's in it for us besides being stuck with someone that we don't like a whole lot in the most unhappiest marriage known to man?"

"You want someone that can commit to you, right? I'm offering you the chance to live with me and marry me. I'm a Lab Supervisor, soon to be Director. You can't marry someone more successful than that."

Greg rolled his eyes, throwing his head back against his sofa cushions. "You don't get it. I want love. Butterflies in your stomach, heart pounding, palm sweating love. I want to be with someone that I can see a future with. Someone that actually likes me. Someone that I can grow old with, experience life with. So what if you have money and a successful career, you're a total jerk. You make me feel like crap when we're together. Let's face it, when we're in public, you're embarrassed to be seen with me. What kind of future is that? You don't marry the jerk."

Michael pursed his lips together, breathing in a deep breath. He gave the younger man a nod in agreement, reaching out for his key that was still in his hand. "Well, can't say I'm all that disappointed." He sighed softly, cracking a smile. "By the state of your apartment, I've probably saved my cleaning lady some grief. I guess I can give her the key now."

"You trust her with a key?"

"Not really. The crazy old bat replaced my porn stash with the bible a few months back. She still won't tell me what she did with my Geeks and Jocks magazines. I still have that picture of you from the our first night together though. That'll work." He gave the younger man a cheeky smile, before he pushed himself to his feet. "You know if you're still single by my age, look me up."

"You'll probably have a toy boy on each arm in ten years."

"Maybe." Michael stared at him for the longest moment, before he leant down to his level to steal a quick kiss from his lips. Very quick, thankfully. Greg didn't want anything to ruin the memory of last night with Nick. "Hey, you can still come visit me. When you've got an itch that needs scratching or one day when you get lonely. Day or night, I'm always available." He gave him a cheesy grin, before he straightened up.

"That's gross." Greg wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, hating the taste of the man now. He tasted bitter like betrayal.

"Hey, I'm gonna stop by the lab later, see what your Mr Grissom looks like now. See if he's a good enough reason to let you go."

"He is. I'm sure he'll remember you too." Greg climbed to his feet, ditching his coffee mug on the floor, so he could escort the other man to the door. "Thank you for the box of... junk from my locker. I don't know what I'd do without it." He remarked, pulling the door to his apartment open for him.

"Hey you might need the Kleenex now that you don't have me around." He made a gross hand gesture.

"Very thoughtful." Greg glared back, putting his back to the door. He willed him to just walk away without saying any awkward goodbyes, but Michael stayed put in his doorway, looking at him as though he was never going to see him again. "You know this is why I tried to avoid the awkward goodbye thing back in San Francisco. I hate goodbyes."

"It might be easier if you sleep with me one last time." Michael gave him a cocky grin. "C'mon, I've got time. I slept with all my other ex boyfriends before we broke up."

"Not even if you were the last man on earth." Greg pushed him away slightly, motioning for him to leave again.

Before Greg could stop him, the older man suddenly leant forwards, pinning him to the door as he assaulted his lips. He shivered as the older man slid his arms around him, holding him tightly in his embrace. He could feel himself getting sucked back into the void of Michael Carter, quickly pushing him away from him, before all traces of Nick were out of his system. He put his back to his front door, holding the man at arm's length, just as another visitor appeared beside him.

Warrick.

Greg immediately felt his cheeks flushing with blood, realising the other man had seen the whole thing. Did everyone know where he lived?

"Hey... Sanders." Warrick awkwardly cleared his throat, looking more than a little uncomfortable about what he had just seen. He didn't even know that Greg was gay, making him wonder what else he had been hiding from him.

"Hi." Greg gave him an awkward smile, sensing he should introduce the man who had just been kissing him. "Uh... this is, Michael."

"Carter. Michael Carter." The man introduced himself, shaking the other man's hand. "Warrick Brown, right? I saw you present your last paper in Long Beach last year. Interesting theories. Hey if you're ever looking for a change of location, you're always welcome in San Francisco. We could use some more open minded CSIs on our team like you." He reached into his jacket pocket, placing a business card in the man's hand. "With Greg no longer in the picture, the team is short one at the moment. Might as well get your foot in the door. I gotta get going. I got a meeting with your super today. Hey Greg, call me when you need me."

Michael presented a shit eating grin in his direction, nodding to the other man as he turned to leave.

"Sorry to interrupt." Warrick stuffed the business card into his pocket, watching the other man disappearing in the elevator. He turned to look at Greg, unable to look into his eyes anymore. "Uh... we've got work to do, so get your stuff. I figured you'd need a ride, since your car is sitting at the lab."

"Thanks. I'll be one minute."

Leaving the door open, Greg hurried back to his bedroom, grabbing his sneakers and wallet. He searched around for his keys, chuckling to himself as he made his way into the front room, digging them out of the box full of packing peanuts. It only took him a minute or so to find them, before he was out the door with Warrick for one of the most awkward car rides of his life.

He literally couldn't wait to get to their crime scene.

* * *

After escaping yet another argument between himself and his mother, Nick made his way off to his son's school, waiting out the front with all the other parents. He removed the sunglasses from his face, still feeling the effects of his hangover, but it was all worth it in his mind. He actually managed to get a few winks of sleep in last night, avoiding the nightmares that usually came with.

He hooked his sunglasses on the collar of his t-shirt, watching the other parents making their way inside, finding a group of parents they knew to catch up with. He had met a few of them, but not well enough to remember their names.

The overly excited woman who could be heard from every point on the playground was unmistakable as Hazel's mother. He first met Hazel and her mother when he left Evan at day care for the first time. Only for an hour as his first test run of leaving his baby boy with strangers, still one of the most heart breaking moments of his life. Since then, Hazel and Evan had got into the same pre-K, Kindergarten and now first grade classes. He didn't exactly get on with Sonia, Hazel's mother though, so he stayed put in the background, watching her bragging about Hazel's latest accomplishments to all her friends.

Apparently her daughter was taking ballet classes, gymnastics, dance, horse riding and violin lessons. Nick couldn't believe his ears, the child was only six. He was still struggling to find the time to get his son some swimming lessons.

Nick turned as he heard someone shout 'hello', not recognising the severely pregnant woman at all, so she couldn't have been talking to him. She passed right by him, rushing to greet her friends who all looked so happy to see her out and about.

Watching them from a distance, Nick felt envy seeping into his veins. He never even knew about Evan until it was too late. He never told any of his friends. He never got to introduce any of them to his baby once he was born. He had always wanted children. Evan's birth and existence should have been celebrated, not hidden away like a dirty little secret. He wished he could place all the blame on his parents, but he agreed to go along with it all, leaving Evan in the dark about where he came from and who his real parents were.

Evan didn't even have any extracurricular activities, but the other kids seemed to have fully booked schedules. He didn't even know the names of his son's friends. He had kept his whole life hidden away like he didn't even exist.

How had he become his own father?

* * *

 **Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	8. Chapter 7 - Dirty Little Secrets

**Chapter Seven - Dirty Little Secrets**

"Daddy!"

Hearing the familiar sound of his son's voice, Nick looked away from the group of friends discussing the upcoming baby shower, spotting his own little one running towards him, clutching a dinosaur in his hands. He knelt down to catch him in his arms, feeling his little heart pounding softly against his own. He hugged him just a little bit tighter and a little bit longer than usual, wishing he could change so much of their past.

"Daddy, can't breathe." His son tapped his shoulder, giving him a adorable Greg grin as he pulled back from him. "Daddy, what's wrong?"

"Nothin'." He whispered softly, kissing the top of his head. "I just missed you. Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah." Evan couldn't stop smiling, relieved his father had kept his promise and picked him up after school. "Is Grandma going back home now?"

"I don't know yet. We'll have to wait and see." Nick smiled at his son, gently brushing his fingers through his adorable messy hair. He was starting to look more and more like Greg every day, especially now that the younger man was back in his life. "So, where did this guy come from?" He pointed out the dinosaur in his hands, sure it didn't belong him as he had never seen it before.

"Noah gave him to me. He has two of them already."

"Noah?" He asked.

"Yeah," Evan searched the playground behind him, pointing out the other boy with both of his parents. "Him. He lives with his Grandma, Mommy and Daddy. They have four dogs."

"Four dogs, wow."

"Yeah, one for each of them. He has three big sisters. And Daddy, his Dad is a fireman."

"A fireman? That's cool." Nick put his arms around his baby boy again, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Daddy, how did the dinosaurs die?"

"Dinosaurs..." Nick straightened up, putting his son's arms through the straps of his backpack. He was sure they already had this discussion a few months back, but he couldn't remember the explanation he gave him then for the life of him. "Well, some people believe that the dinosaurs were wiped out by a huge meteor that hit the earth."

"A meteor?" Evan had the most adorable quizzical look on his face.

"Yeah, it's like a big rock that flies through space. It flew really fast towards the earth millions of years ago. When it hit the earth, it wiped all of the dinosaurs out."

Evan's expression turned to a sad one as he looked at the dinosaur in his hands. "How do people know what they look like if they died so long ago?"

"Well, scientists found their skeletons buried underground. They dug them up and did all sorts of tests on them, figurin' out what they looked like, how they moved or even what they ate." He held the dinosaur in his son's hand, looking into his big beautiful eyes. "Dinosaurs had their time on this earth. They were the rulers of the earth back in their time. Can you imagine livin' with these huge monsters now?"

"They would step on everyone and crash into all the buildings all the time." Evan enthusiastically jumped up and down, pretending he was a dinosaur. He stomped around like a T-Rex, before he turned back to his father. "Rawr!" He bared his teeth, digging his finger like claws into his father's shoulder. He giggled as the man scooped him up into his arms, pressing playful kisses to his cheek.

"You little monster."

"I not a monster." He squirmed in his arms, giving out a deep breath when his father finally stopped. "Daddy, what did the dinosaurs eat?"

"Well the big meat eater ones ate other dinosaurs. This one that you're holdin'..." Nick lifted him higher, holding him securely against his hip. "He's a herbivore. He would have eaten all his vegetables. See he has a really long neck so he can reach up to all the trees." He gave him a playful tickle, getting an adorable smile out of him. He made it through the school gates, carrying his son towards his truck. "So, where to my little monster? Grandma's home packin' her things for the weekend, so we've got some time to ourselves." He opened the back of his truck, lifting his son into his seat.

"The park. Did you bring my bike?"

"No, it's still at home."

"Oh..." Evan leant forwards so his father could remove the backpack from his shoulders, ditching it on the seat beside him. He let go of his dinosaur a moment so the man could guide his arms through the straps of his seat, buckling him in tightly. "Daddy."

"Yes, baby."

Evan stretched both his arms out in front of him, indicating that he wanted a hug. He smiled as his father immediately responded, hugging him tightly in his arms. He pressed a kiss to the centre of his forehead when he pulled back, giving him the widest smile he had seen on his father's lips in weeks.

At the park it felt as though he finally had his father back. He played with him on the climbing frame, soared higher than him on the swings and chased him through the jungle gym, pretending to be a dinosaur. He even took him out to Chuck E Cheese for dinner, letting him order anything he wanted and play any game he wanted to.

By the end of the day, Evan was passed out cold in the back of his father's truck for the drive home. He remained fast asleep as his father carried him into the house, easily getting him dressed in his pyjamas. He lay him down in his bed, admiring all the similarities he shared with Greg. Besides the hair cut and the gappy toothed grin, he was almost a perfect miniature of him now. He couldn't wait for Greg to meet him. He wanted him to see him right now, but he knew that at least one of them would need an explanation before that could happen.

Instead of tearing up again, Nick tucked the dinosaur under his son's arm, pressing a goodnight kiss to his forehead. He carefully tiptoed out of the room to avoid waking him up, bumping into his mother in the hallway.

"Good day out with your son? Looks like you're finally starting to acknowledge that he actually exists again." Jillian folded her arms across her chest, giving him a curious look. "What exactly are you planning on telling him this weekend?"

"Please don't start, Mama." He sighed softly, making his way through to the kitchen, so they wouldn't wake Evan up. "He's my son. I'm gonna tell him the truth." Nick grabbed himself a coffee mug, turning to fill the kettle with water.

"Even the part about Greg?"

Nick rolled his eyes, putting the kettle on to boil. "Especially the part about Greg, he's his father. I don't want to lie to him anymore or deny him of an amazin' father like Greg. I'm gonna tell him everythin'... about me... where he came from... Greg. All of it. He has nothin' to be ashamed of. I don't want him hidden away like a dirty little secret anymore. It's not fair on him."

"He's still a child, Nick. He doesn't need to know everything."

"About me you mean?" He felt furious with her, but he tried to contain his anger. "Just because you're ashamed of me, doesn't mean that he will be. He doesn't know how to hate, he's a child."

"I'm not ashamed of you. And I never said that I hated you. You're my son, I'll always love you no matter what. I just don't think that a six year old should know all about... your lifestyle. You're a mean drunk, Nicholas, just like your father." She came right out and said it. "The things you said to me last night hurt."

"The things you've said to me my entire life hurt too." He barked right back at her. "You've never taken my feelin's into account though, you only care about how you look or what you feel. What you and Dad think about me seems to matter more than my happiness. I feel like you've persecuted me, just for lovin' someone and havin' a baby."

"We haven't persecuted you."

"Really? When Billy cheated on his wife, you didn't treat him like dirt. Lily had two abortions against your wishes, but you've bent over backwards to help her get back on her feet. Gwen has three kids from three different men, none of which she's married to, but you don't make her feel bad about it. I've only been with one guy my whole life. One guy that made me happier than I thought I could be and you've never warmed up to him. You treated him like an unwelcome guest. You treat me like crap. You wouldn't even return my calls when I got pregnant with Evan. You only came over finally, because you thought he was goin' to die. Greg's parents have never made him feel the way you've made me feel. I never want Evan to feel how I've felt."

"Like what?"

"Like there's somethin' wrong with him." Nick realised that no matter how hard he tried, his mother would never understand what it felt like to be him. She could never understand and she didn't care enough to understand either, which only made it hurt more.

Nick ditched the coffee he had been making, grabbing his jacket and keys to escape the situation, before he exploded and said something he might regret. He escaped to the only place he felt safe, seeking out the only person he trusted.

Greg Sanders.

* * *

Finally reaching the top of the stairs of their crime scene, Greg whistled, finding the museum of all American muscle cars on the top floor of some billionaires house. "Wow... so this is what all the money in the world looks like."

"Not quite." Grissom straightened up from beside one of the cars. "Brass ran the plates of the first three. The 1970 Chevrolet was stolen three years ago from the driveway of a casino owner." He pointed towards the red one behind him, with the black stripe running down the centre. "The Mustang was registered as stolen nine months ago and the Camaro was stolen from the grand opening of that new casino in town. It was supposed to be auctioned off to the highest bidder."

"Still worth a lot though." Greg tried to contain his excitement in a room full of such beauties.

"Tell me about it." Warrick set his kit down beside him. "The Mustang alone has gotta be worth two hundred thousand. Zero to sixty in six point eight seconds." He kept his distance from the beautiful car, whistling as he looked inside. "Mint condition too. My cousin used to have one. It didn't exactly run, but it was still a beauty."

Greg smiled at the man, realising he did have a softer side after all. "Why steal all these cars just to store them like this? Cars like this should be out on the road."

"The real question is why kill the billionaire downstairs and leave all this fortune up here?" Catherine opened the door to the Chevy, showing their late arrivals the stacks of cash on the front seat. "Looks like the mattresses were full, he decided to stuff the stolen cars with his fortune too." She gave Greg a grin, before she started snapping pictures. She knew how much he loved the old crime boss stories, already seeing his mind ticking away with all the possibilities.

"Warrick, Greg I want you to ride back to the coroner's office with the body." Grissom broke their hearts, ripping away the greatest crime scene ever from under their feet. "Our victim may have been sixty years old, but the front room full of shell casings tells me he didn't die of natural causes. Get Bobby on the bullets. Let us know as soon as you find anything."

"Got it boss, c'mon Sanders." Warrick grabbed his kit, ushering the younger man out with him. He saw the disappointment all over his face, especially after nearly six hours of processing the scene downstairs. The last thing they wanted to do was leave a scene like this and get stuck waiting around for results at the lab, but they had to follow the bosses orders.

Greg reluctantly climbed back into Warrick's car, tempted to plug his ears before the music even came on. When Warrick started up the car though, he immediately turned the volume down, waiting for his passenger to look at him.

"So are we gonna talk about that guy now?"

"I told you, he's just a friend." Greg explained himself again, wondering when Warrick appointed himself his guardian. This must have been the fifth time tonight that he brought him up, starting to get on Greg's nerves. The last person he wanted to talk about right now was Michael. He was hoping that he was as far away from Las Vegas as he could be right now, so he really didn't want to talk about him anymore.

Thankfully, he just missed him at the lab earlier. He saw him leaving in the elevator, hopefully for good, but he never could tell what was on that man's mind. He didn't even want to ask Grissom what they talked about, fearing that he might mention that they have a new member joining the team or something.

"C'mon Greg, don't give me that bull. From the looks of things, you knew each other pretty well."

Greg shrugged it off. "We worked together in San Francisco, that's all."

Warrick chuckled softly, shaking his head at the younger man. "From the looks of things this morning, it looked as though you did a lot more than just work together, Sanders."

"If you have a problem with me being gay."

"I don't have a problem with that." Warrick objected, glaring at him across the car. "I just didn't think you were that kind of guy, Greg."

"What kind of guy is that?" Greg gave him a confused look.

"Sleeping your way to the top." The older man blurted it out, breaking Greg's spirit. "What are you doing with a guy like that? You're better than that, Greg."

"I didn't sleep with him to get to where I am. He wasn't even my mentor. I made it to where I am on my own, just like you did. I transferred to his shift two years ago. He's not exactly the kind of guy who gives favours. He's kind of a jerk. Why do you think I wanted to leave so badly?"

"I don't know, I thought you just missed us or something." Warrick shrugged his shoulders together, finally putting the car in drive. "You were only with us what... three or four years before you left us for your big opportunity. You were still a part of this team though. You left us a boy, came back a man." He smirked, cranking the volume up as he pulled away.

Greg tilted his head back in his seat, watching the world go by outside. He could barely think with the loud booming music blasting into his ear drums, but when they paused for breath or a brief interval between tracks, all he could think about was seeing Nick again.

At the lab, he let Warrick handle the thousands of rounds they had collected with Bobby Dawson, while he made his way down to autopsy. He could barely stomach his first few autopsies, but now they really didn't bother him that much. It helped that he tried to think of them as evidence rather than real people being cut up, but he still shuddered every time he looked inside the empty cavity of a human body.

He knew the feeling all too well. It made it feel worse seeing the real thing.

"Mr Sanders," The receptionist jumped up from her desk, presenting the man with a smile once he finally returned from downstairs. "Hi Greg, your mother has been trying to get hold of you. Five times she's called now. She wants to know if you're coming home for thanksgiving. Please get back to her or she'll give me another earful. Also, Ecklie would like to see you in his office before you leave and... oh, you have a visitor." She grabbed the envelope off her desk, handing it over to the younger man. "It's really good to have you back in the lab, Greg."

"Thank you, Judy." Greg gave her a smile, making his way towards his old lab as he ripped open the envelope he had in his hand. "Hey Wendy, did doc Robbins send you..."

"Yep, next on my list." Wendy interrupted him, pointing towards them on her desk. "I'm kinda swamped though, so it might be a while yet, but you're next on my list, I swear." She gave him a smile, watching him reading something that he had just pulled out of the envelope. "What's that then? A secret love letter."

"Something like that. Thanks, Wendy." He quickly slipped away, hurrying for the stairs down the hall. He took the stairs up two at a time, bursting through the door at the top. When you get a note that says _'I'm on the roof'_ from the man you love, it's hard not to assume the worst, especially from a man who had just been through a traumatic experience.

What was he doing on the roof? Why would he even be up there?

Anxiously scanning the rooftop of the building, Greg breathed deeply, feeling his breath catching in his throat as he finally caught sight of him. He was stood against the railing surrounding the rooftop, looking up at the stars above them, rather than down at the ground, attempting to jump like he had pictured in his head.

What was he thinking? Nick wouldn't try to kill himself.

"Hey." Greg tried to hide the fact that he was breathless, making his way towards the man. "Are you okay?" He saw a slight smile on his lips, hidden in sadness. "This is a surprise. Why didn't you come inside?" He motioned towards the building, preparing himself to talk him down from the ledge.

The Texan shrugged his shoulders together, placing his hands on the railing in front of him. "I wanted to avoid the questions. I hung around for a while to wait for you to come back from your crime scene, but I kept gettin' looks. A visitin' CSI from another lab recognised me as that guy that got buried alive. It feels like it doesn't matter what I do anymore. I'll always be the guy that was trapped in the Plexiglas coffin."

"Visiting CSI?" Greg feared that his worst fears had come true. He only knew of one CSI that was visiting the lab today, but he was hoping that he would have left hours ago. He had no business being in the lab for longer than he needed and he had no right to talk to Nick either.

"Yeah, some guy in reception. He had a meetin' with Grissom, wanted to hang around to meet Ecklie. I don't know why anyone would travel across the states to meet Ecklie. I'd travel all of them just to get away from the man."

Greg couldn't help but smile, taking a step closer towards the man. "What happened to you... it was only six weeks ago, Nicky. Give people a chance to get their claws in some new gossip." He tried to lighten the mood, leaning against the railing beside him. He glanced down at the long drop off the top of the building, gulping softly as it was a lot higher than he thought. "Could we maybe step away from the edge a little?"

"Hold on a minute." Nick turned to face him, giving him the once over. "There's somethin' different about you."

"Is there?" Greg anxiously bit his bottom lip, feeling his flesh tingling as the Texan ran his adorable eyes all over him.

"Neatly combed hair. Ironed button down shirt. Smart black jeans with no rips in them." Nick made his observations, lifting his gaze to look into his eyes again. "You actually look professional, G. Someone you're tryin' to impress?"

"What I can't look good?"

"I'd say you look beautiful." He presented him with a real smile, looking deep into his eyes.

"Thank you. I didn't exactly wake up like this though. Warrick practically dragged me out of bed this morning to get to our first shout. Luckily I had some spare clothes in my locker and Sara leant me her hair brush."

"You're beautiful whatever you wear."

"Adorable pillow creased hair, baggy sweat pants, tattered food stained t-shirt..." Greg made his own observations of the other man, giving him a cheeky smile. "Not exactly your usual style, but you look beautiful too."

Nick looked down at his t-shirt, realising that he had sauce and sticky finger marks down his t-shirt from his son. He gave the younger man a guilty smile, wishing he had thought to change his clothes, before he came out. He lifted his gaze to meet Greg's, feeling as though his appearance didn't even matter around him.

He was the only one he could trust.

"So..." Feeling a little less fearful that Nick was about to jump, Greg took a step closer, placing his hand over the top of Nick's. "I guess you made it home after you left mine last night. Did you manage to get any sleep? You look like you slept a little better, especially around the eyes."

"I slept like a baby." He let Greg lift his hand into his, feeling butterflies in his stomach as the younger man weaved their fingers together.

"I wish I could say the same. My bed was kinda cold after you left and not just because of the ice cream. It took me ages to finally crash. I managed to get about hour, before Warrick dragged me out of bed to work this billionaire case."

"I saw it on the news." Nick nodded slightly, pulling his hands away from the younger man's. "Greg, I'm... I-I'm goin' away this weekend... f-for thanksgivin'." He adorably stammered. "I-I'm headin' back to the ranch for a few days... with my Mama. I'm hopin' to permanently drop her off while I'm there." He gave him a slight smile, seeing the familiar look of disappointment in Greg's eyes. "It's just for a few days. My return flight is on Monday. Grissom's agreed to let me start up my regular shifts at the lab again. I passed all my psych evaluations, so there's nothin' keepin' me off the job anymore."

"That's good... great even." Greg allowed his smile to spread a little wider. "Aren't you pleased to be back on the job?"

"Kinda." The man shrugged his shoulders together, looking up at the sky above him. "Greg, when I... when I get back... I-I think we should... talk... about this... about us. We didn't really get a chance to catch up last night."

"Why don't you just say it now?" Greg took another step closer, closing the gap between them completely. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I haven't seen you this nervous in... ever." He reached his hand up, brushing his thumb across the stubble beginning to appear on the man's jaw line. "I still love you. You still love me. After last night, I think it's safe to say that we still work. I understand if you've got some stuff to work through. You've been through a lot. Just like before, I don't want to push you into anything, but I really want to be with you again. I want you to be my boyfriend again. I want to experience life with you, growing old with you, seeing you every day."

Hearing how enthusiastic Greg was about their future, Nick allowed a small smile to spread across his lips, wondering if he would still feel the same after he found out what he had been hiding from him.

"Nicky..." Reaching for the man's other hand, Greg turned him to face him, looking into his big beautiful eyes. "I love you. I may have left you for a job, but I came back here to be with you. You are what I want. Everything that you wanted, the family, the house, maybe even the kids someday, I want it too. I want it all with you."

"Seriously?" Nick thought he had fallen asleep, but this was definitely real. "What changed since then?"

"I don't know." Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "I'm a little older. More mature, I guess. I thought that I didn't want all that... commitment stuff in my life. I never exactly pictured myself finding the one, let alone settling down with him and starting a life together. Now, I feel like I'm ready. I actually want all that stuff. I envy people who have it already. Maybe now that I have my career sorted, I'm realising that I really want all the icing on the cake. The great guy. The family. I want it."

"I want that too." Nick smiled in agreement. "But I really have somethin' that I need to tell you and it might change the way you feel about... me. This... bein' with you is all I've ever wanted... but I... I have other priorities now."

Greg looked slightly confused, but all he could feel was Nick's heart pounding against his own. "I can wait. However long you need, whatever you need to do, I can wait. I'll always be here. Nothing you say or do could ever change the way I feel about you."

"Greg... I... I haven't exactly told you the truth. I... I have somethin' that I really need..." Nick tried to build up the courage to tell him, but the door burst open for a second time. "Damn..." He rolled his eyes, quickly pulling back from Greg as Warrick came walking in their direction. "Hey." He nodded to the man, hoping he didn't see anything.

"Hey man, I didn't know you were here. Are you alright?" Warrick gave him a curious look. He had certainly looked better, it was relief to see him up on his feet since the hospital.

"Yeah, I'm good." He gulped, taking another step away from Greg. "I've uh... I gotta get goin' actually. Greg... I'll..."

The man nervously looked between the two men, wishing he wasn't so afraid to tell them the truth. His parents had scared him away from being able to be who he really was, open up the people he cared about or even trust the people he loved with his biggest secrets. Nothing exploded when he told Grissom the truth, but he couldn't bring himself to say it in front of both Warrick and Greg.

"I'll see you later." He slipped away as fast as his legs could carry him, hurrying down the stairs, before either of them could catch up with him. He could finally breathe when he reached his truck, banging his head against the side of the vehicle.

"I'm such an idiot."

"Nick, is that you?" Sara locked up her car, making her way over to him. "Hi." She gave him a smile, before he lunged forwards to hug her. He held onto her a little tighter than she was expecting, but she didn't back away.

When he finally let go, she could see the familiar signs of tears in his eyes, but she didn't want to ask the recurring question of _'are you okay?'_ She imagined he was probably sick of it by now.

"Hi." He just about managed to return her smile.

"Hi." Sara kept hold of his hand for comfort. "Are you back with us full time yet? Grissom mentioned that you're starting up with us again soon."

"Yeah... Monday. I'm actually headin' out to Texas for the weekend. Thanksgivin' with my folks. Hopefully I'll be refreshed and ready for my first shift back."

"Thanksgiving with my family isn't usually a time for relaxation. Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No... but I need to go. I'm gonna tell Evan the truth." Nick confessed, putting his back to his truck. He never intended on telling Sara the truth in the first place. She already knew about his relationship with Greg. He figured that Greg had told her that much. She figured out the details of his pregnancy and where Evan came from after she saw him in the hospital the same day he gave birth to his son.

It was hard to hide the evidence from her when he was still dazed from his surgery, but she promised to never tell anyone what she had figured out.

"I want him to know who his father is. I don't want to keep lyin' to him about where he came from."

"Does that mean you're going to tell Greg too?" Sara gave him a curious look, noting the hesitation, before he nodded. "He still doesn't even know that you have a son. You have to tell him, before he hears it from someone else. I almost slipped up the other day when I saw him." She confessed. "I'm sorry, but everyone here at the lab knows that you have a son. Greg is the only one who doesn't. He's bound to find out sooner or later. I think he deserves to hear it from you."

"I know, but it's complicated. How would I even start a conversation like that?"

"It's going to be hard, but you have to tell him the truth. This is Greg we're talking about. Not only is he a good listener, but he adores you. Don't tell him that I told you this, but I think you're the real reason that he's back here. When he was helping us find you, he was more determined than anyone else to get you back. He sat there watching you on the monitor for hours, never giving up hope that we would find you. You can't get back with him until you tell him the truth. It's not fair on him."

"I know." Nick breathed deeply. "I just don't want to hurt him."

"I hate to break it to you, Nick. But it doesn't really matter how you tell him, it's gonna hurt him knowing that he has a six year old son in the world that he's never even met. Imagine how you would feel."

Holding back his tears, Nick gave the woman another nod, wishing once again that he could change his past. He had made so many bad decisions in his life already, he was afraid to make anymore.


	9. Chapter 8 - My Sweet Baby

**Chapter Eight - My Sweet Baby**

 _"It's really painful... like this sharp stabbin' pain right here." Laying himself back on the hospital bed, Nick winced as the large male doctor jabbed his fingers into his stomach. He could practically feel the man's wedding ring digging into his kidney. He had been avoiding the pain for as long as he could, but it was starting to affect his work now, so he thought he might as well get it checked out. "It's been there a couple of weeks now. Not this bad. I just thought it was somethin' I ate... but I've been throwin' up. Then today I started to feel really dizzy. I practically fainted at work last night." He continued to give him the details, trying to read the man's expression for any sign of worry._

 _He was certainly worried. He had never been sick like this in his life._

 _"This abdominal pain," The man gave him a curious look, still jabbing his fingers into him. "Is it constant or does it only occur around eating?"_

 _"It's kinda constant at the moment." Nick nodded slightly, wishing he would ease up slightly._

 _"Any blood in your vomit or stools?"_

 _"You're thinkin' it's cancer?" He felt the blood draining from his face, barely managing to shake his head. "I'm only thirty. I can't have cancer... right?"_

 _The doctor shrugged his shoulders slightly, finally pulling back from prodding him in the stomach. "Based on the location of the pain you're experiencing, I'd like to send you for some tests." He grabbed his patient's chart, adding some details to it. "We'll start with a blood test that we can do now. We'll get you checked in for an x-ray and an ultrasound. It'll give us a picture of your internal organs, see what's going on in there."_

 _"And if it shows somethin'... like cancer?" Nick stopped him from walking away, sitting up straight on the bed. "What then?"_

 _The man breathed deeply, looking into Nick's eyes. "You mentioned that your grandfather had stomach cancer, so it's a possibility. Depending on the results of your blood test and the ultrasound, we might send you for an endoscopy and possibly biopsy the area. The endoscopy is a small camera that we'll put down your throat..."_

 _"I know what it is." Nick remembered his grandfather going through the procedure. "What are my chances?"_

 _"Mr Stokes, we don't even know what it is yet. Wait for the results from the blood test. I can schedule you in for an ultrasound today and we'll get in touch with you as soon as we have your blood test results back. I'll get a nurse to do the blood test now. Sit tight, we'll get to the bottom of this."_

 _Even though he was hopeful, Nick already knew what the results were going to say. This was his punishment finally catching up to him. His father always warned him that there was a price to pay and this was it. He was going to die for being with Greg._

 _"Are you nuts? It's probably just something that you ate." His mother assured him a few hours later over the phone. "Your grandfather had stomach ulcers for years, before they diagnosed him with stomach cancer. It's the stress of his job that brought it on, not something in his genetics. The only thing you have to worry about from your father's side of the family is hypertension and high cholesterol. I think you're safe from them at the moment. Are you still at the hospital?"_

 _"Yeah, over five hours of waitin'. They drained the blood from my arm already." Nick held it tight to his chest, still feeling the pain of where it went in. "I'm waitin' on the ultrasound, before I can go home. I heard one nurse mention somethin' about my kidneys. They already took a urine test."_

 _"Do you want me to fly over?" Jillian checked the computer screen in front of her. "I can get a flight in a few hours."_

 _"Mama, I'm thirty. I don't need you to hold my hand every time I get sick." Nick smirked, lowering his phone slightly as he noticed some movement outside his room. "Hey Mama, I gotta go. I'll call you back in a few minutes."_

 _"Alright, bye sweetheart."_

 _Putting the phone down, Nick pursed his lips together, giving the female doctor a slight smile as she made her way into the room. "Alright, Mr Stokes." She looked at the chart in her hands. "We're gonna take you downstairs now for your ultrasound. Would you like a wheelchair or are you okay to walk?"_

 _"I can walk." He scooted towards the edge of his bed, grabbing his jacket so he could follow her. They took the elevator down to the next floor, where she led him into a room, sitting him down on a bed covered with paper._

 _"Alright, if you could just open up your shirt. I don't think you need to take it all the way off. You might have to undo your belt a little though. Lie back." The woman made some adjustments to the bed, before she started to set up the machine beside her. "This might be a little cold." She grabbed a tube of something, globbing a large amount of it on his stomach. She gave him a slight smile as she grabbed the device attached to the computer, leaving him in suspense while she examined his internal organs._

 _Nick tried to study her expression to find out what was wrong with him, but she wasn't giving anything away. She continued to examine him for the next few minutes, before she excused herself from the room, leaving Nick put by himself. He anxiously tapped his fingers against the bed beside him, waiting for what felt like an eternity, before she returned with another female doctor. This one was a little older, a look of seniority in her eyes._

 _Without telling him anything, the two of them got back to examining his internal organs, worrying him even more as they started whispering something to one another._

 _"Can you please just tell me what's goin' on?" He startled them as though they had forgotten there was a real patient attached to the other end of that device._

 _"I'm sorry, Mr..." The older of the two searched for his chart, finding his name on the first sheet. "Mr Stokes, we're a little bit confused." She flipped through the rest of his notes, before she gave him a curious look. "I'm sorry that I have to ask you this, but are you a natural born male?"_

 _"Yes." He gave them a confused look, wondering what kind of prank they were trying to pull. "Why?"_

 _"I'll be back in just a moment, Mr Stokes." The woman took his notes with her, disappearing out the door again. She was gone for nearly four minutes, leaving him just staring at the woman beside him. When she returned, she had a male doctor with her this time. A much older man with a white beard covering his face. "Mr Stokes, this is Doctor Patrick. He's a gynaecologist."_

 _Nick wanted the joke to be over now. He clutched the bed either side of him, watching the man leaning in closer to examine the image on the ultrasound screen himself._

 _"You see that?" The woman asked him, getting a nod out of the older man._

 _"Give us the room, will you?" Doctor Patrick dismissed them, giving Nick some of his privacy back. He sat himself down, moving the device across Nick's stomach to take a look for himself. He paused a moment to examine something, before he turned to look at the confused patient in front of him. "Mr Stokes, have you ever been diagnosed with Klinefelter syndrome or as Intersexed?"_

 _"No... I don't think so." He shook his head. "What is it? What's wrong with me?"_

 _"I've only ever seen this once before in my time as a gynaecologist, so we don't really have a name for it yet. Klinefelter syndrome can affect one in one thousand births. It's a condition where men like yourself are born with two X chromosomes, rather than the typical one. Usually the condition can be diagnosed around puberty, when the male doesn't develop normally. Intersexed individuals are born with several variations of characteristics, chromosomes, gonads, hormones and genitals."_

 _"Why are you tellin' me all of this?"_

 _Doctor Patrick turned the computer monitor to face his patient, carefully moving the device across his stomach. "In some cases, it can be difficult to diagnose. Quite often infants with ambiguous outer genitalia are surgically altered shortly after birth at the parents request. I can't see anything in your notes, but if you look here." He turned the monitor a little more, letting Nick get a better look. "You have female reproductive organs internally and obviously, male reproductive organs externally. If you look here you can see an ovary, uterus..."_

 _"That's impossible." Nick refused to believe it._

 _"Mr Stokes," The man tried to keep him put on the bed for just another minute. "There's more I'm afraid. I can see on your notes that you've been experiencing pain and it's starting to get worse. If we look over here towards the right side of your stomach, can you see this alright?" He made sure that Nick was looking at the monitor. "This is your uterus and that there is a developing fetus. Mr Stokes, you're pregnant."_

 _"I can't be."_

 _"I'm afraid you are. Can you see this alright?" He hovered the device over the shape that looked a lot like a baby, sending a chill down Nick's spine. He had seen his sisters pregnancy ultrasounds over the years and this looked just like that, only it was inside him and his stomach really wasn't that big. "By the size and the development of the fetus, I'd guess you're pretty far along too. Five... six months maybe. Mr Stokes, please." He stopped him from getting up again. "I know how confusing this must be, but it's a good thing you came in today. We need to get you both checked out and figure out why you're in pain."_

 _Nick stayed put on the bed for a moment longer, wishing he would just say the word 'cancer'. He understood that word. He was prepared for that word. He wasn't ready for this. He suddenly thought back to his phone call with his mother, wishing she was here with him._

 _Hell, he was starting to wish that anyone could be here with him, just to assure him that this was just a practical joke._

 _Unfortunately for Nick, they weren't joking. The longer he stuck around at the hospital, the more evidence he got of his baby's existence and the symptoms he had been experiencing all added up. He now had blood tests, urine tests, ultrasounds and three different doctors explaining his situation to him in the simplest terms they could think of._

 _It was really true. He was five months pregnant with Greg's baby and he was terrified._

 _Before he could even get used to the idea of being pregnant with a real baby or being different for that matter, Nick started fainting at work. First time it happened, he almost fell straight through a table at the lab. He shrugged it off to his co-worker, giving the excuse that he skipped lunch that day. When he fell to the ground chasing a suspect a few days later, he completely doubled over with pain, unable to get back up again. Thankfully, Sara was with him at the time. She rushed to his side, calling an ambulance for him and stuck with him all the way to the hospital._

 _When the doctor gave him the diagnosis 'placental abruption', Nick felt tears burning in his eyes at the thought of losing the one thing he had to hold onto from Greg. He tried to listen to the doctor explaining the procedure of the emergency c-section, but all he could think about was how disappointed Greg would be when he found out._

 _The doctors promptly put him under, whisking him away to surgery, before he even had time to call his mother. He had vivid dreams about a future with Greg while he was under, waking up to find a stabbing pain in his stomach and a line in his arm, pumping new blood into his body._

 _"Hey, I was wondering when you were going to wake up." Sara appeared beside him, presenting him with a smile. "Don't try to get up... you're okay." She reassured him, gently brushing her fingers through his hair. "Hey, you scared me. Collapsing, emergency surgery... what's going on with you?"_

 _"I..." As the feeling returned to his fingers, Nick reached out a hand for his stomach, realising that he felt empty. He didn't even know that he had a baby growing in there a few weeks ago, but he already knew that his baby was gone, before he even spoke to any doctors. He shook his head in Sara's direction, hoping she would just leave it at that._

 _Only his parents knew about his situation and they weren't about to tell anyone about it._

 _"Nick, people don't just collapse for no reason." She didn't let it go. "Do you want me to call Greg?"_

 _"No." He quickly shook his head, attempting to adjust himself on the bed. Even the slightest movement sent pain shooting through his entire body. He crashed back against the bed, giving out a deep breath He still felt a little dazed, but he was sure of one thing. He didn't want Greg to see him like this. "Don't call him, I'm fine."_

 _"Nick, you're lying in a hospital bed, barely recovering after a major surgery. What's going on? The doctors won't tell me anything."_

 _"I just... I don't want anyone to know." He held his side, wishing they had given him a stronger pain killer. "Can you leave me alone for a bit?"_

 _Sara looked a little reluctant to leave at first, but she decided that a coffee run was needed anyway. "Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. But we are going to talk. Whatever this is, you can't go through it alone. I'm here for you, Nick." She gently held his hand a moment, before she left the room. She made her way down to the coffee machine at the end of the hall, filling a Styrofoam cup with the only drinkable liquid that came out of the machine._

 _"Is that Mr Stokes' results?" A doctor spoke up behind her, speaking to the nurse behind the desk. Sara watched the two of them talking, inching a little closer to try and hear what they were discussing. She knew that she shouldn't invade her friends privacy like that, but she was concerned about his health. "Looks like we managed to control the bleeding. Keep him on half hourly obs. I'll be back to check on him in a moment."_

 _"How is the baby doing?" The nurse quickly asked, before the older man could leave._

 _"Not great at the moment." The doctor shook his head, scratching his forehead. "He's weak. When Mr Stokes wakes up, we'll discuss options."_

 _Sara watched the two of them separating, slowly making her way back to Nick's room. He had fallen asleep again, giving her a moment to examine his chart hanging from the end of his bed. It didn't make any sense, why would he be going through something like an emergency caesarean section? The more she read, the less sense it started to make._

 _Twenty nine weeks gestation. Placental abruption. Emergency c-section._

 _Although she understood all the terms, why would they be in reference to her male colleague. She dropped the chart back into place, breathing softly a moment, before something caught her eye. She lifted the chart again, feeling the blood draining from her face as she saw the term 'Intersexed' listed under the patients gender._

 _They couldn't possibly be talking about Nick, but his name, address, even his occupation were correct._

 _"Sara." The man croaked, watching her quickly dropping the chart against his bed again. He adjusted himself against his pillow, feeling very uncomfortable by the way she was staring at him. "What did you...?"_

 _"You were pregnant?" Sara blurted it right out. "Why didn't you tell someone?"_

 _The look on her face was exactly the look he had been trying to avoid. He already had to live through the looks his parents were giving him. He couldn't face the looks from his friends too. "What are you talkin' about?" He decided to lie, but Sara had a handful of evidence at her fingertips._

 _"Damn it, Nick. Don't lie to me. It says it all right here. You were twenty nine weeks pregnant. When you were chasing that suspect today, you suffered a placental abruption, so they had to perform an emergency c-section to get the baby out, before he was deprived of too much oxygen. Now you're lying here with a c-section scar and he's down in the neonatal intense care unit. You can't deny any of that, because it's all right here."_

 _Staring at Sara a moment, Nick dropped his jaw, realising what she said._

 _"He?" He asked, feeling as though his baby was suddenly more real. He never even asked about his baby's gender. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. His mother was pushing him to adopt the baby out once it was born, so he had only ever referred to it as an it._

 _But he was a he and he was real._

 _"He's a boy?" Nick felt a smile tugging at his lips. "Is that really what it says?"_

 _"You didn't know?" She gave him a curious look._

 _"Where is he?" He asked, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Can I see him?"_

 _"I..." Sara shook her head, feeling guilty for yelling at him. "I heard the doctor say that he doesn't look good. Nick, wait." She put her hands on his shoulders, stopping him from trying to get up. "You'll pop your stitches or something. Your chart says you lost a lot of blood during surgery. I guess that's why you've got that thing running into your arm." She motioned towards the drip in his arm. "Why didn't you tell someone about this? Did Greg know before he left?"_

 _"No." Nick shook his head slightly. "You can't tell him either. Please Sara, I don't want any of them to know. The way they would look at me... please, you can't tell them. I couldn't bear it." He begged her with tears streaming down his cheeks._

 _Sara sighed softly, gently lifting Nick's hand into hers. "Of course," She nodded slightly, feeling guilty again. "I won't tell. But we're your friends Nick, your family. We'll always be here for you."_

 _"I don't want them to know what I am." He continued to shake his head, tears running down the side of his face into his hair. "I'm not who you think I am. I'm not even what you think I am. I'm different... wrong." He sniffled back his tears, looking up into her eyes. "You can't tell anyone. Please, Sara."_

 _The woman continued to nod her head, clutching his hand a little tighter. "You're still the same Nick to me. I won't tell anyone, you have my word." She patted the back of his hand, trying to remember the last time she saw Nick look so vulnerable. She had always thought of her co-workers as her brothers, but now she felt as though Nick was her real brother in desperate need of protecting._

 _When the doctor finally came by to fill them in about what had gone on, Sara was the one who practically insisted that he allow them to see the baby. The climb into a wheelchair was the most painful experience he had felt in his life, until Nick was sat in front of the weak little skeleton of a baby in the intense care unit. His heart immediately sank. His baby boy was so fragile, so weak he couldn't even manage breathing on his own._

 _Nick hesitantly reached his hand through a hole in the side on the crib, touching the tip of his finger to his baby boy's tiny head. He didn't think he was really alive, until his little arm suddenly stretched out to the side. He had tubes and wires covering every inch of him, but he still managed to stretch his arm out, curling his little fingers into his palm. A moment later he kicked his foot into the air, making a noise that almost sounded like a cry, before he curled his arms and legs close to his body again._

 _"Hi, baby boy." Nick beamed a wide smile at him, feeling completely in love with this tiny human he had only just met. He watched his son's eyes trying to open for the first time, realising that there was no way he could ever give him up._

 _He already loved him more than anything in the world._

* * *

Rummaging through the bottom of his closet, Nick pushed aside the clothes he hadn't worn in a long time, finally laying his hands on the suitcase he was after. He dragged it out from under the box of his son's old clothes, pulling it to the middle of his bedroom. The last time he used it must have been nearly two years ago now, so it was a little dusty. He swept the fur off the zipper that had built up over the years, before he attempted to open it, realising that it had been stuffed with old things from around the house.

The first item that popped out was a onesie that Evan hadn't fit into for years and it still smelt of baby powder. He breathed in the familiar scent, before he lay the little outfit down on the floor, almost wishing he was still that size.

His life seemed a lot less complicated then.

Nick reached into the bag for the next item, flipping through a few of his son's saved drawings and artwork. He made so many during the years of pre-K and Kindergarten that they only ended up spending a few days on the fridge each, before they were replaced by his latest creation. He smiled as he stumbled across the clay dinosaur that Evan made and painted purple with orange spots. The tail broke off before he even made it to the car, but Evan took it to bed every night for a month after he brought it home.

Setting the dinosaur aside, Nick turned back to the suitcase, lifting out all the adorable clothes that no longer fit his son. He felt his heart ache as he found the little stuffed monkey beneath the clothes. The little stuffed monkey that one of the neonatal nurse's bought for him after his little baby boy was rushed away for emergency open heart surgery.

"Daddy?" His own little monkey came stumbling into the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Hey, baby." He slid his hands beneath Evan's arms, lifting him over the case into his embrace. He pressed a kiss to his little cheek, breathing in the natural scent of his hair. He loved his sleepy morning cuddles with his son. The way his hair stuck to one side of his face and the adorable glazed look in his eyes.

The thought of never being able to see him again down in that coffin terrified him more than the thought of dying.

"Good Mornin'." Nick smiled against his forehead, clutching him as tightly as he could without hurting him. "Did you sleep well, my little monkey?" He gave him a playful tickle, pressing another kiss to his forehead.

Evan giggled softly, giving the man a slight nod. He sat himself in his father's lap, lifting the stuffed monkey out of his hands. "Why is this out, Daddy?" He gave him a curious look.

"My case? Well, I need to start packin' for our vacation away. We're goin' away for thanksgivin', remember? Our flight is this afternoon, so we've gotta get packin'." He held his son in place with a hand on his chest, pulling the case a little closer. "I didn't realise there was so much stuff in here though."

"Was that mine?" He pointed towards the very small body suit on top.

"Once upon a time it was." Nick smiled at him, holding the tiny outfit in the palm of his hand. He couldn't believe it himself, but his baby boy really was that tiny once. "Can you believe you used to be that small?"

"No." Evan shook his head in disbelief, leaning forwards to look through the case himself. He chose the photo album first, completely bursting with baby pictures. "Is that me, Daddy?" He opened it across his legs, finding page after page of a baby.

"Yeah... I think you were nearly a month old in that one." He rested his chin on his son's head, watching his inquisitive little mind studying it closer. "You used to wrap your little fingers so tightly around mine. It didn't matter how sick you got... you always had a strong little grip to let me know that you were still fightin'."

Evan presented him with an adorable little smile, before he reached out for another photo spilling out of the album. "Is this me too?"

"Yep, that's you." He smiled at the memory, clutching his son close. "That's the first time I ever got to hold you. The doctors told me you were too fragile to hold before that. You were all skin and bones... as delicate as a butterfly, until you were nearly seven months old. First time I held you, I never wanted to put you down."

"Is that Grandma?" Evan let go of the picture, reaching into the case for another that had fallen out.

"Yep, that's me in her arms when I was a baby. I was bald when I was born. You were born with a full head of hair." He playfully ruffled his fingers through his son's adorable pillow creased hair, pressing his kiss to the top of his head. "You know we're gonna have to cut this soon. It's gettin' a little shabby." He brushed the bangs from his eyes, smiling as he looked into his eyes. "You could get a buzz cut like me. Little bit of fade on the side." He suggested, combing his fingers through his adorable shabby mess.

"No... Daddy... no." Evan giggled softly, squirming in his father's arms as he started to playfully tickle him. "I don't want it cut."

"You don't want your hair cut like mine? What's wrong with my hair cut?" He stopped tickling him, seeing more of Greg in his features, now that he had been reunited with the younger man. He brushed his thumb across his cheek, falling in love with him all over again. "You gotta stop growin' up, baby boy."

"I not a baby." He adorably pouted his lip out at him.

"You'll always be _my_ baby boy." Nick put his arms around his baby, hugging him close as they continued to flick through the rest of the photos. Evan seemed more fascinated with the photos from Nick's childhood growing up on the ranch than any of the others, giving him the chance to talk about his own childhood.

"Who's that Daddy?" Evan stumbled across a picture of his father, holding a sleeping young man in his arms.

Nick lifted the photo from his hands, brushing his thumb across the image. He was tempted to blurt it all out and tell him that he was his other father, but he worried that it would only confuse him at this point.

But then again, he really didn't want to lie to him again. He had been doing that all his life.

"This is Greg." He spoke softly, letting him hold the picture again, while he built up the courage to tell him the truth. He thought it should have been easier than all the lies he had been keeping track of over the years, but it felt as though this part of his explanation was the real betrayal to his son.

"My middle name is Gregory." Evan realised.

"Yeah... it is. I named you after him because he's very special to me. He's very special to both of us actually." Nick put his arms around his son, resting his chin on his forehead. He held him securely in his arms a moment, before he decided that now was the time to tell him. "Hey, I've... I've got somethin' to tell you, baby."

"What is it?" He gave him the most adorable look.

"Well uh..." Nick gulped softly, looking at the picture in his son's hands. "I... I've been tellin' you somethin' that isn't... I told you somethin' a little while ago that isn't... quite true."

"Like a lie?" Evan tilted his head back against the man's shoulder, giving him a curious look.

"Yeah... a lie." He admitted, anxiously licking his lips. "Do you know the difference between tellin' a lie and tellin' the truth?"

Evan shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Grandma says lying is when you make something up that didn't happen and it's bad to lie."

The last thing that Nick wanted to do was teach his son that being dishonest was okay, so he nodded his head, admitting to his lie. "That is... exactly right. Lyin' is bad." He breathed in a deep breath, feeling his heart racing as he tried to build up the courage to tell him. "Remember when you asked me where you came from... how you were born? And I... I told you that you had a mother who isn't here anymore."

His voice broke a little, admitting the horrible lie he had told the one person he loved more than anything in the world.

"Well, it... it's not quite true. Not true at all, actually." He picked at a thread on the side of the case, breathing in another deep breath. "I made it up... because I wasn't ready to tell you the truth yet. But I shouldn't have done it."

Evan narrowed his brows together, giving his father a more confused look.

"See... we don't have any pictures of your mother... because you were born a little differently." Nick put his arms around his son, trying to steady his breathing, before he burst into a full blown panic attack.

"Am I adopted?" Evan asked when his father remained silent.

It was tempting to say 'yes' at this point to avoid all the other questions, but he couldn't do that to him. He had lied to him for long enough. "No baby, you're not adopted." He tightened his arms around him. "You're my baby. You belong to me. You belong to Greg too. We're both your parents." He said it out loud for the first time, feeling a little more at ease now that it was out. "You're my baby boy, because you grew in my tummy. You don't have a mother like most of the other kids at your school... because I'm a little different."

"I grew in your tummy?" He looked a little confused again.

"Yeah, you know the scar I have across my tummy? That's where you came from. You were born early because I had some complications while you were still growin' in my tummy. The doctors had to give me an operation to get you out to save us both, that's why you were in the incubator for so long and I have this scar to remind me of where you came from."

Evan still looked a little confused, but he seemed to be taking it in a lot better than he was expecting. He hadn't run off or said that he hated him yet, so he took it as a good sign. His story of his fake mother obviously wasn't that believable to him after all.

"I loved you the first moment that I saw you and I'll never stop lovin' you either. I'll always be your Daddy, no matter what happens, but Greg... he's your Daddy too."

"I have two Daddy's?" Evan furrowed his brow in the man's direction. "Why he not here? Did he die?"

"No, no... he didn't die." Nick quickly shook his head, looking back at the picture in their hands. "Greg... he... he didn't know that I was carryin' you in my tummy. He left for a job before you were even born. He lived in a completely different city to us. You know like Grandma and Granddad do, but he was much further away." He made sure that his son was still following him, before he continued, "When I was with him, I loved him very much. I still love him now... and I miss him terribly, because without him, I would have never of had you." He held his son a little closer, pressing his lips to the top of his head. "I love you so, so, so very much, baby boy. Havin' you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn't mean to lie to you about it. I was just..."

"Where is he?" Evan interrupted him.

"Uh... Greg? Actually, he... he's just moved back to Las Vegas." Nick confessed, smiling slightly as his son was more concerned about knowing more about Greg than the fact that he had lied to him. "He's livin' back here in the city with us. Would you... would you wonna meet him one day?" He nervously asked him.

Evan shrugged his shoulders together, keeping his eyes fixated on the photo in his hands.

"Hey, are you with me, bud?"

Evan squirmed in his arms, giggling softly as his father playfully kissed his neck. "Daddy." He adjusted himself in his lap, holding the picture a little tighter as he studied the other man in it. "Do I have to call him Daddy?"

"No, not if you don't want to. I guess it could get a little confusin'." Nick picked out another adorable photo of Greg, letting his son take a look at it. "Do you understand though? That he's your Daddy too?"

"What's he like?"

"Greg..." He suddenly felt at a loss for words. A thousand words popped into his head all at once. He never thought he'd have to describe him to their son though. "He's... he's smart. Really smart. He can figure things out just by lookin' at them. His mind is constantly goin'... a bit like you, little monkey." He gave him a playful tickle. "He's funny. Really strong willed. He always puts other people first. He's my best friend... my protector. He's a good man. Probably the best. I was with him for three years before I had you."

"Do I look like him?"

"Yeah... more and more every day." He brushed his fingers through his son's hair, adoring his intense look of concentration. "You have his big beautiful smile. You got my eyes, Greg's ears. These beautiful little moles you got from him." Nick dotted his finger between the tiny moles on his cheek, giving him a wide smile. "You're a part of me and a part of Greg."

"Daddy..." He tilted his head back to look at him again. "Do you still love him?"

"I do... with all my heart. If it wasn't for Greg, I wouldn't have had you. I hope that one day, you'll love him too." Nick watched his son curiously looking between the photos he had in his hands, wishing he could be inside his head just for moment, so he could see if he understood what he was trying to tell him. "Do you have any questions for me, baby? You can ask me anythin' you want."

"Do you have more?" Evan asked, holding onto the one he already had as though it belonged to him.

"Photos? Yes, I do." He smiled at him, reaching for the bottom of the suit case to pull out his secret stash. He pulled out a few photos he kept of his former lover, handing Evan one where he looked super cute. He was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt, tight shredded jeans and a smile that made Nick's heart throb. It was an innocent boyish grin that made him look just like Evan. His hair was a dark chestnut brown in this photo, adorably styled into a Mohawk down the centre of his head.

He remembered the day the photo was taken like it was yesterday. Their first trip to Greg's parents house together. They spent the whole afternoon at the beach after Nick mentioned that he had never even been to one before. Every moment he spent with him, he found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

Evan studied the photo for five or ten minutes, before he added it to his collection.

"Is that him too?" He pointed to the youngest picture that Nick probably owned of him, back when he first joined the lab. His eyes were so big and bright. His hair adorably messy and his wardrobe was very loud, even under the white lab coat he was wearing.

"That _is_ him." Nick nodded his head, handing it over to him. "Nearly... ten years ago now."

"Are you older than him Daddy?"

"Hey, I'm not that old." He gave his son a playful tickle, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "There's just a few years between us, but yes, I am older than him."

"When can I see him Daddy?"

"Alright, boys. That suitcase isn't going to pack itself. We're running late as it is." Jillian interrupted from the doorway, making her way into the room. She gave her son a scowl, reaching her hand out for her grandson. "C'mon Evan, let's get you dressed, sweetheart. We have to be at the airport soon." She pulled him to his feet, ushering him out of the room, before Nick gave him an answer.

"But Grandma..." Evan clutched the photos of his new father tightly, reluctantly following her back to his bedroom.

Rather than starting up another argument with his mother, Nick flipped through the remaining pictures of Greg, wondering why he had been so scared to tell him. He was his best friend, the one person he felt completely comfortable with and the one person he had always been able to talk to. He was also the only person who could get him to sleep at night after spending six feet underground.

Had his parents really brain washed him that much?

Ditching the photos back in the case, Nick crawled towards his nightstand, fetching his phone off the side. He scrolled through his contacts, feeling butterflies in his stomach as he dialled Greg's number. He waited for what felt like an eternity for the call to go through, before Greg finally picked up.

"Hey, it's me." He climbed to his feet, pushing the door to his room shut, so he could have some privacy from his mother. "Greg... are you there?" He heard soft breathing coming through the phone. "Are you still sleepin', baby?"

 _"No... I'm awake."_ Greg brushed the sleep from his eyes, adjusting himself against the pillow behind his head. He kept his eyes closed, breathing softly into the phone. _"What time is it?"_

"Uh... it's almost ten." Nick perched himself on the edge of his bed, smiling to himself as he heard his partner's breaths coming through the phone. "I can hear you snorin', Greg. Do you want me to call back later when you're not sleepin'?"

 _"No..."_ He gave out a deep breath. _"I'm here... I'm not asleep... just... keep talking."_

Chuckling softly, Nick sat himself up against the headboard, looking at the picture he still had of Greg on his nightstand. "I miss sleepin' beside you."

 _"Worst part about being single."_ Greg agreed with him. _"Before you, I never even knew what it was like to spoon. My first few months in San Francisco, I bought one of those moon shaped pillows to lay against. It was the only way I could sleep."_

"Do you still consider yourself single, G?" Nick queried, wondering where he stood with him now.

 _"Do you?"_ He reversed the question around on him. He opened his eyes as Nick remained silent, listening to his soft breaths of nervousness coming through the phone. _"You know how I feel about you, Nicky. You must know how much I love you. I know that I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but I was an idiot for leaving you behind. Leaving you is and will always be my biggest regret."_

Brushing his hand across his face, Nick smiled into his phone, even though he felt as though he was about to cry. He brushed his finger across the photo, wondering if he would still feel the same when the truth came out. "Yeah... I've got some regrets of my own. I wish I could take you back with me, G. I know thanksgivin' with my folks isn't exactly your idea of a good time, but our first thanksgivin' together was at the ranch."

 _"I remember. Still my best one yet."_ He grinned into his phone, glad his mother wasn't around to hear him say that.

"Mine too." Nick agreed, picking at a loose thread on his t-shirt. "Are you headin' back to your folks for thanksgivin', G?"

 _"No... I'm working at the lab, so I miss out."_

"Really?" Nick seemed surprised. "And your Mom is okay with that?"

 _"No, but she doesn't really have a choice. I already told Grissom I'd be working. I'm trying to get back into his good books, so I don't get stuck with trash runs all the time. I finally got Warrick talking to me, so I guess you don't all hate me."_

"I never hated you." Nick sat up straight as the door to his room burst open and his son came running inside. He let Evan climb up onto his bed, while he took the phone over the other side of the room. He watched their son bouncing up and down on the middle of the bed, smiling into the phone. "It's not possible to hate you, G. You gave me everythin' I ever wanted. I've never stopped lovin' you. I hope you know that."

Greg wiped the sleep from his eyes, letting a smile spread across his lips. _"I hope you know that I never stopped loving you either, Tex. Do me a favour and don't take any crap from your father this weekend. You're worth more than your father. A whole lot more."_

"I'll do my best." He smiled into his phone. "Same to you, don't take any crap from the rest of the team. You worked hard to get where you are. You deserve to be there. I'm proud of you." Watching Evan bouncing a little higher with an adorable smile plastered across his lips, Nick sighed softly, hoping his biggest regret wouldn't tear his life apart. "I'll call you when I get back. Be careful out there, G."

 _"I will. You be careful out there too."_ Greg spoke softly, listening to his partner breathing a moment. _"Hey Nicky... one four three forever. I'll always be here... whenever you need me, I'm just a phone call away."_

"Thank you." He wiped his eye, before a tear threatened to spill. He wished that he was with him right now, just so he could hold him in his arms.

"I'm a monkey. I'm a monkey." Evan started yelling, bouncing closer to the edge of the bed.

"I have to go. Bye, G." Nick snapped his phone shut, ditching it on the bed side table. He caught Evan in his arms mid bounce, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You know you're not supposed to bounce on the bed, little monkey. Did you brush your teeth yet?"

"Grandma said we're eating lunch soon, so I don't have to."

"Oh, is that right?" He grinned at him, lifting him down onto the floor. "Well Daddy says go and brush your teeth now. We'll be on the plane after lunch, so there will be no time to brush your teeth then." Nick ushered him in the direction of the bathroom, counting the days until he was rid of his mother. He felt as though she undermining his every decision at the moment, especially the ones regarding his son. "Hey, where'd you put the pictures of Greg?"

"On my bed." Evan jumped onto his booster stool, letting his father set up his toothbrush for him. He stuck it in his mouth, brushing his back teeth, while his father hurried back to his room to make sure his mother wasn't shredding the photos that he had kept hidden from her.

"They're not yours." Nick quickly grabbed them from her hand, catching her trying to hide them in a drawer. "I gave them to Evan, so he knows what he looks like."

"I just think it's a little sudden."

"This is my decision. Not yours. Greg's his father. Whether you like it or not, Evan knows now and he wants to meet him." Nick replaced them to his son's bed where he could find them.

"You really think that it's in Evan's best interests to meet a total stranger?"

"Yes." He rolled his eyes at her. "He's not a total stranger. He's his father. His blood. Why do you always have to treat me like I'm on trial? I've been on trial my whole friggin' life. Evan deserves to know who he is. If it wasn't for you and the way you've treated me over the years, he would already know who Greg is."

"That's not fair, Nicholas. What has gotten into you? Six weeks ago, you would have never spoken to me like this." Jillian had never been so scared of her son before. She truly believed that he might lash out and hurt her if this continued, even though she knew that her son would never intentionally hurt anyone.

"There's nothin' wrong with me. I'm just tellin' the truth for a change. Isn't this what you wanted? No more secrets. No more lies or treadin' on egg shells all the time. I don't care who knows anymore."

"What exactly are you going to tell your father this weekend?"

"I don't _need_ to tell him anythin'. He knows the truth. He knows the truth about everythin', he just refuses to believe it." Nick pointed out to her. "Call it my last ditch effort. If he can't accept me or where Evan came from or that I want to be with Greg, then that's it. I'm done with him."

"You don't mean that." His mother shook her head.

"Why not? He's done it to me." He pointed out to her, grabbing the clothes from Evan's closet to take with them on the weekend away that he was really starting to regret already. "I don't think he's ever really loved me. I would never treat Evan the way he's treated me." Nick stopped his mother from interjecting. "The way I feel about Evan... I don't think 'The Judge' has ever felt that way about me. I'm a constant source of disappointment to him and I'm sick of him rulin' every decision in my life, even when he's not even here."

Jillian stepped closer, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. "Your father loves you, Nicholas."

Nick shook his head, loading his arms up with his son's clothes. "Maybe once he did, but I haven't felt it in a long time."

"That's ridiculous."

"You see the way he treats me, Mama. You've let him get away with it for years. I was fourteen when he first started treatin' me like this."

"That's... just the way your father is." She tried to defend the man, even though she had called the man out on his behaviour towards their own children several times. She tended to avoid the subject because he always got the last word and wouldn't listen to anything she said anyway.

"Why is Billy a star for cheatin' on his wife and I'm a disappointment for wantin' to tell my son the truth then? I don't think he's capable of lovin' me anymore. I wish I could have been the son that he wanted, I really do," He turned to look at her, wondering if she even loved him anymore. "But I'm tired of tryin' to get his approval for everythin' that I do. I guess that's the one good thing that came from a near death experience. I can see what's important to me now. All I want is Greg and Evan."

Nick carried the clothes across the hall to his room, finally getting started on packing for their weekend away. He threw in a few of his own clothes, leaving just one photo of Greg inside as his safety blanket.

Without him at his side, he feared that he wouldn't be able to tell his father exactly how he felt, but he would never be rid of his influence if he didn't at least try.


	10. Chapter 9 - Home Sweet Home

**Chapter Nine - Home Sweet Home**

Dropping the axe from his hands onto the chopping block, Judge Stokes straightened up, wiping the sweat from his brow. He blinked looking out at the afternoon sun beginning to set over the ranch, realising how lucky he was to have such a view, even after all these years. It had always been his dream growing up to own a ranch of his very own. He watched his own mother and father successfully running their own cattle ranch throughout his life.

Sure he used to complain as a child about all the chores that fell on him, being the eldest child and all, but he would have been lost without the work. They gave his life structure and purpose, something that he hoped to pass onto his children one day, giving them a sense of security and self discipline.

He cast his eyes towards the driveway, spotting his eldest son's truck finally pulling in. He imagined airport traffic was pretty hectic right now, especially for a Friday afternoon the day before Thanksgiving, making him quite relieved that his son volunteered to collect his mother and younger brother so he didn't have to.

Judge Stokes stacked his arms up with as much chopped wood as he could carry, making his way back to the house. He looked out at their empty fields on his walk back, missing the days when they were filled with over three hundred cattle. Once the children moved away to start their own lives and the reliable ranch hands moved on, it was left to himself and his wife to run the ranch. They struggled to keep up with the work load, forcing them to rethink their dreams.

Auctioning off the herd he had raised was hard enough, but selling off his unused land almost broke him. He hoped to keep his land in the hands of his family, but his children all wanted to make their own decisions and run their own lives.

Running a ranch had never even entered their minds.

Dropping the logs from his arms by the back door, Judge Stokes pulled the gloves off his hands, ditching them on the ground. He stood watch a moment as his eldest climbed out of the driver's seat of his truck, running round the other side to help his mother out the passenger seat. He held her hand, helping her down the large step, before he made his way round to the back to grab their bags.

Folding his arms across his chest, the Judge watched his wife and Billy gathering their things, before they even noticed him stood watch. "Where's Nicholas?" He looked between the two of them, waiting for an answer. The back of the truck was completely empty. He couldn't even see a booster seat for Evan inside. "You said he was goin' to be here." He gave his wife an accusing look, blaming her already.

"He's here." She assured him. "They went to the park. Billy is gonna pick them up later. Evan was a little restless after the flight. You know what six years old are like in the car. This was a two and half hour flight, Bill." Jillian grabbed her purse from her son's hands, carrying it up to the house herself. She kicked off her shoes at the door, breathing in the familiar scent of home. She missed that smell. She hadn't been home in six weeks now and she was really starting to get home sick.

Ditching her bag in the front room, Jillian took a quick look around, stopping in her tracks as she reached the kitchen. Her husband wasn't exactly the cleanest person she knew, but she thought he was at least house proud or even a little bit considerate. She placed her hand over her heart, shocked at the sight of the washing up piled high in the sink. A frying pan slick with grease was on the top of the pile. Under that a baking tray that still had some sort of pie crust stuck inside. A saucepan sat beneath that, caked with a thick sauce of some kind, followed by dirty plates, coffee mugs and cutlery.

"For God's sake Bill, the dishwasher is two feet away." She cursed him while he wasn't in the room, rolling up her sleeves to get started. She was fuming already and she had barely been home five minutes. It took her at least two hours to scrub the whole kitchen clean and her husband still hadn't even given her so much as a smile for finally returning after six weeks away.

The dogs gave her more attention and that was only because it was close to dinner time.

Leaving the spotless kitchen behind, Jillian turned her attention towards the bathrooms and their shared bedroom upstairs. The bed linens hadn't been changed since she left. Her husband's dirty socks were in a pile on the floor. The laundry hamper was overflowing with his clothes and the bathroom was filthy. Towels and clothes littered the floor. Shaving foam, toothpaste and stray hairs stuck to the exterior of her sink basin and she didn't even want to look at the shower drain.

How had she been married to such a slob all these years and never realised it until now? Her six year old grandson had more discipline than this.

An hour or so later, Billy finally returned with Nick and her grandson in tow. She hurried down the stairs to greet them, eager to get them settled in, now that they had finally returned home. Neither one of them had been back to the ranch in nearly two years. She still wasn't used to having her family living so far away from her. She grew up in a household full of brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins at every family event. She always wanted to host her very own holidays one day with her own children and all her family around her, but they were all too busy with their own lives.

It had been over ten years since she last had all of her children under one roof.

"What are the extra bags for Billy?" Jillian didn't recognise some of the luggage in the doorway. She turned to give her eldest son a curious look, sensing a lie brewing, before he even opened his mouth. "Don't you lie to me, Bill Junior." She pointed a stern finger at him.

Her son breathed in a deep breath, anxiously scratching his forehead. "I was kinda hopin' that I could stay here a while."

"Oh... you're separated again?" She tried not to look too disappointed, but it was a natural reaction to the news of her son throwing his marriage away like this. "Of course you can stay here, but what about the children. They're going to start ask questions the more time you spend away from the house."

"Mama, I don't need you buttin' in. This is our problem, let us deal with it on our own. I've already got Dad on my case. I don't need you on my back too." Billy pulled his cell out of his pocket. "Mind if I use Dad's study to make a few calls?"

"Go ahead. I'm gonna get started on making us some dinner. It shouldn't be too long." She folded her arms across her chest. "But we're going to have to talk about this eventually, Bill Junior!" Jillian turned her attention towards her other son, watching him staring helplessly at his phone. "It's never going to ring if you keep staring at it, sweetheart. Why don't you get out and enjoy some fresh air with your son?"

"We've been outside in the fresh air for hours." Nick pointed out to her, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. "Dad's with him in the garden." He grabbed his suitcase, taking it towards the stairs. "I'm gonna crash for a while. Is my room still...?"

"Yeah, it's still your room. Fresh sheets and all." She gave him a smile. "We're probably going to get a full house this weekend, so Evan can bunk in with you. Dinner won't be long."

"Okay. Can you keep an eye on him for a while?"

"Evan? Sure, he'll be fine with your father for a while. They'll probably be inseparable by the end of the weekend. Just like you two were at that age." Jillian checked on her grandson out the window, turning back to look at her son, but he had already disappeared up the stairs. She almost wished that he was Evan's age again. He was easier to understand when he was younger and she didn't worry about him so much.

Evan ran round the back of the house, dropping his jaw in amazement at the sight of the endless fields surrounding them. He immediately started to run, acting as though he had never experienced freedom before in his life.

"Don't you ever tire out, young man?" The Judge folded his arms across his chest, smiling at his grandson as he raced around with the dogs. He reminded him so much of his own son, but he never remembered Nicholas being that full of energy at that age. Nick was tough to keep up with, but he had always been more shy and reserved compared to his brother and sisters.

Evan was the complete opposite to Nick. It was as though they weren't even related at all.

"Hey Evan, c'mere a moment." He knelt down, ushering his grandson over. He caught him in his arms as he got closer, adoring his messy hairstyle. "You're gettin' so big already. How old are you now?"

"Six." Evan jumped with joy. "I was this many." He held up five of his fingers. "But I had my birthday."

"Yeah, I remember. You're gettin' bigger and bigger every time I see you. Pretty soon you're gonna be taller than me." Judge Stokes lifted his grandson into his arms, ignoring the pain in his lower back as he straightened up. He missed his own children being this young. His biggest regret was not being around more when they were small. He tended to leave them in the hands of their mother when they were young, not quite sure what to do with them. It wasn't until they started bringing around children of their own that he realised what he had missed out on.

"Granddad, why can't we live here with you?" Evan curiously asked him.

"Because your father seems to think that Las Vegas is what's best for you both. Sin City is the worst place to live, especially for someone as easily influenced as your father." He undermined another one of Nick's decisions, carrying his grandson towards the house. "I would love it if you could live here with me. You need structure, routine... you could help me run this ranch someday, would you like that?"

"Yeah." Evan grinned widely, waving to his grandmother as they stepped into the house. "Grandma, Daddy pushed me really high on the swings. I went up into the sky." He practically jumped out of his Grandfather's arms, running to her side. "I could see the moon!"

"Wow." Jillian smiled in his direction, quickly making the finishing touches to their dinner. "Go wash your hands please, Evan. Dinner is ready. Tell your father while you're up there and Uncle Billy, he should be in the study." She pushed her husband aside to get to the table, choosing to ignore him for now, since he couldn't even say so much as a 'hello' to her.

Evan hurried down the hall to his Grandfather's study first, bouncing straight through the door. He prowled around the desk like a dinosaur while his Uncle was distracted by his phone, jumping towards the man with a growl. "Rawr!" He playfully sunk his claws into Uncle's arm. "It's... dinner time!"

Billy scooped him up, playfully tickling him in his arms. He hung him upside down as he continued to giggle, shaking his head at the miniature version of his baby brother. "You crazy lil hooligan. You lost all your teeth yet?"

"Nope." Evan sat himself upright, opening his mouth really wide, so the man could see inside his mouth. "This one is w-eally wobbly. When I brushed this one, it fell out." He stuck his finger over a gap in his gum.

"Oh yeah, I see. Did you put it under your pillow for the tooth fairy?"

Evan shook his head, looking a little sad. "It went down the drain."

"Oh no, that sucks." Billy lifted him to his feet, playfully ruffling his fingers through his hair. "You need a haircut, kiddo. You're startin' to look like a hippie."

"I don't want a haircut."

"No? Your Daddy never did either. We used to have to hold him down to give him a quick trim. He had a fishbowl haircut until he was ten." Billy ushered him out of his father's office so he didn't start poking through his things, making sure he locked the door behind him.

Evan scurried away up the stairs on all fours before he could catch him, bursting through the door to his father's childhood bedroom. He searched around for his father, finding him sat on the floor in the bathroom with his back against the tub.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" He crashed into the man's arms, laying himself back against his father's chest with an adorable grin plastered across his lips. "Why are you sad?"

"I'm not sad." Nick immediately put his arms around him, clutching him tightly in his embrace. "I was just thinkin'." He pressed a kiss to his son's forehead, gently combing his fingers through his hair. "Did you see Granddad yet?"

"Yeah, he said we can live with him and I can run the ranch."

"I bet he did." Nick wondered what else he had filled his son's head with. "Do you remember what I told you about Greg this mornin'?"

Evan nodded his head, stretching himself out across his father's lap. "He's my Daddy."

"That's right, baby boy." He kissed his forehead. "Your Granddad and Greg don't really get on. Granddad never thought that Greg was good enough for me. He never gave him a chance really. He just decided that he didn't like him from the first moment he saw him..." He stopped himself before he said something that he couldn't take back. "If he ever says anything to you about Greg, you have to tell me, okay?"

"Why doesn't he like him Daddy?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders together, gently brushing his fingers through his son's hair. "Granddad is just very picky about people. He didn't want me to be with Greg, so he decided that he wasn't goin' to like him. If he gave Greg a chance, they might actually get along. Greg's father used to take him sailin' as a kid. He loves the water, just like Granddad does. You know that Granddad loves those Mafia crime boss movies?"

Evan nodded his head.

"Greg loves those movies. He loves to read and learn about the real crime bosses of Las Vegas too. Greg collects old coins. Granddad has a huge collection of old coins. If he would just talk to him, he would see that he's not what he thinks he is." Nick pursed his lips together, wishing his father would just listen to him. "Greg's a good man. He's an amazin' person. Don't ever let anyone tell you different, okay?"

"Okay." Evan nodded his head slightly, giggling softly as his father gave him a playful tickle. "One four three, Daddy."

"One four three forever, baby." He hugged him closer, pressing his lips to his forehead. He held him securely in his arms for the longest moment, until Evan pulled back, remembering why he had to find his father in the first place.

"Daddy, Grandma said dinner is ready."

"Oh, okay. Wash your hands then, bud. I'll be down in a minute." He lifted his son to his feet, supervising him washing his hands. He really didn't want to go down there himself. He knew his father would have questions or snide comments from him that he really didn't want to hear right now.

Evan raced down the stairs once his hands were clean, weaving through the grownups to get to the table. He pulled himself up onto one of the chairs, kneeling on the seat so he was high enough to reach the table.

"Hold on a minute, sweetheart. You have to wait until everyone is at the table first. It's rude to eat before everyone is seated." Jillian stopped him from lunging across the table for some food. She gave him a smile as he reluctantly sat back in his seat, watching everyone getting themselves a drink and things, before they finally made their way to their seats. "Billy c'mon, your nephew's getting impatient."

"Alright, alright... I'm gettin'." Billy sat himself down, glancing towards the stairs as his little brother emerged. He had never seen his brother look so pale and lethargic before. He looked as though he was at deaths door, but he still managed to drag himself down the stairs, sitting himself down beside his son. "When was the last time you got some kip, Nicky? You look awful."

"Thanks." Nick remarked, brushing his fingers through his hair as their father joined them at the table. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt, anxiously biting his bottom lip as his father started to say grace. He hated it when his father used to put him on the spot to say it. He hated it even more when his father used to beg the lords forgiveness for the sins of his son at the dinner table in front of everyone, just to make a point.

After the man said grace without embarrassing him, everyone dug into their meals, focusing more on the food in front of them, rather than any kind of conversation. Tensions were definitely high and Nick sensed that it was all to do with him.

He had never felt so cold and alone in his childhood home before.

Evan managed to sit still for the first ten minutes, but his hyperactivity kicked in before their meal was over. He started to sing as he stabbed the steak on his plate, kicking his legs back and forth off the chair that started to annoy his Grandfather, especially when his knee repeatedly banged against the bottom of the table.

"Evan, stop." The man gave him a stern look.

Not taking the man seriously, Evan's lips spread into a devilish grin as he continued to swing his legs back and forth. "I went on a air plane." He climbed to his feet on his chair, making a whooshing sound as he stabbed his fork back into his steak. "We went really high up."

"Oh, yeah?" His Uncle Billy grinned across the table at him. "Did you like that? My kids are terrified of heights. They won't get on a plane with me anymore."

"I like flying. It's cool." Evan declared, fidgeting on his seat again. "Grandma, where are the dogs?"

"They're probably outside running around, before they have to come in for bed. Put your leg down, Evan. Feet go on the floor, not chairs." She gave her grandson a smile as he immediately put his leg down, sitting himself up straight. "If you eat up all of those vegetables on your plate, you can walk the dogs with me after dinner."

He really didn't like the taste of any green vegetables, except maybe peas, but he wolfed every last one of them down at the thought of being able to walk the dogs.

Leaving his father and Uncle Billy with the washing up, Evan hurried out the door with his Grandmother, running as fast as the dogs across the ranch. Jillian caught up to him as they reached the gate to the footpath, putting a tennis ball in his hand to keep the dogs following his lead.

"Boy's gettin' big." Billy made awkward small talk with his brother. "First grade already?"

"Yeah, I thought he would hate it. He used to scream for me not to leave him in Kindergarten. He can't wait to go back to school everyday though. He comes home ravin' about every little thing that happened." Nick washed another plate, handing it to his brother beside him. "I told him about, Greg." He made sure his father was out of earshot, waiting for a reaction on his brother's face.

"And... how'd he take it?"

Nick cracked a smile, shrugging his shoulders together. "A lot better than I thought he would. Kinda makes me wonder why I was so afraid that he would find out in the first place."

Billy looked round to make sure their father was preoccupied with his newspaper, leaning in closer to his younger brother. "Dad didn't exactly leave you with a whole lot of options. Threatenin' to take your child away from you while he's still in neonatal care would scare anyone into silence. If I had been in your position, I think I would have done the same thing."

"Yeah, right." Nick muttered.

"Hey," Billy put his back to the counter, looking into his brother's eyes. "This thing... it could have happened to any one of us. It's not your fault that you were born... different. You're still my brother, no matter what, you'll always be my brother. If Dad threatens you with this custody thing again, I'll back you up every step of the way. Evan deserves to know the truth. He deserves to live with his father too. You're not a kid anymore, Nick. You can't let Dad dictate your life anymore."

"Is that why you're livin' back here, rather than tryin' to repair your marriage?" He smiled at his older brother, handing him another plate. "When was the last time you actually saw your kids?"

"I pick them up from school every day, much to their dislike. Teenagers aren't like six year olds, Nick. They want you as far away from them as possible, until they need some money." Billy gave him a word of warning. "I think it's safe to say that my marriage is well and truly over this time. Dad had nothin' to do with it. It's all down to me. Martha's filed for divorce. The papers arrived at my office the other day. I've been sleepin' on an old roommates couch for the last few weeks."

"Oh..." Nick spoke softly. "Sorry."

"Why?" His older brother shrugged his shoulders together. "It's my own fault."

"Didn't Martha cheat on you?" He repeated a bit of gossip he heard from his sister, Kayla.

"Paybacks a bitch." Billy muttered softly, stacking the plate on the shelf above them. "I cheated on her first. I know it doesn't make it right, but I guess now we're even. I got what I deserved. Let's face it, my marriage was over long ago. We haven't gotten along in years. The most time we've talked in the past ten years is when I reversed my car into hers in the driveway." He smirked, grabbing the next plate. "We figured that stayin' together for the sake of the kids isn't fair on them if we're always at each other's throats. It's not as though they're really kids anymore. Teenagers don't give a crap what you do, just as long as you stay out of their lives while you do it."

"Isn't your youngest twelve?" Nick gave him a curious look.

"I wish. At twelve she was still into makin' those little elastic bracelets and bedazzlin' everythin' with a ridiculous amount of gems. She's a fourteen year old nightmare now." He shook his head. "And she's a right little madam too. The new boyfriend wears backwards caps in my house and his pants around his ankles. His only accomplishment at school seems to be the record for most detentions. He's convinced her that they're goin' to Hollywood to become big shot movie stars."

Nick smirked, shaking his head at his brother. "Mama tried to warn you."

"Yeah you laugh now, but you've got it all to come with Evan. Do yourself a favour and don't have any more. Kids are overrated."

"That's easy for you to say. You've got eight of them."

Billy straightened up as their father came over, taking the dish towel out of his hands.

"Give me a moment with your brother, Billy." Judge Stokes ushered his eldest away, grabbing the next plate from Nick's hands. "Pancho, you don't look as though you've slept since the last time I saw you. Are you still takin' the sedatives the doctor prescribed you at the hospital?"

"No, I stopped them ages ago."

"Well that wasn't very wise. Were you told to stop them or did you just decide that on your own?"

"I don't like feelin' drowsy all the time, so I stopped them." Nick tried not to snap, but he hated the way his father always spoke to him. "The doctor said it was okay. They were just supposed to be temporary."

"But if you're still not sleepin', maybe you should be back on them."

"I'm not sleepin' because my nightmares keep me awake. Pills can't solve that." He snapped this time.

"There's no need to snap at me, Nicholas. I'm just concerned. You never answer your phone, so how am I supposed to know how you're doin'?" Judge Stokes put down the plate from his hands, waiting for the next. "Are you talkin' to someone about your nightmares? Post traumatic stress can affect anyone, especially someone who's been through what you have."

"I don't have post traumatic stress." Nick argued with him.

Judge Stokes disappeared for a moment, returning with a handful of printed papers that he had found during his research online. "Post traumatic stress can develop in anyone after sufferin' a traumatic event, such as a threat on a person's life." He read from the top, not noticing his son rolling his eyes. "Symptoms may include disturbin' dreams, thoughts, feelin's of bein' under attack..."

"Dad." Nick cut him off there. "I don't have post traumatic stress."

Judge Stokes held his finger up to him, while he continued. "Early intervention appears to be a critical preventive measure. Those with post traumatic stress disorder are at higher risk of suicide..."

"Dad." He tried to cut him off again.

"Most symptoms develop in the first month after trauma, however in a minority of cases, there may be a delay for months or even years after, before symptoms start to appear..."

"Dad, I don't..."

"Re-experiencin' memories is the most typical symptom of post traumatic stress disorder. The person can experience flashbacks of the events, recurring nightmares, repetitive and distressin' images or sensations. Physical sensations can also occur when confronted with similar surroundings or feelin's related to the traumatic event, such as pain, sweating, nausea..."

"Dad!" Nick yelled at him this time, throwing down the next plate into the water, sending bubbly water flying in all directions. "I don't have post traumatic stress. Would you just listen to me for once in your life?"

"I always listen to you." He scowled at his son.

"No, you don't. I've been screamin' at you for years about what I think or how I feel, but you don't hear a word I say."

"Avoidin' the situation is also a common sign of post traumatic stress disorder." Judge Stokes consulted the papers in his hands again, catching his son rolling his eyes this time. "Irritability, anger outbursts, sleepin' problems... all symptoms of post traumatic stress. The longer you avoid this, the worse it's goin' to get, Nicholas. It can lead to depression, anxiety, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, self harmin', suicide. It doesn't only affect you either, it'll start to effect the people around you... where are you goin'?"

"I'm done bein' ignored by you." Nick dried his hands, tossing it onto the side.

"Don't be so dramatic, Nicholas. I'm just tryin' to help you. Just like I tried to while you were stuck out there somewhere underground. I put everythin' I owned on the line for you. My position as a Judge, this ranch, our animals, my grandchildren's futures, mine and your mother's retirement, all of that for you and this is the thanks I get?"

"What do you want from me, Cisco? I've done everythin' that you've ever asked of me, but it's still not enough for you."

"Everythin' I've ever asked?" Judge Stokes smirked, shaking his head at his youngest. "That's a laughable statement. You've never done anythin' I've asked. Did you come and work at the DA's office with me after you finished college? No, you decided that you had better things to do. That ridiculous year you spent as a police officer, before you decided to join the lab. But that wasn't enough for you either. You had to move all the way to Las Vegas, right after I got you the internship at my office. Then you come home and tell us that you're seein' a man. Did you stop seein' him when I asked you to?" He pointed an accusing finger at him. "No, you didn't. You continued seein' him then went and got yourself pregnant with his kid. Did you stop and think for even a moment about my feelin's when you went against our wishes and decided to keep the baby?"

"I didn't want strangers raisin' my son." Nick stopped him there. "He's my child. My flesh and blood. Everyone else in this family gets to keep and raise their kids, why can't I?"

"That's selfish, Nicholas. He would have been better off with people who didn't know where he came from."

"How can you say that? You love that child."

"Because it's not his fault that he was born from... an abomination. But he doesn't belong here with you." He looked down his nose at his son. "Did you get him checked out yet?"

"No. There's nothin' wrong with him. Even if there was, it doesn't change anythin'. He's still my son." He felt tempted to walk away from his father so he didn't have to listen to him anymore, but he had to say what he came here to say. "You should know that I've told Evan the truth, about his father. He knows all about, Greg. I'm goin' to introduce them when we get back. There's nothin' you can do to stop me."

His father folded his arms across his chest, trying to tell if he was being serious or not. "You wouldn't dare."

"Tellin' my son the truth is the right thing to do. I should have never listened to you."

"Nicholas, you're makin' a big mistake. You go through with this and I'll have no choice but to take Evan away from you." The Judge called after him. "You breathe a word of this to that man and you'll never see that boy again."

"I'm not a child anymore, Cisco. You can't scare me into doin' whatever you want."

"Hey, what's all the shouting about?" Jillian stepped through the back door, looking between the two men. "We can hear you from the top of the field. Evan, go upstairs, sweetheart. I'll be up in a minute." She ushered her grandson in behind her. He sat down to take his sneakers off, before he hurried up the stairs to his father's childhood room. "You couldn't just leave it alone, could you, Bill?" She looked at her husband.

"Me?" The Judge scowled in her direction. "Did you hear what he's gone and done now?"

"Yes." His wife nodded, ditching the dog leashes from her hands. "And I agree with him. Evan deserves to know the truth." She changed her tune, releasing that her son was right the other day. She really didn't take his side or see things from his perspective before. She only ever cared about her own thoughts and feelings on his decisions. "The lies could destroy him. I believe that knowing the truth now is in his best interests."

"His best interests?" Judge Stokes laughed. "How would you feel knowin' that you came from... an abomination? That you come from a freak? This will eat him up inside. You may have just destroyed his life."

"Does he really look destroyed to you?" Jillian glared at the older man. "Children don't hate." She parroted her son. "Evan loves his father. He'll love him even more for telling him the truth."

"You're makin' a big mistake." Realising he was fighting an argument he wasn't going to win, Judge Stokes did the only thing he knew how to and walked away.. He let the door slam shut behind him, finding somewhere to escape to, where his family weren't defying his every word.

* * *

"Tell me again why I'm the one who has to fish the dead foot out of the storm drain."

"It's called seniority, Greg." Warrick stood on the nice dry street, grinning down at his colleague trudging through the contents of the storm drain beneath him. "Our vic was wearing a red sneaker on the foot he had, so look for a red sneaker."

"Thank you, that'll help me distinguish it from the other dead feet I find down here." He sarcastically remarked, pushing aside the shopping cart tangled up with some sort of rope, so he could take another step. He was relieved that he was wearing waterproof overalls as the water came up to his waist and it wasn't exactly clean. "Did I mention that I can't swim?"

"You're not exactly swimming though. No getting out of it now, Greg. Less talk, more search." Warrick clung to the railing above, helping him look. "Maybe it went further down the storm drain."

"Does it really matter if we find the foot?" Greg glanced back at him. "He'll still be dead."

"Parents don't worry burry their son without both feet, Greggo. Besides, it's kinda our jobs." Warrick folded his arms across his chest, nodding to Brass and Doc Robbins as they made their way over to them. "No sign of the foot yet."

"C'mon Greg, dig a little deeper." Brass egged him on, grinning as the younger man stepped into a deeper section off the storm drain. "Grissom and Sara found our severed head further up the road. We've almost got a complete set now."

"Any ID on our vic yet?"

"Yeah." Brass consulted his notebook, trying to find where he had written it down. "Nicholas Kelly. Twenty two years old." The sound of the name alone sent chills down Greg's spine. He couldn't help but wonder what awful things his father was doing to him in Texas already. "Next of kin has been notified. They're gonna meet us at the station in an hour. They haven't seen or spoken to their son in three years, so they have no idea why his chopped up remains were being transported out of town."

"Lucky we had this sudden downpour earlier that caused our suspect to crash or we might never of found his remains." Doc Robbins leant forwards on his crutches, watching Greg digging something out from between some trash. He tossed it to one side, sighing softly as he started to look elsewhere. "I hear Nick's rejoining us on Monday."

"Really?" Brass looked surprised.

"Psyche gave him the all clear. It'll be good to have him back." Warrick nodded in agreement. "Look out for that wire, Greg." He pointed the younger man towards it.

"Can't we wait for it to drain out or something?" Greg started to get fussy, feeling the water rising a little more. He never learnt how to swim. He loved being on a boat above the water, but he was terrified about the thought of actually being in the water.

"Look to your right, Greg." Grissom's voice echoed from inside the storm drain.

"Huh?" He thought he was imagining things at first, but sure enough, his supervisor had trudged all the way through the drain in search of the missing foot, finding it snagged on something just a few feet away from where Greg was standing.

He watched the older man unhooking it from whatever it was caught on, before he held it up in the air. "And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."

Greg looked slightly confused to his reference, reluctantly taking the foot out of his supervisor's hand. At least now he could finally get out of the storm drain and be free of this murky water. He followed the older man's lead out of the drain, handing the foot off to the coroner. He took a moment to get his bearings, before he got himself out of his wet overalls, checking his phone for any messages.

"How many times you gonna check that thing, Greggo?" Warrick caught him again. "I think it's fair to say that your dates stood you up."

"I'm waiting on a text from Nick." Greg informed him, lifting on Nick's warm sweatshirt that he left behind again to warm himself up. "He's flying back to Texas for thanksgiving today. He said he'd call me when he landed. His flight got in about," He pulled the sleeve back, looking at his watch. "Four hours ago, so I'm worried. He hasn't exactly been getting on with his father lately."

"Don't sweat it, he's probably busy with Evan."

"Evan?" Greg raised an eyebrow in his direction, wondering where he had heard that name before.

"Yeah... you know, his son." Seeing no recognition on Greg's face, Warrick realised why Sara had been so secretive about Nick's son during the investigation to find him. "Man, I thought he would have told you that. You two always seemed pretty tight back in the day." He handed Greg a spare towel, seeing the shock of it written all over his face. "He really didn't tell you?"

"No. How can he...?" Greg perched himself on the back of the open car, looking even more confused. "Nick has a son?" He frowned at the older man, wondering why Nick didn't even mention that little fact to him. He was more hurt over the fact that he had lied to him about being with someone else, not that he was completely innocent. "How old?"

"Evan." Warrick folded his arms across his chest, trying to think. "Uh... he just turned six."

"Six?" Greg felt his heart pounding in his chest, realising that this didn't happen during the time that he was away. He had been born long before he even left for San Francisco, meaning it happened while they were still together. "Why wouldn't he tell me about him?"

"Maybe he thought you wouldn't understand." He shrugged his shoulders together. "He's kinda private about, Evan. We never even knew that he existed until he was nearly a year old. I still don't know how Nick and Evan came to be together. He just told us that Evan's mother died and he was all this kid had left."

"Died?" Greg thought he should be relieved that he didn't have any competition, but he felt oddly worse knowing that she was dead. He stayed seated in the back of the car, trying to think back to six years ago. They had already been together for three years by that time, when would Nick have had the time to cheat on him with some random girl that ended up getting pregnant with his kid?

It didn't matter that she was dead. Greg felt hurt, betrayed even. How could Nick have cheated on him and never told him that he had a child?

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading! Hope you're enjoying the story so far. Please leave me a review if you are.**

 **Thank you for favouriting and following so far.** **Enjoy the rest of your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	11. Chapter 10 - Blind Betrayal

**Chapter Ten - Blind Betrayal**

Following his bosses lead through the parking garage of the Tropicana casino, Greg felt a shiver running down his spine, approaching the parked car that had the trunk popped open. As they got closer, he could see the body bound and gagged inside, clearly dead from the bullet hole sized wound in the middle of his head.

"Craig Nelson, thirty two. Missing for over twenty four hours." Brass reported, taking a step back so Grissom could take a look inside. "Called in by a bus boy putting out the trash. Car was just abandoned here. Stolen. Plates have been switched."

"Surveillance?" Greg pointed towards the cameras above them.

"Nah, they're fakes." Brass shook his head. "Only the casino and hotel have surveillance. Outside, parking garage, service entrances... all fakes. Security don't even patrol those areas."

"Can't be very good for business." Setting his kit down, Greg pulled his flashlight out of his vest pocket, clicking it on to take a closer look at their victim. "Hands bound behind his back. Multiple bruises, lacerations... missing tooth, busted eye." He noted. "Brutal beating."

"You gonna determine his cause of death too, Sanders?" Brass smirked, ushering the coroners over to them. "Save it for the experts, kid."

Greg rolled his eyes taking a step back. He saw a slight look of approval on Grissom's face, wondering when he was going to be taken seriously as a real crime scene investigator. He stood back to watch the coroners do their thing, before Grissom approved them to lift the body out the back.

"Massive head trauma." Doc Robbins reported, examining the body a little closer. "Glass in the wound. Multiple cuts and bruises to the torso. Not many defensive wounds though. Gunshot to the head looks close range. There's powder on his eyebrows. You got a time of death yet, David?" He glanced towards his partner.

"Yeah... about nine hours ago. He's wearing a medical bracelet."

"Yeah, his wife told us that he's a type one diabetic." Brass piped in, reading from his notes. "He never showed up at work on Friday. Boss called the wife, she called us. Twenty four hours later, here he is. I'm gonna head back to the station, notify the wife and parents. You alright here?"

"Yeah." Grissom nodded. "We'll have the car taken back to the lab. Greg, you ride back with the body. Stick with them for the autopsy. Warrick and Sara are on their way now to help me with the scene. Let me know as soon as you find anything."

"Sure." Greg reluctantly grabbed his case, making his way back to his car. He was starting to wonder why he even bothered driving out to crime scenes anymore. He was never allowed to stick around, unless they needed something fetching from the gutter. He was starting to wonder why he ever came back. They didn't treat him like a child in San Francisco. They certainly didn't lie to him either.

Ignoring his daily phone call from his mother, Greg followed the coroners back to the lab, sitting through another autopsy. He couldn't help but notice a few similarities between this guy and Nick, putting the Texan back on his mind.

How could he lie to him about something as important as a child? How could he even lie to him about cheating on him with a woman of all things?

"There's the bullet." Doc Robbins pulled it out with a pair of tweezers, holding it up to the light a moment to take a closer look. "It looks good. What do you think?"

"I think I made a mistake."

The older man glanced towards the young CSI, realising he wasn't talking about the case. He was staring off into space, looking as though he was a million miles away. "We'll get it sent up to Ballistics. A penny for your thoughts, Greg."

Greg shook his head, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. "I was just thinking... about. Nick." He confessed, looking at the body in front of them. "He kinda looks like him, doesn't he?"

Doc Robbins pursed his lips together, giving him a slight nod. "I guess so. He's slightly older than Nick. Their bone structure is similar, but Nick's alive." He reassured him. "I hear he's gone back to his roots for thanksgiving. The wife and I are having a quiet get together with our kids this year. The in laws are going away." He presented him with a smile, dropping the bullet into an evidence pot. "Any plans for thanksgiving yourself?"

"No, not really." Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "Thanksgiving has never really been a big thing in my house. Papa Olaf despised any kind of holiday, especially ones in memory of wars and slaughter, so we didn't exactly celebrate it growing up. Sometimes we got away with having the big meal, but we weren't allowed to call it thanksgiving around him."

"Are you heading home for a feast then?" Doc Robbins changed his question.

"No... I don't really feel like sitting through another one of my Mom's lectures." He watched the coroner replacing the skin to the top of the man's head, trying to avoid the similarities he had to Nick. He even had indented laugh lines beside his eyes.

"I can finish up here if you're not up for it, Greg." Doc Robbins suggested, trying to get rid of the mood killer. "I'll let you know if we find anything. You look like you could do with some fresh air."

"Thanks." He sighed softly, turning for the double doors. He ditched his lab coat on one of the pegs, giving his hands a quick wash, before he made his way upstairs to the lab. He put his back to the wall in the elevator, folding his arms across his chest as it slowly counted up the floors.

It jolted to a stop somewhere between the fourth and fifth floor, making his heart skip a beat. He pushed himself off the wall to push the button, starting to feel the panic set in. He wasn't exactly claustrophobic, but small spaces had begun to freak him out a little more, especially since he almost lost the man he loved inside one.

"Let me out." He banged his fist against the panel. He repeatedly jammed his fingers into the open doors button, but the thing refused to do anything.

Greg dropped his head to the panel in defeat, feeling tears burning beneath his eyelids. He loved Nick more than anything in the world. How could he lie to him like this? Where had he gone wrong? What had he done to deserve being cheated on and lied to by a man that he loved more than anything?

He had nothing to hold onto anymore. His fragile heart had been shattered into a million pieces. He had been betrayed by his emotions. He had up routed his whole life for a man who could break his heart without a second thought.

Greg cried out everything he had, not holding anything back.

When the elevator jolted back to life, Greg pulled back from the panel, quickly wiping both hands across his face to hide the evidence of his tears. He breathed in a deep breath as he felt it starting to move again, bringing him to the lab floor. He jumped right out the doors before they could close again, not willing to take any chances.

He made his way towards the break room for an escape, getting himself a cold glass of water to cool off. He felt emotionally drained after that outburst, but he still had a whole shift ahead of him to get through yet.

"Hey Catherine," He burst out of the break room doors, deciding that searching for more answers was the only way to solve this problem. He watched the woman finishing up with one of the lab techs, before she turned to look at him.

"Hi Greg, what's up?" She gave him a curious look, noting the redness of his eyes. "Have you been crying?"

"No." Wiping his eyes with the sleeve of Nick's sweatshirt, Greg felt more tears brewing as he inhaled the older man's scent. "Um... can I ask you a few questions? About Nick's son. I didn't even know that he had one, but according to Warrick, he's been around for years."

"Evan, yeah. He's six already." Catherine ushered him to follow her towards her office. "C'mon, I might have a pack of Kleenex around here somewhere." She ditched the things from her hands onto the desk, searching the top drawer. She handed him the fresh packet of Kleenex, giving him a sympathetic smile. "Anything you want to talk about?"

Pursing his lips together, Greg shook his head as he unravelled one of the tissues. "When was Evan born?"

"I... I guess you must have left us, right before he was born. None of us even knew that Nick was seeing anyone, but he seemed pretty torn up about it." She sat herself down behind her desk, noticing the hurt expression on Greg's face. "You really didn't know?"

"No. Nobody told me, not even, Nick." He closed the door behind him, leaning against it a moment. "I thought we had a pretty good relationship. I thought we had trust at least, but he never told me any of this. Why wouldn't he tell me something like this?"

"He's been kinda private about, Evan." Catherine admitted, wondering why he was so upset over this. "He didn't really tell anyone about him until he was nearly a year old. I didn't even meet him until he was almost four. He doesn't exactly bring him by the lab or show us family photos, not like I do with Lindsey anyway. I always thought Nick would be the proud father kind of guy, but he's very secretive where Evan is concerned."

"Do you know when his birthday is?" Greg continued his investigation.

"Uh... let me check." Catherine grabbed her phone, flicking through her diary to try and find it. "Yeah... August. Tenth. Eight days before Nick's birthday. I bet that was a nice surprise."

"Tenth?" Greg counted it back. "So what, he would have been conceived around November?" He tried to remember what they were doing around that time. As far as he knew their relationship was still pretty tight around that time. Nick even accompanied him to a thanksgiving feast with his parents in California for the first time. He stomached a whole six days under the same roof as his mother.

He loved him for that. No one had ever tolerated his mother for that long.

"No, no he was early. I'm not sure when he would have been conceived." Catherine shook her head, trying to think back. "Nick never even told us that he got anyone pregnant, so I don't really have anything to date it to. He was really premature though. He was in hospital for the first year or so. I remember Nick had a lot of time off work around then. Of course we didn't know that it was because of a baby until he was finally out of the hospital. He had heart surgery and all sorts. Nick was really torn up about it."

"Are you sure his birthday is in August?"

"Yeah, positive." She double checked her diary. "Why does his birthday matter so much?"

Greg shrugged his shoulders together, trying to avoid outing his relationship with Nick to her. "I'm just... trying to figure out who Nick was with around that time. I guess he's not the same person that I knew back then. He would have never lied to me about something this huge. He really has changed." He pursed his lips together, trying to keep his emotions at bay. "Did you know her name, the mother who died?"

"No... it never came up." Realising she was being interrogated, Catherine leant forwards in her seat, giving the younger man a curious look. "You know if you're really that interested, you could go straight to the source. Nick will probably tell you anything you want to know. Why come to me?"

"I... I just thought that he might have told you something."

"I've never seen anything reduce you to tears like this, Greg. This isn't like you, at all. What's going on? Is there something going on between..."

"No." He quickly cut her off, before her mind started to wander.

"Did Nick..."

"No, it's just... curiosity. Thank you, for the information. And these." Greg tossed the packet of Kleenex onto her desk, quickly turning for the door behind him. He started to feel as though he couldn't breathe again, escaping to the rooftop this time for a breath of fresh air. He found himself stood at the ledge where he last saw Nick, looking up at the midnight sky above.

Nick had plenty of opportunities to tell him the truth. He could have dropped a hint or mentioned the kids name once, but he had purposely gone out of his way to hide the fact that he had a child from him.

How could he ever trust him again?

When his cell started to ring this time, Greg quickly dug it out of his pocket, relieved to see his mother's name flashing across the screen. He snapped it open, sniffing back his tears as he raised it to his ear. She was bound to figure out that he had been crying anyway, so there was no point in trying to hide it from her and he really needed to talk to someone right now.

"Hi, Mom."

 _"Hi, sweetheart."_ His mother propped the phone against her shoulder, putting the last minute touches to their dinner. _"I thought you'd still be working. I was just going to leave you a message. Are you still on shift?"_

"Yeah... I-I just started my case." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, breathing in a deep breath to clear the tears. "I keep getting bumped off the team to attend autopsies, like they don't trust me or something."

 _"You're a brilliant CSI, sweetheart. Sooner or later you're going to get the chance to prove that to them. You just have to prove to them that you're sticking around this time."_ Jean Sanders shook her head, wondering why she had resorted to encouraging him to keep a job that she didn't want him to have in the first place. The lab in Las Vegas almost robbed her of her only son once already, she didn't want to wait around to see what it had install for him next. _"Uh... did you get the chance to talk to Nicky yet?"_

"Yeah." Greg sighed, putting his back to the view of the city. "I think the whole soul mates things is overrated. I know I'm not exactly innocent here, but he cheated on me way before I ever left Las Vegas." He tapped his fingers against the railing, deciding to let his mother know. "Nick has a child. A six year old child, born two months after I left, which means he cheated on me long before I left. He never even mentioned him to me, not once. Apparently it's not just me either, the rest of the team don't seem to know anything about this kids origins. For a bunch of CSIs who are trained to notice the smallest details, they sure don't ask a lot of questions about a child that just appeared in Nick's life."

 _"I knew you sounded different. I told you not to expect him to be waiting for you after all these years."_

"Really don't need the I told you so speech right now, Mom." He sighed into the phone. "Besides, he cheated on me while we were still together. It's the only explanation that makes any sense."

 _"You don't think that Nick would be capable of kidnapping a child, do you?"_ She had a sudden thought. She had spoken to the man about his future plans while he was still dating her son, remembering that one of his dreams was to have at least four kids.

"I don't know anymore." Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "I didn't think he was capable of a lot of things, but apparently he's a liar and a cheat now."

 _"Have you actually spoken to the man in question yet? I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation."_

"There's no reasonable explanation to lie to someone that you love." Shaking his head, the exhausted CSI corrected himself, "Supposedly love. For all I know, that could be another lie."

 _"Greg, that man adored you. I always thought that you were the real deal. Honestly, when I saw the two of you together, you reminded me a lot of your father and I when we first dating. And we were sixteen. To be able to hold onto that honeymoon period for three years..."_

"Mom, please." He cut her off, not willing to relive his heartache.

 _"Alright, I'm sorry."_ Jean spoke softly, looking across the room at her husband. _"Just promise me that you won't jump to anymore conclusions, at least not until you've spoken to the man himself. You had a good thing. I want to see you that happy again."_

"I promise." Greg sighed softly, looking up at the sky above him. "I'm actually surprised that you didn't call to beg me to come home for thanksgiving."

 _"I don't beg."_ His mother protested, forcing the image of her own son trapped underground out of her head. _"It would just be nice to see you home every once in a while. We haven't had you home for the holidays in nearly two years now, and that wasn't exactly a laugh riot. Please tell me that you're not still seeing that vulgar man."_

"Michael? No, he's way out of the picture. He wasn't all bad though. At least he never lied to me. He was always blunt with the truth. It was his defining feature." He smirked, lowering his head slightly. "Thank you by the way for giving him my new address. That's exactly what I needed. Now Warrick thinks I slept my way to the top."

 _"Well, he was your boss, Greg. What did you expect?"_

"I didn't expect my mother to hand out my address to just anyone. I thought you at least had my best interests at heart."

 _"I do. I never gave him anything."_ Jean protested. _"If he says he got it from me, he's a liar. I haven't spoken to him since you two were last round here. I would never give out your address to anyone. You know me better than that, sweetheart."_

"Okay." Breathing in his last breath of fresh air, Greg pushed himself off the railing, wishing he could go home for the holidays just to escape all of this. "Well, I should get back to work. Grissom's gonna appear behind me at any moment, expecting me to have the case solved. I've got a bullet to analyse and Archie mentioned something about security footage from the mall across the street, so it could be a few hours before I have anything that he approves of."

 _"I still don't know why you ever left the lab. You were much safer in the lab. You weren't so overworked and you were certainly paid better."_

"Safe?" Greg practically laughed, wondering how she had forgotten about the events that almost took him away from her. "My lab literally exploded in my face. I still have the scars on my back to prove it."

 _"I know... I just... I meant just be careful."_ Jean clutched the counter beside her, desperate to see her son again. _"We love you, sweetheart."_

"I love you too." Turning back to the city, Greg scratched his head, secretly wishing he was back in the lab just for a moment, so he could have his relationship with Nick back. "Mom, I gotta go."

 _"I suppose that means that your return for thanksgiving is out of the question then?"_

"Can't make any promises. Give Nana my love. Love you Mom, bye." Snapping his cell shut in his hand, Greg stuffed it back into his pocket, hurrying towards the stairs before Grissom put out a search party for him. He raced down the stairs back to the lab, checking all directions for the man, before he casually strolled towards the Ballistics lab.

"Fire in the hole!" Bobby Dawson shouted.

Greg quickly plugged his fingers in his ears, gritting his teeth together as the man fired off a round into the test chamber. He watched him safely retrieving the bullet, before he noticed him stood at the door. "Hi." He unplugged his ears. "That looks old."

"Yeah." Bobby cracked a grin, holding out the gun to him. "This here is a second world war German pistol. The Browning Hi Power to be exact. Nine millimetre. Ten rounds in the magazine. Capable of killing a man at fifty metres. Haven't seen one quite like this in a while." He whistled, replacing it to the desk. He knocked his headphones off, taking the bullet over to his microscope. "Striations are a match. Are you looking for something?"

"Oh, yeah." Greg remembered the reason why he came in. "Did Doc Robbins send you a bullet from the skull of our victim, Craig Nelson?" He managed to stop himself from saying Nick, even though he was still on his mind.

"Uh... let me check." Making his way over to his desk, Bobby flicked through the evidence he had yet to check, finding the bullet from autopsy. "Here it is. I'll get started on it now if you want." He took it over to the microscope, putting some fresh gloves on, before he retrieved the bullet. "Well, it's in pretty good shape. Do you happen to have the gun it came from?"

"Not yet."

"It looks like a thirty eight special." He leant closer to the microscope. "Hollow point round. The tops not too badly mushroomed. It looks like there's a thread or something caught in it."

Greg grabbed the tweezers off the other table, handing them over to Bobby.

"Thanks." Bobby tweezed it out, taking a closer look. "It looks like... foam or something. I'll send it to Hodges for you. It'll probably take him a while to get to it though. He's backlogged with Day Shifts evidence still. Apparently Ecklie axed another tech."

"Another one?" Greg leant against the table beside him, noticing the flustered lab technician across the hall. He didn't look like he was in an agreeable mood, he didn't even have a dance in his step as he made his way from one table to another. "Is there anyone left on Day Shift anymore."

"At the rate he's firing them, it doesn't seem likely." Bobby shook his head, straightening up to look at the younger man beside him. "I think your position as a CSI is safe. We're kinda in short supply of field CSIs at the moment. It's good to have you back with us, Greg." He gave him a wide smile. "I'll let you know when I find anything on your bullet. Let me know when you find that gun."

"Will do." Greg pushed himself off the desk, making his way out of the lab. He was surprised that Grissom still hadn't snuck up on him yet, giving him time to check on Archie in the AV lab. "Hey Arch, is that my security footage?"

"From the front of the mall opposite the Tropicana, yeah. I've still got over eleven hours of footage to look through, before you guys showed up at the scene. But you're welcome to join me." Archie motioned towards the spare seat beside him.

Greg glanced around the lab a moment, before he joined him inside. He patiently sat beside the man watching the screen, trying to keep his mind focused on their case, but his mind started to wonder to Nick again, especially when he noticed a file in front of him with Nick's name on it.

Letting curiosity get the better of him, Greg reached out for it while Archie was distracted, flipping through the first few pages. He scrolled through the page detailing the Plexiglas coffin he was trapped in, noticing an evidence list that they were never informed about. "There was a tape recorder in the coffin with Nick?"

"Huh?" Archie knocked the headphones off his head, scurrying towards the other man to grab the file. "That's supposed to be confidential. Mr Grissom is looking into it." He quickly pulled it away from Greg, putting it out of his reach.

"I never knew about a tape recorder. What was on it?" Greg gave him a curious look.

"I'm not really supposed to say."

"Archie c'mon, he's my best friend. I lo..." Greg cut himself off, before he blurted out their relationship to him. "Walter Gordon blew himself up and left us with nothing. No reason, no motive... did he leave a message for Nick? What's on the tape? Why didn't Grissom tell us about it? What's on it?" He became rather insistent, appealing to Archie's more giving side.

Archie sighed softly, realising that this was Greg and he wasn't going to give up. "Walter Gordon left it in the coffin for Nick. It's just a message. It doesn't say why he did it or why he chose Nick, it's just a message."

"Can I listen to it?"

"No." He quickly shook his head, remembering his supervisor's warning. "You're not even supposed to know that it exists."

"If you don't let me listen to it... then I... I-I'll tell Grissom about a certain fetish of yours that you probably don't want getting out." Greg threatened him, watching Archie considering it a moment. "C'mon Arch, I saw you at that Furries convention. You were dressed as a hot little Vixen." He jogged his memory, sending the blood rushing from Archie's face. "I might have even got a picture of you, mask off."

"Okay, okay... fine." Archie pulled his chair closer to his computer. "For the record, I only went there for a friend. It's not a regular thing or anything." He tapped a few keys, finding the audio file from Nick's case. "I'll pull up the audio file from the tape recorder. But you have to do something for me."

"You know how blackmailing works, right?"

Archie rolled his eyes at him. "Never tell anyone what you saw and please don't tell Grissom that I let you listen to it. He didn't want anyone else from the team knowing about it."

"Promise, on both counts." Greg swore, moving his seat closer. He grabbed himself a set of headphones, popping them over his head, while Archie started up the file. He closed his eyes once the audio started up, trying to put himself in Nick's situation.

 _"Hi CSI guy, you wondering why you're here? Because you followed the evidence. Because that's what CSIs do. So breathe quick, breathe slow, put your gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you're going to die here. Okay."_

Greg snapped his eyes opened, feeling the terror in his heart. He didn't want to imagine how Nick felt when he first heard that trapped underground in a Plexiglas coffin. It was frightening enough hearing it above ground in the safety of the AV lab.

"Play it again." He insisted, holding the headphones down over his ears.

Archie glanced around the lab outside to make sure that his supervisor wasn't around, before he hit replay on the file. He removed his own headset, not willing to listen to it again. Greg must have listened to it five nearly six times, before he practically threw his headset down against the desk.

"Are you alright, Greg?" Archie gave him a moment, watching the younger man breathing softly for the longest moment, before he managed to nod his head. "Kinda makes you glad he blew himself up, huh?"

Greg started to think that if he wasn't already dead, he would kill him himself for doing this to Nick.

"We ran the tape through a few filters and found a second voice towards the end. The 'okay' that Walter Gordon says at the end was a question to someone else. We don't know who he was talking to, but _she_ says 'perfect'. Grissom thinks that Walter Gordon had an accomplice, which is why the case is still technically open. We still don't know who she was."

"Kelly Gordon, the daughter?" Greg queried.

"No, voice doesn't match up and she's been in prison for the past three years. There's a second side to the tape too. Grissom didn't log it into evidence, because it was kinda personal. Nick... he sorta recorded a goodbye message."

"He did?" He perked up.

Before Greg could ask to listen to it, Grissom burst into the room, giving the two of them a curious look.

"Greg, have you found anything on the security footage from the street?"

Archie quickly closed the audio file, bringing back the footage they were supposed to be looking through. "There's a lot of cars going in and out of the parking lot all day and night. I'll keep on it, boss."

"Good. Let me know when you find anything. Greg, you're with me. The car just arrived. I'll need your help to process it." Grissom held the door open behind him, waiting for Greg to follow him out. He suspiciously looked between the two of them as Greg walked away, wondering what exactly they were doing before he walked in. "Have you heard from Nick?" He made small talk, watching Greg dressing himself in some fresh overalls.

"No, why would I have heard from him?" He popped the buttons across his chest, feeling a little awkward as his supervisor continued to stare at him.

"I just thought that you..." Grissom shook his head, grabbing himself a set of overalls. "Never mind."

"Do you know about Nick's son?" Leaning back against the table, Greg gave the older man a curious look, noticing the look in his eyes. He was a man of very few words, but his eyes always gave him away. "Do you know anything about the mother?"

Pursing his lips together, Grissom grabbed his kit, making his way over to the car. He tried to remain silent so he wouldn't give anything away, but Greg continued to stare at him, trying to figure out how much he knew.

"I've watched Nick over the years. He trusts you like a father. Probably a lot more than his own father." Greg joined him by the car. "If there's one person he would tell..."

"I don't know anything." He parroted a saying their suspects always muttered, not even believing it himself. "We have to process the car, Greg. There's still a murder suspect out there." Grissom felt guilty for keeping something as important as a child from Greg, but Nick didn't leave him with any other choice.

* * *

Hearing raised voices coming from downstairs again, Evan crept out of his father's childhood room, sitting himself down on the landing. He scooted himself forwards, putting his legs through the banisters, watching his Grandmother chasing after his Grandfather as the man tried to escape to his office again.

"I don't care what your father would say if he was here now, Bill." Jillian stopped him from closing the door, blocking it with her small frame. "He was a miserable old man who died all alone, because he pushed everyone away from him. He did exactly what you're doing now. You know I haven't seen all my children under the same roof in over a decade? It's not me or this place that keeps them away either, it's you. You ask too much. You push too hard."

"Is it really too much to ask to want my family to be loyal to me?"

"Loyal?" Jillian scoffed, struggling not to laugh in the man's face. "They're not dogs, Bill. They're your children. Grown men and women now, who are perfectly capable of making their own decisions."

"So Nick's decision to be a faggot, that's perfectly justified, because he's a grown man?"

"Don't you dare. Did I say that? He's gay, not a... that's a horrible word to describe your son." She felt tempted to slap him for that remark, but she knew that he always gave as good as he got. "They're perfectly capable of making their own mistakes too. I'm not saying I agree with it, but it's a part of who he is. He's our son. No matter what... he'll always be our son."

"I won't have a gay son." The Judge put it firmly. "It's an embarrassment, a blot on the family name. It's bad enough that he's some kind of hermaphrodite..."

"Intersex, they don't say hermaphrodite anymore." Jillian corrected him. "That's not his fault either, he was born with it. None of us knew. His doctors never even picked it up."

"What the hell did you take while you were pregnant with him?" The man turned it around on her, giving the woman an accusing look.

"Me? You're the one with the transgendered sister. How do I know that this didn't come from your side of the family?"

"Guys, enough." Uncle Billy shouted over the top of his parents, something he had always been too afraid to do as a child, but now that they were little old people, they seemed a little less terrifying. "Bein' gay doesn't change who Nick is. He's the same chubby little, snot nosed brat he's always been. Technically speakin', it's both of your faults. Scientists have figured out that bein' gay isn't somethin' that you decide, it's in you from the moment you're born. Just like Aunt Lisa's transgender thing."

"That's bull." Judge Stokes glared at his son. "People are always tryin' to come up with bull shit explanations to justify their actions."

"Same goes for people like you." Billy argued back. "When you go shoutin' your mouth off about Nick and the way he is, you're only lettin' people know how ignorant you are."

"It's against nature. He's just tryin' to be different, because he didn't get enough attention from us or somethin'. Maybe I'll wake up one day and think I'm a tree."

"Don't be so ridiculous, Bill." Jillian rolled her eyes at her husband.

"Don't you get it? That's how ridiculous you sound when you go around defendin' him for bein'... gay." The Judge reluctantly used her own word. "He should be in a mental institute, not sleepin' under our roof with a grandson born of sodomy."

"How dare you say that." She pointed an accusing finger at her husband.

"It's the truth."

"Would you stop!" Billy shouted at his parents, before they started arguing again. "Nick's my brother. That's all that matters to me. I don't care who he loves, just as long as he's happy. You keep sayin' that you just want Nick to be happy. Did it ever occur to you that he was? You're the ones tearin' it away from him all the time. He's pretended to be somethin' he's not all his life, just to make you two happy. You're destroyin' him. I haven't seen him smile once since he got back. The way you two keep talkin' about him, no wonder he never wants to come back here."

"I don't have to listen to this from my own damn son." The Judge practically pushed his wife out of the way this time, just so he could close the door to his office.

"Stubborn old git." Billy muttered, catching a look from his mother. "What? You know it's true. He's a stubborn old fool. Why can he accept Aunt Lisa but not Nick? Sexual reassignment goes completely against nature..."

"Oh, don't start, Billy." Jillian turned away from the office door, giving out a heavy sigh. "That's a battle I've been fighting for years."

"It doesn't make any friggin' sense." He called after her, catching a glimpse of something from the corner of his eye. He lifted his gaze, spotting his nephew, Evan sat at the top of the stairs, clutching the banister bars in his little hands. "Hey, bud. What are you still doin' up?" He hurried up the stairs two at time, scooping up his little nephew from the floor. "It's way past your bed time, little man."

"Why are Grandma and Granddad fighting?" He asked, clutching his Uncle's shoulder as he carried him down the hall.

"It's just somethin' that grownups do sometimes when they have a difference of opinion. You know you're not supposed to listen to other peoples conversations, especially grownups conversations."

"Why were they saying stuff about Daddy?"

"See, that's exactly why you're not supposed to listen." Billy gave him a stern look. "Your Granddad is just throwin' a tantrum because your Daddy is all grown up and he wants to do his own things now. Granddad doesn't understand that, so he gets mad like this."

"Why does he hate my Daddy?"

"He doesn't hate him. He loves him a lot. If he hated him, he would ignore him completely."

Billy eased open the door to his brother's childhood room, spotting his younger brother laying on his side across the middle of the bed, clawing at the covers. He appeared to finally be asleep, but he didn't exactly look relaxed. His whole body was tense. He was dripping with sweat, shaking as though there was an electrical surge running through his body.

"Stay here a minute, bud." He lowered his nephew to the floor, cautiously approaching the side of his brother's bed. He had no idea what it was like down there in that coffin, but he didn't imagine it was pleasant. "Nick." He sat himself beside his brother, rolling him over onto his back. "Nick, wake up. It's just a dream. Nicky." He gently shook him in his arms.

His brother gave out a huge gasp, before he forced himself into a sitting position, almost knocking Billy off the bed in the process.

"Hey, hey... it's okay. It's just me, Billy. It's Billy." He grabbed his brother's arms, stopping him from lashing out at him. "Nick." He watched his younger brother's eyes trying to focus on him, before he gave up trying to fight him. "Hey, you alright?"

"Peachy." Nick dropped his head back to his pillow, giving out a heavy sigh. He tried to scrub the images from his mind by thinking about anything but the coffin, realising he was alone on the bed. "Where's Evan?" He sat himself upright again.

"He's fine." Billy pointed towards the doorway where his nephew was stood. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." He pushed past his older brother, making his way into the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water straight from the tap a few times, before he brushed his hand across his sticky neck. He would do anything to be able to sleep at night again, but he wasn't willing to admit defeat to some post traumatic stress disorder.

"If you want, Evan can bunk in with me." Billy suggested from the doorway. "My rooms bigger than yours anyway. I've got that spare mattress under my bed too."

"I can look after my own son." Nick grabbed himself a towel to dry his face.

"I never said you couldn't. I was just offerin' you a solution to help you both get some sleep. It's gone midnight and the kids still up. I can find some sheets and set up one of the beds in Gwen and Kayla's room if you'd rather he slept alone. Have you tried sleepin' pills?"

"I can't take pills." He shook his head, replacing the towel where he found it. "I don't need anythin'."

"Really? Is that why you're walkin' round like a zombie. You look like hell, Nicky and I mean that in the nicest way possible. How are you supposed to return to work on Monday when you look as though you haven't had a decent nights kip in months?"

"Would you just back off. Why can't people just leave me alone." He pushed his brother aside to get on, pulling on a sweatshirt, before he disappeared down the stairs. He grabbed the keys to his brother's truck, racing out the door before he could catch up to him. He didn't know where he was going, he just knew that he had to get out.

He couldn't breathe under this roof.

"Daddy!" His son helplessly called out to him, running across the stone shingle driveway in his pyjamas. "Da-ddy!"

"Evan. Evan, c'mere." His Uncle Billy scooped him up, holding him securely against his chest as his younger brother high tailed it out of there. He placed his hand on the child's back as he started to cry, wishing he could tell him that it was all going to be okay, but he didn't recognise the man that resembled his brother anymore.

He had changed completely.

"It's okay. It's okay, bud. Daddy's comin' back." He gently soothed the child, carrying him back inside as he continued to cry into his shoulder.

"Where's Nicky going?" Jillian caught the truck disappearing down the driveway.

"No idea, Mama. He just took off." Billy handed off the child to his mother, grabbing his father's keys from by the door. "I'll go after him. Don't start." He saw the look on her face that she usually got right before she started arguing. "I'll be back. Don't worry."

"Be careful." Jillian held onto her grandson, hugging him close against her shoulder. "C'mon, let's get you back inside. It's okay, sweetheart. Daddy will be back soon. We should get you off to bed, it's way past your bed time."

She didn't even need to check the time to see how late it was. She was exhausted herself, especially after all the arguments she had been dragged into with his husband for the past few hours.

Carrying her grandson up the stairs, Jillian popped him down in her son's bed, gently tucking the covers around him. "Get some sleep, sweetheart. Things will be better in the morning after we all get some sleep. You'll see."

"I want my Daddy." He sobbed softly, rubbing his tearful little eyes.

"Daddy will be back soon. He just needs some air." She tried to assure her grandson.

"Not that one." Evan crawled out from under his covers, grabbing the photo of his father, Greg that he had set on the nightstand. He held it tightly against his little chest, wishing his father would swoop in and rescue him, just like Iron Man would have done.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **~ Holly**


	12. Chapter 11 - Family

**Chapter Eleven - Family**

"Grissom." Hurrying down the hallway after his supervisor, Greg managed to catch his attention, just before the man stepped onto the death trap elevator. "We've got something." He presented him the photos from the CCTV footage, with a grin plastered across his lips. "At quarter to nine last night, our crime scene car pulls in the side entrance of the Tropicana parking lot. Female driver, wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses." He pointed her out on the image. "Twenty minutes later, this gray crown vic rolls out with the same driver. Female driver, baseball cap and sunglasses. We ran the plates, the car belongs to Nina Nelson, our victim's wife."

"The wife?" Grissom raised an eyebrow in his direction, before he flipped back through the security images.

"Get this, Bobby Dawson found a permit for a gun in her name that was taken out six months ago. He says if we can get the gun, he should be able to get a match to the bullet found in her husband's head. Brass is talking to her now in the station. I bet her car is out in the parking lot somewhere."

"Hold on, Greg. You need a warrant first." Grissom presented him with a slight smile. "Good work though, Greg. I'm on my way down to the station now. Do you want to take the lead on our interrogation? I'll get the Judge to get us a warrant for the gun and the car."

"Seriously?" Greg felt tingles running down his spine, realising this was his chance to prove himself. "Yeah, sure." He glanced down at his phone as it started to ring, finally seeing a call coming in from Nick. He anxiously bit his bottom lip a moment, hesitating to press the ignore button, so he could join his supervisor in the elevator.

"Was that Nick?" Grissom queried, watching the younger man staring off into space. "Have you spoken to him since he landed in Texas?"

Greg remained silent, zoning him out.

When it was clear that he was being ignored, Grissom zipped his lips, before he said something that he wasn't supposed to. He wanted to ask if Nick had told him that he child he had was theirs yet. He had no idea how he would take it, but he didn't think he would go to the extent of ignoring him completely.

Letting Greg take the lead in the interrogation, Grissom took a back seat in the observation room, while he called in a favour for a rush on the warrants. He thought that Greg handled himself pretty well. He let Brass do most of the interrogating, while he asked the important questions about where she was, who's car she was driving and why she decided to stash her husband's body at the Tropicana.

Nina refused to answer any of their questions, insisting that she had nothing to do with it, until Greg brought up the gun permit.

 _"Why did you report him missing after you killed him, Mrs Nelson?"_ Greg tried to get to the bottom of her lies, watching her crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared into his eyes. _"I don't get why you would report him missing then hide his body clear across town. Did you want him to be found?"_

"Hey, boss." Warrick joined his supervisor in the observation room. He glanced through the glass window beside him, spotting Greg sat opposite their suspect. "You're letting Greggo take the lead on the interrogation?" He gave the man a curious look. "Are you sure that's wise?"

"He's handling himself alright. Did you find anything?"

"Yes." Warrick raised the file from his hand, handing it over to his supervisor. "Mr and Mrs Nelson have been married thirteen years. Highschool sweethearts, no children though. Craig Nelson was arrested for assault. He did eight years inside. When he got out, he struggled to find work. Nina's uncle got him a job as a kitchen porter. There's a couple of call outs here for domestic disputes. Deputies called out to break up a few arguments, but nothing major."

"Who did he assault?" Grissom queried, slowly thumbing through the information as he kept an eye on Greg.

"Uh..." He stepped up beside his supervisor, finding the page. "There... Travis Bloom. They all went to Highschool together."

"Where's Travis now?"

"Dead." He caught the look on his supervisor's face. "No, nothing like that. Overdose two years ago. I gave his parents a call. They said he had been suffering from depression since he was in Highschool. He was still living with them when he OD'd. Doc Robbins is looking into the report just in case the other coroner missed anything. His parents did mention that back in the day, Travis and Nina used to date."

"Really? Stay here." Taking the file with him, Grissom left the observation room, giving the door to the interrogation room a light knock. He ushered Greg out into the hall with him, handing him the new evidence, hoping to add fuel to the fire. He sat himself next door in the observation room again, admiring Greg's technique to get to the truth. "Warrick, there's a gray crown vic somewhere in the parking lot." He reported, answering a text on his phone. "Get Sara and start processing it. Our warrant is on its way over."

"Alright." Warrick pushed himself to his feet, smiling to himself as Greg managed to get their suspect to spill the beans on her affair with Travis. "The kids got a knack for this."

"He does." Grissom nodded in agreement. "He's not a child anymore, Warrick."

"Nah. Our boy's all grow'd up." The other man smirked, leaving his boss to watch the rest of the interrogation. He grabbed his cell on his way to the elevator, surprised to see Nick's name flashing across the screen again. "Hey, man. What's up?"

 _"Hey."_ Nick breathed a sigh of relief. _"I was... I've been tryin' to get hold of Greg. Is he there?"_

"Yeah, our boy's been busy. He's taking the lead on an interrogation right now." Warrick turned his wrist to look at the time, realising that it was five in the morning. "You're up early. Still can't get any sleep?"

 _"Nah, I figured if I'm gonna start up back on nights with you guys, I've gotta get my sleepin' back on schedule."_ He flat out lied, clutching the phone close to his head. _"I really need to talk to Greg. He hasn't been answerin' any of my calls."_

Warrick glanced over his shoulder, watching Greg hard at work in the interrogation room. He really didn't want to disturb him, especially for a man who sounded as though he had been drinking all night. "He's kinda busy right now, Nicky. Can I pass on a message?"

 _"No."_ He snapped, sliding down the wall behind him to sit on the floor. _"I need to talk to him. Can you please just go get him?"_

"Can't do that, Nicky." Warrick shook his head, ducking into the police stations break room. "How much have you had to drink tonight, Nick? I can hear you slurring your words." He pulled his phone back from his ear, realising Nick had hung up on him. "Oh, Nicky." He sighed, trying his number a few times, but it kept going straight through to his voicemail.

* * *

"C'mon Greg, answer your phone."

Throwing his phone across the room, Nick collapsed onto the floor of his brother's bedroom, just as the older man returned with a cup of strong coffee in his hands. He managed to sneak him past his parents after he found him, but now he felt as though he was hiding away his drunk teenage brother, hoping that their parents wouldn't find out.

Billy searched the bed for his brother, noticing him laying on the floor in the corner. "Nicky, get up." He knelt down in front of him, sighing softly as he remained put. "Here, drink this. It'll help sober you up." He held the coffee out to him. "Mama's awake already. She's fixin' breakfast. I think Dad slept in his study. Evan's still passed out in your room."

"I don't wonna sober up." Nick covered his arm over his eyes, attempting to block out the sun from the window above.

"Nicky, you can't sleep there." He set the coffee mug down on the bedside table, attempting to help him up. He was a lot heavier than he looked though and Billy wasn't exactly a young man anymore. "C'mon, gimme your hand. We'll get you on the bed. You're just like my wife when she gets drunk. One glass, she gets a little tipsy. Two, she gets mean. Past three, she gets sleepy." He grabbed his brother's hand, just about managing to pull him to his feet. He sat him down on the edge of his bed, giving out a deep breath of relief. "Wait, wait... we'll get these boots off first."

Ignoring his brother's warning, Nick collapsed back against the bed spread, rolling himself over onto his side. He closed his eyes after his brother removed his boots, burying his face against the covers beside him.

"Don't go." He called out to his brother, snapping his eyes open to see where he was. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not goin'." Billy promised him, sitting himself down on the other bed. "I'll just be over here, okay?" He watched Nick adjusting himself against the bed, twitching ever so slightly as though something was bothering him. "I can't imagine what it was like down there, Nicky. To tell you the truth, I really don't want to, but you gotta do somethin' about this. When Mama told me, I thought she was joking it sounded so surreal. I just think that... you need help, Nicky. It's been weeks and you still can't sleep."

"My shrink gave me the all clear." He reminded him.

Billy couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head at his younger brother. "Remember that shrink Dad sent you to when you first told him you were gay?" He jogged his memory. "You must have been thirteen, fourteen then. Somehow, you managed to convince that shrink that you were completely straight and Dad was the one imaginin' things. You've always been able to turn on the charm when you need it. You could pretty much convince anyone to believe anythin' when you turn on the charm. I don't doubt for a second that you used it to worm your way out of those mandatory departmental shrink sessions." He placed his hands on his knees, looking into his younger brother's dazed expression. "Maybe you should see somebody, outside of the lab. On your dime, so they actually care about what happens to you, rather than whether you can do your job or not."

"I don't exactly have the money for some big shrink to tell me stuff I already know."

"I'll pay for it then." The man suggested so casually.

"I don't need your charity."

"It's not charity. You're my friggin' brother, Nick. You can pay me back with interest if you want. I'm doin' it for the kid. He needs his father. Dad's talkin' about takin' legal guardianship over, Evan." Billy broke it to him bluntly. "The way you're goin', you're screwin' up your chances of winnin' your case. You drove away from him when he was callin' out for you, Nicky."

"He can't take him away from me." Nick shook his head. "He's all I have. Besides, if he proves I'm an unfit parent, Evan will go to Greg and his family. He'll have the greatest Grandparents any kid could ever ask for."

"Is that what you really want, Evan shipped off to live with people he doesn't know?"

"Where's my phone?" Pushing himself to a sitting position, Nick rubbed his tired eyes, looking around for where he had thrown it earlier.

"No, no more drunk diallin'." Billy refused to help him look for it. He had already pried it away from him twice already, trying to stop him from making a big mistake. "Wherever it is, it's better off bein' left alone for now. Do you really want Greg to find out he has a kid from your drunken ramblin's?"

"I _need_ to talk to him." He swept his fingers through his hair, feeling tears burning in his eyes. "He's the only person I've ever been able to trust. He's the only person I've ever loved. It hurts so much not bein' with him. He won't even answer his friggin' phone."

"Hey, I'm sure it's not personal." Climbing up from the bed, Billy put his arms around his baby brother, attempting to comfort him. He held him tightly in his arms, feeling him shaking in his embrace. "If he's still at the lab, maybe he's just busy with a case. You don't really want to talk to him in your state anyway. You need to explain all of this to him face to face. He needs to know all the details in your sober state, so he doesn't go jumpin' to his own conclusions."

Nick knew that he was right, but he still wanted to hear the younger man's voice. He pushed his brother away from him, crashing back against the bed spread behind him.

He felt cold and empty in this house. It used to feel like home. A place where he always felt safe, comforted by familiar smells, childhood memories and all their belongings they had accumulated over the years.

It didn't feel like home anymore. It just felt like a place that he wasn't welcome to. He was constantly under attack for being wrong, different. He wanted to be normal. He wanted to feel safe again, but things would never be the same again.

Nick managed to get nearly five hours of sleep in his drunken state, before he was crawling out of bed, making a dash for the nearest bathroom. He dropped to his knees in front of the toilet bowl, forcing the lid up, before he started throwing his guts up, not realising they had a house full of people downstairs. He threw up until he had nothing left, feeling sweat pouring off his forehead. He managed to push himself to his feet after a few minutes, making his way over to the shower. He started up the water on a warm spray, pushing the door to the bathroom shut, before he attempted to remove his clothes. He noticed a bruise on his ribs as he removed his shirt, briefly remembering falling into a table at the bar he had stumbled into, when his brother was trying to get him home.

"Nick." A knock at the door startled him.

He pulled his shirt back on, wiping the sweat from his forehead, before he opened the door. He forced a smile in the direction of his big sister, Gwen, surprised to see her back here. She still looked exactly how he remembered. Big brown eyes, soft brown hair that perfectly framed her face and a smile that could make any problem go away.

"Hi, Nicky. Sorry, Mama sent me up to check on you. Billy kinda mentioned that you might be a little hung over." Gwen presented him with the tall glass of water from her hand, followed by the bottle of aspirin. "I'm glad you're back, Nicky. It hasn't been the same without you here. I've seen Evan. He's getting so big already. Adorable too, just like his Daddy." She grinned at him, placing her hands on her hips. "Evan told me all about his Daddy, Greg. I'm glad you told him, Nicky. Don't listen to Dad. You made the right decision telling him."

"I wish Mama would see it that way." Nick took a quick sip of water, before he popped a few pills. "She was beggin' me to tell him for weeks, then when I finally do, she thinks I'm bein' selfish. No, you know what I wish more than anythin'." He changed his mind. "I wish I was normal, like you."

"You _are_ normal, Nicky. Whatever normal means. You're exactly who you're supposed to be. We're _all_ exactly who we're supposed to be or we wouldn't be here now. Don't give up on yourself, just because you're afraid of what other people might think. Screw them." Gwen finally brought a legit smile to her brother's lips. "Worry about your own life, your own happiness. That beautiful little boy of yours needs you to be a strong role model in his life. No matter what, you've always had a strong spirit. Watching that little boy out there, I can definitely see that you've passed that onto him. Keep his spirit alive. Don't let anyone destroy it."

Giving her a slight nod, Nick sniffled back his tears threatening to spill, wishing he had heard her advice sooner. "Thank you." He spoke softly, smiling as his sister immediately caught him in a hug, holding him as tightly as she possibly could for the longest few minutes.

It wasn't quite a Greg Sanders special hug, but it made him feel a little less alone.

* * *

Rolling up outside his parents house after a four hour drive, Greg breathed in a deep breath, glad to be home. After his big win at the lab, Grissom practically insisted that he head home for the holidays. He was reluctant to at first, but sitting alone in his apartment wasn't exactly ideal. All he could think about was Nick and his betrayal, so he decided that a weekend away with his folks was the lesser of two evils.

"Ow, Mom. Ease up a little." He pulled away from her bone crushing hug, rubbing his achy muscles. "My neck's stiff. I've been driving for four hours."

"I'm sorry, I just haven't seen my baby in person for what... two years now." She pecked a few playful kisses to his cheek, giving him a smile. "We've only spoken to you on the phone for a few minutes every day." His mother stole another quick hug, taking his bag off his hands this time. "You look thin, sweetheart. What have you been eating?" She started her meddling, before they even made it through the front door.

"I eat just fine, Mom." Greg kicked off his sneakers at the door, opening his arms as his Nana Olaf came shuffling towards him. For a sixty three year old with a busted hip, she moved pretty fast and she hugged even harder. Her hair was still a fiery red colour and her blue eyes were still so full of life. She threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him just a little bit tighter than his mother did, before she pulled back to examine him closer.

"Oh... what happened to your hair?" She frowned at the sight of it. "It's all..."

"It's called natural." Her daughter smirked, dropping her son's bag on the staircase. "Daniel, he's here!" She bellowed up the stairs to her husband, ushering her son through to the kitchen. "Let me fix you something to eat. We had turkey yesterday. There's still some leftovers. I can make you a turkey sandwich with lots of cranberry sauce, just like you always had as a child."

Greg knew she wouldn't accept any other answer, so he gave her a reluctant nod. "Where's Papa Olaf?" He winced as his Nana hugged him again, curiously running her fingers through his more natural hairstyle.

"I don't like it." She disapproved, turning her nose up at it. "It doesn't have the same oomph it used to have. It doesn't really look like a Greg hairstyle. What do you think, Jean?"

"Excuse me, aren't you the same woman who grounded this child when he came home with blue stripes in his hair?" Jean reminded her mother, giving her hands a quick rinse, before she got started on fixing her son something to eat. "I believe he was only ten at the time and it was just the spray on stuff that washed out right away."

"Well you weren't going to do anything about it. Obviously it didn't work, because he dyed it all black a few years later."

"Where's Papa Olaf?" Greg asked again, but the two of them weren't taking any notice of him anymore. He left them to their argument, deciding to square away his things upstairs.

"I thought I heard that squeaky rust bucket coming up the drive." His father presented him with a smile, stepping off the stairs. "You haven't got rid of that thing yet?"

"Dad." He practically threw himself into his father's arms, hugging him as tightly as he could. He was the same height as his father now, but the man definitely had more muscles on his bones than him. He had a strong musky smell to him that made him feel comforted. He always gave the best comforting hugs and he always had a scratchy stubbled jaw line that gave him 'Daddy rash' on the side of his face, reminding him of his childhood.

"Hey, firecracker." His father used his familiar childhood nickname, pressing a kiss to the centre of his son's forehead. "Your hairs natural." He pulled back from him a little, admiring his new look. "I like it. Did you finally get bored of dying it?"

"No, I kinda had to go natural." Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "Forced maturity, I guess you'd call it. It's starting to grow on me though. I might have to get highlights or something, so it doesn't get old. Not that I have anyone to please at this moment in time."

"Your mother told me about, Nick. Have you tried talking to him?"

Greg pulled his cell out of his back pocket, showing his father the twenty two missed calls from Nick in the past few hours. "I don't want to hear him lie to me again. Even if he told me the truth, how would I know. Turns out he never exactly told me the truth to begin with."

"There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation..."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Greg interrupted his father. "When is it okay to lie to someone that you supposedly love? Do you ever lie to Mom?"

Daniel pursed his lips together a moment, before he shook his head slightly. "No, not really. But we've been together for just over forty years now." He pointed out to his son. "When we started dating, I guess we told a few little white lies here and there."

"How is an affair and secret child a little white lie?" Greg snapped at his father, taking it out on him rather than the man he was really mad at.

"I didn't say it was." Daniel spoke softly, placing his hand on his son's shoulder. "You want me to hate, Nick. I'll hate Nick. I'll ring that bastard's neck if he ever hurts you like this again. Stay away from him, I don't want you to see him again. I shall be having words with his mother if he even thinks about contacting you again." He played the protective father role, getting a grin out of his son. "See, there's that smile." He pulled his son into his arms, playfully ruffling his hand through his hair. "It's good to have you home, son. You should really get rid of that car."

"It's reliable."

"Ha," The man chortled. "It's a rust bucket. You've had that thing since Highschool. It was only supposed to last you the last few years of Highschool. You're supposed to buy a new one that runs better and doesn't sound like grinding metal as you drive it."

"I like it." Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "Besides, apartment hunting is hard enough. I don't want to add buying a new car to that list."

"I didn't know you were apartment hunting. Your mother didn't mention anything."

Greg grinned widely. "That's because if I get her involved, she'll take over and start searching for a place for me. I wanted to do this one on my own. My old building in Vegas is just as old as I remembered it and my neighbours are a nightmare."

"Okay, I won't say a word." His father smiled back at him. "If you're sticking around for a few days, maybe we can go fishing or something."

"Yeah, maybe. Hey, where's Papa?" He queried, pulling back to look into the den. It was unusual that he didn't come to the door to greet him. He was usually second in line after his mother to spoil him rotten with hugs.

"Uh," Daniel pulled up the sleeve of his long sleeved t-shirt, looking at the time on his watch. "He went fishing a few hours ago. He should be home soon. Grandpa and Uncle Mark went with him."

"Grandpa's here?" The last he heard, his grandparents from his father's side were still living out in Florida. They never came back for the holidays anymore. His Grandmother even said that nothing would make her give up her corner of paradise in Florida.

"Grandma too." Daniel nodded. "She offered to go to the store with your Aunt. They just left a few minutes ago. They came back last year too. Of course you'd know that if you visited your dear old Dad every once in a while." He gave him a wide grin, making a move for the kitchen. "Love you, kiddo."

"Love you too." Greg grabbed his bag, making his way up the stairs to his childhood bedroom. He ditched his bag on the floor beside his bed, smiling to himself as he looked around at all his old things. His mother threatened to change it into a guest bedroom if he ever moved out, but other than the occasional clean up, she hadn't touched a thing.

Nick was speechless when he stepped into his room for the first time. Probably realising how much of a dork he really was. He couldn't believe it when he saw Nick's room out in Texas for the first time either. Unlike his room, the Stokes kids' rooms hadn't been personalised at all. The colour scheme of all of them was bland and beige. All of their personal things that made the room feel homely had to be out of sight.

Nothing like Greg's room.

Greg brushed his hand across the posters on his wall, smiling at each memory. Street Fighter was the first one to make it onto the wall. He raced home from school every day, looking forward to the chance to rematch his Papa Olaf in another game. Super Mario, Frogger and Pac-Man made their appearance on his wall a few years later, before he started listening to music. Metallica, Iron Maiden, Gun N' Roses then Marilyn Manson. He must have had over a dozen Marilyn Manson posters scattered across his wall.

Turning towards the other wall, Greg brushed his fingertips across his dusty old sound system, smiling at the memory of his mother threatening to take it away from him so many times if he didn't clean his room. He turned his attention towards the CD's and cassettes he had left behind, pulling out a mix tape he once made for a boy he liked. He flipped it over to read what he had taped on it, feeling a little embarrassed by his choices.

At number one, I want it that way by the Backstreet Boys.

He was fifteen at the time and completely in love with the hottest boy in school, Nathan Reynolds. The lines 'you are my fire, the one desire' and 'but we are two worlds apart' completely summed up their relationship at the time. Of course he never actually got the chance to present him with the mix tape, he just listened to it on repeat in his room, while he fantasised about being with him.

Killing me Softly by Fugees and Torn by Natalie Imbruglia were late additions to the mix tape. All part of the heart break era when Nathan started dating, Cindy York.

Greg replaced the mix tape to his shelf, noticing a piece of paper slipping down the back. He knelt down to retrieve it, sighing softly as it was a photo of him and Nick. The last time they were at his folks house together, they took a trip down to the dock, so Greg could show the man his father's boat. He intended on taking him out on it, but the weather kept them grounded.

With a disposable camera, Nick leant as far as he could over the side of the boat, clutching Greg tightly in his arms. He pressed a big kiss to the side of his head as he snapped the photo, making Greg's heart warm from the memory.

"Greg!" His mother's voice called up the stairs to him.

Brushing the dust off the photo, Greg stuffed it back between his cassette tapes, before he hurried down the stairs to see what she wanted. As he reached the bottom though, his Grandmother caught him in her arms, stabbing her talon like fingernails into his shoulders as she hugged him tightly. She was much older than his Nana Olaf. He wasn't sure how much older, but it certainly showed around her eyes. She said she was aging with dignity, but she had bleached her hair so much to keep away the greys, it was starting to thin out.

"I can't believe you're thirty one already." His Grandmother finally pulled back, gently tapping his cheek. "You've gotta stop getting older boy, you're starting to make me look old."

"I'm sorry, Grangela." He used his familiar nickname for her. Grandma Angela was too hard for him to say when he was four years old, so he used to combine them to make things simpler. She didn't seem to mind though. "You don't look a day over fifty though."

"Oh, you're sweet. But you're a terrible liar, just like your father." She gave her son a playful grin as he appeared. "Daniel, Yvonne could use your help with those groceries out there."

"Yes, mother." Daniel pulled on some shoes, hurrying out onto the driveway to give his sister in law a hand. His younger brother, Mark had been married three times now. Wife number three, Yvonne didn't seem as bad as the last one, but she had a tendency to behave like a little princess, rather than a grown woman of thirty five. He was glad they didn't visit a lot, but he still missed the close bond he used to have with his younger brother while they were growing up.

"Greg!" His mother yelled his name again.

"Good lord, Jean. Stop yelling. The whole of California can hear you." His Grandma Angela scolded her daughter in law, making her way through to the kitchen. "You finally get your son home and all you can do is yell at him."

"I wasn't yelling. I was calling him." Jean ushered him over to the counter, sitting him down with a glass of milk and his turkey sandwich. "I'll get some fresh sheets on your bed in a moment. Any idea how long you're going to be staying with us?"

"Probably just the night. I've got a shift on Monday." Greg broke it to her, seeing the disappointment on her face already. "I'm not even supposed to be here now. I was supposed to be on call. Grissom only gave me the time off because I solved my case." He sensed that he had given him the time off for another reason, but he was too tired to ask. He just wanted to be home with his family.

"Look at that. Got it on my first time too." He overheard his Uncle's voice.

Greg took another bite out of the most delicious sandwich in the world, spotting Papa Olaf, Grandpa John and Uncle Mark making their way back from their fishing trip. Papa Olaf was still as bald as Bruce Willis, but his Grandpa still had a full head of hair, well into his seventies. His Grandpa looked exhausted from their trip, but Mark was sporting a mile wide grin on his lips, holding up a freshly caught trout in his hands. He realised what he had missed out on by opting in to work an extra shift, kicking himself again.

"There's my boy." Papa Olaf threw his arm around his only grandson's shoulders, kissing the top of his head. "Mister Big Shot CSI. Are you running the place yet?"

"Not quite." He smiled up at his Papa Olaf. He stank of fish and seaweed, but his hugs always made everything feel a little bit better.

"Are there anymore of these sandwiches going?" Papa Olaf turned his attention towards the food on Greg's plate. "C'mon, Jeany. Your dear old Dad's starving here."

"Starving?" Jean laughed at her father. "You ate before you left. I believe you had two helpings of my egg bake and you took sandwiches with you on your fishing trip. I suppose you wolfed every one of them down too." She swatted away her father's hand as he tried to steal the spare one from Greg's plate. "No, that's for Greg."

Jean scolded her father, having a sense of déjà vu. She remembered fixing a young six year old Greg sandwiches while his father and Papa Olaf were out fishing. When they returned, Papa Olaf immediately robbed his grandson of his lunch, but Greg wouldn't say a word against him because he loved the man so much.

"Stop." She gave the man a stern look. "He's just got off a twelve hour shift, you know. He needs the energy boost."

"And I don't?" He protested.

"It's okay, Mom. I'm not really that hungry anyway." Greg offered up the other half of his sandwich to his Papa Olaf, smiling as the man immediately sat himself down beside him. His mother didn't approve, but she never did approve of his Papa Olaf stealing food off his plate.

"So, how long we got you back this time?" He queried, licking his lips after every bite of his delicious sandwich.

"I have to be back on shift tomorrow for eleven, so I guess until tomorrow afternoon. Hey, Grandpa." He climbed to his feet to hug the man, smelling the familiar stench of cigars and wood coming off the man. He never knew if it was his aftershave or a shower gel he used, but he always had the same scent. "No luck fishing then?"

"Not a bite." His Grandpa shook his head, looking over the fishing rod in his hands. "Mark said my technique is getting old, but I think it's because I didn't have my lucky charm with me." He playfully ruffled his hand through his grandson's hair. "No boyfriend this time?"

"No, I'm flying solo again." He regretfully informed him, releasing he shouldn't have as the old man started going on about wanted to see his grandson get married before he died. He guilt tripped him with the usual great grandchildren speech too, but he was still glad to be home.

Even without the love of his life.

Who was he kidding? Losing Nick felt as though he had lost an arm.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.**

 **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	13. Chapter 12 - Thankful For

**Chapter Twelve - Thankful For**

 _"Ready for the smoothering? Three, two..." Holding the hand of his boyfriend outside his childhood home, Greg beamed a wide smile in the direction of his parents, feeling Nick tensing up beside him. He dragged him forwards a little so he didn't clam up again, bracing himself as his mother threw her arms his shoulders. "Hi, Mom." He managed to hold onto Nick's hand at his side, keeping him grounded, before he could make the introductions. "Guys this is Nicky. Nick, these are my parents, Jean and Daniel Sanders."_

 _He didn't think that Nick would be able to speak, but the man managed to extend his hand towards them both, shaking each of their hands with a wide smile on his face. He couldn't speak at first, but once his father brought up the truck that they had driven here in, he couldn't stop talking._

 _Leaving Nick to explore the house with his father, Greg followed his mother through to the kitchen, catching her grinning widely as she fixed them a drink. "What are you grinning about?"_

 _"Well you said he was good looking, but you didn't say he was gorgeous." His mother swooned, handing him a glass of water. "I think you should definitely marry this one. I can see lots of beautiful grandchildren in your future. You'll have to use his DNA for the surrogate, but they'll still be yours by name."_

 _"We've only been dating six or seven months. I don't think we're ready for that yet." The twenty five year old man shuddered at the thought of being stranded with brats already. He still had so much more he wanted to do with his life. Having children and getting married wasn't exactly a priority right now._

 _"He's older than you, right?" His mother asked._

 _"Only four years older." He defended himself, giving her a glare. "Not all of us get to live our happy ever after with our Highschool sweetheart."_

 _"I wasn't comparing. I just want you to be with someone who loves you for who you are. Your father and I aren't always going to be around, you know."_

 _"Who says Nick's the one?"_

 _"You did, with your eyes." She playfully pinched his cheek. "You've never looked at a man like that before. You've finally met your soul mate. This kind of love is the stuff of legends. You'll be together forever and ever..."_

* * *

Blowing out a puff of smoke from his cigarette, Greg flicked away the ash over the low brick wall he was sat on, staring up at the house he grew up in. He used to think that as he got older, his life would just fall into place. His Papa and Nana Olaf knew exactly what they wanted from a very young age. Their own parents didn't want them to be together, especially after they got pregnant, so they did the only thing they could do and fled their parents to live their own lives. Then his parents met when they were fourteen years old in Highschool. They had him out of wedlock at sixteen and had been together ever since.

They all had their lives figured out.

He just couldn't make it work for himself.

Thirty one years old, at least twice as old as his grandparents and parents when they had everything in their lives sorted. He still wasn't quite sure if this was the right job for him. He loved a man who clearly didn't love him back if he could keep lies like this from him and having children of his own was so far out of his league, it seemed like an impossible goal.

He felt as though he was stranded on an island out in the middle of nowhere. Everyone else had left him, figuring out exactly what they needed to do with their lives, but he was just...

Stuck.

"Thought I'd find you out here." His Uncle Mark startled him, watching his nephew quickly disposing the cigarette against the brick wall. "Oh, don't worry." He raised his hands either side of him, slowly approaching him. "I won't say a word to your mother. That woman scares me." He cracked a grin, sitting himself down beside him. "How are you, kiddo? I mean really."

Greg shrugged his shoulders together slightly, brushing away the ash from the wall. "I don't even know how to answer that question at the moment. Do you ever get the feeling that life all around you is moving along in the right direction, but you're kinda standing still, wondering which direction you're supposed to go?" He asked, looking round at his Uncle.

The man shrugged his shoulders together slightly, folding his arms across his chest. "Sometimes, I guess. You've still got your whole life ahead of you though, Greg."

"I'm still so behind on everything though. Mom and Dad had their whole lives figured out at sixteen."

"They had to grow up fast. I wouldn't say they had it all figured out though." Mark disagreed, looking at his nephew beside him. "I was only about nine when you were born, but I remember watching my brother and your Mom struggle. Your Papa Olaf didn't want an unwed mother living under his roof, so your mother had to move in with us and my parents weren't exactly welcoming. Daniel and Jean were still just kids when they had you. They fought a lot at first. Your Grandma Angela was always there to pick up the pieces and bring them back together for you. They struggled to take care of you, finish their school work. My Dad got Daniel a job that he hated to help pay their way. He had to drop out of school and get his GED to support you and your mother. And my Mom wouldn't let them stay under our roof after they got married, so they had to find a place of their own. I wouldn't exactly call that figured out. Even after they got settled, they struggled to make ends meet. Your mother had all those miscarriages and health risks,"

Even though he had heard the story of how his parents met and how he was born, Greg had never heard that version of events before. His parents always made it out like it was the start of a real life fairy tale.

"One thing my Dad taught me was not to compare your life to anyone else's." Mark gave his nephew a pat on the back, giving him a smile. "It's your life, you live it how you want. My brother always wanted to get married and have kids someday, long before he ever met your mother. He wanted a wife, kids, a great job... it took him a little longer to get the last one, but he made it with you and your Mom at his side."

"What about you?" He curiously asked him.

"Me... kids have never even entered my mind. I like kids, I'm just not so sure that being a father is what I want. I love my job. Marriage is hard enough, adding kids to that mix would probably result in twice as many divorces under my belt." The man smirked, gently bumping his shoulder to Greg's. "There's no milestones that you have to reach, Greg. You're only thirty one. You've still got your whole life ahead of you. Live in the moment. Live your life how you want to. Marriage, kids and the white picket fence aren't for everyone. You can reach your own goals when you get around to them. Don't play be everyone else's rules. Just be you."

Greg gave his Uncle a slight smile, quickly hiding away his packet of cigarettes as his mother poked her head out into the garden.

"Come in and wash up, boys. Dinners ready."

* * *

"Dinner time!" Jillian Stokes called out to her grandchildren.

Jumping down from the hay bales they had been climbing on all afternoon, Evan joined the race with his cousins back to the house, joining the line up in the kitchen to wash their hands. Besides his little six month old cousin, Robbie, Evan was still currently the youngest of all his cousins. He didn't know how many he had exactly, he just knew that the older they got, the meaner they were.

Bill junior and Curtis were the worst of the lot. They called him names he had never heard before. They shoved him down to the ground, kicked him in the stomach and trampled his hands. He tried to stay clear of them for the rest of the day to avoid the insults and pain in his limbs.

A successful tactic, until now.

He bumped straight into the back of twelve year old, Curtis during the line up at the sink. The boy immediately turned, shoved him down to the hard tiled floor of the kitchen and laughed at him.

Evan fell back against his hands, wincing as his tail bone hit the floor. He didn't want to cry in front of the older boy, fearing the names he would call him, but luckily his Aunt Gwen scooped him up from the floor, before Curtis got the chance to see a tear roll down his cheek.

"Oh sweetheart... you're really in the wars today, aren't you? Falling off the bike then head butting the table. Oh, dear." The woman held him securely against her hip, checking his hands and elbows for any damage. "Does it hurt?" She looked into the eyes of her mini brother, giving him a smile. "No. Well, I can't see any damage. I think you'll live." She gently tapped him on the back.

Holding him in her arms, she almost missed her own children being that small, but she had promised her husband that they wouldn't have any more kids.

"Let's get you set up with a plate of food. You like everything, don't you? Just like your Daddy."

"I got him." Judge Stokes appeared beside her, easily lifting his grandson out of her arms. "Oh, no tears big boy. We're Stokes men, we don't cry." He brushed his thumb across his grandson's cheek. "Where's that father of yours, aye? Still sulkin' in his bedroom?"

"He's sleepin'." Billy informed his father. "Gwen slipped him a sleepin' pill earlier. He went out like a light. Always was a lightweight." He smirked, grabbing himself a plate. He noticed the scowl his father was giving him, quickly assuring him, "It won't do any harm. It's just a sleepin' pill. This is probably the most sleep he's had in weeks."

"He's going to miss dinner at this rate." Jillian checked the time on her watch, ushering the kids over to their table. "Billy, go and wake him up. He can't fly all the way here then miss the sit down with the family. Drag him out of bed if you have to. We can prop him up in your Grandfather's chair at the head of the table." She gave him a cheeky smile, taking the plate out his hands as she sent him on his way.

Billy reluctantly made his way up the stairs, giving the door to his brother's room a light knock, before he burst in. He found his little brother right where he left him, curled up under the sheets. He looked slightly more peaceful then he did earlier, but he was still twitching ever so slightly as though there was an electrical charge running through his arms.

"Nick, hey Nicky." He tapped his foot, treading carefully around the side of his bed. "Nick, you've gotta wake up. You're missin' thanksgivin' dinner." He jabbed him in the chest this time, blocking Nick's fist as he swung at him. "Hey. It's just me, Nicky. You've gotta stop doin' that. I'm gonna start bruisin'. The guys are gonna think my wife beat me up when they see me at work."

Nick groaned softly, struggling to pull his dead arm out from under him. He finally got it free as he rolled over, feeling tingles shooting down to his fingers as the blood started to flow back into it. "What time is it?" He asked, giving out a wide yawn.

"It's... just after four and it's dinner time."

"I slept?" Nick surprised himself, pushing himself to a sitting position.

"Yeah... about that, Gwen kinda dosed you." Billy awkwardly confessed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He always was a tattle tale growing up. He was the worst person to expose secrets to and he'd grass up anyone if it meant he could get into his father's good books.

"She dosed me?" He frowned at his brother, vaguely remembering the aspirin bottle before his shower. He did notice that he felt oddly sleepy right after, before he crashed on the bed with really heavy eyelids.

"It wasn't my idea. She said it was harmless, so I went along with it."

"Yeah, right." He smiled slightly, sliding himself towards the edge of the bed. He brushed the sleep from his eyes, giving out a wide yawn as he climbed to his feet. "I can't believe it actually worked. I took one a few weeks back, but it had no effect on me."

"Maybe it was the alcohol or just pure exhaustion." Billy suggested, shrugging his shoulders together. "Hey, it worked for Grandma. She had insomnia for years before she started drinkin' herself to sleep. Not sayin' you should take up drinkin'." He quickly warned him, realising his pep talk was going nowhere fast. "Mama's waitin' for us downstairs." He changed the subject. "C'mon, foods gettin' cold."

Nick pulled on his sweatshirt, quickly running his fingers through his hair, before he followed his brother downstairs. He was surprised to see so many people in the house, scrambling to get their plates set up, but it still wasn't a full house. His sisters Lily, Vicki and Kayla were nowhere to be seen. Their husbands and children were absent too, along with his brother's wife and kids.

For a Stokes thanksgiving, the house was pretty empty.

"Nice of you to finally join us." The Judge remarked, sitting at the head of the table with Evan in his arms. "Are you rethinkin' that PTSD counselling yet?"

"Bill, not in front of everyone." Jillian hissed at her husband, handing her son a clean plate. "Take anything you want, sweetheart. There's plenty to go around. Turkey is over there. Gwen's just carving up the ham. Boys!" She turned her attention towards her squabbling grandsons. "That's quite enough of that, thank you. Both of you sit down."

"But he started it." Curtis protested.

"I don't care who started it. I'm finishing it. Now sit." The stern grandmother shut them right up, trying not to smile too widely herself as she really missed being around all her family. She turned to check on Nick a moment later, but he was nowhere to be seen. "Bill junior, feet down. Feet go on the floor not chairs." She snapped her fingers at him, forcing the boisterous little boy to sit up straight.

Nick topped his plate up with all his favourite foods, sitting himself between his brother and sister, Gwen. He watched the rest of the family getting settled into their seats, before his mother called for silence to say grace. She liked to keep it brief when the children were around, mostly because they weren't very patient and constantly complained that they were hungry.

"Amen." Judge Stokes parroted, hugging his grandson in his arms. "What are you thankful for, Evan?" He spoke softly, watching his children and grandchildren passing around the food.

Looking around at his cousins, Evan whispered, "I'm thankful for not having any brothers or sisters."

"We're all thankful for that." The man glanced in the direction of his son, moving his chair closer to the table, so he could reach his dinner. "It's a shame you're leavin' tomorrow. You probably won't be back with us until next year. You know if you want to Evan, you can stay here with Grandma and me. You can help me on the ranch everyday then. Wouldn't you like two parents around to look after you, rather than just the one?"

"What about my Daddy?" Evan queried, looking at the man sat five chairs away from them.

"Well, he'll go back to Las Vegas for his job. He doesn't really belong here anymore."

Evan didn't want his father to leave him. He was mad at him because he left him alone, but he didn't want him gone. He quickly pulled away from his Grandfather, slipping down off the chair. He hurried round the other side of the table, tapping his father's leg to get his attention.

Nick immediately lifted him into his arms, holding him tightly in his warm embrace.

"Daddy." He spoke softly, watching the man moving the plates around to give him some room to put his own meal down. "When are we going home?"

"Tomorrow mornin'." Nick smiled at him, relieved to be going home himself. He didn't think he could stomach another day under the hateful eye of his father. He was too afraid to even look in the older man's direction right now. If this were dinner at Greg's house, everyone would be smiling and laughing. No one would be holding any grudges and the moment they stepped through the front door, they would be smothered with hugs from everyone in the family.

Looking around at the table, Nick realised that he was thankful that he didn't live closer to his family.

* * *

"I'm thankful for..." Greg raised his glass, looking around at his family as he tried to think of something. He hated that they always had to go round the table like this and he was always first, so he didn't have any ideas. He pursed his lips together, looking at his parents sat beside each other. He could see their hands entwined together between their chairs, making him feel more envious than thankful at the moment.

"You don't have to say anything." Papa Olaf piped in. "It's a dumb tradition anyway."

"Oh, shut up." Jean scowled at her father. "C'mon Greg, people are waiting to eat." She urged him to continue, but he still didn't have any ideas. "There's lots of things to be thankful for. Think of all the wonderful things in your life at the moment, maybe even something that you take for granted." She gave him a few hints, but he remained silent with a look of deep thought written across his features. "Alright then, I'll go." She reached for her wine glass, raising it to the table. "I'm thankful that my one and only baby finally decided to grace us with his presence. I'm thankful for my amazing husband." She held his hand a little tighter, giving him a wide smile. "And I'm thankful for all of my family being here and being able to sit around one table for the holidays. It wouldn't be the same without each and every one of you sitting here."

Her father rolled his eyes at the sight of her goofy grin, giving out a reluctant sigh. "Alright then, I'm thankful that this stupid tradition only comes around once a year."

"See, now was that so hard?" Jean smiled at her father.

"I'm thankful for cocktails." Grandma Angela quipped, "Without them, I still can't stand my in laws." She giggled, frowning as her cocktail glass was empty again. "Oh... Mark, be a dear." She raised her glass to him.

"Yes, Mom." Mark reached for her glass across the table, sighing as he pushed himself to his feet.

"Before you go, don't forget to say what you're thankful for." Jean stopped him at the door.

"Uh... I'm thankful for you, Jean. If you didn't host these thanksgiving dinners, we'd be eating Chinese out of takeaway boxes." He smiled at her, making his way back to the kitchen to fill his mother's glass.

"Yvonne doesn't cook?" Jean forgot that her new sister in law was even sat at the table with them. Honestly, she didn't really know much about the woman. She had only been dating her brother in law for five months before they got married. She met the woman on their wedding day three years ago and she still didn't know anything about her.

Instead of giving her an answer, Yvonne sat back in her chair, like a bored disinterested teenager. She had barely said more than two words since she arrived yesterday and she always excused herself from doing anything with the family, only proving that she really didn't want to be here with them.

"I'm thankful that my boy came home to be with us." Daniel continued the tradition, smiling across the table at his son. "You made all of us a family, Greg. You were and still are the greatest gift in the world."

"I second that." Daniel's father raised his glass, giving his grandson a smile. "When you _finally_ have a few kids of your own, you'll see just how precious you are to us. You know single men can adopt these days," He got back to the point he was trying to make earlier. "They're not ruling you out anymore. You just have to show them that you have a loving and stable home, which you do. You have plenty of support from all of us. And if you move closer..."

"Dad." Daniel made the cut throat signal to his father, wondering if he should have told him about Nick and his surprise child that he had while Greg was out of the picture.

"Are we eating yet?" Nana Olaf piped in, her cutlery ready and waiting to dig into her food.

"Yes, we can all eat." Jean gave them the go ahead, smiling at her brother in law as he rejoined the table. "What about you, Mark? Any future plans for children?"

"Not exactly." Mark sat himself down beside his wife, looking across the table at his parents. "There is something that we want to tell you though. We were going to tell you before we left, but now seems..."

"Mark." Yvonne hissed his name, a look of annoyance on her face.

"It's okay." He assured her, taking a quick sip of his water, before he told his parents the truth. "Actually we've... we've been thinking about doing this for a while. We thought it would be a few years before we actually got the chance..."

"Stop beating around the bush." His mother interrupted him. "Just spit it out, Mark. I'm starving."

"Yvonne and I are moving to New Zealand." Mark anxiously shifted in his seat, watching the two of them taking it in a moment. His mother sipped at her cocktail, while his father darted his eyes between them.

"Are you serious?" His father frowned at him, not sure he heard him right.

"Yeah, we're moving to New Zealand." Mark nodded his head, gulping as they remained silent. "Yvonne's family are all there, so it's not like we're going to be on our own. I can easily find work and we've got our eye on a house really close to Yvonne's parents."

Leaving his food untouched, John shook his head, refusing to believe it. "You can't just up and move like this."

"When are you going?" His mother set down her cocktail, suddenly feeling the urge to sober up.

"End of the month." He spoke in a barely audible voice. "We've been planning it for a while, we just didn't want to tell anyone in case we jinxed it or something. Now that things are finalised with the move and the house, we thought that you should know." Mark turned his attention towards his older brother, wishing he would pipe in with some support or something, but he was as shocked as their parents. "I'm not a kid anymore." He pointed out to all of them. "I'm forty years old. I'm going whether you like it or not. I just... thought that you should know... before we left."

His mother, Angela shot daggers in the direction of her son's wife, wishing that he had never met her. She wasn't overly thrilled about marriage number three in the first place. The woman was a complete stranger to her and she didn't want a bratty woman like her anywhere near her son.

Greg stabbed his fork into a roast sweet potato, making an awful screeching noise to match the awkwardness at the table. He glanced up as it happened, hoping no one heard it, but they were all looking his way.

Clearing his throat, Greg reached out for his glass of water in front of him, finally thinking of something he was thankful for. "I'm thankful for my parents. Because no matter how old I get, they can still solve any problem." He wished they came up with a better solution to his latest Nick problem, but they were probably right in the end.

He really needed to talk to the man.

It was the only way to find out the truth.

After dinner, Greg helped Mark and his father with the dishes, before he helped his Grangela up the stairs to her room. She was still feeling a little tipsy, but she made it into her bed on her own, closing her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow. Greg retired to his own room, overhearing his father and Uncle Mark discussing the move to New Zealand outside. He didn't exactly want his Uncle to move that far way either, but he understood the need to find your own place in the world.

 _"You'll be miles away from anyone that you know."_ His father pointed out to him, reminding Greg of the time when he told his parents he was moving to New York.

 _"Yvonne's family are there."_ Mark argued his case.

 _"You don't know her family!"_ Daniel continued, not willing to let go of his younger brother without a fight. _"You met her parents once on your wedding day. You don't know anything about these people. You've never met her brothers or sisters. You won't have anyone. If you think that this move is going to save your marriage..."_

 _"Save my marriage?"_ Mark stopped him there. _"Who said that my marriage needed saving?"_

 _"Marriage counselling for starters. This is your third marriage, Mark and you've been seeing a marriage counsellor on and off since the beginning. You're always at each other's throats. Maybe she's... not the right one for you."_

Mark laughed, shaking his head at his older brother. _"Just because my marriage doesn't look anything like yours, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with it. We're going to New Zealand, whether you like it or not."_

Greg heard the back door to the house slamming shut, feeling his heart rate increasing. He hated it when his family argued. He especially hated it when his parents argued. They didn't do it very much, but when they did, he used to lay awake in his bed at night, worrying that one of them would leave.

Climbing out of bed, Greg retrieved the picture of Nick that he hidden away, wishing he had never left him. The life he so desperately wanted now could have been his back then, if he wasn't so stupid to realise what he had.

"Greg?" Pushing the door to her son's room open, Jean smiled as she caught him quickly hiding something away under his pillow, just like he used to do when he was a teenager. "I think you're a little old to hide your porn from your mother."

"It's not porn." Greg sat up straight, pulling out the picture of Nick he had hidden away. He held it up to her, giving her a guilty smile. "I still can't get over him. Even when I was with Michael, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew that we were long over by then, but it felt like I was cheating on him. I felt so guilty. But now I find out that he cheated on me long before I ever left and I'm starting to wonder if he ever loved me the way I love him."

Jean perched herself on the edge of her son's bed, taking the picture out of his hands. "He doesn't seem the type."

"He is the type. His reputation before I turned his head was a new girl on his arm every time he went out. I remember one night he picked up a waitress during one of the team breakfasts. Then the next night, he left with a hostess. Turns out being with me didn't even stop him from doing that. He managed to knock one of them up, three years into our relationship."

"Greg, you're going out of your mind with all of this and you don't even know the facts. What if he adopted?" She suggested, handing him back the photo. "You told me that he wanted a traditional marriage, kids, the family home and all that. What if after you left he felt so alone, watching his dreams going down the toilet that he decided to adopt. That would explain the lack of details and evidence of his child's birth, wouldn't it?"

Greg shrugged his shoulders together, resting the photo against his knees. "Why would he make up the story of the dead girlfriend then? Do they approve adoptions of single men who have a full time job and no support?"

"Not usually." Jean shook her head. "But that doesn't mean he couldn't have adopted. What if... one of his sisters gave him a baby?" She blurted out the first idea off the top of her head, receiving a scowl from her son. "What? It _could_ happen. You hear about sisters being surrogates for family members all the time. There was that one in New York last year. I remember reading about it. The older sister couldn't have children of her own, so her younger sister offered to be a surrogate for her. When it came to giving the baby up though, she backed out of the deal. It was all over the papers, in the courts..."

"His sisters wouldn't just give him a baby." Greg cut her off, before she got too off topic. "Even if they did, why would they give him a baby two months after I left? You can't just suddenly decide something like that and as far as I know, none of them were pregnant."

"A cousin then." She suggested, grasping at straws in an attempt to make her son feel a little better. "I know I've said this before, but maybe you should ask the man himself. It seems like he's the only one who knows the truth, so ask him. Whatever it was, it happened over six years ago, Greg. Don't let the past define your future. If you love him, be with him. If you really can't forgive him then let him go. It's not written in stone that you _have_ to be with him."

Greg sighed softly, brushing his fingers across the photo. "I was kinda hoping that it was. I know I said I came back to Las Vegas for the city and the job... but it was him. I miss him. I love everything about him. He made me feel... alive."

"I know." His mother gave him a knowing smile. "You're not quite as mysterious as you think." She gently tapped his knee, leaning forwards to peck a kiss to his forehead. "I want you to be happy. If that's with Nick, then you know what you have to do. Talk to him." She playfully tapped his cheek, before she climbed off the bed. "Good night, sweetheart. Don't run back to Las Vegas too early tomorrow. We miss having you around."

"Maybe I'll move back fulltime." He smirked, hoping she knew that he was joking. "I have to get up early to go fishing with Grandpa and Papa Olaf anyway. I don't have to be back for work until almost midnight, so I could probably stay all afternoon."

"Good." Jean leant across the bed, playfully ruffling her fingers through his hair. "It's good to have you home, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom." Greg waved goodbye to her, watching her leaving the door open, letting his Nana Olaf in. "Hi, Nana." He climbed off the bed to her a gentle hug.

"It's so good to have you home." Nana Olaf clutched him a little tighter, pressing a big kiss to his cheek. "Our precious boy. You really should visit us more." She giggled softly, brushing her lipstick off his cheek with her thumb. "You know, I always wanted to be surrounded by grandchildren in my old age. You're my one and only though. You're everything I could have hoped for though. You look more and more like your father the older you get. You're beautiful, smart, caring..."

"Okay, where's this going?" He sensed she was trying to butter him up.

The woman pursed her lips together a moment, before she confessed her motives. "Not everyone is meant to have a family. Children aren't for everyone. I'm not saying that you shouldn't, just because you're... more into men than women, so your ability to... procreate is a little more... challenging." She struggled to explain. "But if children aren't in your future, it doesn't matter to me. I just want you to be happy. If following your dream career is what makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Nana." He hugged her again, wishing his career would make him happy, but he was starting to feel empty.

He waved her goodnight a few minutes later, making sure he didn't have any more visitors, before he closed the door to his room. He climbed back onto his bed, staring at the picture of Nick like a love struck teenager, wishing he knew what was going on with him.

"Why won't you let me in, Nicky?"

* * *

After a long dinner and an even longer traditional game of football out on the back field, Nick was relieved to return to his room. He managed to wrestle Evan away from his cousins, getting him in the tub for a quick bath to wash all the mud off, before he got him tucked up in bed. He climbed in beside him after a hot shower, watching Evan flicking through the pages of his new favourite book. He insisted on looking through it for himself, so Nick felt a little redundant laying beside him.

"All done?" Nick smiled at him, taking the book off his hands once he got to the end. "Still as good without Daddy readin' it to you?" He gently brushed his fingers through his son's hair, hoping he hadn't lost his trust forever. "Things won't be like this when we get back, baby. I promise, I'll make things better again."

Evan sunk lower on his pillow, brushing away the sleep from his eyes. "When are we going home?"

"Tomorrow."

"Is Grandma coming with us?"

Nick secretly wished that she wasn't, but he still hadn't had the chance to talk to her yet. "I don't know yet. Do you want Grandma to come back home with us?"

"No." He pursed his lips together, a look of deep thought on his little face. "Are you sick, Daddy?"

"No, I'm not sick." Nick rolled himself over onto his side, gently placing his hand on his son's chest. He didn't want to tell him all the gory details, but he didn't exactly want to lie to him either. "Do you remember comin' to Daddy's work a few weeks ago with Aunt Sara? You spent some time with Uncle Warrick and Captain Brass down in his office?"

"Yeah." Evan nodded his head slightly. "Grandma told me you were in hospital."

"Yeah, I was." He moved himself a little closer to his son, anxiously biting his bottom lip as he looked into his son's innocent little eyes. "Somethin' happened to me at work. I got... injured pretty bad." He didn't want to give his own son nightmares, so he kept it simple. "I haven't been actin' the same since... because I've been feelin'... scared."

Evan gave his father a curious look, making an expression with his face that he had seen on Greg's so many times. "Is that why you don't sleep, Daddy?"

Gently patting his son's chest, Nick gave him a nod, a little annoyed with himself that even his child had noticed that. "Yeah, I haven't been sleepin' very well, because my bad dreams are keepin' me awake. When we get back, things are goin' to change though. Your Uncle Billy gave me the number for a special kind of doctor that can help me with all my... head stuff." He hoped.

"Then you'll be better?"

"I hope so." He nodded his head, giving him a slight smile. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you, baby."

Evan gave him a slight smile, looking as though he was about to fall asleep. He suddenly breathed in a deep breath, whispering, "Daddy."

"Yes, baby."

Pushing himself to a sitting position, Evan crawled towards the edge of their bed, grabbing the picture of Greg from his nightstand. He crawled back towards his father, dropping his head to the man's shoulder. "Can I see my Daddy when we go home?"

"I..." Nick still had to break the news to Greg about their son's existence, but he was still hopeful that the younger man would understand. "I don't see why not. Do you really want to meet him?"

"He's my Daddy."

"He is." Smiling wider then he had all day, Nick hugged his son close, realising he was most thankful to Greg for giving him the amazing gift of their son.

"Daddy..." His son spoke softly again, watching the man's eyes fluttering open beside him. "Did God make a mistake when he made me?"

Nick felt his heart slow in his chest, wondering which member of his family had put that idea in his child's head. "No. No, absolutely not." He had stopped believing in God himself long ago, but he wasn't about to crush his son's spirit the same way his father had done to him all his life. "God doesn't make mistakes. Like my Grandmother always used to say, everythin' in life happens because God planned it that way. Long before you were born, God planned to make you a beautiful, smart little boy. You're here because God wants you to be here. You have a purpose and only he knows what that is." He gently combed his fingers through his son's hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Daddy... are we really going home?"

"We are. Our flights already booked up. Are you ready to go back on a air plane?"

Evan nodded his head slightly, tilting his head back to look into his father's eyes. "Daddy, can we live with Greg? I don't want to live with Granddad."

"We're not livin' with Granddad."

"Granddad said I would live with him, while you go home."

"Oh, he did, did he?" Nick slid his arms around his son, clutching him close to his chest. "Wherever you go, I go, baby boy. No one's tearin' us apart." He held his son in his arms as he finally started to doze off to sleep, waiting until he was completely out, before he lifted him onto the bed beside him. He kissed his forehead, carefully climbing off the bed, ready to have the final face off with his father.

He charged down the stairs like a man on a mission, finding his father sat alone in his office, drinking a scotch to end his day.

Nick slammed the door to his office shut, alerting the man to his presence.

"Nicholas." The man straightened up in his seat, setting his glass down on the desk. "Can I interest you in a drink?"

"No." His son barked at him. "Where do you get off tellin' a six year old that God made a mistake when he made him?"

Judge Stokes gave him a clueless look, before he topped off his own glass. "I don't know what you've been told, but I never said that. God doesn't make mistakes." He was already a little tipsy, but he appeared to be telling the truth. "It's weak minded humans that make mistakes." He looked directly at his son.

"So you didn't tell him that he was stayin' here with you, while I go back to Vegas alone?"

The man stared into his drink a moment, before he gave him a slight nod. "I might have told him that one. Just because he's the spawn of a sinner, doesn't mean he has to become one. If you cared about that child at all, you would have let him go when I told you to."

"I care about him more than you'd ever know."

He chortled into his drink, downing the whole glass in one go. "You don't care about him. Raisin' him in your lifestyle is destroyin' his life. Yeah he's alright about it now, but what happens when he's a teenager and learns that what you're doin' is against nature? He won't want anythin' to do with you. He'll hate you. The sight of you will disgust him. You should do that boy a favour and let him live with normal people. Someone that he doesn't hate."

"He's a child, he doesn't know how to hate. And he's my son, not yours."

"Great job you're doing there, boy." He sarcastically remarked. "I've been there for that kid more than you and I only ever see him once a year... if I'm lucky."

"Where were you when Evan started breathin' on his own for the first time?" Nick asked his father, taking a few steps closer to the man. "How about the first time he could feed from a bottle by himself? The first time he was strong enough to be held? You were here, wishin' him dead because of your feelin's for me. He's an innocent little boy. Wishin' your grandchild dead goes against nature. Why is it always one rule for you and another for everybody else? Did Aunt Lisa have to put up with all your crap?"

"You know that we don't talk about her." The Judge topped off his glass again.

"Why not? Are you ashamed of your brother? You never talk about him. Do you wish him dead or tell him he deserves to be in a mental institute for the way he feels?

"Lisa." The man hissed the name. "My sister was born with a condition. What you're doin' has nothin' to do with my sister, so we don't need to talk about her. Clearly I made a mistake when I agreed to have another child with your mother. Six was enough, but oh no, she wanted another son and here you are. You might as well be the devil's advocate."

"Bill!" Jillian burst into the room, giving her husband a scowl. She overheard the door slam on her way up the stairs, glad she decided to stick around. "I told you not to get into this with him this weekend."

"Why, because it'll hurt his feelin's? What about my feelin's, Jilly?" He slammed his glass down against his desk. "I don't want some... fruit as a son. All this bull crap about bein' born gay. There's another statement from a weak minded human. To say that you were born gay is implyin' that God made a mistake."

"Bill." She folded her arms across her chest. "Your sister was not born a girl. She was a man for thirty years of her life. Did God not make a mistake when he made her body male and her mind female?"

"My sister has a medical condition." He yelled. "A _proven_ medical condition. Nicholas chooses to be like this."

"Before your sister had that surgery, you would have said the exact same thing about transgendered people. Women must not wear men's clothes, and men must not wear women's clothes. Everyone who does such things is detestable to the Lord God." She remembered the passage word for word that he always used to quote. "Stop being so self righteous all the time. You're turning into a bitter old man, just like your father. We don't need to bring all this up again."

"I think now is exactly the time that we need to do this. He's finally here in our house where we raised him and he's still defyin' us." Judge Stokes pushed himself to his feet, almost toppling over from the speed of his sudden advance. "There is nothin' in the Bible about two men or two women bein' together. Same sex relationships are sinful in his eyes. You should be crucified for doin' this to us."

"Bill..."

"God doesn't make mistakes!" The man practically screamed this time. He sounded like a whiny child, especially with the slurring of his words from the alcohol he had consumed.

"If that's the case then Nicky is exactly the way he was meant to be. Your sister is exactly where she's meant to be and you..."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Jillian. _He_ is conspirin' with the devil." He pointed an accusing finger towards his son. " _He_ is a freak, a disappointment... and not my son."

"He _is_ your son. You accept your sister because the doctors slapped a label on her condition, well your son has a disorder that you won't even acknowledge. He is intersexed. He has a genetic disorder that allowed him to carry Evan in the first place. Why can you accept your sister but not your own son?"

"Because he chose this life long before any of us knew about this condition. He brought it on himself."

"He who is without sin cast the first stone." Jillian rolled her eyes at her husband. "One rule for you, a different one for everyone else, aye Bill? I wonder sometimes how you ever became a Judge."

Nick gulped softly looking between his parents, wishing he had never come downstairs. He never could argue with his father. He could argue with anyone else, but once his father started shouting, he buttoned right up, terrified to say a word back to him.

He watched the two of them becoming red in the face as they continued their argument about him, wishing he was anywhere but here.

"No, Jillian. I've held my tongue for long enough." The Judge barked back at her. "To say that he was born like this is to say that God made a mistake. God created man with male reproductive organs. Man cannot have baby's. Real men do not lie with other men. This is _his_ choice. A vile lifestyle choice that goes against everythin' we believe in. _He_ is not my son."

"He _is_ your son. Maybe his condition was a mistake, maybe it was meant to be. We'll never know." Jillian held her head in her hands a moment, seeing the stubborn old fool for who he was. "Either way, I won't have you do this to another one of my children. You don't even go to church. You don't exactly follow the ten commandments yourself, but you continue to lecture everyone around you on your version of God's will. I haven't had all my children under one roof in over a decade because of you. You've pushed all of them away. Lily won't even talk to me anymore because of you. Quite frankly, I'm sick of being stuck with you too. Staying with Nicky these past few weeks was a blessing. Life is too damn short to be stuck in a loveless marriage with a stubborn old fool."

"You can't leave me," He almost choked on his drink with a smirk. "I'm your husband, Jillian. You took a vow, till death do us part."

"I would rather be dead then suffer one more year with you!" She glared right back at him, before she turned towards the door. "I'm stayin' over at Gwen's tonight. I'll send for my things in a few days. You can leave all the dishes in the sink you like, I'm not going to be here to clean up your messes anymore. If you don't watch your step, you're going to end up all by yourself, just like your father."

Clutching the glass in his hand a little tighter, Judge Stokes watched his wife turning her back on him, leaving him stood alone in his office with the biggest disappointment in his life. He breathed softly a moment as he stared at his son, his fingers turning whiter around the glass.

Letting his anger get the better of him, the man launched his glass into the air, sending it hurtling towards his son.

Nick jerked back, watching the glass meant for him shattering to pieces against the wall beside him.

From the corner of his eye he saw his father's fist coming towards him.

He blocked the first, flinched back as the blow from his other hand knocked him in the ribs. His father was a lot taller than him, but certainly not stronger, especially in his drunken state.

He caught the old man off balance, pushing him away from him as a sharp sting set into his ribs.

Judge Stokes managed to catch himself before he toppled over, strengthening the grip of his fist, charging towards his son with a vengeance.

Nick's body seemed to react on its own, without conscious thought. He had no intention of hurting his father, but something clicked in his head. He had to defend himself, no matter who it was delivering the punches. He punched his father back, taking another blow to the ribs, before he managed to push the angry drunk away from him.

This time Judge Stokes lost his footing, tripping over the coffee table in the middle of the room. He landed hard on his back, wincing as he tried to sit up. He slapped away his son's attempt to help him, giving him an angry scowl.

"Get away from me. You can get out and all. I don't want you under my roof. Get out, you freak!"

Nick looked down at the pitiful man on the ground, wondering why he was so afraid him. He had put his whole life on hold for this man. He had pushed Greg away, lied to his son, kept the real him hidden from his friends, all because of one man who couldn't keep his own life in order.

In that moment, he realised that Greg had been right all along.

His father had no power over him.

Turning for the door behind him, Nick stepped out into the hall, feeling a rush of air sweeping over him. He pulled the door shut behind him, feeling his heart starting to race. He felt as though he could barely breathe. The walls were closing in on him. He didn't know what was happening, but he had to get out.

He took the stairs up two at a time, running straight for his childhood room. He scooped up his sleeping son from the bed, ignoring the pain in his ribs as he carried his son out of the house that no longer felt like a home. He felt as though he was escaping a prison. He didn't stop running until he was halfway down the driveway, feeling as though he was finally free.

Freedom at long last.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading the story so far.**

 **No feedback has me worried. Is CSI fanfiction totally dead now that the show has stopped?**

 **~ Holly**


	14. Chapter 13 - Quality Time

**Chapter Thirteen - Quality Time**

Watching his Papa Olaf throwing his line out in the water for a second time, Greg clutched his knees closer to his chest, feeling a cold morning breeze sweeping through his hair. He never much liked the actual fishing part of going fishing with his father. He found the sitting around waiting for bites part boring as a child. He got more bites from the mosquitoes then he ever did from the fish. He only came on these trips because it was the only time he ever got to spend with his father.

It seemed even more dull now that he was an adult, but it was the only time he would get with his father, until he was back in Las Vegas. Besides it was either this or listen to his mother lecturing him on his love life again.

Sitting out in the cold, being eaten alive by mosquitoes seemed like the lesser of two evils right now.

"You're not keeping an eye on your line." The man in question sat himself down beside him, picking up his son's rod from the ground. "It's all tangled." He made quick work of untangling his line for him, expertly drawing it out a little further into the water where the fish were more likely to get it. "You might have a bit more luck now." He presented him with a smile, gently tapping his son's knee as he continued to stare off into space. "Hey, Greg. Are you with me, firecracker?"

"Yeah." Greg presented him with a slight smile. "Sorry, my mind is a million miles away."

"I'm gonna take a wild guess here... Nick?" Papa Olaf piped in, cracking a smile as he saw the look on his grandson's face. "I don't see why you're still hung up on him. What's it been like eight years since you were last together?"

"Six." Greg corrected him, not willing to tell him that he had already got back with him.

"Ignore him." Daniel clasped his hand over his son's, giving him a sympathetic smile. "Talk to him when you get back. If you really love him... and I know you do, you'll give him the chance to explain."

"I know, it's the talking part that has me nervous. What if he tells me exactly what I've been thinking? What am I supposed to do then?" Greg asked, still feeling a little awkward about talking to his father about guys. He first told him that he was into guys not girls at the age of fifteen. He was definitely more open to it than his mother was around that age, but he always felt awkward asking him for advice or telling him all about his latest crush.

"Well... if he did cheat on you with this other woman, it was six, nearly seven years ago. You'll have to decide if you can forgive him for that. It might be hard to trust him again, but if you really love him, I think the two of you can get past anything."

"Would you forgive Mom if she ever cheated on you?" Greg suddenly asked, feeling a shudder running down his spine at the thought of his parents breaking up.

Daniel shrugged his shoulders together, reminding him, "We've been together since we were fourteen. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I can't imagine your mother being with anyone else either. We have the occasional argument here and there. Your mother did actually cheat on me when we were kids. I thought we were exclusive, but she started dating this football player for a few months. She still came over to study, copy my homework and all that. It wasn't until I picked a fight with him at school that she decided she'd rather just be with me."

"A fight? You." Greg couldn't help but smile at his father. He had to be the most gentle man on earth. He couldn't imagine him hurting anyone. "Did you win?"

"Oh no." He grinned, shaking his head. "He knocked me down to the ground before I even got close. Turns out that was all your mother needed to notice me."

"Nothing like a bit of romance with blood gushing from your nose." Papa Olaf smirked, pulling his line in again. "I remember that football player. He was a real tool. Put his feet up on the dinner table when he came round. Never liked him, but I still thought she could do better than you. Two years later you were still hanging round her though, then you went and knocked her up with this one and you've been inseparable since. We thought you'd be long gone after you went off to your fancy college, but you kept coming back." He cracked a grin.

"I kept coming back because Jean and Greg are the best things that have ever happened to me." Daniel pointed out to the old man, who still continued to torment him after all these years. He turned his attention back to his son, giving him a reassuring smile. "Your mother and I are strong after all these years because we talk. Anything on our minds, any problems, we talk them through. We don't keep anything from each other. It also helps that we have a lot of family support." He glared in the direction of his father in law. "But we also had you. Having you made us stronger. Maybe one day when you have your own child, you'll know how that feels. Not saying that you have to have one to be happy."

"I think we both know that's never going to happen." Greg gave his father a smile, clutching his knees a little closer.

"Never say never." Daniel tapped his son's leg. "You never know what the future holds until you get there. Speaking of the future, when are you next planning on visiting us?"

"I haven't even gone yet and you're already asking when you'll see me again? You're beginning to sound like Mom."

"Two years is a long time, Greg. We had you living under our roof for what... eighteen, nineteen years. It feels like longer. Nothing prepares you for the day your baby boy decides that it's time to move away from you. I know it's all part of growing up, but you'll always be our son. We practically grew up with you, now it feels as though you want nothing to do with us. It's hard not being able to see you all the time."

"I thought Mom was the one who likes to dish out the guilt?" Greg ran his fingers through his hair, giving his father a guilty smile. "I know and I'm sorry. I've been busy."

"Lay off the boy, Daniel." Papa Olaf piped in, reeling in another fish. "He's growing up."

"Yeah, too damn fast." Daniel playfully ruffled his fingers through his son's hair, leaning forwards to peck a kiss to his forehead. "I love you, kiddo."

"No more than I love you." The older man grinned in his direction. "And I'll tell you what, if you're too busy to come out here and see us for Christmas, maybe we should all head over your way. Can you fit us all in your apartment?"

" _I_ barely fit in my apartment." Greg shook his head, grabbing his phone as it started to vibrate. He hadn't answered a single call from Nick since he left and it appeared the older man had finally caught on. No texts or missed calls for the past eight hours.

The new text was from Catherine, making his heart sink a little. She was just updating him on work, nothing important. He shoved the phone back into his pocket, giving his father a slight smile.

"I'll make it back for Christmas, I swear. I'll make sure I'm not on shift."

"You know you can come back and see us whenever. It doesn't just have to be the holidays. Just don't let it get to two years before we see you again." Daniel gave his son a smile.

"No or we'll come knocking." Papa Olaf called out to him. "Pick up your line, boy. You've got a bite."

Greg sat forwards, reaching out for his fishing rod in front of him. He really never saw the thrill of fishing, snuffing out the life of innocent fish, but he still remembered his first catch. His father lifted him high off the ground, spinning him around in the air with a proud smile on his face. He wondered if he still made him proud or was he just a constant disappointment that couldn't get his life together.

And couldn't reel in a fish.

* * *

From the window of her kitchen, Lillian watched the children playing outside, smiling as her baby brother's little boy jumped for joy on the trampoline. She didn't know what to expect when they arrived at her door after midnight last night. She couldn't sleep worrying about her younger brother all night. She didn't even know he was back in Texas, let alone showing up at her doorstep in the middle of the night.

"Is that Nick's boy?" Her husband, Anthony trudged into the kitchen, surprised that the kids were up so early and actually playing in the garden, rather then sat in front of the television. He joined his wife by the counter, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek as she prepared waffles and coffee. "What's Evan doin' here then?"

"Nick's here, asleep in the guest bedroom upstairs. He showed up in the middle of the night with Evan in his arms, crying his eyes out. Apparently he got into it with the Judge last night and he couldn't stay there. Other than that, I couldn't get much sense out of him. I don't even know why he would go back there after everything. Dad treated him like dirt. Personally, if I were him, I would have stayed away longer than two years. You couldn't pay me to spend any time with my father."

"Hey, easy." Anthony wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly in his arms.

Lillian breathed in a deep breath, giving her husband a smile. "I'm sorry. I can't help but feel that this is somehow my fault. If I had told them all the truth, then they would have stayed well away from that man."

"It's not your fault. How longs he stayin'?"

"Don't worry, he won't interfere with your plans." She cracked a smile at him. "He's got a flight back to Las Vegas in a few hours. I called Billy this morning. He's gonna pack Nick and Evan's things up at the ranch and bring them round shortly. I better get these off to Nick. Can you keep an eye on the kids for a few minutes?"

"Yeah, sure."

Serving up another batch of waffles onto a new plate, Lillian stepped around her husband to grab the extra coffee mug, taking the stairs up to the guest bedroom. She gave the door a light knock, before she stepped inside, finding her last minute guest still passed out across the bed spread. She hadn't seen her baby brother in over two years now and she never expected him to show up at her doorstep in the middle of the night with tears streaming down his cheeks and his sleeping baby boy in his arms, but she wasn't about to turn him away.

Lily set the plate and coffee mug down on the bedside table, gently stroking her fingers through her brother's hair to try and wake him up. "Hey, it's just me. I got you some coffee and breakfast. Evan ate already."

Nick rolled his head back against the pillow, taking a moment to get his bearings. He brushed the heavy sleep from his eyes, looking at his oldest sister beside him. Lillian was the one who always looked most like their mother. She was a lot taller than her, but their bone structure in their features was almost identical. She always played the motherly role to her younger siblings growing up. When their own mother was busy, Lillian was always happy to step in be there for them so she was the obvious choice during his time of need.

"Hey." He rubbed his eyes again, struggling to sit himself up. "Did Evan sleep?"

"Oh yeah, he was out like a light the moment I put him down on the spare bed in the boys room." Lily sat herself down, handing her brother the plate of waffles first. "He was a little confused when he woke up, but he perked up after breakfast. They're all out in the garden now. They were showing him how to skate board earlier. Don't worry, he's wearing a helmet. Now they're on the trampoline. We just got it a few months ago. Kids adore it."

"Skate boardin' now?" Nick gave her a slight smile. "You know, because of you I had to buy him his own roller blades. We have to take those things everywhere just so he can use them."

"We've got a spare skate board somewhere if he likes it. You can take it back with you." His sister suggested, giving him a warm smile. "Billy's getting your things from the ranch. What time is your flight back?"

"Ten." Nick grabbed the clock on the nightstand, turning it towards him. He was more than eager to get back home now. He brushed the sleep from his eyes, before he grabbed the cutlery off his plate and dug into his breakfast.

"So, last night," Lily gave him a curious look. "You said something about Mama leaving and Dad starting a fight with you?"

Nick finished off his mouthful of waffle, before he gave her a slight nod. "That's the gist of it."

"Mama would never leave him. I know he's an asshole sometimes, but Mama never seems to notice. What happened?"

"She noticed." He shrugged his shoulders together, shovelling another mouthful of waffle into his mouth. He gulped it down, looking up into his big sister's eyes. "The way he looked at me. It was like he blamed me for it. Then he just lunged at me. I've seen people with that look before. They're usually the ones who committed murder."

"Dad wouldn't."

"He wished me dead. As good as. If I didn't defend myself and he hadn't been drinkin', he probably would have too." Nick carved himself another piece of waffle, trying not to relive the events of last night, but they had been running through his mind all night. "I can't wait to be out of here."

"I don't blame you for that one." Lily gave him a slight smile, quickly changing the subject. "Evan's growing up fast. First grade already. I still remember him crawling around here, getting into everything. He scared the dogs off crawling after them."

Nick smiled at the memory, shoving the last mouthful of waffle into his mouth. He grabbed the coffee beside him, before he confessed, "I told him about, Greg. Finally. I'm gonna tell Greg when I get back."

"Good." Lily reached out for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "The Judge never should have forced you into keeping something like that a secret." She looked down at their hands, gulping softly. "He's always going on about telling the truth, but he tells more lies than anyone. He's always hiding the truth. He's nothing but a liar."

"Are you okay?" Nick saw a tear in his sister's eye.

Lillian nodded her head, brushing it away as it ran down her cheek. "I didn't tell you before... because you had only just had Evan at the time and I didn't want to upset you. I've been telling the Judge's lies, so I wouldn't trash the family name. My second abortion," She lifted her gaze to meet her brother's. "It wasn't because the baby had birth defects. You'd think after the first one, I wouldn't have been able to go through with it, but I couldn't cope."

"Couldn't cope with what?"

"My first abortion really was because the baby wasn't growing properly or in the wrong place anyway. I wanted to keep it, but it had already started growing outside the womb and it was barely surviving." She still felt the need to justify her decision to her family.

Nick had never questioned her reasons, but she could tell that he was had judged her by the way he looked her after he found out.

"Six years ago... I was raped." She confessed to her baby brother, breathing in a deep breath, before she opened up to him. "I... I-I knew him. Not well, but well enough. One day... I mentioned to him that we were in the market for a new dining table. He said... he told me that he was selling his and asked me to come round and take a look at it. Anthony was out with the kids, so I thought why not. I-I went round and..."

Nick clutched his sister's hand tightly, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. He saw the tears in her eyes, wishing he had come back sooner just to be there for her.

Lillian shook her head, looking into her brother's eyes. "He didn't even let me see the table..." She wiped her eyes, anxiously licking her bottom lip. "You never think that this kind of thing can happen to you. I'm always careful, with the children especially. I thought that I would just see the table... it's my own fault. I didn't think that he might..."

"Lily, it's not your fault." He shook his head. "What happened to you isn't your fault at all."

Nick reached out for his sister's other hand, wondering how he had never figured it out. He could always spot victims. He had been round them long enough to notice their behaviour. His sister had changed so much. She hadn't been bubbly and chatty in years. She used to wear elegant dresses and always have her hair done, but lately it was baggy clothes and the same plain ponytail. He noticed that she was rather jumpy the last time he visited, but he didn't think anything of it.

"I didn't do anything to stop him. I couldn't move. I tried to scream. He crushed my wind pipe with his elbow..." Lillian pulled her hand away to hold her throat, feeling the memory of it coming back. "I didn't go to the hospital for two days. I didn't want anyone to see me after... I showered. I know, you're not supposed to shower. I'm always watching those lifetime movies thinking you stupid girl, don't shower." She shook her head, running her fingers back through her hair.

"It's okay." Nick shook his head, biting his lip. "Did you tell anyone?"

"A nurse at the hospital... first person I told." She nodded. "She convinced me to talk to the police. They did a rape kit... but apparently I wasn't bruised enough and my shower disrupted their evidence. I told Anthony when I got home... I thought he would hate me, leave me or worse... but he stuck by me. Without him, I don't think I would have got through it. I told Mom and Dad when I got a court date. My case made it to trial, if you can call it that. He sat there and told his lies that we had been seeing each other for the better part of a year. Said he tried to break it off with me, but I got mad and accused him of rape. His lawyer told them all that I was just a jealous temptress. Daddy dearest believed the bastard too."

She blurted it all out, wiping away the tears spilling down her cheek.

"I found out I was pregnant after the trial. I had an abortion. Dad pushed me to have it. I went in there believing that it was the right thing to do, but it was a baby. It wasn't responsible for what happened..." Lillian's tears dripped off her chin onto her blouse, prompting her to find a tissue in the nightstand beside the bed.

"It's not your fault." Nick retrieved the pack of Kleenex for her.

"Which part? Because I accepted Dad's lie. Anthony knows the truth, but the kids think I got rid of their brother or sister because there was something wrong with it. I didn't tell them. Granddad thought they had the right to know the lie. He had no right telling them. It was my baby." She held her stomach, relieved to finally get some of her emotional baggage off her chest. "I've regretted getting rid of my baby every day since. I see Evan out there and wonder what I would have had if I had kept it..." She shook her head, before she attempted to dry her eyes with the tissues. "Anyway, that's why I haven't spoken to Dad in years and I don't plan on ever speaking to him again."

"With you on that one," Nick regretted ever coming to Texas even more now. "Dad made me invent a fake mother for Evan, just because he couldn't bear the thought that I'm different. He's... manipulative. We don't need him in our lives. You don't need him."

"You believe me?" She wiped the tears from both her eyes, surprised that someone from her family really believed her.

"Of course, I do. You're my sister. You've always been there for me. You have no reason to lie to me." He slowly leant forwards, putting his arms around her shoulders. He clutched her tightly when she returned the embrace, wishing he could get his hands on the man who did this to her. "You haven't told anyone else?"

"No... no," Lily dried her eyes, pulling back from her brother. "Anthony, you, Mama... and Dad, that's it. The Judge told me not to. He didn't want me to tarnish the family name. I hate myself for going along with it. He would rather think of me as an adulterous than a rape victim."

"I believe you." He clutched her hands tighter. "I wish you told me sooner so I could have been here for you. I'm your brother. I'll love you no matter what."

Lillian finally gave him a smile, climbing to her feet off the bed. "Well, aren't we a pair. You were in tears last night now I look like a drowned rat." She grabbed herself another tissue, washing away the last of her tears. "We better get you two off. Don't want you missing your flight. Billy should be here soon with your things. I dressed Evan in some of Petey's old things. They're too small for him now, so you can keep them. They're not quite iron man, but I think he's okay with them for now. When did that obsession start?"

"I don't know." Nick shrugged his shoulders together, finishing off his coffee. "We've been through tractors, trains, robots, fire engines and dinosaurs in the past year alone. I can't even remember what I was into at that age."

"At six years old?" Lily tried to think back. "I seem to remember a lot of model air planes being built around then. You had quite a few comic books. Those little army men that you pull out of the plastic and paint. Oh and those Ninja turtle things. You loved those things. I remember when you lost one, we all had to stop everything we were doing to find it, so you would stop crying." She playfully ruffled her fingers through his hair. "You and Dad were really into that Cisco kid show too."

Nick nodded slightly, pushing himself towards the edge of the bed. "Feels like another life now."

"Tell me about it." Lily sighed softly, relieved that someone else in the family knew the truth. "Bathrooms through there. I put some fresh towels out for you."

"Thank you." He waved his sister off, before he stepped into the bathroom. He grabbed himself a quick shower, stepping out just as his brother, Billy arrived with his bags. He grabbed some fresh clothes, before he checked his phone for messages. He sighed softly as his inbox was empty and his messages to Greg still hadn't gotten a reply. "Did you see Dad this mornin?" He asked his brother.

"Passed out drunk in his office. What the hell happened last night, Nicky?"

"Too long and complicated to explain." Nick zipped up his case, grabbing his son's iron man action figure off the side. He couldn't leave without Iron Man. Evan would never forgive him for that. He turned to look at his brother, sensing the judgement just from the look in his eyes. "I didn't mean to stir up trouble between..."

"It's not your fault." Billy cut him off. "Seriously Nicky, this has been comin' for a long time. You haven't been back with us for the past two years. Mama and Dad... they've been growin' apart for years. When they're together, all they do is argue. Christmas last year, we all ended up leavin' before presents, just to get away from their arguin'. They sounded like bickerin' children. Honestly, this doesn't really surprise me. It'll probably blow over as soon as Mama calms down anyway."

"I don't think so. Not this time anyway." Nick shook his head, hearing the patter of tiny feet hurrying up the stairs. He turned for the door, scooping up his son as he came running inside. "Hey, my little monster." He breathed in his son's familiar scent, even more eager to get home now. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." Evan rested his head against his father's shoulder. "My bed had batman sheets on it."

"Batman." Billy gave him a dramatic gasp. "That's awesome. I wish I still had batman bed sheets."

Evan looked in the man's direction. "But you're too old for Batman."

"Too old?" His uncle approached him, giving him a playful tickle. "How old do you think I am?"

Evan giggled and squirmed in his father's arms, giving his uncle a cheeky smile. "I don't know... a hundred?"

"A hundred?" Billy tickled him again, recognising so much of his brother in his adorable little features. Even his laugh reminded him so much of Nick's at that age. He was always such a happy giggly child. He missed his younger brother being that happy. "You think I'm a hundred years old? Your Granddad isn't even a hundred. How could I be that old?"

"You have grey hairs." Evan continued his cheeky grin, clutching his father's shoulder tightly.

"I'd have to agree with him on that one." Nick gave his older brother a smile.

"Bloody cheek, this here is stress from havin' to deal with ungrateful teenagers." He pointed to his hair, playfully jabbing Evan in the side. "Are you going to be a nightmare for your old man one day? I tell you, teenagers drive you up the wall. Don't ever grow up, kiddo." Billy smiled as the child wrapped his little arms around his father's shoulders, hugging him tightly. He tried to remember the last time any of his kids even gave him a hug, but it was too long ago to remember now.

"Are you ready to go home, baby?" Nick turned his attention back to his son.

Evan shrugged his shoulders together, a little sad that they were leaving so soon.

"You better hurry if you wonna get there in time." Billy pointed out the time to his brother, watching him going through his bags again. "Traffic is already startin' to pile up out there."

"I'm ready." Nick zipped them all the way up, setting his son down on the floor. "Let's go say thank you to Aunt Lily, then we'll be on our way." He made sure to grab his phone on his way out, following his son down the stairs.

"Hey, are you ready?" Lily climbed up from the sofa, where she was sitting with her children.

"I think so." Nick nodded, setting his bag down by the door. "Thank you for lettin' us stay here last night."

"Oh, don't worry." She blew it off, giving her baby brother another quick hug. "Don't be a stranger, okay? Hey, maybe you can spend Christmas with us. Anthony's folks are jetting off to Singapore this year, so it's just us and the kids. We'd love to have you here."

"I'd love to." Nick held her tighter, wishing he could stay just to be there for her.

"Hey, what about me?" Billy asked, picking his brother's bags up. "You never invite me around."

"You only live down the block, Billy." Lily giggled softly, letting her brother go. "C'mere, you." She knelt down, pulling her little nephew into her embrace. She struggled not to cry as she held him in her arms, wishing they could stay for just a few more days. "Oh, you've gotta stop growing up so fast. Hey, look after your Daddy, okay? You're a big boy now, so you can look out for him." She playfully ruffled her fingers through his hair, giving the adorable little boy a smile. "Hopefully we'll see you again soon." She patted him on the back, not holding onto her hopes on that one. "Kids, can you stop watching the television for just a moment to say goodbye to your Uncle and cousin, please?"

Nine year old, Petey climbed to his feet first, hurrying round the sofa into his favourite uncle's arms. If it wasn't for his bright blue eyes that he inherited from his father's side, he was almost a miniature version of Nick himself.

"Bye, bud." Nick hugged him tightly in his arms. "Hey, are you on the football team yet?"

"Baseball." Petey shook his head. "I don't like football anymore."

"He couldn't have figured that out _before_ we bought him the new football gear." Lillian remarked, folding her arms across her chest. "Hey if Evan ever gets into football, we've got all the gear. The football boots are brand new. It'll save me having to sell them on eBay or something. I'll go get em. You can take them with you. C'mon kids, uncle Nicky and Evan are leaving. Come say goodbye." She ushered them up from their chairs as she hurried away.

"Mommy, can we give Evan my old skate board? The blue one still has all the wheels on it." Petey hurried after his mother.

"Bye, uncle Nicky." His niece stepped forwards to hug him, joined by her twin sister. They used to be really hard to tell apart, especially with their matching outfits and hairstyles, but now at the age of eleven, they looked completely different. He still couldn't tell them apart though, only because he hadn't been around them in years and they looked so grown up already.

Their older teenage brother rather reluctantly climbed to his feet next, giving the man the slightest hug, before he sat himself down again. He didn't expect much from him since he was well into his teens, but it made him a little fearful of his future with his own child.

"Here they are." Lillian hurried down the stairs, placing the new shoe box in her brother's arms. She opened it up, showing him the football boots inside. "They're probably a little big for him at the moment, but you can keep em until he grows into them. Save them from going to waste and kids grow so quick anyway. I've got some more clothes upstairs. I'll send them to you once we've gone through them."

"Are you sure?" Nick looked at the expensive boots in his hands, wondering when his sister would learn to stop spoiling her kids. She had always been the same. Anything her kids wanted, they got. They didn't have to earn it or be on their best behaviour to get it, she just spoiled them rotten with anything they wanted and most of it just went to waste because they didn't appreciate the stuff she constantly bought for them.

"Yeah, they'll only go to waste if we don't give them away. Evan will probably get a lot more use out of them then Petey ever did." She turned to watch her son running down the stairs, presenting Evan with the blue skate board that looked as though it had never been used either.

"Thank you." Nick boxed them back up. "What do you say, Evan?" He reminded his son of his manners.

"Thank you." He quickly responded, clutching the skate board tightly against his chest.

"You are most welcome, sweetheart." Lillian gave him a warm smile, going for the door. "Let's get you set off then. You don't want to miss your flight. Have you got everything?"

"I think so." Nick double checked that he had his phone, hoping that Greg had got back to him, but still nothing.

"Let me take that for you, kiddo." Billy lifted the skate board out of his nephew's hands, ushering him out the door.

Evan ran down the driveway towards his uncle's truck with Iron man flying out in front of him, pulling to a stop before he reached the shiny black surface of the truck. He waited patiently for the grownups to make their way towards him, giggling softly as his father scooped him up into his arms, lifting him inside. He waved goodbye to his cousin, Petey out the window, waving until he couldn't see him anymore.

"Alright, you're all set." Lillian lunged forwards to give her brother another hug. "Don't be a stranger, okay?" She smoothed her hand across his shoulders, giving him a smile as she pulled back. "Hey if you can't make it up here for the holidays, maybe we could come to you?"

"You'd never squeeze your lot into his little bachelor pad." Billy chuckled, tapping the watch on his wrist. "C'mon Nicky, we gotta get goin'. Later, sis." He waved to his sister, trying to usher her away more than say goodbye. He didn't like being held up, but he hated being stuck in traffic even more.

"Bye." Nick finally climbed into the truck, pulling his belt on. He waved to his sister as they backed out of the driveway, relieved that they were finally going home.

The drive to the airport was long and boring. Evan played with Iron Man for a while, before he started looking through his bag beside him. "Daddy... where's my photo?" He asked, pulling everything out of the way. "Daddy, it's not here."

"What's not there?" Nick turned to look round at him.

"My photo of my Daddy! We have to go back."

"Hey, hey... it's okay. I have plenty of photos of Greg at home. It's probably in my suitcase in the back." He reached his hand through the seats, holding his son's hand in his own. He didn't think he would get so attached to the idea of Greg so soon. He was relieved that he hadn't rejected the idea of him, but he was worried about what would happen if Greg didn't accept him.

He knew what it was like to be rejected by your own father all too well. He didn't want his own to have to go through that.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for your reviews on the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one.**

 **Have a great weekend.**

 **~ Holly**


	15. Chapter 14 - Back on Track

**Chapter Fourteen - Back on Track**

"Look at this one, it looks good."

Ushering her son over to the dining table where she was sat, Jean pulled out the chair beside her, giving her son a smile as he reluctantly slumped down in the chair. She couldn't bear the thought of her son living in a cupboard sized apartment anymore, so she was determined to find him somewhere more suitable to his needs, regardless of what he said.

"It's still only got the one room, but it's a nice apartment. The kitchens a little small, but look it has its own built in washer and dryer. The family room is large enough for one of those sofa bed things if you ever happen to have any visitors." She gave him a playful tickle. "C'mon Greg, you've got to like one of them. There's over seven thousand listings here. Help me narrow it down a little. What's your budget?"

"I don't know if I'm comfortable telling you that."

"I'm your mother, Greg." She scowled at him, typing in a random number. "Higher or lower than that?"

"Higher." He sighed softly, pursing his lips together as she added on a little more. "Little higher. Higher... higher..."

"If I go any higher, you might as well look into getting a mortgage on a house rather than renting an apartment."

"I don't want a house. Or a mortgage."

"Why not? You get all your own space and more of it. It's your space too. You're not limited to what you can do with your space. Look at this one. Two bedrooms, one bathroom. Eight hundred square feet, your own garage that can hold two cars. It's only a mile from the city centre."

"I don't have two cars and I only need the one bedroom."

"Greg, if you have the money why not use it to better your own life? Instead of wasting it on rent every month, you can put it into a mortgage on a nice house. Why do you continue to pick out these dingy little apartments? Las Vegas has some beautiful houses. Look how high the ceilings are in this house. Look at that, there's a waterfall right in the front room. I would live there if your Papa and Nana Olaf were willing to move with us."

"Why do I need a waterfall in the front room?" He couldn't help but smile. "I don't like the big flashy houses in Las Vegas. Look at that one." He pointed towards the photo of a front room and kitchen. The floors were all black tile. The walls were all white and every piece of furniture was either chrome or white. "It's flashy and dull. I don't like it. I want something normal, something homely like this." Greg motioned around the house he grew up in. "There's no point in me buying a house that I really want, if it's only ever going to be me living it."

"Never say never." Nana Olaf overheard, giving him a smile as she stepped into the kitchen. "Although I'd have to agree with you on the house front. There's no point in him buying a big house just yet, Jean. What would he do with all the space?"

"Oh, I don't know why I bother." Jean slammed her laptop shut, pushing herself to her feet. "Go ahead and live in a dump. No one ever listens to me anyway."

"Mom, I didn't even say anything." He knew that she was only overreacting because he was heading home soon, but he didn't want to deal with her drama right now. "Mom, I don't even know if I'm going to stay in Las Vegas."

"What?" Both his mother and Nana Olaf looked at him open mouthed.

Greg shrugged his shoulders together, leaning back in his seat. He anxiously folded his arms across his chest, trying to avoid the looks the two most powerful women in his life were giving him. "I'm just thinking that maybe I made a mistake going back there. It doesn't feel like I really belong there. They're not exactly very welcoming and..."

"Nick." His mother assumed, rolling her eyes at her son. "You can't leave them again. You've only been back a few weeks. No one's going to take you seriously if you keep leaving all the time."

"Michael said there would always be a place for me in San Francisco, so it's not like I won't have any place to go. I hate letting down Grissom again, but I don't belong there. I only stayed on false hope that I could be with... you know who again. After I saw him again, all those feelings I had for him came rushing back and I loved him more than anything. Stupid I know, but it's not exactly the first time I've up routed my whole life for something that I thought was love." He reminded them both, dropping his head into his hands. "I'm still a gullible idiot who clings to anything that comes along."

"You're not gullible and you're certainly not an idiot." His mother rejoined him at the table, placing her hands over his on his head. "Sweetheart, you just love too deeply. It's not a bad thing, you just have to be more careful of who you give your heart to."

"That's terrible advice, Jean." Her mother disagreed with her, taking the seat the other side of her grandson. "If you don't put yourself out there, you may never find your soul mate. Just be yourself. Don't hesitate or slow down. Let yourself feel whatever it is that you feel. That way you'll always be following your heart, wearing your heart on your sleeve. It's a bold and brave way to love." She put her arms around his shoulders, pecking a kiss to the side of his head. "I told you, never change who you are to suit anyone. Just be yourself."

Jean rather reluctantly agreed with her mother, pulling her son's hands away from his head to look into his eyes. "Don't leave the lab, sweetheart. Not yet anyway. You said Nick is starting back at the lab tonight, right? Talk to him. You may not get the answers that you want, but at least you'll know for sure. Don't make any decisions until you've spoken to him."

"Everyone keeps saying that like it's easy." Greg leant back in his seat, looking between the two women. "I've already spoken to him. Not about the kid or any of it, but we kinda went out on... a date I guess. We talked and it felt like old times. Why wouldn't he have brought up his kid then? We kissed... before I knew it we were back at mine and... well, you can pretty much guess the rest."

"Greg." His Nana gave him a slightly surprised look. "You were only just with that guy, Michael a few weeks ago."

"Months." He interjected. "I haven't been with Michael in months. Two years to be exact. Even if I had, Nick is nothing like him. I never loved Michael. He didn't even really like me, he was just... there." Greg struggled to explain it to them. "He didn't care about me. I thought Nick did, but he's just like the rest of them. I keep opening my heart to these people and I never get anything back. Maybe it's just me. I'm unlovable."

"You're surrounded by people who love you." His mother squeezed his hand tightly in her own. "The family only gets together on the holidays because of you. You brought us all together. Granddad, Grangela, Papa, Nana, Uncle Mark, your father and me, we're all here together because of you. Wherever you go in life, whatever happens, you'll always have all of us. You're not unlovable. You're our lovable, Greg."

Jean hugged her son tightly in her arms, smiling as her mother immediately threw her arms around them both.

"Ow... can't breathe." Greg playfully choked, tapping out against his mother's shoulder.

"Oh, shut up you little monster." His mother only hugged him tighter. "We haven't had you back here in two years. We've got two years of hugs to make up for. When you were little, we used to get six or seven hugs a day. You do the math."

"I don't want to. It hurts too much already." He reluctantly surrendered to the hug, giving out a big gasp when they finally let him go.

"Shut up, you little turd." Jean playfully slapped the side of his head. "Now, we better get you fed before you head back and start your shift." She pushed herself to her feet. "Homemade pizza sound good to you?"

"Oh, yeah." Greg nodded, licking his lips. He hadn't had his mother's homemade pizzas since he was still in Highschool. He followed her through to the kitchen to help out, hoping to learn the recipe so he could make them himself one day. He had never really been that into cooking before, but he was really starting to enjoy cooking for himself lately, rather than ordering take out or nuking something in the microwave.

If only he had someone else to cook for.

* * *

"Daddy, I'm hot."

"I know. We're landin' soon, baby." Lifting his son off his lap, Nick sat him down on the chair beside him, fastening his seatbelt ready for their landing. He smiled at his adorable little boy, brushing away an eyelash from his little cheek. "I guess you won't want any dinner when we get home." He cleared away the packets of cookies he had been munching on for the past hour.

"I'm still hungry." Evan gave him an adorable smile. "Can we have pizza when we get home?"

"Do you want me to take those for you?" A flight attendant appeared beside them, taking the packets of cookies off Nick's hands. She had bright red hair, neatly tied back into a ponytail. She had been on her feet for nearly three hours, but she still looked as happy as she was when they got on the plane.

"Thank you." Nick gave her a smile, remembering a time when he would have tried to get her number, just to avoid being alone. He let her go without uttering another word, focusing all his attention on the child he had been neglecting for the past six weeks since he was rescued. "I don't think we have pizza at home. We can definitely have pizza another night though."

"Do you really have to go to work, Daddy?"

"I do. It's my first day back." Nick reminded him, fastening his own belt into place. "We need money to buy food and toys for you. I haven't been back to work in nearly seven weeks now. We have bills to pay and you're gonna need new clothes the way you keep growin'." He gave him a playful tickle. "You won't even notice I'm gone. It's your bed time when I go to work. You'll be sleepin' the whole time and I'll be back to take you to school in the mornin'."

"But if Grandma is still in Texas, where will I go?"

"Do you remember Catherine's mother, Ms Flynn? She's goin' to be takin' care of you for a while. Catherine's daughter, Lindsey is with her father, so she's comin' to our house this time." He double checked his son's belt around his waist, feeling the plane slowly descending towards the airport below.

Evan frowned, pouting his lip out at the man. "Can't I stay with Daddy Greg?"

"Ms Flynn isn't so bad."

Evan reached out for his father's hand, clutching it tightly as they landed.

They had to sit still for a few minutes once they made it the ground, watching the other passengers sorting through their luggage and things, before the flight attendants opened the doors and started letting people out. He watched his father unbuckling their seatbelts, waiting for the crowd to pass them by, before he scooped him up into his strong embrace.

"Thank you." Nick smiled at the crew, tapping the outside of the plane on their way out.

"Why you do that, Daddy?"

"For luck, my father wouldn't get on or off a plane without tappin' the outside of it first." He smiled at his son, feeling a dull ache in his heart. He didn't feel as though his father now was the same man he was back then. They seemed like two different people, especially after the way he treated him over the weekend.

"Can I stay with Daddy Greg while you're working?" Evan asked him again.

Nick pursed his lips together, giving his son a slight smile. He didn't want him to know that Greg had no idea that he even existed, but he couldn't keep lying to him all the time. "You can't. Greg is workin' the same shift as me tonight." He told the truth, more or less. "I can talk to him at work tonight. If you want to meet him, maybe we can arrange somethin'."

"Can I come with you to see him?"

"Not yet, baby." Nick gently tapped his back, lowering him to the floor, so he could grab their luggage. He grabbed their suitcase, making sure that it was still padlocked and had his name on it, before he made a move for the exit with Evan clutching his hand at his side. "Aunt Sara should be waitin' outside for us."

"I can see her." Evan pointed to the woman, pulling away from his father to run towards her. He weaved through the crowd of people, jumping into her arms as she bent down to greet him.

"Oh... hello." Sara grinned widely, hugging him tightly in her arms. "You've grown already. Gone two days and you're a few inches taller." She patted him on the head, playfully ruffling her fingers through his messy hair. "So, how was the plane ride?"

"Really boring. We went really high, but we couldn't see anything with all the clouds."

"Oh no." Sara pushed herself to her feet, giving Nick a smile as he made his way over to them. "Good to have you back in Vegas again. Refreshed and ready for your first shift back?"

"Not exactly." He realised how right she had been now that he was back. "Thanks for pickin' us up."

"It's alright. Someone had to be here to welcome you two home. Do you want me to carry anything?" Sara asked, immediately feeling Evan clinging to her side. She had never been a motherly person, but she took that as a sign to carry him. He was a lot heavier than she remembered, but still so adorable. He rested his little head against her shoulder as they made their way outside, where she led them through the busy car park to her spot.

"Isn't that Grissom's car?" Nick gave her a curious look. "Since when does the boss let you borrow his car?"

"Um..." Sara felt her cheeks flushing, realising what a mistake she had made. She had always been so careful before, how could she have made such a rookie mistake like driving her boyfriend's car to pick up her friend from the airport. "Yeah... uh... my car is... in the... the shop. Warrick's didn't have a back seat for Evan's booster seat and Greg's out of town, so Grissom let me use his." She came up with a quick excuse, hoping that he bought it.

"Greg's out of town?" Nick feared that he had left already, without even hearing him out.

"Oh, just for thanksgiving. He did really well on his case, so Grissom insisted that he take some time off with his family. He should be driving back now, because he's on shift with us tonight." Sara unlocked the car, lowering Evan to the floor, so he could climb in the back. She turned to help Nick with his case, but he already loaded it into the boot, thinking about Greg rather than the fact that Sara was driving Grissom's car.

The drive to his place was silent and a little awkward. She didn't know what to say, Evan was too tired to talk and Nick was staring out of the window beside him, trying to avoid conversation.

"Do you want me to stick around for a while?" Sara pulled up outside his house, cutting the engine off.

"No, thank you. We'll be alright. Catherine's mother is watchin' him tonight. We've just gotta do some cleanin' up and unpackin', before my first shift tonight." Nick climbed out the car, letting his son out the back. He remembered to grab the booster seat before he closed the door, while Sara carried their bags up the driveway with Evan's help. He unlocked the door for them, watching his son immediately dropping to his feet to remove his sneakers, while Sara found a space to prop up his suitcase.

"Daddy, I'm hungry."

"I know. Go wash your hands, bud. I'll make you somethin' in a minute." Nick cleared away his shoes, watching him hurrying down the hall to the bathroom.

"Nice skateboard." Sara handed it over to him. "Did you take it up in Texas?"

"No, my sister gave it to me for Evan. We got some football boots and new clothes too. So uh... Greg," He turned to look at Sara, taking the skateboard off her hands. "Was he okay, before he left for California. I tried to call him a few times."

"He seemed okay." Sara nodded slightly, shrugging her shoulders together. "He was pretty happy about his case. I didn't really talk to him that much. You're not telling him tonight, are you?" She quickly checked to make sure that Evan was still out of earshot, before she expressed her concerns. "You've just started working together again. Greg's just started his dream career in the lab he always wanted to work in. Shouldn't you tell him away from work so it doesn't affect your cases? He still doesn't even know that you have a child."

"I'd settle just for talkin' to him at this point. I still don't even know how to tell him. I've been plannin' this speech since Evan was born, but it still doesn't feel right. The fact that he's Greg makes it harder. He's unpredictable."

"You used to love him for that." Sara pointed out to him.

"I do still love him for that, but it makes it harder to talk to him. Tellin' his mother would be easier than tellin' him and she'll probably wonna hit me or somethin'." He confessed, clearing away the toys Evan had left out during their rush to get out of the house. "Tellin' his family actually scares me more than tellin', Greg."

"Why? You said his family were great."

"Oh, they are." Nick tossed a stuffed animal towards the sofa, looking up at Sara. "They'll probably throw out the welcome mat for Evan the moment they find out. Greg's mother will want photos, keepsakes... all the proof she can get her hands on. I'm just worried about how they'll feel about me." He ran his fingers through his hair, looking around at the pictures of his son scattered around the front room. "Evan is all I have. What if they try to seek custody or somethin'? You know what Greg's mother is like."

"No one is taking Evan away from you, Nick." Sara approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Least of all, Greg. He's not capable of hurting anyone, especially you. He'll always be in your corner, no matter what. Just talk to him. Greg's easy to talk to once you get him going. You won't know how he takes it until you tell him."

Nick nodded slightly, pursing his lips together as his miniature version of Greg came running into the room. "Did you wash under your fingernails too?"

"Yes, look." Evan held his clean hands up to him. "Daddy, can Sara stay for dinner?"

"Actually, I have to get going. I have to go home and get ready for work." Sara playfully ruffled her fingers through his adorable hair, giving him a smile. "But I promise that I'll stay for dinner another night. It's good to have you back in Las Vegas with us." She bent to give him a quick hug, wishing her uterus would stop screaming at her. She had never wanted a baby before, why did she feel the sudden urge to procreate now?

"Sara... thanks."

With a nod and a smile, Sara warmed his heart, before she disappeared out the door.

"Daddy, I'm hungry." Evan complained again, clutching his stomach.

Throwing the toys from his hands towards the toy box, Nick turned to look at his son, giving him a devilish smile. "Are you hungry, child? Do you know who's really hungry? Really, really hungry?" He put his hands out in front of him, stalking the child around the edge of the sofa. "The tickle monster!"

"No." Evan giggled, running around the other side of the sofa. He scrambled under the coffee table, giggling as he wriggled out of his father's reach. He ran down the hall towards his father's bedroom, shrieking as he crash landed on the bed spread. "No, Daddy. No." He giggled and squirmed as his father playfully tickled him. "Please tickle monster. No more!"

"Okay." His father ceased his tickling. He crashed onto the bed beside him, pressing a kiss to his forehead as his son panted for breath. "You beautiful little monster."

"I not a monster."

"You are, but you're a beautiful little monster." Nick kissed the side of his head this time, gently patting his tummy. "C'mon then, little monster. Let's get you fed, bathed and dressed for bed, before Ms Flynn gets here."

"I don't want a bath." Evan climbed off the bed with him, following him towards the kitchen.

"You need a bath, you're gonna start to smell, little monster." He smiled round at him, before he started searching the kitchen cupboards for some food. He found everything he needed to make some burritos, whipping them up as quickly as he could. He let Evan eat his while he rushed around the house to get himself ready, starting to panic a little as the hours ticked by. "Alright, you all done?" He cleared away his son's dinner plate, ushering him down the hall. "Bath is ready to go. Wait for me."

"Daddy, where's Iron Man?"

"In your room already. We don't have time for toys tonight." Nick ditched the plates on the side, taking another quick bite of his own. He hurried after his son down the hall, giving him a quick bath, before he lifted him out and got him dressed in his pyjamas, just as the doorbell started to chime.

Pushing himself to his feet, Nick lifted his son up with him, holding him securely against his hip as he hurried for the door. He pulled it open, giving Catherine's mother, Lily Flynn a wide smile. "Hi, Ms Flynn." He ushered her inside, relieved she was actually available to babysit, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to return to work.

"Hello." The woman beamed a wide smile at the child in his arms. "God, I hope you remember me, because you look so much older since the last time I saw you. Look at you, you're so handsome already, just like your Daddy." She winked at the man. "So have we had dinner?"

"We have." Nick closed the door behind her, letting her hang her jacket up by the door. "He's bathed and dressed for bed already. I've changed the sheets on his bed too. He hasn't brushed his teeth yet. In bed by seven. Seven thirty at the latest." He playfully tapped his son's back, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You know where everythin' is. My number and the lab number is on the fridge."

"Alright, I think we can handle that. Compared to Lindsey, you were always a piece of cake." The woman grinned at the child.

"Help yourself to anythin' in the kitchen. We don't have much, but I'm sure there's some coffee and cookies about." Nick reluctantly set his son down, searching for his wallet, keys and phone, so he could leave.

When he used to start getting himself ready to leave for work, his son would always cling to him, refusing to let him go, making the task impossible. A few times the babysitter would have to help peel him off him or hold him back, while Nick made his escape out the door. He used to hang around just for an extra minute or so, just to make sure that Evan stopped crying, so he could focus on work rather than worrying about his son thinking he had abandoned him.

Looking at him now, Evan didn't seem all that bothered that he was going anywhere. He sat himself down at the coffee table, showing Lily Flynn his latest masterpiece he had been working on before dinner. Nick was almost a little upset that he had suddenly forgotten about him, but at least he could keep his mind focused on work.

"Alright, I'm ready to go." He slotted his phone into the pouch on his belt, waiting expectantly for a last minute hug.

"C'mon then sweetheart," Lily tapped the child on the shoulder. "Say goodnight to Daddy. We'll see him again in the morning."

Evan scrambled to his feet, running into his father's arms. He closed his eyes as the man lifted him against his shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent. "Good night, Daddy."

"Night, baby. One four three." Nick pressed a kiss to his cheek, reluctantly lowering him to the floor. "I'll come kiss you when I get home." He promised him, gently combing his fingers back through his son's hair. He missed the miniature version of Greg already, but he hadn't even left him yet. He was eager to get stuck in at work again, but he still felt exhausted and terrified that he wouldn't be able to do the job.

"One four three, Daddy." Evan followed him to the door, staying a safe distance away from him, rather than clinging to his legs. He waved to his father from the doorway, remaining put inside as Nick started backing his truck down the driveway. He expected him to suddenly run towards him, but he wasn't even crying this time.

His baby boy really was growing up.

Nick wished he could say the same, but he teared up a little on the drive to the lab. He pulled into his usual spot, breathing in a deep breath, grabbing his empty kit from the back. He took the elevator up to the lab floor, giving Judy a smile as he signed himself in for the first time in seven weeks. He made his way to the locker room to ditch his jacket, before he made the journey across the lab to restock his kit.

"Nick. I thought that was you. Hi." Lab technician, Wendy caught him inside, gently putting her arm around his shoulders. "I heard you were joining us today. It's good to have you back. How was your thanksgiving?"

"Eventful." He shrugged his shoulders together, closing up his fully stocked kit. "Did you do anythin'?"

"Nothing special." Wendy gave him a slight smile. "I'll see you later okay, I'm swamped at the moment." She motioned towards her lab. "Good luck." She waved him off.

"Bye." Nick waved to her, spotting Sara stood waiting for him. "Hey... I made it."

"I see." Sara smiled, motioning towards the break room behind her. "Grissom isn't in yet, so we've got time for a coffee. You want one?"

Nick really needed to stay awake, but he didn't need the caffeine buzz on top of the anxiety. "Nah, I'm good for now. Have you seen Greg yet?"

"Schedule says he's on late, so he won't be in until eleven." Sara held the door open for him, letting him through with his kit. "You've got plenty of time to speak to him. Maybe you can invite him out to breakfast after?"

"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders together, walking on ahead of her.

"Hi, Nick." Grissom handed the slip from his hands over to Sara, giving the younger man a curious look. "Are you feeling..."

"I'm okay." Nick cut him off, giving him a reassuring smile. "I'm ready to get stuck in."

They didn't look very convinced, but he was determined to prove them wrong. They made their out to their first crime scene together, arriving just in time to see the fire fighters putting out the last of the flames. They stood a safe distance away watching the smoke beginning to fade, revealing their crime scene underneath.

It was a trailer park. Not the nicest looking one either, especially with the exploded trailer sitting in the middle of it. The roof had blown clean off. The side had completely collapsed and the furniture and keepsakes from inside were scattered all over the place.

In the distance he could see Warrick and Catherine stood beside Captain Brass, interviewing eye witnesses on what happened. He could see from the expressions on their faces that they weren't getting anything good, leaving it up to them to find out what happened with the evidence.

"Hey, Nick. I thought that was you." Deputy Wilcox noticed him stood the other side of the tape. "Good to see you back on scene. How you doing?"

"Above ground." He gave the man a slight smile, hoping he wouldn't get too many of those questions today. He followed Grissom and Sara as they made a sudden move towards the crime scene, ducking under the tape behind them with his kit in hand.

He felt ready to go, but it still felt odd being back.

"Oh, hey Nick. How's it going?" Captain Brass greeted him first. He got a slight nod out of the man, before he sunk away into the background behind his colleagues. "Alright, we've got two victims." He ushered them over, waving away the smoke from his face. "Male and female. We think the female victim is Selena March. She owns the trailer here that seems to have... exploded." He motioned towards the blonde haired woman on the ground.

"What about the male?" Grissom asked, curiously looking over the scene.

"Uh... nothing yet. Doesn't have a wallet on him, much less a set of keys. No one around here can ID him and as far as they all know, Selena lives alone. No boyfriend or partner in the works. Fire crew gave us the all clear to start processing. Coroners on their way."

"My money's on a meth lab." Deputy Metcalfe wagered, looking over the totalled trailer in front of them. "Places like this don't go up for any other reason."

"You know, Metcalfe, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook." Sara objected to that statement, removing the sunglasses from her head now that the flames had cleared. "We'll take the trailer. Nick, you want inside or out?"

"Inside."

Nick followed her lead, even more eager to get started on their crime scene. He felt right at home looking around the crime scene, processing all the evidence he could find. For the first time in weeks, he wasn't thinking about the coffin, the ants or his parents. His mind was completely focused.

"Alright, I've had to send Catherine and Warrick off to another scene. Body dump near the strip." Grissom reported, joining them by the trailer. "What have we got here?"

"Well there doesn't seem to be any drug manufacturin' supplies," Nick stepped down from the trailer, brushing away the sweat from his brow. "There's plenty of ignition sources inside though. I've found a hot plate, fondue pot, gas stove, candles. One leaky pipes all it takes... which I haven't found yet."

"Even if you had, that would only explain the explosion in here, not the ruptured gas main outside."

"Think I can help you with that." Sara joined them, holding a burnt up object in her hands. "I found this gas metre over by the main. Trailer blows, this things becomes like a missile. This could explain the second explosion." She watched her supervisor answering his phone, leaving them stood alone for a moment. "Problem?" She asked, brushing her sunglasses back through her hair again.

"I've got another scene. Are you alright here?" The man looked at Nick in particular.

"Yeah, we'll be fine." Sara gave the man a smile. "We'll let you know if we find anything." She waved the man off, handing Nick the gas metre from her hands.

"Why do I get the feelin' that he doesn't trust me?" He asked her.

"He's just worried about you. We all are. It's not like you to cut yourself off from everyone."

"I haven't cut myself off." He set the gas metre down on the blue tarp where they had been gathering evidence from their explosion.

"Oh yeah, what about Wilcox earlier? You guys have been buddies since you joined the lab. He just asked you how you were back there and you totally blanked him. You ignored Brass and Deputy Dale said you've been ignoring his calls too. You know he's not to blame for your abduction. Just because he was there..."

"I never said he was." He argued back, returning to the trailer.

"Nick, I didn't mean it like that." Sara hooked her thumbs into her vest, watching him trying to busy himself with work. "I just meant that it's not like you to close yourself off from people like this. We're all just really concerned about you. As would you be if it were any of us in that position."

"I'm fine. I swear." Nick assured her, sick of the third degree. "I just hate bein' reminded of it all the time. All I've done is talk about it for the past six or seven weeks. It feels like it's takin' over my life at the moment, so I'd rather not talk about it."

"That's fine. That's all you have to tell me." Sara pulled her gloves off, giving him a slight smile. "Alright, I'm starving. There's a unit going out for sandwiches. Would you like me to get you something?"

"No, no," He shook his head. "You go ahead. I'm gonna..." He looked around the trailer, trying to stay focused. "I'm gonna work on this. You go ahead. I'm fine."

"Alright. I'll be back in a flash." Sara left him to it, making her way across the trailer park.

Bending down to the floor of the trailer, Nick poked through the debris, tossing aside the broken pieces of wall, finding a metal pipe underneath. He lifted his camera from around his neck to snap a picture of it, before he picked it up. It didn't look as though it had burst, but it could have been a piece that caused the explosion. He stepped down from the trailer with the pipe in his hand, looking over what they had on the tarp. He took it over to the table where Sara had started to gather possible explosives, trying to piece what they had collected together.

For the first time in weeks, his mind was completely focused and he couldn't be happier.

While he was busy piecing the puzzles of his crime scene together, Nick felt a tingle running up his arm. He ignored it until the feeling reached his elbow. Raising his arm from his side, he froze, watching a large cockroach crawling its way across his vulnerable flesh.

His breath caught in his throat as it continued its journey up his arm.

Before it disappeared under the sleeve of his short sleeved shirt, Nick quickly batted it away, shivering as he took a step away from it.

The cockroach scurried away as if nothing had happened, leaving Nick right where he started six weeks away. He could feel his flesh crawling as though thousands of ants were running all over him again. He felt the pain of their bites. He could taste the dirt in his throat.

A quick glance around assured him that he was out in the open and not underground, but it didn't stop the feeling of his flesh crawling.

Leaving the crime scene and the cockroach behind him, Nick found somewhere more open where he could breathe again. He desperately tried to control his breathing to stop himself from freaking out, wondering if he had come back too soon. He didn't want to admit defeat and go home, so he pushed on, cautious of any creepy crawlies that came his way.

He was back on track.

When he returned to the lab a few hours later though, it was a completely different story.

He could already feel the walls closing in on him in the parking garage. He carried the two boxes of evidence over to the elevator, breathing in a deep breath, before he stepped inside. He put his back to the wall as the doors closed, trying to control his breathing as the elevator started moving.

So far, so good.

The elevator jolted to a sudden stop before he reached his destination, suspending him between floors.

"No, no... c'mon." Nick set the boxes down on the floor, freeing up his hands to push some buttons. He pushed the button to the lab floor a few times, before he started jamming his fingers into the open doors button.

His breathing became laboured as none of the buttons seemed to do anything.

He was trapped.

"No, no..." He clutched the collar to his shirt, feeling the walls closing in on him. "Let me out!" He banged his fist against the door. "Please... let me out! Please! Help me."

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far! I hope you enjoyed this next chapter. Please let me know what you thought. I love to hear your feedback.**

 **Hope you are all doing well.** **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	16. Chapter 15 - Deceitful Heart

**Chapter Fifteen - Deceitful Heart**

 _"My name is Nick Stokes._ _I'm a CSI at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. If anybody finds this tape... turn it into the Las Vegas Police Department. There should be a reward. Mom... Cisco... well, this is a lousy way to say goodbye, but it's all I've got. I love you both. Cisco... I know we've had our differences in the past... but I want you to know that you raised me right... and I miss you. Dad... I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I couldn't be the son you always wanted. I tried my best... I tried so hard to be everythin' that you asked of me... I wish I could have been normal for you... As for the rest of you guys... I know you did the best you could to find me. Don't blame yourselves for this... it's not any of your faults. Grissom... I never meant to disappoint you..."_

"Hey, Arch. Archie," Warrick tapped the younger man's arm for the second time, finally startling him away from whatever he was listening to. He quickly paused the recording, knocking the headphones off his head, before he turned to look at the man behind him. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Archie quickly closed it up. "What can I help you with?"

"Sure you're not too busy with...?"

"It's nothing. Old case." The younger man made sure all evidence of it was gone from his computer screen, before he gave him another look. "What can I do for you?"

"I need you to bring up some calls for me." Warrick raised the file from his hand, just as he saw the receptionist, Judy scurrying through the hallway in her heels with short choppy steps. He gave the woman a curious look as she looked a little panicked, frantically searching the labs for anyone. "Hey." He raised an eyebrow at her as she burst into the AV lab. "Are you alright, Judy? What's going on?"

"Uh... have you seen Mr Grissom or maybe, Ms Willows anywhere?" She asked, anxiously looking between the two men.

"Gris is out in the field and I think Catherine is still in the station." He remembered seeing the woman down there earlier. "Why, what's the problem?"

"I've put a call into maintenance already, but they said it'll take them about four hours to get out to us."

"Maintenance?" Warrick gave her a curious look. "I don't think Grissom is gonna be too broken up over some light bulbs that have gone out."

"Oh no, it's the elevator." She pointed down the hallway towards it. "The dodgy one that's been starting and stopping all week. The power went out in the elevator. It's been stuck for the last twenty minutes or so. Almost half an hour actually." Judy checked her watch, anxiously looking over her shoulder at the front desk. "Mr Stokes is stuck inside and he's... freaking out a little."

"Nick's in there?" Warrick ditched the file from his hands, hurrying past her to get to the elevator doors. He pushed the button to call it to their floor, but the button didn't even light up. "No power at all. Where's it stuck?"

"Uh... just below our floor. I think. Maintenance said to wait for them."

"The powers out in there too?" He looked round at her, watching her giving him a slight nod. "How'd you know it's Nick in there?"

"He called me on his cell. The elevator phone is down."

"Did you call the fire department?" Warrick asked, trying to pry the doors apart. He turned to look round at her, ushering her away. "Well go and call them then. This is the last thing he needs. Tell them it's an emergency." He rushed for the stairs, taking them down to the next floor. "Nicky!" He banged his fist against the elevator doors, but he couldn't hear anything in response.

* * *

"Is this another version of CSI hazing? How come it's always me that has to do the gross stuff?" Greg pulled on a thick pair of gloves, making his way over to Sara stood by the trunk of their crime scene car. He looked at the soup of body parts that filled the back of it, giving her a look, before he reluctantly reached his hand inside. He fought the urge to gag, reaching past the body parts, trying to get to the bottom of it. "Ugh... this feels... so... gross."

"Drain plugs probably under the carpet." Sara took another step back, giving the younger man a sympathetic smile. She covered her hand over her mouth to avoid puking herself, watching him reaching a little deeper, trying to find it the drain inside the trunk full of decaying human soup. "Have you seen Nick yet?"

Greg avoided her question, smiling as he finally came across the plug. He pulled it out a little too roughly, flicking some of the goop at his face.

"Ugh... no."

Sara shrugged her shoulders together, giving him a slight smile. "You know, technically, that makes you a cannibal." She glanced around for something to wipe his face with, grabbing a wad of tissues. She handed it over, watching him sweeping the soupy mess off his face. "Grissom would be proud."

"Grissom would have tasted it on purpose." He cringed, wiping his face until the skin felt raw.

"Looks like it's working." Sara complimented him. "Why don't you go and get cleaned up? We have to wait for this to drain anyway. Go on, I'll be fine for a minute or so. I'll call you when I need you."

"Okay... thank you." Greg stepped aside from the car, removing the gloves from his hands. He continued wiping his cheek all the way down the hall, making it to the men's room to use some actual soap on his face. He scrubbed his hands next, double checking he had gotten rid of every trace of it in the mirror, before he turned towards the paper towels. He heard running out in the hall, quickly stepping outside to see what was going on.

He found Warrick trying to pry the elevator doors open, shouting for someone that wasn't there.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"The freaking thing stopped. It's stuck and there's no power." Warrick punched his fist into the door, before he tried pushing the button again. "Maintenance said they'll be here in four hours and the fire department don't classify it as a real emergency, so they're making us wait."

"It's a sliding door." Greg tried to stop him from hammering his fist into it again. "It slides. Pushing it like that isn't going to do anything."

"Are you gonna help me or just stand there?" Warrick's mood only worsened.

"I've got work to do." Greg pointed towards the other door. "Take the stairs, it might do you some good."

"Are you seriously gonna stand there and tell me that you don't care about Nick anymore?" He finally mentioned the name that sent tingles running down Greg's spine. "It's Nick, man. He's stuck in there. He's on his own in there, Greg. He's freaking out."

Glancing towards the lab where Sara was waiting for him, Greg sighed softly, before he took a step closer to give him a hand. He knew it was impossible to slide one of the doors open by hand, but he didn't want him to think that he didn't care about him anymore.

This was Nick the love of his life and he was trapped... again.

"This is stupid." Greg eventually pulled away from it, giving his hands a break. "You can't force one of them open. They're designed to stay closed." He looked around for something else to use, noticing the keys dangling from the older man's belt. He quickly grabbed his keys, unhooking his pocket knife from them. He handed the keys back to him, using the pocket knife to unscrew the bolts holding the panel closed beside it.

"What are you doing, Greg? That's a good way to get yourself electrocuted."

Greg rolled his eyes at the man, dropping the first bolt to the floor. He quickly moved onto the next, easily prying the panel open once they were out of the way. He scanned across the interior a moment, before he pulled the release switch to open the doors. He handed Warrick back his pocket knife as he climbed to his feet, easily pushing the doors open this time. He peered through the open doors at the elevator suspended a few feet beneath them, searching for the maintenance ladder that usually ran up the side.

"Greg, what are you doing?" Warrick grabbed hold of him, stopping him from going any further.

"You said he's on his own in there, so I'm going in there. If you want to stop me, you're going to have to physically restrain me."

"You're not even going to be able to get in there." He tried his best to restrain him, but Greg easily managed to pull himself away from him, determined to get to the man he loved. "What are you gonna do... besides decapitate yourself, I mean."

"There's a maintenance hatch on the top." Greg popped up the last few buttons to his overalls so it wouldn't snag, before he climbed out onto the maintenance ladder to the left of the doors. He climbed down as quickly and carefully as he could in case it started moving, stepping out on the elevator once he got close. He pulled the release for the maintenance hatch, pulling it open towards him. It was all dark inside, but he could see a light coming from Nick's phone in the corner.

Warrick leant out as far out as he could to see what was going on, spotting the fearless young man climbing right inside the pitch black elevator with no regard for his own safety.

"Warrick, why's that open?" Grissom came up behind him. "Judy just told me that Nick is stuck inside."

"Uh yeah, he is. Greg... he opened them. He climbed down."

Grissom raised an eyebrow at the man, more surprised that he would let Greg go instead of him. He was willing to put his life on the line for Nick just a few weeks ago.

Greg quickly lowered himself inside the elevator, feeling it jolt a little as he dropped to the floor. He stepped around the evidence boxes in the middle, pulling out his phone as a light source. He found the man he adored sat in the corner, his legs pulled close to his chest and his head resting against his knees. He appeared to be shivering, but it wasn't exactly cold inside.

"Hey, Tex, need some help?" Greg knelt down in front of him, trying not to startle him. He gave him a slight smile as he lifted his gaze, seeing his beautiful chocolate brown eyes, adorably glazed with tears. "Why do you keep getting yourself stuck in these places?" He cracked a smile, before he leant forwards to put his arms around the shaking form. "It's okay. I'm here."

Nick barely even seemed to notice he was there at first. He shivered and breathed deeply in his arms, twitching ever so slightly as though there was an electrical surge running through his body. He heard him whisper incoherent ramblings under his breath for a few minutes, before he finally started to hug him back.

"Hey... it's just me." Greg smiled at the man, looking into his beautiful glazed eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I can't... I can't... the light... the air... I can't..." He whispered against his shoulder, clutching at the collar of his shirt.

"The light is coming from my phone." He lifted it slightly, watching Nick flinching back. "It's just my phone. There's air all around us." Greg sensed he was reliving the trauma of being trapped in the coffin, so he just tried to be there for him, rather than snapping him out of it.

"I have to... the light... it's connected to the fan."

"There's no fan." Greg turned his phone over, hiding the light coming from it. "Breathe in a deep breath, Nicky. There's air all around us." He watched him taking in a few deep breaths, giving him a slight smile. "That's it... deep breath in." He breathed with him, feeling his chest rising against his own.

"You're really here?" Nick clutched the solid object in his hands as though it was a life source.

"I'm really here." Greg placed his hand on the back of Nick's head, holding him close. He eventually sat himself down beside him, readjusting the man in his arms to rest his head against his shoulder. He felt his breathing returning to normal and his arms becoming a little more still, falling in love with the man all over again. "You know, it smells a little ripe in here... did you?"

"That wasn't me." The older man protested, playfully jabbing the younger man in the side. "He who smelt it dealt it."

"Oh yeah, he who denied it supplied it." Greg playfully retorted.

Nick breathed in a deep breath, straightening himself up against the wall slightly. He missed hearing Greg's voice so much. He could feel his heart rate calming instantly, just from the sound of the younger man's voice. "It's dark." He noticed, looking around at their surroundings.

"Yeah, the power went out." Greg reached out for his phone again, bringing back the light now that he had calmed down. "Maintenance are on their way. I said I'd wait with you."

"How'd you get in here?"

"Maintenance hatch." He pointed towards it above them. "You're lucky. In San Francisco I had to process an entire elevator shaft for a crime scene. Let's just say I learnt quite a lot about the mechanics of an elevator while I was there. I probably wouldn't be down here with you if I didn't." Greg gently swept his fingers back through Nick's hair, pressing his lips to his forehead. "You're not alone, Nicky. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Nick held him tightly in his arms, breathing in his familiar comforting scent. "I wonna get out."

"I know, but we have to sit tight." Greg held him put for now, brushing his hand across the goose bumps on Nick's arms. He listened to his breathing beginning to calm, feeling his heart swelling with his love for him. "It shouldn't be long."

"It feels like hours already." He unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, clawing at his chest with his fingers.

"Nicky stop, you'll hurt yourself." Greg held his hands to stop him.

"I can't breathe."

"You can breathe, you're just panicking so it feels like you can't." Greg seized hold of both his hands, holding them down at his sides. "You just need to breathe. Deep breath in." He made the action himself, watching Nick copying him. "And out. Deep breath in... and out. It's a panic attack, Nicky. There's plenty of air in here. You just have to relax, okay. I'm gonna stay right here with you until we get out."

Nick managed a slight nod, continuing with his deep breaths. He started to feel a little dizzy, but his chest no longer felt as though it was being crushed. He sat holding Greg's hands for the next ten minutes or so, before Grissom called to check in. He let Greg talk to the man, focusing on his breathing rather than everyone knowing that he got himself stuck in an elevator, weeks after he was rescued from an underground torture chamber.

"He said about twenty minutes." Greg reported, hanging up the phone. He sat himself back against the wall beside Nick, figuring they had some time to talk while they were waiting. He wasn't planning on doing it until after their shift, but he really needed to talk to him. "Do you trust me, Nicky?"

"You know I do." Nick sat himself upright, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"No Nick, I really don't know that." He shook his head, falling in love with his adorableness. He tried to keep his mind focused on what he needed to talk to him about, rather than how cute he looked, especially in his vulnerable state. "I want to trust you. I really do, but it turns out that you've been lying to me all along."

Nick felt his heart beginning to race again, looking at the man in front of him. He wondered how much he had figured out on his own, wishing he had got up the courage to tell him sooner.

"You've been ignorin' my calls. How am I supposed to tell you anythin'?"

"Don't turn this around on me. We spent a whole night together. We've talked practically every week since I left for the past six years, but you didn't even think to tell me about your kid." He blurted it out to him, noticing Nick's face turning a little paler under the glow of his phones light. "Yeah, I know. Call me crazy, but I think that's kind of a big thing that you would want to tell someone that you're with, especially considering the fact that your kid was conceived while we were still together. You cheated on me."

"No. No I didn't." Nick quickly shook his head, realising how bad it looked.

"Yes you did, how can you even deny it? It turns out that everyone _but_ me knows about this kid of yours too, so don't even try to deny it."

"Please don't yell at me." Nick rolled his head back against the wall. "I've had a whole weekend of people yellin' at me. I don't need it from you too." He looked at Greg beside him, hating his father even more for causing this rift between himself and the man he adored.

"I'm not yelling." Greg spoke a little more softly. "I just want to know the truth. I think I deserve that much."

"I-I... can't." Nick shook his head, clawing at his chest as his breathing became a little more restricted.

"Nick." Seizing hold of the man's hands again, Greg lowered his head, looking into the man's eyes. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose the mother of your child like that, but why would you lie to me about it?"

"I didn't cheat." Nick continued to shake his head. "I've never cheated on you... there was never anyone else. No mother. Just me. I carried him." He confessed, un-tucking his shirt from his jeans. He knew Greg would need some proof, so he showed him the c-section scar beneath the waistband of his jeans. "I had to have a c-section. I carried him. I didn't cheat on you. I've never cheated on you. He's yours. I carried your baby under my heart. He's your son, Greg. Yours and mine. I found out after you left..."

Greg shook his head, refusing to believe it. "No, that's impossible. I've been below your belt. You don't exactly have the right hardware under there to have a baby much less..."

"Trust me, it's there... it's just on the inside. That's why I had to have the c-section." Nick avoided looking into his eyes, fearing the look he would give him when he found out. "The doctor told me I had an undiagnosed disorder. Intersexed he called it. It means..."

"I work in DNA. I know what it means." Greg cut him off, pulling Nick's shirt back for himself to see the scar. He ran his fingers across it, feeling a shiver running down his spine. It was definitely real, but why hadn't he seen it before. "This isn't fair. How could you do something like this? Why would you do this? You tell me everything, why wouldn't you tell me this?" He blurted all his questions out at once.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not." Greg tried to contain his emotions, but it wasn't exactly easy in a situation like this. "You're not sorry at all. You hid a child from me for _six_ years. That's not exactly an accident. That's an intentional lie, Nick."

"I know... I'm sorry." His tears started streaming down his cheeks again. "I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you so many times. The plan was to have him adopted." Nick spoke softly, clasping his hands together in his lap. "I only had two months or so left of the pregnancy after you left. I told my Mama when I found out, because I was terrified. She told my father and they started dictatin' what I should do with the baby once it was born. He was born too early for their adoption plan though. He had all sorts of problems. His eyelids were still fused shut. He couldn't breathe for himself. He had problems with his heart and stomach... I couldn't just walk away and pretend nothin' happened. He was my child. He's all I had left of you. I know how it sounds, but the Judge, my Dad... he said I could keep him so long as nobody knew where he came from."

"So you invented the story about some dead one night stand?"

"Not me." Nick shook his head, ashamed that he ever went along with it. "I wanted to tell you so many times. I know that's no excuse, but you had this amazin' new life. Your new job and everythin'. I didn't want to ruin it for you."

"How would you ruin it for me?"

"You left me because we wanted different things, G." Nick reminded him. "I've always wanted a family, kids... you told me right to my face that you didn't and you probably never would want any of that. I never thought for a second that I would be the one to bring my own kids into this world. My Dad threatened to take him away from me if I said anythin'. What was I supposed to do?"

"You were thirty when you had him, right? What's your father gonna do...?"

"You left me, Greg." Nick cut him off this time. "You made me come out, led me on, knocked me up then left me. I didn't have a choice."

"I didn't _make_ you do anything." The younger man protested. "You make it sound like I really did corrupt you or something. All I did was kiss you. You came out of your closet all on your own. Our first date, you asked me out, remember. You initiated the kiss at the end of it. I didn't make you _do_ anything and I certainly didn't lead you on, so don't make it sound like I made you do something that you didn't want to do."

Giving out a sigh, Nick forcefully banged his head back against the wall behind him, dropping his head into his hands. "My father was right, I ruin everythin' I touch."

"No you don't." Greg spoke softly, placing his hand on Nick's head. "Your father has probably never been right about anything in his life. Why would you listen to him about something like this? What's the worst that he could have done, seriously? You're not a kid anymore, Nick. He can't _do_ anything to you."

"Yeah... I know that now. Only took me what... thirty six years, but I know." Nick jolted back hearing a grinding noise, grabbing Greg's wrist as a support.

"It's alright. It's just the doors opening." Greg assured him, grabbing his phone as the lights above them started to flicker on. He held onto Nick as the elevator started moving, jolting to a stop, before the doors creaked open. He smiled at Sara and Grissom stood outside with the maintenance tech, relieved to see their faces again.

"Need some help?" Grissom looked between the two of them, relieved to see that they were still breathing.

"Yes, please. C'mon, Nicky." Greg pushed himself to his feet, helping the older man up with him. "We're free. C'mon, it's okay." He cautiously made his way towards the exit with him, watching Nick breathing in a deep breath as he stepped out into the hallway. He saw a look of relief washing over his face, only making him love him even more, despite all of his lies. "It's okay, we're safe. See. Solid ground." He tapped his foot against the ground, letting go of Nick now that they were safe.

"The evidence, Greg." Grissom motioned towards it still in the elevator.

"I'll get it." Warrick stepped past them, grabbing the boxes of evidence that were still sealed up in the middle.

"Are you okay, Nick?" Sara gently put her arm around him. "Shall we go outside for some air?" She led him towards the stairs, holding his hand all the way down.

"Ya'ight, Greg?" Warrick clapped his hand around the younger man's shoulders, giving him a smile for his bravery. "You're crazy, you know that. I'm glad it was you that went down there and not me. My wife would kill me for taking a risk like that."

"Wife?" Judy raised an eyebrow at him, noticing the ring on his finger. She hadn't seen it before. She was usually always up to speed on the latest gossip, but it turned out she missed that one. "Good job, Greg." She gave him a wide grin, returning to her desk now that everyone was safe.

Warrick watched the gossip queen stopping to talk to another lab technician first, figuring everyone would know about his marriage by the end of the day. "Damn." He muttered, looking back at Greg.

"I told you to tell them." Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "It's kinda obvious always wearing the wedding ring now."

"You're married?" Grissom gave him a curious look, spotting the ring on his finger that had never been there before. "How long?"

"Shouldn't your first question be who's the bride?" Warrick smirked.

"Greg, there's still a car that needs to be processed." Grissom wasn't much for congratulating someone, so he tried to get everyone back to work, before Ecklie came up and started asking what was going on. "Well done, Greg." He briefly tapped him on the shoulder to applaud his good work, ushering Warrick to one side to find out about his relationship situation. "Tina, I assume?"

"Yeah." Warrick awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other. "About six weeks now. Since we rescued Nick from the coffin... it got me thinking. Life is too short. A lot shorter than we want to believe. Seeing what he went through, how quickly one life can just... I know I haven't been with Tina for that long, but it just... felt like the right thing to do. We just had a quick Elvis ceremony. I moved into her place. It's not easy with our hours... but we're making it work."

"And you didn't want to tell anyone?" Grissom pried a little further, stepping outside his comfort zone. He never wanted to be in charge because he didn't like to get himself involved in the lives of others, but it was hard not to when they all seemed to need direction in both work and their lives.

"With Nick being... I didn't want to rub it in his face, I guess. The man's just getting back on his feet. I thought he would get it more than anyone else, but he seems to have just closed himself off from... everything since," Warrick stuffed his hands into his pockets, taking a step away from the man. "I guess I'll have to introduce her to the team eventually."

Grissom gave him a slight nod, noticing Greg pulling on a jacket. "Greg, where do you think you're going? I need that car processed." He pointed back to the lab. "There's bodies in there that should take priority over your lunch break."

"I'm not going to lunch. I'm going..." He looked between the two of them, wondering if they knew more than him about his own child. "I just need to talk to Nick. I'll be right back, I swear."

"Greg. Greg!" Grissom called after him, but he was already halfway down the stairs. He sighed softly, looking at the time on his watch. "I better put a call in for some backup. Have you seen Catherine?"

"Yeah, she was kinda upset after I told her about the wedding ring." Warrick confessed, kicking himself for forgetting to take it off before his shift. He knew the secret wouldn't stay hidden for long in a place like this, but he didn't want Tina to freak out again for not wearing the wedding ring at home. "I think Catherine is still down in autopsy. I'll find her if you want."

"No, I need you to stay on your case. Ecklie will have my head if none of my CSIs are working. I'll go find her. I'll bring Sara and Greg back too. We're too busy to have four CSIs going missing." The man forced open the door to the stairs, sighing as he took them down to autopsy. He was starting to think that it was a mistake letting Nick return to the lab so soon, especially after all the disruption it had caused to their shift.

* * *

Racing down the stairs, Greg forced open the door at the bottom, spotting Sara and Nick stood on the side of the road, breathing in the fresh city air. He zipped his jacket all the way, making his way over to the man to demand some answers. "Hi... hey, Sara. Can you give us a minute?"

"Sure, I better get back to work." Sara gently tapped Nick on the shoulder, giving him a smile. "You know where I am if you need me. I'll see you later, okay." She smiled at them both, before she made her way back inside.

"Nick..."

"Greg, I'm sorry." He cut him off, leaning back against the railing surrounding the front of the building. "Keepin' somethin' like this from you, I know it was wrong. I always blame my Dad, but you're right, I'm old enough to know that it was wrong to keep it..."

"Is the kid really mine?" Greg gave him a curious look, trying to read those beautiful chocolate brown eyes of his. "I mean really, no jokes."

"I wouldn't joke about somethin' like this, G." He assured him. "I've been tryin' to tell you since you got back. I didn't want you to hear it from somebody else. I didn't want you to hate me or think that I was a... a freak." He used his father's own words, watching the younger man trying to process the information. "I know it's a lot to process. Believe me, I know that. I barely had two months to process the fact that I could be pregnant, that I had this disorder or the fact that he was real, before he was here and needed lookin' after. I didn't want to give you an excuse to come back and ruin what you had."

"I have a son." Greg spoke softly, leaning himself against the railing beside him. "I have a son and you didn't tell me. I didn't even know he existed. I've missed out on his life, because you chose to keep this from me."

Nick pursed his lips together, feeling even worse about it now.

"I don't know if I can ever trust you again, Nick. If you can lie about something like this, who knows what else you've been lying about."

"Greg, please." He grabbed his arm, stopping him from walking away. "I know that I can never make this up to you. I've been told what to do, how to act, what to hide my entire life. I was strong with you. I was me. The real me. When you left... I didn't know what to do, how to be... me. You unlocked me, set me free then you disappeared. I had this life growin' inside me and the only people I had to depend on were the very people who made me hide who I was. I don't know how to be me without you."

Greg pulled away from him, desperately craving a cigarette right about now. He ran his fingers back through his hair, turning to look round at Nick. "If you really loved me, you wouldn't be able to do something like this to me, Nick. You chose your own father over me. You chose him over your own son."

"I didn't..."

"Yes you did!" Greg shouted back at him, feeling tears burning in his eyes. "You chose his lies over two people that love you unconditionally. You chose to lie to me, because a man who made you work for his affection everyday told you to. You lied to me." He clenched his teeth into his bottom lip as it started to quiver, trying to hold back his tears. "You chose a man who would rather see you dead then gay over me. Do you realise how that makes me feel?"

"Greg, I'm sorry." He tried to reach out for him again, but he pulled even further away from him this time.

"Does everyone know?"

"No." Nick shook his head.

"Does he even know? Did you tell him about me?"

"Yes." The Texan tried to hold back his tears, but he couldn't stop them from streaming down his cheeks.

"Liar." Greg shook his head, rubbing his neck as the goose bumps on his neck turned to daggers, chilling him to the bone.

"He does know about you. I... I just told him."

Greg let out a laugh, taking another step away from the man. "Because I just came back? If I hadn't of come back, would you have told him about me. Would you have told me? Or would you have just continued with your lie. Did he believe he had a mother who died?"

"Greg, please... you've gotta listen to me. I never meant to..."

"What?" Greg cut him off. "Hurt me, lie to me. Or you never meant for me to find out?"

"I want you to meet him. I want you to be a part of his life. I know I can never make up for what you've missed out on... either of you, but I want to try. Please... I want to make this right. You have to let me try."

Wiping away his tears on his sleeve, Greg turned to face the man, feeling betrayed by his heart as he still adored him. The liar was still so beautiful, but he was starting to hate him so much more. "Just leave me alone, Nick." He stepped away from him. "I need to think." He reached his hand into the pocket of his jacket, feeling the box of cigarettes. He was dying for one right about now, but he really needed to get back to work. He really needed to call his mother. He really needed a famous hug from his Nana Olaf too, but he couldn't go back already.

"Greg... I..."

"Just leave me alone, okay. I need... I need space." Greg couldn't look him in the eye anymore. He turned away from him, feeling tears burning in his eyes as he made his way back to the lab.

Nick reluctantly let him go, knowing he only had himself to blame. He didn't exactly picture Greg taking the news this way, but at least now he knew. He only wished he knew what was going on in his mind.

Would he ever speak to him again?

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! Enjoy your weekend.**

 **~ Holly**


	17. Chapter 16 - Acceptance

**Chapter Sixteen - Acceptance**

 _Watching the younger man practically skipping around the lab with an adorable grin plastered across his lips, Nick couldn't help but feel those feelings he had buried deep down long ago. His blood ran cold, shivering as he remembered the first time he got excited seeing another boy without a stitch of clothing on._

 _From that moment, he knew that there was something different about him, something that made him stand out from his brother and sisters, even from his friends. He tried to hide it, but his father was no fool. He promptly shipped him off to a 'pray the gay away' camp, where he met his first crush, Aiden._

 _Jet black hair, bright baby blue eyes and a smile that made his heart soar. They were roommates, forced to carry out the most absurd tasks that were supposed to cure them, but it only seemed to draw them closer together. There were days when he wondered if he could sneak just one touch. Just one little brush of his hand against the other boy's, but they constantly watched them like hawks and reported everything back to their parents._

 _He hid his feelings, did everything they asked of him then they spat him back out into the not so loving arms of his parents, insisting that he was now cured. He didn't feel cured. He still fantasised about guys rather than girls. He still dreamt of the beautiful, Aiden. He believed his father's words though. He would go to hell if he acted on those feelings and would burn forever in damnation for his sins._

 _He hated his mind and body for feeling this way, wondering why he had been born so wrong._

 _As he got older he began to realise that his father really didn't know what he was talking about. Praying and tricking his body into liking women just didn't do it for him and his feelings for men only continued to grow. He had managed to ignore his feelings for them by keeping his distance from them, but Greg was different. He couldn't keep his eyes off him and the younger man certainly seemed to notice too. The twenty three year old was beautiful, smart, adorable, funny and he had the most amazing smile that wouldn't quit._

 _How such a beauty could exist in a world full of cruelty was beyond him._

 _"Nick, stop day dreaming." Grissom tapped him on the shoulder, reminding him that he still had work to do. "We're heading back to the Hendler house, bring your kit with you. I'll meet you by the car."_

 _"Alright." Nick pushed himself to his feet, taking one last look at the object of his affection, before he made his way to the locker room. He grabbed his kit, taking it to the closet to quickly restock it, before he made his way down to the parking lot. He climbed into the passenger seat of his supervisor's car, noticing a movie stub ticket on the dashboard. "Meet the Parents." He read the ticket. "You went to see that?"_

 _"Uh... yeah. Alone." The older man insisted on that fact, even though he didn't even ask. "Have you seen it?"_

 _"Yeah, I always go to see Ben Stiller movies. Robert De Niro too. When I was a kid, my father wouldn't let me watch any kinda violent movies, unless Robert De Niro was in them. I just didn't figure you for a comedy man." Nick confessed, pulling his seatbelt on so they could go._

 _"I like comedy, Nick." Grissom hid the ticket away in his pocket. "I wouldn't say that Meet the Parents is classed as a comedy though. It's more a tale of one man's humiliation, trying to impress the over protective father of the woman he wants to marry."_

 _"Seriously?" Nick raised an eyebrow in the man's direction, realising he was just like his father. The old man could never just sit and enjoy a movie. He would always analyse it and question the characters motives, usually while the film was still running, so they would miss half of it while he continued his rant. "Why are we headin' back to the Mendler house?" He got back on topic._

 _"We've got our warrant."_

 _"I thought the Judge refused to issue one, based on the evidence that we had?" Nick gave him a confused look._

 _"He did. We had nothing to tie the Hendler's to the body dump site. But Greg did some digging for me. Turns out Jason Hendler used to work for Summercliff housing development, five years ago. As a subcontractor. Right where our body was found, within the timeframe the coroner gave us for the body dump. Officers are meeting us there."_

 _Grissom pulled the car in the direction of the Hendler household, pulling up to the curb. He grabbed the warrant and his kit, following Nick's lead up the driveway._

 _"Mr Grissom, they're both waiting inside." Deputy Samuels stepped aside, opening the door to the house for him. "Hi, Nick." He gave him a smile._

 _Nick gave him a slight smile in return, ignoring the pounding of his heart as he got closer to the man. He didn't quite match up to Greg, but he still made his heart race with just one smile._

 _"You again." Jason Hendler huffed, blocking their entrance to the house with his arm. His wife stood behind him, staring down at her hands clasped together in front of her, rather than paying any attention to them. "What do you want now?"_

 _"As promised." Grissom unfolded the piece of paper. "We're back with our warrant. Excuse me, please." He stepped past the man while he looked it over, making his way through to the front room, where the fish tank was set up. He pulled his flashlight out of his vest pocket, giving out a soft sigh as he looked down at the ground. "I see you've cleaned house. I thought you might."_

 _"Yeah, what of it? I vacuumed up the sand. Big deal. This is my house." He tried to block Nick's entrance into the room, but the deputy made sure he could get through. "Will you at least tell me what you're doing here?"_

 _"I'm looking for evidence." Grissom clicked his flashlight off, pointing towards the lights above him. "Officer, would you hit the lights, please?"_

 _"Sure." Deputy Samuels stepped around Nick, flipping all the switches on the panel, putting them in complete darkness. He watched the lead CSI spraying the floor with something, quickly grabbing Mr Hendler as he tried to go for him again._

 _"Get off me." Jason shrugged him off. "What are you doing? You're getting my floor wet."_

 _"It's luminol, sir. It dries quickly." Nick assured him, grabbing the bottle from Grissom to spray the other side. He shook his head to the man, realising he got the same result._

 _"Surface is non reactive." Grissom knelt down to the floor, trying to think a moment._

 _"I know what you're doing." Jason pulled away from the Deputy again. "You're looking for blood."_

 _"My husband didn't do anything." Mrs Amy Hendler finally spoke, keeping behind the Officer, rather than bursting in like her husband did. "Why are you harassing him?"_

 _Ignoring their protests, Grissom glanced in his CSI's direction, thinking of a plan. "Let's try the ALS."_

 _"Why use the Alternate Light Source if the luminol didn't show anythin'?" Nick pinched his brows together, giving the man a confused look._

 _"Luminol works on the surface. ALS chases the protein molecules in blood." Grissom grabbed his kit, getting what he needed. "It actually penetrates the wood. These floorboards are all made of maple. High end, but they've been lacquered."_

 _Nick glanced towards their suspect, looking back at his supervisor. "Who lacquers maple unless they're tryin' to hide somethin'?"_

 _"Exactly, Nicky my boy." The man smiled proudly, handing the ALS over to the man. He took a step back while he swept the floor with it, noticing the glowing spots of blood drops and handprints lighting up almost immediately. "Alright, that's all we need. Turn it off, Nick. Officer, hit the lights, please."_

 _Deputy Samuels stepped around the suspect, flicking the lights back on._

 _"Mr Hendler," Grissom turned to face the man, scratching the five o' clock shadow on his chin as he looked into his eyes. "Let me tell you what I think happened to Fay Green. On the night of her disappearance, the two of you got into a heated argument. You grabbed her to make her stay. She pulled away from you, hitting her head on the fish tank..." He pointed towards it. "The water would have gone everywhere, soaking into your floor. Suffering a concussion, Fay falls to the floor. In the heat of the moment, you decide to make it final, but Fay surprised you. She fought back. She pushed you off, tried to crawl away... then you move in for the final attack."_

 _He pointed out the marks on the floor that told the story, turning back to his suspect._

 _"One thing that I don't know though... what did you use for the final blow?" He looked around for anything powerful enough to do the job, but he doubted that it was still in the house. "What did you use to kill her, Mr Hendler?"_

 _"I didn't kill her." The man protested, pulling away from the Deputy as he tried to grab him._

 _"Well, whatever the weapon was, it wasn't a knife, but it worked." Grissom shrugged his shoulders together. "You drove her body over to Summercliff where you were employed and you buried her in wet concrete, thinking that would be it. Gone."_

 _"No, I didn't." Jason shouted this time. "I worked the Summercliff job less than a week. Ask Amy. Ask her." He motioned round to his wife, still hiding away in the background. "She worked for the same contractor."_

 _Grissom gave the woman a suspicious look, watching her perking up as her husband continued to glare at her._

 _"That's right." She answered a little too quickly. "He got a better job in Reno. Jason wasn't even in Las Vegas when Fay disappeared. You can't pin this on him."_

 _Nick shook his head at the woman. "And you painted the floors, covered your tracks for what, aesthetic reasons?"_

 _"Five years is a long time, but eventually the past catches up to everybody." Grissom assured them. "Officer, arrest this man, please."_

 _Mrs Hendler helplessly sighed, watching the Officer cuffing her husband._

 _"No." Jason struggled in the man's arms. "I didn't kill, Fay! I didn't kill her." He insisted. "I loved her. I loved her. I would never hurt her. I still love her!" He stopped struggling a moment, realising what he just said. The CSIs had stopped what they were doing and his wife had turned pale. She shook her head in denial, looking at him wide eyed as he turned to face her. "Amy... I didn't... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

 _"You still love her?" She clutched her chest as though her heart had just broken in two. She waited for him to deny it, but he didn't say a word. "How could you? How could you, Jason?"_

 _"Amy, call my father." Jason called out to her, fighting the officer trying to drag him out of the house. "He'll get me a lawyer. I didn't do this. You know me, Amy. You know that I didn't do this. Amy, you have to believe me!" He shouted from the driveway, calling out to her as they loaded him into the back of the police car sat at the end of his driveway._

 _"Nick." Grissom turned towards him. "I'll ride along with them to the station. Bring homicide up to speed. This is now a fresh crime scene."_

 _"Alright." Nick gave him a nod. "I'll get to work."_

 _He watched his supervisor walking away, turning to look at Mrs Hendler once he was gone. She had sat herself down on the stairs, shocked by what she had just heard. He wanted to say something to her, but he knew that wasn't part of his job. He grabbed his kit, starting by taking some photos of the scene. He stepped up to the wall opposite the fish tank, looking at the photos that hung there. The photos were in black and white, featuring people in mountain climbing gear. He moved from one to the next, releasing Amy, Jason, Fay and another man were in all of them._

 _"Mrs Hendler," He called out to her, his eyes still glued to the photos. "Do you and your husband do much rock climbin'?" Nick moved onto the next photo, looking at the axe in Amy's hand. He turned to look where the real Mrs Hendler had gone, finding himself staring down the barrel of a gun in the woman's hand._

 _"Yes." She cocked it back, pointing it directly at his head. "That's what I killed her with."_

 _Nick gulped hard, noticing the police car driving away out the corner of his eye. He breathed in a deep breath, looking back at the real murder suspect stood in front of him. "Mrs Hendler... please, put the gun down." He cautiously backed away from her._

 _"Jason was in Reno." Amy took a step closer to him, pointing the gun a little higher. "She was going to take him away from me. I knew they were having an affair. I knew it from the first moment I saw them together. He always came back to me though. While he was in Reno, she got this idea into her head that he was going to leave me for her. She came here to tell me that I should pack my bags."_

 _"Mrs Hendler," Nick raised his hands a little higher, trying to keep his bottom lip from quivering. "Please... put the gun down."_

 _"Do you know that he was engaged to me when he met her?" Amy ignored his pleas, taking another step closer to him. "We had been together for three years already, then she came along and I'm suddenly supposed to move aside? He was mine. Mine. Not hers." She took another step closer, trapping him in the corner of their front room. "I told her that he was coming back for me. That we were going to get married. She laughed. She laughed and she walked away from me."_

 _The gun shook in her shaky hand, but she kept it trained on Nick's head._

 _"I just grabbed her arm. She hit her head on the tank. We had just been rock climbing... the axe was left out. I grabbed it and... and I hit her. I hit her and hit her, until she stopped telling her lies. There was blood... everywhere. No one else could see it... but I knew it was there." Amy looked back at her floor, still seeing the blood stained marks soaked into the wood. "A dead body is so heavy."_

 _Nick managed a slight nod, feeling his tears streaming down his cheeks. "Mrs Hendler... please... I'm a good listener." He swallowed hard. "You got to give me the gun."_

 _Amy shook her head, crying. "I can't." She continued shaking her head, raising the gun a little higher, her finger twitching over the trigger. "I'm sorry. I can't let you tell them."_

 _"No, wait." Nick pleaded with her. "Wait!"_

 _"Mrs Hendler." The familiar voice of Grissom calmly echoed through the room._

 _She turned to look at him stood in the doorway, his own gun focused on her. He didn't like carrying a gun much less holding one, but he had to do something. Nick was his responsibility. He had left him alone with a murderer. Anything that happened to him was on his head._

 _"Nick, don't move." He stopped his CSI from reaching for his own gun. "Mrs Hendler, please... I don't want to fire my gun anymore than you do. For five years, you've been washing the blood off your hands." He watched her trembling, letting her tears flow freely as she kept her gun pointed at Nick. "Let's put down the guns." He slightly lowered his own._

 _Amy watched him a moment, before she did the same. She let Grissom take it from her hand, letting out a long drawn out whimper as an officer rushed by him to restrain her._

 _Nick let out a deep breath he didn't realise he had been holding in, turning to lean against the wall behind him._

 _"Nick?" His supervisor took a few steps closer to him. "You okay, Nicky?"_

 _Nodding his head, Nick turned to assure the man that he was okay. "Yeah." His voice croaked._

 _"C'mon," Grissom reached out a hand to him. "Let's get out of here."_

 _Eager to get as far away from the house as possible, Nick took up his offer of a ride back to the lab. He watched the city going by out his window, realising how short and dull his life had been so far. He could have died back there and it would have amounted to nothing. He had nothing but his career to show that he actually existed._

 _Nick sat himself down on the bench in the locker room once they got back, letting Grissom handle the rest of the case, while he contemplated whether to go home or not._

 _Another tear spilled every time he thought about it. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking. He couldn't get the image of the gun barrel out of his mind, much less the look on Mrs Hendler's face every time she took a step closer to him._

 _"Nicky." A voice broke the silence of the locker room._

 _The man quickly wiped his hands across his cheeks, sniffling back his tears, before he turned to face the young lab technician stood behind him. His hair was adorably spiked up in a Mohawk running down the centre of his head. He was wearing his tight black jeans, a loud green shirt and his long white lab coat._

 _Greg Sanders, the object of his undying affection. If he had died today, Greg would have never of known how he felt about him._

 _"Sorry, I thought... do you want me to go?"_

 _"No." Nick shifted himself over on the bench, making room for him to sit down. He brushed his hands across his cheeks again, clearing up his vision to see that million dollar smile on Greg's lips._

 _Greg sat himself down, giving him a curious look. "Are you okay?"_

 _"I don't know." Nick shrugged his shoulders together, presenting him with a slight smile of his own. "Which one of the gossip queens told you?"_

 _"Told me what?" Greg gave him a grin, pulling out a packet of Kleenex from his pocket. He handed them over to Nick, watching him attempting to wipe away all the evidence of his tears. "I was about to head home. I saw you... I wanted to see how you were."_

 _"Are you actually nervous, G?" He wiped his hands down his jeans, giving him a slight nod. "I'm okay."_

 _"Nick." His name came out of his lips in a near whisper, sending a shiver down his spine. "You were almost shot. You could have..." Greg didn't even want to entertain the idea, much less say it out loud. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you." He leant forwards, suddenly putting his arms around him for the first time. He rested his chin on his shoulder, holding him securely in his surprisingly strong embrace. He always looked so slender, but he had the strong grip of a man built with more muscles than just skin and bones._

 _Nick embraced him back, closing his eyes against the younger man's shoulder. He let his tears flow free, feeling completely safe in the arms of his best friend. "I can't stop thinkin' about it."_

 _"It'll just take time." Greg gently brushed his fingers through Nick's hair, holding him closer. "I hear talking about it makes it easier to deal with."_

 _"Not that." He shook his head. "The other... the bad... I can't. I've tried so hard... I've to suppress it..." Nick trailed off, pulling back slightly to look into the younger man's eyes. "If I wasn't supposed to be this way, then why do I always feel like this? Why is it so hard to resist? Why do I always have to sacrifice my own happiness for somethin' that I've always felt?"_

 _"Nick." Greg's features twisted with confusion. He was starting to wonder if he had been hit on the head and suffered a concussion or something. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

 _"You." He responded as if it was obvious. He pulled back from the younger man, looking into his eyes. "I hate that I feel this way. I can't do anythin' about it. I can't even look at you without feelin'... why is somethin' that feels so right, so wrong?"_

 _"Me?"_

 _"Yes, you. You're... beautiful... you're completely intoxicatin'. I can't think straight when I'm near you. Sometimes I feel as though I can't breathe, because you cloud my every thought. All I could think about today was that... that I never got to be with you. I never got to know how it really feels. I could have died, never knowin' what I had been so afraid of for all these years. Was it really worth hidin' it for so long?"_

 _Greg's lips finally spread into a smile, realising that his colleague hadn't gone insane, he was just finally opening up to him. "Nick... I always thought you were... you know, into girls. Straight. You never even..."_

 _Nick shook his head, clasping his shaky hands together in his lap. "It's an act. It's all an act. I don't even know where the real me begins or ends anymore. I've pretended to be someone that I'm not for so long, it just feels like second nature now. I almost died." He closed his eyes, trying to block out the image of a bullet shattering its way through his skull. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"_

 _Without saying a word, Greg closed the gap between them, bringing him back into his embrace. He could feel Nick's heart pounding now, practically jumping its way out of his chest. He placed a hand on his cheek, brushing away the last of his tears as he looked deep into those beautiful chocolate brown orbs of his._

 _"Greg," He breathed his name in a barely audible whisper. "I'm not so sure that we should..."_

 _Greg quickly cut him off before he backed out of it, pressing their lips together for the first time. He didn't realise how much he wanted it too, until he felt the warmth of Nick's breath on his tongue. He felt Nick become paralysed in his arms, but that didn't stop him from tenderly kissing him with his lips, finally giving into his own fantasies of the gorgeous Texan God that he always believed was way out of his league._

 _He thought this moment was too good to be true, but then the man started to kiss him back._

 _Nick's hand was on his lower back, pulling him closer. His lips were gentle and warm, moving in perfect unison with his own. He felt his tongue bravely exploring the cavern of his mouth, giving out the softest moan as their tongues tangled together for the first time._

 _First kisses in the past had always been awkward and clumsy. But this kiss felt like the stuff of legends that his Nana Olaf was always going on about. He had to hold him a little tighter in his arms just to make sure that this moment was real, feeling as though he had finally found the one._

Nine years later, he was still the most beautiful man in the world, but he was really out of reach this time. He had broken his heart, crushed his spirit and betrayed him by listening to a man that would rather he were dead then gay. Greg couldn't quite believe that he was the same man. He had always been so kind, caring and considerate of others. He put everyone else before himself, putting Greg on a pedestal while they were dating, but now it was all gone.

"Hey, are you ready? Greg. Greg?" Sara gave him a curious look, watching him tearing his eyes away from the window. She gave him a smile, seeing the sadness in his eyes. "Are you okay?" She waited for an answer, but he could barely nod. "Uh, Grissom's waiting for a briefing on the case. Are you ready to go?"

Quickly gathering the things he had laid out in front of him, Greg pushed himself to his feet, following her down the hall to Grissom's office. Detective Sofia Curtis was inside and Sara knew everything about the case, so he didn't really have to say anything at all. He sat himself down in one of the chairs, occasionally nodding to agree with his colleagues, feeling as though his wounded heart was about to rupture.

"Do we know where he killed them?" Grissom looked between the three of them. "Greg?" He noticed that he was unusually quiet, especially for him.

Greg glanced round at Sara, shaking his head slightly. He wasn't really sure what they were talking about, so he had no idea what to say.

"Any idea where your suspect, Darryl Blakeney killed your victims?" Grissom repeated his question.

"Oh... no... no idea." He flipped through the file in front of him, trying to keep his mind focused. "We didn't find a primary, just the car where they were dumped. His prints are all over the car. The victims, Joey and Clara must have been customers of his, because we couldn't find any other way they were connected. We don't know why he killed them either. The car was found a block away from his last known residence. He must have killed them somewhere, thrown them in the trunk, ditched the car on the side of the road then walked back home. He then skipped town and used the same gun he used on these two in another drug related crime in Mesquite."

"Scumbag is still in the wind." Sofia rolled her eyes. "No one has any idea where he is. Not even his family and I believe them. They'd rather see him dead then back in their loving arms."

"At least he's in the system with a double homicide." Grissom tried to look on the bright side.

"Yeah, I'm sure the human soup in the trunk is thrilled about that." Sara tried to find comfort in that, but she had to think of the victims' families. "I don't think that will satisfy, Clara James' father though. He's still out there somewhere."

"For now, it's all we can do." Grissom climbed to his feet, checking the time on his watch. "You should head home. Your shifts have been over for hours."

"Good night." Sofia waved to them, making her way out of the office first. She stopped to catch up with Judy at the front desk, catching up on the latest gossip in the lab.

Greg guessed that Judy had told pretty everyone about Nick being stuck in the elevator and the fact that Warrick was married now. He watched them chatting away as he left the conference room, seeing the very man he had been trying to avoid for the last nine hours of their shift. He couldn't help but look into his eyes, searching for something familiar in them, but he felt like a stranger to him now.

Greg quickly stepped around the man, making a beeline for the locker room to leave, before he tried to say anything to him. He raced down the stairs once he had his things, making the journey home to his empty apartment.

He ditched his keys on the side once he arrived, grabbing a beer from the fridge. He popped the top off against the counter, kicking a box he had yet to unpack on his route to his bedroom. He still didn't have a bed frame, so he flopped onto the mattress on the floor.

Rather than waiting for his mother's daily phone call, Greg decided to call her, tapping his fingers against his beer bottle as the phone continued to ring. He sat himself upright, starting to get impatient as it continued to ring. It wasn't until he noticed the time on his alarm clock that he realised she would have still been asleep.

Greg quickly hung up, ditching the phone onto the bed beside him. He crawled over to the box full of his photos, pulling out one of himself and his father. He must have been eight or nine years old in the photo, holding up the biggest fish he had ever caught, while his father proudly had his arms wrapped around him. He brushed his thumb across the image, wondering if he would ever feel that pride that his father felt that day.

He turned back to the bed hearing his phone ringing, checking who it was, before he snapped it open.

"Hi Dad, I didn't mean to wake you guys. Go back to sleep. I didn't realise what time it was."

 _"It's alright. I was awake."_ His father's voice sounded a little hushed. He heard him walking down the stairs, putting himself a safe distance away from his sleeping family upstairs. _"What's up?"_

Greg shrugged his shoulders together, not quite sure how to put it. "Dad, how did you feel... when you knew you were going to have me?"

 _"Really? That's what you called to ask me at... four am?"_ He consulted the time on his watch.

"Yeah... kinda," Greg anxiously ran his fingers through his hair, realising it was a little too early to consult his parents for advice. "Don't worry. Go back to sleep. I'll call you later."

 _"No, no... I'm awake now."_ Daniel sat himself down at the kitchen counter, trying to think back. _"Honestly, I don't know. I had only just turned sixteen, so I was kinda feeling... like it was a dream or something. I didn't really believe it. We didn't exactly have the option to have an ultrasound at that point, so I just had to take their word for it. You haven't knocked someone up, have you?"_ He suddenly asked. _"I never thought I'd have to worry about surprise pregnancies from my gay son. That was actually one relief when we figured out that you weren't into women."_

Greg let out a soft smirk, leaning himself back against his bedroom wall. "Turns out you don't even need one of them for that anymore." He muttered, sitting himself down on the floor. He ran his fingers through his hair, giving out a soft sigh. "Is Mom still asleep?"

 _"Yeah, you know she doesn't have to leave for work until nine now. She doesn't start getting up until eight or eight thirty when the coffee machine goes off. What's up, Greg? You never call this early."_

Breathing in a deep breath, Greg pulled his knees close to his chest, looking at the photo he had left on his mattress. "Well, I finally got the chance to talk to Nick. Nana would say fate threw us a curve ball the way it happened. I asked him about... everything... and he actually told me the truth. He gave me more truth than I needed. A lot more truth than I could handle."

After a moment of silence, Daniel checked his phone to make sure he hadn't hung up, asking, _"Greg, you still there?"_

"Yeah... I'm here."

Daniel waited a moment, listening to his son's breathing, before he spoke again. _"You know I can't help you if you don't talk to me. I can't quite read minds like your Nana."_ He heard him laugh, but it didn't do anything to stop his worries. _"Do you need me to drive over?"_

"No... I can't go running to you and Mom every time I have a problem."

 _"That's what we're here for, Greg. It doesn't matter how old you get, you'll always be able to come to us for help."_

"Yeah." Greg spoke softly, breathing in a deep breath, before he told his father the truth. "Well, it's about Nick's son... the one I thought he cheated on me with," He finally managed to say it out loud, banging his head back against the wall behind him. "The twist of the story is that Nick was the one who carried him. He didn't cheat on me at all. There was no one else involved... no one but me." After a beat, he blurted, "The child he has is mine. He chose to tell a lie to protect himself. He robbed me of that feeling and of six years of his life."

Daniel climbed up from the counter, trying to process the information his son had just told him. _"You... you... you..."_

"I have a son." Greg finished his father's sentence for him. "I have a six year old son and I don't even know what he looks like." He could hear his father breathing, but he wasn't saying anything, making him worry. He feared that he was disappointed in him or something. He had never had to worry about his father being disappointed in him before, but this wasn't exactly a normal situation. "Dad, are you still there?"

 _"Yeah, yeah... I'm still here."_ He cleared his throat, deciding to sit himself back down to process it.

"I thought Mom would be more disappointed in me. She's always going on about having grandkids. You never exactly mentioned this as one of the dangers of unprotected sex when you gave me the sex talk." He crawled across his bedroom floor to grab his discarded beer bottle, taking another big gulp. "Dad?"

 _"I'm not disappointed."_ Daniel finally formed a complete sentence, anxiously running his fingers back through his hair. _"I'm not disappointed in you in anyway. You're my son and I love you more than anything in the world. Nothing could ever change that. I'm just... processing. How could he have even had your child? You're both men... as far as I knew anyway."_

"That's the kicker. Nick is technically both genders. He has an undiagnosed disorder." Greg sat himself back against the wall, taking another swig of his beer. "I've read about it in medical journals and one scientists notes on documenting the DNA of a intersexed individual, but I've never actually known anyone who has it. From what I've read, their gender is pretty much decided for them at birth by whatever doctor happened to deliver them. You'd never know that someone had it unless you look at what's under the hood. I guess Nick was more male than anything else... apart from the getting pregnant part obviously, but they didn't know he could do that until he went against his parents' wishes and started dating me."

 _"Intersexed?"_ His father tried to catch up. _"You're saying that he's both genders and he got pregnant by being with you?"_

"I know how it sounds, but that's the gist of it." Greg loosened the laces to his sneakers, tossing them across the room. "Oh..." He looked at his mattress in the middle of the room, remembering his recent encounter with the older man. He couldn't remember using any kind of protection. He didn't exactly have much of anything in the apartment at the time, much less a spare condom to prevent pregnancy. "This isn't fair. Things like this aren't supposed to happen." He banged his head back against the wall again.

 _"Hold on, Greg."_ He swept his fingers through his hair again, wishing he was back in California with them, rather than facing something like this on his own. _"The child is six?"_

"Yeah, as of August. Nick was already pretty far along when I left him. You saw him then, he wasn't exactly... showing."

Greg tried to think back, but there was nothing out of the ordinary that he could remember. Of course, his attention was focused more on the new job then his boyfriend at that time, making him feel responsible for all of this.

"Two months after I left, he gave birth to him. Or should I say he went into labour and they had to perform a c-section to get him out."

 _"Are you sure that he's yours?"_ Daniel queried, feeling bad about asking it, but for the sake of his son, he needed to know. _"In a situation like this, shouldn't you ask for a paternity test or something?"_

"Dad, he's not exactly hounding me for child support. Besides, I could see it in his eyes. He was always a terrible liar. The only way he could keep up the lie of a child was to keep away from me all these years. He never wanted to visit me, meet me halfway... he knew he wouldn't be able to keep it up if he saw me." Greg wiped the tears from his cheek, finishing off the last drop of his beer. "I don't even know his name." He realised, dropping the beer to the floor beside him. "What kind of father doesn't even know the name of his own son?"

 _"You didn't ask?"_ Daniel shook his head. _"You had a lot on your mind. Finding out someone is pregnant with your child is hard enough to process. But finding out you have a child out there that you've never met... I can't even begin to imagine... do you want us to come over?"_ He suggested, looking at the time on his watch. _"I can call in sick, be there in a few hours. I'm the boss, so I can take off all the time that I need."_

"No." Greg shook his head, pushing himself to his feet to grab another beer from the fridge. "Mom will try to take over the situation, just like she always does. She'll put a rift between us to get what she wants. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do yet. I feel guilty that my own son doesn't even know who I am. Or the fact that I don't even know his name. I've missed all his birthdays, Christmases... his first words, his first smile... who knows what else..."

 _"That's not exactly your fault though, Greg."_ He tried to assure him, realising he had missed out on a few firsts of his own. Having Greg felt like a once in a lifetime experience, but seeing his baby having a baby of his own felt like another one that he had missed. He was a Grandfather to a child that he never even knew existed.

"I left Nick with a baby. Doesn't that make me responsible?"

 _"No. You didn't know, Greg. It's not your fault. A-are you sure you don't want us there? We'll be there just for you and I'll make sure your mother doesn't take over."_

Cracking open his second beer against the counter, Greg shook his head, taking his first sip of it. "No. If you could just tell me what I'm supposed to do. You've been a father for what... thirty one years. Don't you have any advice for me?"

Breathing in a deep breath, Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think a moment. _"Well, if he's really your son, you have to decide if you want to be a father to him, I guess. Regardless of your feelings for Nick at this time, if he's your child, do you want him to be a part of your life?"_

"Yes... but how can I be? We're strangers to each other. I don't know anything about kids, least of all my own. What if he hates me?"

 _"Six years old is still young, Greg. You still have a lot of firsts ahead of you to look forward to. I barely remember anything you did before that age and you've skipped the messy diaper years. And there's no way he could ever hate you. Just be yourself and he'll love you the way everyone does."_ He tried to lighten the mood, spotting his wife making her way down the stairs. She clutched her robe tightly across her chest, brushing the sleep from her eyes as she made her way towards him. _"Hey, your Mom's awake, do you want to talk to her?"_

Greg set down the beer from his hand, dreading this next part, but he knew that she had to be told. "Yeah... okay, I'll talk to her."

 _"Alright, love you, kiddo."_

"I love you too, Dad." Greg gulped hard on the lump in his throat, listening to his father handing the phone over to his mother. He guessed she was groggy at this time of morning without any coffee, but she needed to be told. "Hi, Mom. I'm sorry I woke you."

 _"It's alright. Are you okay, sweetheart?"_ Jean searched her husband's expression for answers, but he just looked tired.

"Yes and no." Greg sighed softly, breathing in a deep breath. "Mom, I have something to tell you. You might want to sit down for this."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this next chapter. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Have a great week. I'll try and upload the next chapter this weekend.**

 **~ Holly**


	18. Chapter 17 - Father

**Chapter Seventeen - Father**

Waiting outside his son's school in his truck with the radio on, Nick rhythmically tapped his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the music, watching the other parents making their way inside the school gates. He was twenty minutes early for a change, but the front of the school was crowded already. He saw mothers carting in younger children in push chairs, fathers carrying bikes or snack bags and grandparents clutching little jackets, ready to wrap their grandchildren up in warm clothing, despite the sweltering heat they were having right now.

He glanced round as someone tapped against his truck, appearing at the window of his passenger side a moment later. He grabbed the volume of his radio to turn it down, before he pushed the button to open up the window.

A woman in the pale blue blazer presented him with a smile, combing her fingers through her birds nest of hair. "Hello, Mr Stokes. Lovely to see you again. Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just noticed that you've been picking Evan up all week, rather than your mother. Is that going to be a permanent thing now?" She asked, looking over the clipboard she had clutched tightly in her arms.

"Uh... yeah, actually my mother is back in Texas, so it's just the two of us again."

"Alright." She smiled, striking through a name on her list. "If you're picking Evan up, you have to come inside. Parents aren't allowed to wait outside the gates, just like children aren't allowed to leave the gates without an authorised guardian."

Nick wanted to argue that he still had a few minutes left, but he didn't want to start another argument his first week back on active duty. He reluctantly shut the radio off completely, grabbing his phone and keys. He put the window back up with one touch of a button, making sure it was locked up tight, before he followed her through the gates into the schools playground. He took his position away from the other parents, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he waited for the bell to finally ring.

Twelve minutes of waiting later, the bell chimed through the school and the voices of excited children started to echo through every corridor. The doors burst open a moment later and the little locusts screamed with joy, running towards the loving arms of their parents. He anxiously watched the kids beginning to thin out, feeling goose bumps trembling up his arms as he couldn't see Evan anywhere.

His mind immediately started to race with worries. The most worrying thought being, _what if someone had taken him? What if he had been abducted and he'd never see him again?_

"Rawr!"

The cheeky little monster pounced off the wall behind him, adorably giggling as his father caught him in his arms. He kicked and squirmed as the man started to tickle him, seizing hold of his father's hands to make him stop.

"No, Daddy. Stop."

"Why have you got blue fingers, baby?" Nick inspected his little hands, guessing that it was paint.

"I made a globe. It was this big." Evan stretched his arms out either side of him. "Mine was the goodest. I made... America and... and Europe. Antar... tartic. Did you know that the Earth is seventy... one percent water. That's a lot of percent water."

"That is a lot of water." Nick agreed with him, taking his backpack for him. He wished that Greg was here to listen to his excitement over learning something new, but he hadn't spoken to him in four days now. "Do I get to see it?" He asked, pushing himself to his feet.

"The water?" Evan gave him a confused look.

"No, the globe you made." His father gave him a playful tickle. "When do I get to see it?"

"It's not finished yet. Daddy, where's my blades?"

"Oh... your blades are in the back of the truck. We can put them on when we get to the park." He took hold of his son's hand, leading him out of the school gate. He thought the woman in the blue blazer was going to stop him again, but she just presented him with a goofy grin, before she let him go. He scooped his son up into his arms once they were out, carrying him round the back of the other cars. "You know with that much water around, we should probably get you booked in for swimmin' lessons."

"No." Evan shook his head, still terrified of the water. He got a little too close to the water one summer at the ranch. His cousin decided that it would be funny to sneak up on him and push him in, laughing as he flapped about like a fish in the water, rather than running for help.

Luckily his father had been close by at the time to pull him out, but he still wouldn't go near the water.

Evan clutched his father's shoulder as they weaved through the cars, until they reached the back of his truck. "Daddy, what's in that box?" He noticed the box sat on the passenger seat right away, making his father smile as he lifted him into his booster seat in the back.

"Can't get anythin' past you, can I, my little CSI?" He playfully ruffled his fingers through his son's hair, ditching his bag on the seat beside him. "It's just some stuff that I wanted to give to somebody." He buckled his belt around him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I don't have to go to work tonight, so we can spend the whole day together tomorrow. Do you want to do anythin'?"

"Can we take the stabilisers off my bike?" He blurted the first thing that came into his head. "But Daddy," Evan tilted his head back, anxiously biting his bottom lip a moment. "Can I show Daddy Greg how good I can ride it? Will you ask him, Daddy? It won't be the same if he isn't there."

Nick gave him a slight nod, wondering if Greg even wanted to see him after he told him to stay away from him. He was difficult to avoid at the lab, but Greg made it easy for him by turning in the other direction every time he saw him.

It had been the most agonising four days of his entire life.

"I'll ask him, baby." He spoke softly, buckling his son into his seat. "But he might be workin'. He's on the night shift same as me now. Mind your fingers." Nick took a step back, closing the door. He anxiously ran his fingers through his hair as he made his way round to the driver's side. He watched his son playing with his iron man action figure through the window, digging his phone out of his pocket.

He doubted he would answer, but he couldn't stop him from leaving a message.

* * *

"Hey, Sanders!"

Turning to see who was calling his name, Greg smiled as lab technician, Henry Andrews came hurrying towards him, rather than the Texan he had been trying to avoid all week. He still didn't know what to do. He still didn't quite believe it, but his parents did and they insisted on coming over for the weekend to 'sort it out' in his mother's words. He didn't quite know what that entailed, but he was hoping he wouldn't have to see Nick face to face again.

"Greg?" Henry gave him a curious look, frowning at the younger man as he snapped himself out of his daze. "Hi, Greg. Is your double shift starting to get to you?"

"Oh... yeah," He forced a smile to spread across his lips. "I can hear my pillow calling me. I'm dying to get out of here now."

"Before you go, I wonder if I could run something by you." He opened the report he had in his hands. "The victim from your case, Becky Lester. I just finished her tox report. She had a blood alcohol level of point one eight and I found trace amounts of diazepam in her system."

"Thanks." Greg took the report off his hands. "I'll let Grissom know."

"Also, I heard the coroner found semen," He continued to follow Greg through the hallway. "So I tested for birth control. Estrogen and progesterone levels were spiked."

Greg cocked an eyebrow in the other man's direction, giving him a curious look. "Where did you hear about the coroners findings?"

"Oh," Henry gave him a sheepish smile, ruffling his fingers through the hairs beginning to stand up on the back of his neck. "Actually, I... I read the report. I know it's not exactly in my job description, but I was thinking that maybe I don't want to be a toxicologist my whole career. I mean, I like it and everything, but maybe there's something more out there for me." He motioned towards, Greg. "I mean, you went from being a DNA technician to working out in the field as a real CSI, seeing crime scenes first hand, and I guess you're kind of a role model to me."

"A role model, huh?" Greg couldn't help but smile, feeling as though he was finally starting to belong here.

"Yeah, you've paved the way for the rest of us. You've proven that there's more to us lab techs than the four walls of our lab... by the way," Henry stopped in front of him, stopping him from walking any further. "Where do you get your hair cut?" He admired the new style, feeling as though a part of the old Greg was back in the lab now that he had his highlights back. "I was thinking of dying my hair. I feel like it would give me more confidence. Is there like a special place you go?"

Greg smiled a little wider, almost adoring the dorky lab technician. "Personally, I don't think you need to dye your hair to boost your confidence. If you like Mandy, just tell her." He blurted out what was really on his mind, after spying Henry fawning over her in the break room earlier. "Changing your hairstyle won't change how she feels about you. She either likes you or she doesn't. You won't know until you ask her."

Henry pursed his lips together, nodding his head slightly. "But I'm not really the kind of person to do something drastic."

"Asking out someone that you like isn't drastic, Henry. It's a completely natural thing to do. People talk to each other all the time. Just tell her how you feel. You have a lot more working for you than you think. Just ask her. Bet you she feels exactly the same as you do. There's definite sparks between you two." Greg presented him with a smile, hurrying towards the front desk as he spotted his supervisor. "Hey, Grissom. I got something for you." He grabbed his phone from his belt as it started to ring, watching the familiar name flashing across the screen a few times, before he hit 'ignore'.

"Greg?" His supervisor gave him a suspicious look. "You have something for me."

"Uh... yeah, sorry. Tox report on our vic, Becky Lester... from Henry." He handed it over to the man.

Grissom gave him a curious look after watching him ignore a phone call, before he flipped through the file. "Thank you, Greg. Aren't you on your way out?" He checked the time on his watch.

"Yeah, I was just going now. Hey listen, do you mind if I switch my shifts around on Monday?"

"Because Nick's on lates?" Grissom assumed, realising he shouldn't have said that little 'thought' out loud. "Sorry, but I couldn't help but notice that you're doing everything you can to avoid being in the same room as Nick at the moment. Catherine said you even asked to switch cases with her, just to avoid being around him. Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?"

"Nothing to write home about." Greg shook his head, backing himself up towards the locker room. "If it's a problem, don't worry about it. I just wanted to spend some more time with my folks, while they were in the city..."

"Greg." He called after him, stopping him from trying to manipulate him. "I can move some shifts around to give you more time with your parents. I could have used more notice, but I'm sure we can find cover. But you realise you're going to have to work with him eventually. We're a team. We all have to be able to work together. We can't have two people in our team avoiding each other when we have to depend on one another out there in the field with our lives."

"It's got nothing to do with him. Thanks, boss." Greg gave him a smile, making a beeline for the locker room, before he asked him anymore questions. He grabbed his things from his locker, hearing his phone beeping with a voicemail message. "I'm not going to listen to it." He muttered out loud, pulling on his jacket. He hurried down the stairs to the parking garage, fumbling with his keys in his hand as he searched for his car in the maze.

Ignoring his cell as it started to ring again, Greg climbed into the driver's seat of his car, willing the phone to stop ringing as he fumbled with his keys.

When he couldn't take the sound of it anymore, he snatched the device off his belt, ready to throw it under the car driving past him. But then he realised that it said 'Mother' and not the man he was trying to avoid. Giving out a heavy sigh, he hit accept, slowly lifting the phone to his ear. "Hi, Mom. What's up?"

 _"Hi, sweetheart. I was just going to leave you a message, I thought you'd still be on your shift."_

"Yeah, I took the early shift. I've just pulled a double." He slotted the keys into the ignition, turning off the radio as he started up the engine. "I'm actually heading home now to get some sleep, before you guys arrive tomorrow."

 _"Slight change of plans on that one, honey."_ The woman confessed, watching her husband lugging her bag into their hotel room. _"Your father got done early at work, so we decided to drive over a little earlier than expected. We're actually here now. We've just checked into our hotel. Now, please don't be mad. But I called Nick this morning."_

"What?" He snapped at her. He felt his heart pounding his chest. He was fuming already. "Mom, I asked you not to talk to him. Several times, so you can't even pretend that you didn't hear me. How could you do this to me?"

 _"I heard you. Relax, I didn't say anything to him. I got his voicemail. I left him a very polite message, asking if we as the child's grandparents could be involved in our grandchild's life. I may have also asked for a few things... photos and things. I just want to get to know my grandson, sweetheart. It's a perfectly natural thing to do."_

He knew his mother had the best intentions, but she always had the tendency to meddle in things that were his business, not hers. "That's it, that's all you said?"

 _"That's it, I swear. Cross my heart. We've missed out on so much of his life already. I just want some keep sakes or something to look back on. We weren't exactly there. With you we have memories of you of that age, photos, toys... we don't have anything to actually prove that our grandchild even exists."_

"Yeah Mom, I know how that feels." He tried to remind her that he was in the same boat as her.

 _"Oh... I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I was doing it for you too. You need photos and things of your own son. You've missed out on the first few years of your flesh and bloods life."_ The woman explained her intentions, putting the phone on speaker as her husband sat himself down beside her on the bed. _"Your father's here too, sweetheart."_

"Hi, Dad." Greg leant back in his seat, wishing he had ignored this call too.

 _"Hey, have you talked to Nick yet?"_ Daniel queried, anxiously biting his bottom lip as they waited in silence for an answer.

"Not exactly." Greg finally spoke. "It's... tricky. I don't know what to say to him for starters. Ignoring him seems so much easier at the moment."

 _"You're going to have to talk to him eventually."_ His father pointed out to him.

 _"I know a great icebreaker, how about asking him about your child?"_ His mother sounded more than a little annoyed and he knew that he was the cause. _"We still don't even know what our grandchild's name is. Much less his birthday. I've compiled a list of possible names based on popular Texan boy names and a list of names from the social security lists..."_

"Evan." He cut her off.

His parents gasped, exchanging a look between them.

"His name is Evan Gregory Stokes." Greg filled in the blank for them. "Nick probably only gave him my name to make himself feel a little less guilty about hiding him from me, but I like the name Evan. It's cute, right? Oh, and his birthday is August the tenth, nineteen ninety nine." He heard his mother gasp a little louder this time, probably about to burst into tears knowing her.

 _"How did you find that out if you're not talking to him?"_ His father asked, while his mother tried to catch her breath.

Breathing out a deep breath of his own, Greg cut the engine to his car, admitting, "I asked the team at the lab. They don't know much about him, but they certainly know more than I do about my own child. Turns out they've all babysat Nick's child at least once. Sara more than any of them, which is even weirder. I didn't think she even liked kids. Warrick was there when he started crawling for the first time. Grissom had him in his office once, showing him an ant farm. It seems everyone has had a hand in raising Nick's child. Everyone but me."

 _"Your child."_ He heard his mother's voice. _"He's your child, not just Nick's. Greg, you can't avoid the man forever. You have a child together. You used to love him."_

"I _still_ love him, that's kinda the problem." He corrected the woman, feeling goose bumps trembling down his spine. "I uh... I gotta get some sleep. Are you guys alright navigating the city by yourselves for a while?" Greg suddenly felt the urge to listen to that voicemail Nick had left him, even though he had no intention in believing a word the liar said. "I'll call you later after I've got some sleep."

 _"We'll be fine."_ Daniel answered for his wife, taking the phone off her hands. _"Get some sleep, Greg. We'll see you later."_

"Okay, bye. Love you lots." Greg hung up on his parents, quickly scrolling through his phone to find his voicemail. He selected his only unheard message, gulping softly as he brought his phone to his ear.

 _"Hey Greg... it's me... Nick."_ He immediately felt weak in the knees from the sound of the Texan's delicious voice. Why did his voice have such power over him? _"I know you told me to leave you alone... but I... I'm not really callin' for me. You don't have to have anythin' to do with me if you don't want to... I don't blame you for that. I deserve every bit of your hate. But I... I have somebody here that really wants to meet you. Don't punish him for my mistakes..."_

 _"Daddy..."_ He heard the muffled voice of a child in the background.

 _"Hang on, baby. Anyway... uh... give me a call if you want to meet him... or spend some time with him. We're gonna be at the park by my house for the next few hours. The one on the east side with the skate park right next to it. Stop by if you get done with your shift... I uh... I'll see you later. Bye, G."_

Greg dropped his head back to his seat, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He quickly hit 'replay' to listen to the message again, feeling a tear forming in his eye from the sound of his son's voice in the background. In some ways, he almost didn't believe that he was real since he had never seen him before, but the sound of his voice only proved that he really did exist and Nick really was an asshole for lying to him about something as important as a child.

He waited for the message to stop, before he hit 'replay' again, listening to it another three or four times, until tears were streaming down his cheeks. He ditched the phone on the seat beside him, banging his head against the steering wheel a few times, before he managed to start up the engine.

Home, he decided.

There was no way he was going to give into Nick and do what he wanted. He needed to get home and sleep. He could barely keep his puffy red eyes open as it was. He needed to get home. He had to sleep.

"Damn it." He banged his fist against the steering wheel, driving right by his apartment building. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn't just ignore a call like that. This was a once in a life time opportunity. His first chance to meet his son. He couldn't just let it pass him by, no matter how tired he was.

Wiping the tears from his cheeks, Greg directed the car towards Nick's old neighbourhood, feeling butterflies in his stomach as he passed by the old house. He had no intention of seeing the man. He really didn't want to, but he found himself outside the park a few minutes later, scanning the crowd inside to try and find the one that shared his DNA. He studied DNA under a microscope in a lab, but never at this distance before. He didn't even know what to look for. Anyone of them could be related to him at this distance.

Grabbing his keys from the ignition, Greg reluctantly climbed out of the car, advancing a little closer to the park. He decided to scan the adults instead, searching for Nick in the crowd, but the majority of the adults were women or grandparents. No delicious slightly older Texan men in sight.

Had he lied to him?

Keeping close to the fence of the children's play area, Greg made his way around the outside, overhearing the familiar laugh of his delicious Texan coming from somewhere. He followed the laugh past a bunch of kids in private school outfits, putting more questions in his head about his own son.

Was he even in school yet? What were his favourite subjects? Did he have lots of friends? Were his teachers nice?

Hearing the familiar laugh again, Greg stumbled directly into the path of a woman pushing a twin stroller, giving her an apologetic look as he stepped out of her way. He turned towards where he heard the laugh, finally spotting the man in the distance, dressed in navy blue jeans and an adorable white t-shirt. He looked cat walk worthy. He always looked good whatever he wearing, but he looked especially delicious today.

Of course he could be covered in puss filled ant bites, dirt and sweat and Greg would still adore him. He was the love of his life.

Greg tried to get a little closer without being spotted, finally catching a glimpse of the small child he was following around. He couldn't see much from his position, but the child was wearing an adorable pair of tartan print shorts with a light blue t-shirt, along with a pair of rollerblades strapped to his feet.

Greg stopped before he got too close, tucking his arms close to his chest as a group of cyclists whizzed past him. He stared past the busy people, focusing only on the family that belonged to him, but he still didn't feel a part of. He was really starting to feel as though he had just stepped into an alternate universe, viewing how his life could have been if he made different decisions.

They were so close to him now, but still just out of his reach.

Keeping a safe distance away to avoid being spotted, Greg watched the two of them together, feeling a little envious of the bond they had. He caught his first glimpse of the child's features for a moment, gulping softly as he was undoubtedly the product of himself and the man he adored. He felt as though he was looking at a younger version of himself, especially the shabby hair style.

Greg rocked the shabby surfer hairstyle for years, before he finally started styling it into a Mohawk for school. His son's hair didn't seem to curl as much as his did though and the shape of his eyes definitely resembled Nick's more than his own.

Following them further down the bike path, Greg felt himself flinching as the child suddenly fell to his knees. He wanted to get closer to see if he was okay, but he could see a brave smile on his little face as Nick swept him to his feet. His father dusted down the dirt from his son's knees, pressing a big kiss to his little cheek, before he let him go again.

Greg gave out of breath of relief, realising that he was a lot like his mother in the protective parent aspect. He would have rushed straight over to his son and taken him to the emergency room or something for a fall like that. Nick was so calm and collected about it as if it were nothing.

He cared, he just didn't overreact.

Noticing them moving in the direction of the more open part of the park, Greg tried to stay a safe distance away, while keeping a visual on them, but he lost them in the crowd after less than a minute of tailing them. He got himself tangled in the leashes of a dog walker while he was looking elsewhere, giving her an apologetic smile as he stepped over the lines holding the dogs in front of her. He scanned the crowd once he was free, feeling like a stalker as he searched for them everywhere.

When he finally caught sight of them again, he was a little too close for comfort.

Nick had sat their son down on the bench less than ten feet away from him, removing the rollerblades from his son's feet. The Texan was facing the opposite direction from him, so he wouldn't see him unless he turned around, but his son was facing his direction. He could finally see all of his adorable little features together.

The familiar shape of his nose. The soft gold flecks in his eyes. The beautiful curve of his smile.

He was the most beautiful little creation in all the world and he was a part of him. A part he didn't even know existed until now, but he felt so lost without him already.

Greg watched the two of them together, adoring his son's little smile. His beautiful gappy toothed grin lit up his whole face.

He loved him already.

Greg was standing close enough to them to see Evan's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle socks, reliving a part of his own childhood. He waited for him to look up, almost fearing the look he would give him, but he wanted to look into his eyes. He wanted to hear him laugh or hold him in his arms for just a moment.

How could he have a six year old child in the world and not know anything about him?

Nick continued to tie the laces to his son's converse sneakers, listening to him talking the whole time. He lifted him to his feet a moment later, letting him run off on his own towards the swings, while he collected up his blades. He pushed himself to his feet a moment later, unhooking the sunglasses from his t-shirt to put them on, but he stopped the moment he noticed someone familiar nearby.

Greg.

The younger man was stood just a few feet away from him, looking in the direction of the swings rather than at him. He followed his gaze, realising he was watching their son swinging back and forth on the swing.

Hooking his sunglasses back on his t-shirt, Nick made his way over to the younger man, keeping his son in his sights. "Hey, Greg." He spoke softly, giving him a slight smile as he couldn't take his eyes off their creation. "I'm glad you came. I thought after you've been avoidin' me all week that you'd just... I wasn't sure if you'd get my message, before you headed home."

"Yeah... I... I got it." Greg was so focused on the child, he could barely form sentences. "Is that..."

"That's him." Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Nick watched Evan stretching his legs out as far as he could in the air, before he tucked them under the swing for the journey back. "Are you okay?"

"Dumb question." Greg spoke softly, mimicking his actions with his hands in his pockets.

"Sorry."

"He's real." The younger man whispered, feeling tears burning in his eyes again as he watched their little miracle. "I didn't really believe it when you told me... before," He paused, adoring the sound of his little laugh. "Considering the circumstances... when you told me I mean... I thought you might have been a little delirious or something after being stuck in the elevator for all those hours. Even asking the team about him didn't make him feel... real... because I've never actually seen him before. But he's real."

"Yeah, he's real." Nick nodded, remembering what it was like for himself when he first found out about him. He adored the sound of Greg's incoherent babbling, relieved that he finally knew. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but the fact that he was here with them now made it feel more real.

"He's... he's amazing."

"Yep, my little miracle. Ours." Nick corrected himself. "He's _our_ little miracle baby. We just came from his school. He's in the first grade. We usually come here every day to blow off some steam, before we head home for some dinner. He likes this frozen yoghurt place just round the corner from us for dessert. Lots of jelly beans, chocolate sauce and marshmallows on top. Not every night, obviously."

"Worried he'll turn into a chubby little cherub like you at that age?" Greg finally made eye contact with him.

Nick returned his gaze with a smile, shaking his head slightly. "No worries there, he has your energy level. Most days, I can barely keep up with him. I had trouble gettin' this kid to put on weight in the beginnin'. He's still a little small for his age, but the doc says he'll reach his milestones, he'll just take a little longer than most kids to reach em." He waited for Greg to speak, but he just continued to stare at their beautiful creation. "So uh... do you want to meet him?"


	19. Chapter 18 - First Impression

**Chapter Eighteen - First Impression**

After staring at the child they had created for the longest moment, Greg turned to look at the man beside him, giving him a confused look. "Huh?" He thought he had heard him say something, but he didn't quite register it.

Nick couldn't help but smile at the adorable man. "I said, do you want to meet your son?"

"No... I-I gotta... I have to," Greg motioned in the other direction, trying to think of an excuse, but he really didn't have one. He couldn't even come up with a fake excuse, his mind just went completely blank. Instead, he felt goose bumps trembling down his arms, his palms starting to sweat and his heart racing a little faster, almost as though he was about to have a panic attack. "What if he doesn't like me?" He finally looked round at Nick.

"Not possible." The Texan smiled wider, taking a step closer to him. "He's six years old, G. He likes everythin', especially new things. Just the idea of you is amazin' to him. Besides, what's not to like? Just give him a chance to get to know you. C'mon, I'll introduce you." He slipped his hand into Greg's, attempting to lead him over to him.

"I can't." Greg pulled back, anxiously biting his bottom lip.

"Yes you can, Greg. He's your son." Nick gently encouraged him to take another step.

"No, I can't... wait... you told him about me?" He frowned at the older man, sure he would have hidden that little fact from him too.

"Yeah, I gave him pictures of you. Told him all about you. He freaked out when he lost a photo of you in Texas. He won't go anywhere without one. There's probably one in is backpack right now. Greg... he's your child." Nick took a step closer to him, giving him a reassuring smile. "He's gonna love you because he's a part of you. Just be yourself. He's your boy, you already have a bond. I swear, I wouldn't lie to you about somethin' like that. I know I shouldn't have kept him from you, believe me, I hate myself for doin' this to you. But I want you to know him. I want you to know each other. He'll love you no matter what, because you're Greg." He assured him, giving him the encouragement he needed to advance a little closer towards him.

"You'll catch me if I pass out, right?" Greg gulped hard, wishing he had never come here. He knew it would have been worse sitting home alone, but at least he wouldn't be on the verge of a panic attack in front of his child.

"C'mon, G. It'll be alright," Nick walked on ahead of him, getting his son's attention. "Hey, little monster." He ducked under the metal framework of swings. "Can you stop for a sec? There's somebody here that I want you to meet."

Evan dragged his feet across the ground to make his swing stop, clutching the chains either side of him tightly as he stared at the man stood behind his father. He studied his every feature with a look of intent, feeling as though he knew him already, even though this was the first time he had seen him in the flesh.

Kneeling himself down in front of his son, Nick gave him a smile, trying to encourage him out of his shell. He had imagined their first meeting a thousand times, but he never imagined the two of them too nervous to even talk to each other. The silence between them was deafening.

"Do you know who that is, baby boy?" Nick gently tapped his little chest, making sure this wasn't too much for him to take in. "That's your Daddy. Greg." He spoke softly, watching his curious little eyes studying the man's features. "He came here to see you."

Evan anxiously bit the tip of his finger, amazed that the man was really standing right in front of him. "Is it really him, Daddy?" He spoke in a barely audible whisper.

"It's really him." Nick pecked a kiss to the side of his head, putting his arm around his waist. "Do you want to meet him, baby? It's completely up to you." He watched his son mulling over the decision for a moment, before he slid himself off the swing. He instinctively reached out for his father's hand to hold, walking himself towards the other man with his father at his side.

The child stopped just a few feet away from him, still biting the tip of his finger as he studied the man in the flesh for the first time. "Are you really my Daddy?" He gave him a quizzical look.

Wiping away a tear threatening to spill from his eye, Greg looked into the older man's eyes for answers, before he gave the child in front of him a slight nod. He knelt down to his level, adoring him even more now he could see every one of his beautiful features. Every adorable cluster of moles. The gaps in his gums where he was waiting for new teeth to come in, the glow of his big chocolate brown eyes and his thick long lashes, flapping over his eyes like the wings of an angel.

He was officially the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on and he loved him more than anything already, without really knowing anything about him.

"I'm... Greg." He almost forgot his name for a moment. "You're so big already."

"I'm the smallest kid in my class." Evan grinned back at him, taking a brave step closer to the man. "Why are you sad?" He asked, touching his little hand to Greg's cheek. His little fingertips felt like delicate wings of a butterfly, gently brushing away a tear.

"I'm not sad." Greg shook his head, giving the child a smile. "It's just... I-I've tried to picture what you looked like so many times." He stared into his eyes for the longest moment, feeling his heart swelling with love. "You're more beautiful than I ever imagined."

"I like your hair." The child took another brave step closer, running his fingers through the man's spikes of bleached blonde hair. "It's cool."

"Thank you, I just had it done actually." He glanced towards Nick to see if he had noticed. "I like yours. You must have got your father's genes on that one. Mine curls when it gets that long." Greg nervously babbled, gulping softly as he studied the child's adorable features. "You know, I saw you rollerblading earlier. Where did you learn how to roller blade? I could never balance on those things when I was a kid."

"My cousin taught me in Texas. Daddy can't balance on them either." He spoke a little louder this time, gaining a little more confidence. "I really want to go ice skating, but Daddy can't skate. Daddy said he would take the stabilisers off my bike this weekend. Can you ride a bike?"

"Yeah, I can. Or at least I could. I haven't ridden one in years. My Dad taught me when I was about your age." Greg smiled a little wider, adoring the sound of his little voice already. "My Mom wouldn't let me ride it without a helmet, knee pads and elbow pads on though. I think that's why I never learnt how to roller skate."

"Is your Daddy alive?" Evan queried, clutching Nick's hand tightly in his own at his side.

"He is."

"Does that mean I have another Granddad?" He tilted his head back to look at his father, Nick. "Do I have to call him Granddad too? Do I have two of everything now?"

"Yeah, I guess you kinda do." Nick couldn't help but smile at him, realising it was starting to get a little confusing. He had a whole new family to get to know, but he wanted him to know Greg before he started introducing the rest of them. "Hey baby, why don't you show Greg around the park? We've still got a while longer before we have to go home to get you fed."

"Do you like climbing frames?" Evan stepped forwards, giving him a curious look.

"I do, actually." Greg let the child lift his hand from his side, trying to hold back his tears. His hand was so small and adorable. It fit perfectly inside his own and his grip was so much stronger than he thought it would be. He let Evan drag him away towards the complex looking climbing frame, a little relieved that he didn't ask him to play football or something with him first.

Still, he wasn't quite sure if he was allowed to go up on the climbing frame with him, until he saw a mother crossing the slightly elevated bridge beside them with her two young girls and a large pregnant belly. If it was okay for her to be up there, he figured it must be okay for him.

Evan watched his footing as he climbed up the ladder, avoiding his fingers being crushed by the other kids at the top. He turned to watch Greg grabbing the rope to pull himself up, before he reached out for the man's hand.

"Follow me."

When Greg was a child, he was used to climbing up a ladder on one side, going across the monkey bars and maybe a slide, but this one appeared to have all sorts of things to do and there were kids everywhere.

He felt completely out of his comfort zone.

Evan waited for a path to clear on the shaky rope bridge, before he made his way across with Greg behind him. He thought he was going to take a left at the end, taking the slide with the woman and her girls, but Evan opted to crawl through the long yellow tunnel on the other side.

"This way, Greg!" His child scrambled to his feet at the other end, crossing a log bridge that had chains either side of it to hang onto. It wasn't that much of a drop for Greg, but Evan made his way across as if it were nothing.

The child was fearless.

Gulping softly, Greg followed in the child's footsteps, clutching the chains as tightly as he could to help himself across. He had trouble keeping up with him round the next hurdle, really starting to feel the effects of working a double shift. He couldn't believe his son had so much energy. He was so small, but he was bouncing around all over the place, darting from one place to the next. Nick really wasn't lying when he said he had his energy level. Greg only wished he still had the energy level of a child, rather than a thirty one year old man in desperate need of a caffeine fix.

He was relieved when he finally stopped to swing on the swings again, giving him a moment to catch his breath.

"Kick your legs out when you go up." Evan instructed the man, demonstrating the action on the swing beside him. "It makes you go higher!" He giggled when he reached the top, making rocket sounds as he came crashing back down. "Like this, Greg."

"I'm watching." Greg kept a close eye on his beautiful little miracle, wondering where Nick had got to. He felt a little guilty that he had completely excluded him from their first meeting, but then he reminded himself that Nick had gotten to know him for the first six years of his life.

Greg had only known him for half an hour.

"Can you push me, Greg?" Evan pulled his swing to a stop, giving the man an adorable grin.

"I sure can. How high do you think you can go?" Greg made sure he had a tight grip on the swing chains, before he pulled it back to push him as high as he could. He smiled as he heard his son's adorable infectious laugh, seeing a lot of similarities to Nick's smile in his features.

"Higher! Higher." Evan giggled louder, shooting his legs into the air on the journey up. He felt as though he was almost flying.

"You'll bump your head on the moon if you go any higher." Greg quoted his Papa Olaf, wishing his family were here to see him too.

"Higher!"

"Hold tight. Don't let go." Watching the lonely man on the sidelines, Greg gently pulled the swing to a stop, kneeling himself down in front of his son. He had so many questions that he wanted to ask him, but he just couldn't think of them right now. "Hey, I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Shall we go back to Ni... I mean, Daddy and get some food?" He quickly corrected himself.

"Yeah." Evan slid off the swing, grabbing hold of Greg's hand from his side. "Are you coming too?"

Greg pursed his lips together a moment, seeing the disappointed look in his child's eyes. He couldn't bare the sight of the disappointed look in his eyes, so he reluctantly agreed with a slight nod. "Yeah... okay." He pushed himself to his feet, feeling Evan's little hand slotting perfectly into his own again, before they started walking towards, Nick.

"Daddy, did you see how high I went?" Evan pulled away from Greg, rushing straight into his father's arms as the man bent down to his level. "I went this high. Higher than all the clouds." He excitedly exclaimed, putting his arms around the man's shoulders to hug him tightly.

"I saw. I thought for a moment that you were flyin'." Nick gently patted him on the back, pecking a kiss to his little cheek. "Are you all done then, ready to go home?"

"Yeah, we're hungry. Daddy, can Greg eat with us?"

Nick looked in the younger man's direction, sensing that he didn't really want to be around him, but he seemed pretty eager to spend more time with his son. "Well, that depends on Greg. He might be sleepy after his shift. Do you want to come back to our house and eat with us, Greg?"

"I... guess... would it be okay, with you?" Greg shielded the sun from his eyes, giving the older man a nervous look. He felt as though he was imposing, even though they were both technically a part of his family now.

"Of course, you're welcome over anytime, G."

"In that case I would love to." He assured him. "Uh, I have my car here... so I'll meet you there. You still live in the same place?"

"Yeah," Nick nodded, gulping as he watched the younger man walking away. He feared that he wouldn't come back, but he knew him better than that. He turned his attention towards his son in his arms, pecking a kiss to his forehead. "Did you have fun with your Daddy Greg?"

"Yeah." Evan shrugged his shoulders together, resting his head against his father's shoulder as he carried him back to their own car. "I wish he could stay with us all the time."

Nick wished that he could respond with _'me too'_ but he doubted Greg would ever forgive him for this. He watched the younger man pulling away in his beat up old car, hoping he was heading in the direction of his house, so Evan wouldn't be disappointed.

But he knew that he couldn't really blame him if he didn't show up at all.

"Alright. Go wash your hands, baby. I've got your bag." Nick scooped it up from the floor, closing the door after he jumped down. He glanced around at the street as they made their way towards the front door, hoping that Greg was on his way, but he couldn't see any cars. He unlocked the door for his son, letting him hurry inside, while he watched the street. "C'mon Greg, where are you?"

Evan sat himself down by the door to remove his sneakers, before he hurried down the hallway to the bathroom to wash his hands. He came back a few minutes later screeching like a siren, driving a toy truck across the counter where Nick was leaning, watching the street outside.

"Daddy, I'm hungry."

"Yeah. I know, baby." Nick straightened himself up, stepping around his son to get to the fridge. "Alright... chicken or beef enchiladas? I got both out this mornin'."

"Chicken." Evan bounced towards the front room, crawling on his hands and knees, driving the truck across the carpet. "Daddy, how far away is San Fraco... Fraciso... that place you said that Daddy Greg lived?"

"San Francisco." Nick corrected him, searching through his kitchen for what he needed. His mother had done her version of a tidy up while she was there, putting things in places where they didn't belong and were kind of awkward, considering what they were used for. He never would have considered the coffee being with the canned food, rather than with the cereal, right above the kettle where he liked it.

"How far?" Evan appeared beside him as he searched inside the cupboard beneath the cutlery drawer. He used to keep all the plates and bowls in there, but he found a casserole dish he had never used and a stack of neatly folded towels.

Nick rolled his eyes, turning his attention towards his son. "Um... I don't know, last time I went there... it was almost a nine hour drive. Texas is just over a thousand miles from us... so it'll probably take twice that long to get there. Do you know where Grandma put my fryin' pans?"

"Did you try that one?" He pointed to the cupboard next to the stove.

"That would be too obvious for Grandma." Nick pushed himself to his feet, gently ruffling his fingers through his son's hair as he stepped around him. He knelt down to search inside the cupboard, finding the coffee mugs he had been searching for this morning. "I hate it when she reorganises my stuff." He pulled them out one by one, setting them on the counter above him to put them back in the right place.

"If Daddy moves back there, will we be able to see him still?"

"Hey, baby." Nick reached out for his hands, looking into his eyes. "Daddy's not goin' back there. Not anytime soon, anyway. He's workin' at the lab again. He has his own place and he has you. I know Greg, he keeps his promises." He assured him, even though he was starting to doubt him at the moment.

The drive from the park to the their house was less than five minutes away. It had now been almost half an hour since they last saw him and there was still no sign of him.

"Hey, why don't you go play in the front room for a while? I'll call you when it's ready. Might be a while, I still have to find what I need in this kitchen."

"We can order pizza again." Evan suggested, giving his father a wide smile.

"No, Grandma will have my neck if she knew I was feedin' you pizza and Chinese takeout every night of the week. It's not good for you. We gotta start gettin' things back to normal. Eatin' healthy. I'll find em. You go play." He pressed a kiss to his son's forehead, ushering him out of the kitchen with his toy truck. He got started on putting things back in their normal places, finding everything he needed to make their dinner in no time.

Within a few minutes, Evan had his entire box of toy cars dumped out on the living room floor, driving them around underneath the coffee table. He continued playing through the doorbell chiming, looking up as his father hurried out of the kitchen to answer it. He sat back on his heels watching him talking to someone in the doorway.

"Hey, sorry... I thought I'd head home and grab a change of clothes, and a quick shower. Our crime scene and DB weren't exactly fresh. You could probably smell it on me from a mile away." Greg ran his fingers through his wet hair, hoping it would have dried by the time he got over to Nick's, but he still had drips running down the side of his head.

"Hey it's okay," Nick beamed a wide smile at him, lighting up the moment he saw him. "It's almost ready, so you didn't really miss anythin'."

"Greg!" Evan scrambled to his feet, running towards him to greet him. "Do you want to see my room?"

"Yeah, okay." Greg handed the older man his jacket, kicking off his sneakers at the door. He accepted Evan's little hand in his own, padding down the hall after him towards the room that used to house Nick's snooker table.

It didn't even look remotely the same anymore.

The walls were blue and green instead of grey. The floor was soft and carpeted instead of the old hardwood floors it had before. The setup was clearly the room of a little boy, rather than a grown man's games room. He saw dinosaurs and fire trucks decorating the shelves. Toy planes hung from the ceiling, along with a few glow in the dark stars. The curtains had stars and planets on them and the bed spread was Iron Man red and gold. The bed side table had an Iron Man action figure sitting on it, next to a child sized red and gold helmet.

"Wow." He glanced above the child's bed, looking at the bright blue letters, spelling out the letters of his name.

Evan, the most beautiful name in the world to him right now.

It still didn't sound familiar to him, but there was no denying that he was real anymore. He had a whole room full of memories. A height chart against the wall marked his growth each birthday. He could see every little marking, right from the beginning at seven months old, all the way up to his sixth birthday marking. Various photos from birthday parties, Christmas celebrations and random adorable smiles were pinned around his room. He had toy cars, fire trucks, trains and train tracks scattered across his bedroom floor.

Greg cracked a grin, imagining his mother yelling at him to clean it up.

The room felt so familiar to him, it could almost be his own.

It was perfect.

Most importantly, his flesh and blood was showing him around his room, pointing out all his cool toys, especially his Iron Man action figure. He expected to see a well loved teddy bear like he had as a child, but he had an action figure that was covered in scuffs and scrapes, clearly loved from the way Evan held him.

"Do you want to hold him?" Evan placed the action figure in Greg's hand. "I wrote my name on his foot." He turned him in Greg's hands, showing him his initials on the bottom. "I want to be like Iron Man when I get bigger. He has lots of cool robot stuff and lots and lots of money. He could live in a Pyramid or up in the mountains."

"A pyramid, whoa." Greg smiled widely at the adorable excitable child in front of him.

"Like this one." Evan grabbed a picture off his desk, placing it in Greg's hand. "That's here in Las Vegas. It's the Lu... the Lux..." He pointed to the name running across the top.

"Oh the Luxor."

"Yeah, Grandma and Granddad stayed there when I got borned. It's the tallest in the whole of Las Vegas."

"Yeah, I've seen it. It is really tall." Greg agreed with him, deciding not to tell him about the crime scene that he worked there earlier this week. He didn't get to see much of the hotel or casino itself as he was stuck in the parking garage beneath it for nine hours, working a scene. But he still got to see the outside of it.

"Grandma and Granddad only stayed there a few days. I didn't get to see it because I was in hospital. When I was little, I was really ill. I went to doctors and my heart couldn't breathe. They did a operation. I nearly died. But I didn't." Evan adorably explained to him, bringing a slight smile to Greg's lips.

"I'm glad you didn't." Greg spoke softly.

"I have a scar here." He pointed to his chest. "Daddy says it will never go away."

Greg could definitely relate to that. He had lived with the scars on his back for what felt like a lifetime now. He never let anyone see them. He didn't trust anyone other than Nick to see the vulnerable side of him. He didn't even trust his own mother to look at them.

"Look at these, Greg." He darted to another part of his room. "Me and Daddy built that army one. Grandma bought that one for my birthday." Evan pointed up to the ceiling at the hovering plane hanging over them. "Me and Granddad built it. I painted it."

"That's cool. I used to build model air planes when I was a kid with my Dad. They never looked that good though. I always got the pieces stuck to my fingers more than anything else." He reached his hand up to spin one of them round, noticing a photo of himself on the child's bedside table. He knelt down to look at it, moving back as Evan squeezed past him to pick it up.

"Daddy gave it to me when he told me about you. Grandma took my other ones. I like your hair in this one." He clutched the photo tightly, giving Greg the most adorable look he had seen yet. "Will you stay with us now?"

"Well I..." Greg tried to think of a reason to say no, but the only one he could think of was the fact that Nick was a liar.

"Hey," The man in question appeared in the doorway, saving Greg from having to answer his question. "Dinners almost ready. Did you wash your hands, Evan?"

"Yes, with lots and lots of soap." Evan set down his photo, hurrying after his father down the hall. "Daddy, can Greg sit next to me?" He climbed up onto his usual chair, giving his father a smile as he moved the third place mat to sit next to him. "Daddy, Greg didn't wash his hands."

"Sorry G, you gotta obey the rules too." Nick gave him a smile.

Greg gave them both a smile, before he turned towards the bathroom down the hall. He found Christmas scented soap by the sink, feeling a little overwhelmed as he looked around at all the kids things in the bathroom that used to belong to a bachelor. Instead of razors, shaving foam or hair gel sat on the side, there was a child's sized toothbrush with an alligator on the handle. A wash cloth covered in frogs was on the side and a tube of kids watermelon scented toothpaste had been left uncapped. He saw colourful fluffy towels rather than dark grey or blue that he used to have. The bath tub had a bucket of bath toys inside and the cabinet behind the mirror had no more tears shampoo, bubble bath for sensitive skin and various other products that Nick would have never touched before.

His life really had changed.

Greg quickly dried his hands on the super soft towel, smelling the delicious scent of food wafting down the hall. He quickly made his way back to the dining room, sitting himself down beside his son, just as the food arrived at the table. He had missed Nick's cooking. He wasn't a great cook, but he made the most delicious chilli he had ever tasted in his life. He liked to heavily spice his food too, exciting Greg's taste buds already.

"Chicken enchiladas with rice and avocado salad." Nick served his son a plate, setting the second one down in front of Greg. "Eat the salad too, Evan." He caught his son flicking it to one side of his plate already.

"I don't like vegetables. They taste horrible."

"It's avocado, cucumber, lettuce and tomatoes. You love avocado and tomatoes. Just try it. You eat it when Grandma's here." He took his own seat opposite them, smiling to himself as they were finally sitting side by side. He could pick out the similarities between them right away.

"I'll try it if you try it." Greg made the child an offer, sticking his fork into the suspect looking salad. He thought for a moment that Nick had pulled it right out of a container or something, but he could see the meal prep in the kitchen, proving that he really did make it from scratch. He stuck his first mouthful straight in, giving Evan a smile as it really did taste amazing. He had never been that keen on avocado before, but with the cucumber and tomatoes, he could barely taste it. "Mmm, it's really good." He purred, tempting Evan to try some.

"See, I told you." Nick smiled as his son went in for a second helping. He watched the two of them together, feeling as though his universe had finally corrected itself. They were so natural around each other, it was as though they had been together all along.

After dinner, Evan jumped straight down from the table, challenging Greg to a game in the front room. Nick opted to clear away the dishes to give them some more time to get to know each other, starting to feel a little less guilty as they continued to laugh and play together.

"Sorry to break this up." He finally stepped into the front room, looking at the time on his watch. "It's gone past your bed time, Evan."

"Nooo... five more minutes." Evan immediately protested, pouting his lip out at him.

"Listen to your Daddy." Greg backed him up, setting down the toys from his hands. "We can play again another day." He assured him, watching the child reluctantly climbing to his feet. He followed Nick down the hall to his bedroom, putting his pyjama's on without a fuss, while Greg did his best to clear away the mess they had made in the front room.

Before he could finish putting the toys away, Evan came barrelling down the hall dressed in his pyjama's, crashing straight into his arms as though they had known each other for years.

"Daddy Greg, Daddy said he would take my stabilisers off tomorrow. Can you come over again? I want to show you how good I can ride it."

"Um... I don't know," Greg shrugged his shoulders together, putting his arms around his child for the first time. "I'm working this weekend... but I'll check the schedule and see when I next have some time off." He glanced up at Nick, ushering his son back towards him. "You should get to bed, Evan. I'll see you again soon. I promise."

Evan gave him an adorable gappy toothed grin, before he hurried back to Nick. He waved to the younger man at his bedroom door, climbing straight into his bed. "Daddy, can Greg come for dinner the next day and the next day and the next day and the day after that?"

"Greg's on night shifts, so he can't come over every day. He's usually workin' when we have our dinner. We'll just have to wait and see, okay?" Nick tucked the covers up to his chest, pressing a kiss to his son's forehead. "One four three, baby. Sweet dreams."

"One four three, Daddy."

"Good night, sweet boy." Nick gently ruffled his fingers through his son's hair, pushing himself to his feet off the bed. He pulled the door to his room shut behind him, making his way back to the kitchen, where Greg was examining the photos and kids drawings pinned to his fridge with alphabet magnets. "That was his fourth birthday party. Iron man wasn't even on his radar back then. Spiderman was the greatest superhero of them all. I think he wore that costume for eight days straight, before I finally managed to get him out of it to take a bath."

"I never really liked Iron Man myself." Greg spoke softly, lifting a postcard to look at the other half of the photo underneath. "Tony Stark never really seemed like the superhero type to me. His character always seemed really arrogant. I never thought that bored rich billionaires make very good superheroes." He let the postcard fall back into place, pulling back to look at one his child's drawings. "Superman, now he's cool. Growing up on a farm with parents who had great values. He's a better role model." He turned to look at Nick behind him, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Is my name on his birth certificate?"

"Evan's?" Nick nodded his head, fishing it out of the drawer to show him. "Greg, I..."

"Please don't apologise to me again. It doesn't change the fact that you've lied to me all this time. It's just meaningless words at the moment." Greg grabbed the document, looking it over for himself. "Are you pregnant again?"

"What?" Nick gave him a confused look.

"The other day, before... when we slept together. We didn't exactly use any kind of protection, so are you pregnant again?"

"No." Nick assured him. "With Evan we had a one in a million chance anyway. There's no way that I could be."

"Would you even tell me if you were?" He sighed, handing him back the birth certificate from his hands. "I don't want to play happy families with you, Nick. I can't just wipe the slate clean and pretend that you didn't hide a child from me for the past six years. The fact that you can stand there and blame it all on your father, makes me wonder if you ever really loved me at all. I love you, Nick. I just don't know if I can forgive you. It hurts more because you chose your father over me."

"I didn't _choose_ him over you."

"You kinda did." Greg motioned towards the pictures on the fridge. "You chose his lies. You lied to me. You took a child from me, Nick. All of these memories that you've had with him, you robbed me of them." He gritted his teeth together, trying to stop himself from crying. "You're a coward."

"Me? I'm the coward." Nick folded his arms across his chest. "You left me because things were gettin' too real between us. The second I started talkin' about a future between us, you decided that you had to leave for some big job offer in San Francisco."

"This is different!" Greg protested, trying to keep his voice down. "You robbed me of a child."

"You keep sayin' that, but I didn't really take him from you, Greg. You left me because you didn't want any part of this life with me, remember? You would rather be off livin' your dream career, then even entertainin' the idea of startin' a family with me. You specifically told me that you never wanted kids." He reminded him, feeling guilty the moment the words came out of his mouth.

Sighing softly, Greg left the kitchen, grabbing his jacket from by the door. He slipped his sneakers on as Nick came towards him, even more annoyed at the man. "I don't even know who you are anymore."

"I'm still me, Greg. That hasn't changed."

"Yes it has." Greg argued back. "You hid a child from me. Our child. I've missed out on his life, because you sided with a monster. The Nick I knew would have never done that. Not to me." He quickly turned for the door so Nick couldn't see the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "I want to get to know my son... but I'm not sure I want you in my life anymore. You hurt me, Nick. I can't forgive that."

Nick wanted to reach out for him, say something to him, anything to stop him from walking away, but he felt completely helpless.

He really had lost Greg.

* * *

 **Sorry about the wait. I hope you enjoyed this next chapter. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy your weekend.**

 **~ Holly**


	20. Chapter 19 - Hard to Give Up

**Chapter Nineteen - Hard to Give Up**

Climbing the creaky staircase behind his supervisor, Greg tried to keep his mind focused on the case they were working, rather than the family photos leading up the side of the stairs. He couldn't help but wonder what Nick and their son had been doing all day without him. He wondered what they had been doing the whole six years that he was absent. The children in this house seemed to go on lots of adventures all over the world. He had no idea where Evan had ever been or if they had ever been on vacation anywhere together. He knew that Nick rarely ever took vacations.

Working long hours was a vacation from his everyday life.

"Blood drops on the banister." Grissom pointed his flashlight towards the drops of blood. "Splatter maybe. Can you see anymore?"

Greg looked around at the walls and floor, humming softly as he saw a mark on the ceiling. "Hmm... found some. There's a bloody handprint on the ceiling. Our DB downstairs had clean hands, so either we have another victim or our suspect is Spiderman."

"You checked his hands?" Grissom glanced round at him, surprised he had noticed that. He lifted his camera to snap a picture of it, raising an eyebrow in the younger man's direction as he realised what he had said. "Spiderman?"

"Look how high the ceiling is. How else would you explain a handprint on the ceiling like that?" He gave the man a grin, stepping round him to inspect the rooms. "There's access to the attic in the master bedroom... blood in the bathroom." Greg cautiously stepped into the room, photographing the pool of blood beside the child's bath toy. He bent to take a closer look at it, wondering what kind of toys Evan liked to play with the most.

"Hey." Sara stepped into the bathroom with him, lowering the light of her flashlight so she wouldn't blind him. "I didn't see you yesterday. Is everything okay?" She noticed the friction between him and Nick the other day, wondering if the secret was out. "Judy mentioned that your parents were in town. How long are they staying?"

"Just for the weekend. Just a... fly in visit." Greg glanced up at her, giving her a suspicious look. "You know, don't you?" He straightened up, looking for her familiar tells. "You're the only one who ever knew about Nick and me. He mentioned that you had been there for him while I wasn't. Did he tell you about, Evan?"

Sara sighed softly, clutching her kit at her side a little tighter. "Yes... yes, I know. Only because I was there when he fainted. I rode with him to the hospital. He made sure that I was well out of the way for it all, but I overheard the doctors talking about a baby and his c-section while he was sleeping. He begged me not to tell anyone."

"Even me?" He felt betrayed by everyone now. He used to trust the team, almost as much as they trusted each other with their lives every day they stepped out of the lab and into danger, but it appeared that he would always be an outsider to them. He would never be a part of their little club, making him feel as though he was back in Highschool again.

"I really am sorry." Sara spoke softly. "You didn't see what he was like. He was... broken, begging me to keep it quiet. He planned on keeping the whole thing quiet, but then someone found out that he had a baby, so he started telling everyone."

"Nick hiding this from me is one thing. But you?" Greg fought the urge to cry, starting to wish he had never come back. "What happened to no secrets?"

Grissom cleared his throat from the doorway, looking between his two CSIs as they backed away from each other. "Is there a problem here?"

"No." Greg squeezed past him, avoiding eye contact with the man. "I'll process outside the house. Is Warrick still on the driveway?"

"Should be, he's helping Detective Vartann take statements." Grissom scratched his head, watching the younger man quickly making his way down the stairs, before he turned to look at Sara behind him. "So, what was that about?"

"Nothing... private. Doesn't matter." Sara shook her head, setting her kit down on the floor. "I'll process the bathroom. Is Nick on shift tonight?"

"Late shift." He nodded. "He should be in soon. Is everything okay?"

Sara shrugged her shoulders together, pulling on some latex gloves, before she started processing. She didn't want to get anyone else involved in this situation, but she didn't like keeping secrets from anyone, least of all the man she loved herself.

* * *

Stepping out into the darkness of the night, Greg scanned the light of his flashlight across the ground, following fresh indentations in the long grass towards the fence panel at the back. He shone the light across a blood smear on the panel, following it towards a locked gate. Two fingerprints of blood sat beneath the lock and there was a sticky smudge on the top. He set his kit down to retrieve a swab, running it through the sticky substance on the top, so he could make sure that it was actually blood.

Greg knelt down to get what he needed for the test, watching the swab changing colour, confirming that blood was present. He pushed himself to his feet a moment later, practically jumping out of his skin as Warrick appeared beside him.

"Oh... don't do that!"

"Sorry." Warrick raised his arms either side of him, giving the younger man a smile. "Gris told me to give you a hand. Did you find something?"

"Yeah... I think we've got blood on the gate. Gris and I found a bloody handprint in the house. Maybe somebody fled out the back gate." He pointed towards it, carefully lifting the lock to get out. "From the position of these fingerprints, whoever it was would have had to reach over the outside of the gate to pull the lock back into place." He demonstrated, pointing out the marks to Warrick.

"Good spot, Greggo." He gave him an awkward smile, before he decided to change the subject. "Are you still seeing that guy I saw you with the other week?"

"What guy?" Greg gave him a confused look, before he remembered that Warrick caught him and Michael in an awkward lip lock outside his apartment. "No, I was never... he wasn't... it's just complicated, okay?" He willed him to drop the subject, trying to get back to work. "We're not and we never were together."

"Sorry, I only brought it up because you said the other night that you had prior engagement to get to. Remember when Cath asked you all out for drinks to celebrate my elopement? Nick had his son to get back to and you said you had other plans." Warrick cautiously followed in the younger man's footsteps, searching the ground outside of the back garden for any tracks. "I thought you had plans with him or something."

"He's just somebody that I worked with. We're not together like that." Greg came to a sudden stop, pointing the light of his flashlight through the long grass. "Can you see what that is from where you are?" He watched the older man lifting his flashlight a little higher, trying to get a look at it.

"Yeah. It's just a rock, Greg." He gave him a smile. "So are you seeing somebody new?"

"When did you become so interested in my love life, Warrick? You're starting to sound like my mother." Greg continued walking forwards, watching his footing against the ground around them. "My love life has nothing to do with you, or my mother. Hey look, I think we've found our murder weapon." He fished a standard kitchen knife out of the grass that was covered with blood. "Doc Robbins said our vic had a single stab wound to his back. I saw a set of these in the vic's kitchen. Weapon of opportunity."

Warrick lifted the camera from around his neck, snapping a picture of the knife from his colleagues hands. "Huh... looks like the bloods still wet. Did the Doc tell you a time of death?"

"Yeah, liver temp put the time of death around nine hours ago. It's kinda humid out here, maybe it just didn't dry." He held onto the knife while Warrick fetched a container to put it in, carefully slotting it inside to examine later at the lab. "Killer went to all the trouble to lock the gate on his way out, but dropped the knife just a few feet away?"

"Uh... Greg, I don't think it was intentional." Warrick pointed out the foot sticking out just a few feet away from them. He handed Greg the knife container, placing one hand on the gun holster on his belt as he approached it. He wasn't supposed to determine whether a dead body was truly dead or not, but he could tell from his pale complexion and the amount of blood soaked into his clothes that he was dead.

"Looks dead." Greg grimaced, covering his nostrils with the back of his hand. "Smells dead too."

"Yeah, I'll let the coroner know we have another DB. And I care because you seem unhappy." He answered his original question. "You haven't been the same high spirited Greg that you were before. I mean it's nice to see you grown up, focusing on work and cases, but I kinda miss the old Greg."

"I'm still here." Greg spoke softly, staying put while the older man made his way back to the house to find the coroners. He knew they hadn't left the scene yet as Grissom wanted the body to stay put, while he walked the crime scene.

Feeling goose bumps tingling down his spine, Greg closed his eyes, imagining Nick's arms around his waist as a strong breeze swept past him. The breeze was so strong, it almost felt as though Nick's chest was against his back, holding him securely in his embrace. He pictured his lips on his shoulder, teasing his sweet sticky tongue across the nape of his vulnerable neck. He longed to be that close to him again. He used to kiss him every day at least a dozen times if they were alone. He was the sweetest, kindest, most caring, loving and adorable man he had ever met.

Now his only thought was, _how could he do this to me?_

Snapping his eyes open just in time, Greg watched Warrick returning with Grissom and Super Dave, taking a step back so they could see the body for themselves. He watched them getting to work, trying to pay attention, but the Texan and his child were constantly on his mind now. He couldn't sleep, eat, drink, work or even take a shower without thinking about them anymore.

But he still had no idea about what he was supposed to do.

"Multiple stab wounds... I count three... make that four to his abdomen." Super Dave reported, inspecting each one. "Stab wounds look slightly smaller than our vic from inside."

"David, can you check his arms for defensive wounds, please?" Grissom leant over the body, watching the younger man pulling up the sleeves to their victims shirt. "There's a lot of blood."

"There is, but I can't see any open wounds." David checked the other arm, shaking his head at the older man. "Only open wounds I can see are the ones to his abdomen. We'll know more when he get him back to the morgue. He has a scar across his abdomen," He noticed on further exploration. "It looks surgical, at least a few years old."

Greg took a few steps closer to look at it, gulping softly as it looked just like the one on Nick's stomach. He shone his light across the man beneath them, trying to determine whether he could be in the same boat as the man he adored. It was hard to tell though. He always thought that Nick was just like him in every way. He had no way of knowing that he could be different. No way of knowing that he could give birth to their own child and certainly no way of knowing that he could ever break his heart in a way that he felt it would never heal.

"Greg?" His supervisor suddenly appeared in front of him. "Maybe you should ride back to the lab with the body."

"Don't bench me again." He complained, rolling his eyes at the man. "I can work the scene. I'm not incapable of working a scene."

"I'm not benching you." Grissom promised him, trying to make the trip back to the lab sound more advertising to him. "I'm asking you to ride back with the body. He doesn't have any ID on him. There's no photos of him in the house. We need to know who he is, what he was doing here and how he got himself stabbed. We could have another victim or another suspect out there. I'm depending on you, Greg."

"Fine."

Sighing softly, Greg packed up his kit, taking the evidence they had already packed up back to the lab. He grabbed himself a lab coat to join Doctor Robbins for the autopsy, hoping to bump into Nick just so he could see his face, but the only friendly face he saw was the Doc's. He stood beside the autopsy table, staring off into space as the man got started.

"Well, that's odd."

Greg perked up, giving the man a curious look. "What's odd?" He looked at the body between them. He wondered if he had found something that linked him to Nick, but it all looked pretty ordinary.

"There's a bullet lodged into his pelvic bone." Doctor Robbins pointed it out to him, before he attempted to dig it out. "There's no entry wound. From the looks of the bullet, it's been there a while."

"What about the scar on his abdomen?"

"Could be," The man placed the bullet in a small container, handing it over to Greg. "Maybe this will lead you to his ID? Something on your mind, Greg? You're unusually quiet." He gave the younger man a curious look. "You've barely said two words since you got here. It's not like you at all."

"What is this analyse Greg day? I'm fine. I just wish everybody would get off my case." He stormed out of the coroner's office, making his way back to the lab with the fragmented bullet. He dropped it off with Bobby at the ballistics lab, making his way through to the break room to grab himself he coffee. He hoped that today would be one of those awkward days that he got to bump into Nick, but there was still no sign of him anywhere.

The one time he wanted to bump into him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"What's this I hear about you mentoring, Henry?" Archie appeared beside him, sounding a little annoyed. "If anyone is going to follow your lead out into the field, it should be me. Henry doesn't do outdoors. He doesn't know the first thing about crime scenes. Do you really want him working out in the field with you guys? He's afraid of everything."

"I don't know what you've been told, but I'm not mentoring anybody." Greg grabbed an extra mug for him, filling it with his delicious nectar. "Henry said I was like a role model, but he never said he wanted to get out into the field. He's broadening his field of expertise, but he doesn't want to leave the lab."

"Hodges said you're mentoring him to follow in your footsteps."

"And you believed him?" Greg smirked, rolling his eyes at the man. "You should know by now that Hodges twists everything around. He doesn't know how to tell the truth."

"Oh... yeah," Archie spoke softly, putting his back to the counter. "Sorry. I guess I kinda over reacted." He sighed softly, watching the other man absently stirring his coffee. "So uh... Greg, you've always been a great friend to me. Remember that recording that Nick left while he was in the coffin? Well, he said some stuff... some things about you. Some stuff that you really should know. Grissom told me to keep a lid on it... but I think you deserve to know the truth."

Greg sensed what was on it, but he still wanted to hear it. If Nick had died down there, this probably would have been the only way he would have ever found about their child. He followed Archie back to his lab, watching the younger man fishing out Nick's confession tape. He grabbed himself a set of headphones, sitting himself down on one of the chairs to listen to it.

Archie hit play, leaving him alone to listen to the Texan's confession.

 _"My name is Nick Stokes."_

He heard the emotion in his voice right away, falling in love with him all over again.

 _"I'm a CSI at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. If anybody finds this tape... turn it into the Las Vegas Police Department. There should be a reward. Mom.. Cisco... well, this is a lousy way to say goodbye, but it's all I've got. I love you both. Cisco... I know we've had our differences in the past... but I want you to know that you raised me right... and I miss you. Dad... I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I couldn't be the son you always wanted. I tried my best... I tried so hard to be everythin' that you asked of me... I wish I could have been normal for you..."_

Greg gritted his teeth together, hating Judge Stokes even more. He never exactly liked the guy, but now he had a seething hatred for him. How could he do this to his own son?

 _"As for the rest of you guys... I know you did the best you could to find me. Don't blame yourselves for this... it's not any of your faults. Grissom... I never meant to disappoint you. Warrick... you've always been the best friend I ever had. I know you're probably beatin' yourself up over this... goin' frantic over that stupid coin toss... but I want you to know... it's not your fault. I don't blame you for... this. Evan... I... I'm sorry... my baby boy..."_

Listening to the sniffles coming from the love of his life, Greg started to tear up himself, regretting everything he had said to him the other night.

 _"Every day you make me proud. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you, but I want you to know... that I... one four three forever."_

Leaning forwards, Greg hit rewind, running the tape back a little, so he could listen to that part again.

 _"One four three forever."_

He felt tingles running down his spine, goose bumps forming on his arms as he heard Nick use their familiar term of endearment towards their child. He replayed it again and again, holding the headphones tighter over his ears, listening to the desperate man's voice breaking as he said his farewells to the people he loved.

 _"One four three forever... I wish that I could be there to see you grow up... but I know that you're gonna make me proud. Whatever you do... I'll always be with you. Gr-eg... Greg, I miss you so much. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you... I never stopped... I tried... but you've always been the one. I missed you so much. Evan... he's..."_

He heard the longest pause, followed by a few sharp breaths from Nick's lips.

 _"He's all I have left of you. All I had to hold onto. I couldn't even face the truth and tell him. I couldn't even tell you. Evan... he's yours. He's your son."_

Greg knocked the headphones off his head, wondering how he would have handled that little piece of news if he heard it straight from the tape, rather the rumours from the lab. It wasn't exactly easy hearing it from Nick, especially after he got all sorts of ideas into his head about the man cheating on him with a woman. It might have been easier to handle if he had just heard it right from Nick all along, but he still had no idea what he was supposed to do about this whole situation.

"Do you need a minute?" Archie poked his head back into the lab, making sure he had finished listening to it, before he made his way over to him. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this." He sat himself down beside him, reaching out for Greg's hand. "I'm still trying to figure out exactly how Nick managed to..."

"I know." Greg cut him off, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I mean, I already knew. I've known for about a week or so now."

"You have?" Archie gave him a surprised look, running his tongue across his teeth as he watched Greg processing what he had just heard. "I guess he told you then. That would certainly explain why you've been avoiding each other. Do you know what you're going to do?"

Shaking his head, Greg looked down at their hands, watching Archie's fingers weaving between his own. He quickly pulled his hand away to unlace them, feeling as though the act could be considered cheating if Nick saw them, even if they were only friends.

"No... I don't know what to do. I don't even know what I'm supposed to feel. It's not as though this has ever happened to me before."

"How did he do it?" Archie queried. "The baby I mean."

"It's a long story and I'm sure he kept it from everybody for a good reason." Greg pushed himself to his feet, realising he should get back to work. "I have to go... thank you, Archie. It means a lot that you showed me this."

"Wait, Greg." Archie caught his arm, stopping him from walking out the door. "If you need somebody to talk to... I'm always here for you. I mean that."

"Thank you." Greg finally spotted the man in question making his way through the lab. He looked awful. Delicious, but awful. His eyes were darker, indicating he had even less sleep than normal last night. His clothes were wrinkled. His skin looked a little pasty. His hair hadn't even been brushed, but he was so still adorable. He was the only man on the planet who could still look good, even on his worst day.

And Greg loved him completely.

"Greg," Judy shuffled towards him, blocking his view of the older man. "You have a visitor and Mr Grissom said could you join them down in the station as soon as you get a chance?"

"Sure, thanks." Greg made his way over to the front desk, smiling widely as he saw the familiar face. "Grangela, what are you doing here? You know you're supposed to call first, so I can pick you up." He gently hugged the woman, trying to remember the last she visited him at work. He couldn't remember her ever visiting him at work. She usually called him during working hours, but she was always too busy in Florida for a fly by visit.

"Well, when your mother told me what was going on, I decided that I had to be here to support you too." His Grandmother held him close a moment, before she pulled back to look into his eyes. "When my son had you and made me a Grandmother, that was scary enough. I still had a sixteen year old and a nine year old, expected to be a Grandmother to a whole new life. But now my grandbaby has gone and made me a Great Grandmother and I don't know anything about him."

"That makes two of us." Greg gave her a slight smile. "Did you just land?"

"Yes, your father picked me up a few hours ago, he's waiting outside. We're double parked. Was that him?" She changed the subject, noticing a man that looked very familiar making his way through the lab. "That's Nick, isn't it?"

"Grangela, please don't." He had to hold her back, stopping her from pouncing the man. "It's not his fault."

"How can you defend him? He's taken a child from you."

"I'm not... I just," Greg led her away from the main traffic of the lab, knowing how much they loved gossip. He didn't want any of them getting hold of this, no matter how much he wanted to be with Nick out in the open for once, rather than always having to hide away in the shadows as if they were doing something wrong. "I love Nick. I left him because he wanted the life that everyone is supposed to dream about having. Marriage, kids, white picket fenced fairytale house with the family dog and thanksgiving with the in laws. I left him, because I didn't want any of that. It's no wonder that he didn't tell me about the kid really. It's my own fault. If Granddad left you like that, would you tell him about the child you conceived together?"

"Is he blaming you for this? You didn't know. How could you have known?"

"It doesn't matter. I have to take some responsibility here. I told him outright that I never wanted kids. I let him down, so he turned to them. He was only doing what his parents have always taught him to do. It's not his fault." Greg came to realise it himself, still mad that Nick could trust his father over him. "So please, please don't say anything to him." He begged the woman.

His Grandmother gently took his hand in her own, giving him a reassuring smile. "Of course, sweetheart. I won't say a word to him. But I would like to take a peek at my Great Grandbaby while I'm here, if that's alright. I better dash. I don't want your father getting a ticket outside the CSI building. I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too." He gave her another quick hug, making sure that she left the lab, before he turned around. He watched Nick making his way through the lab, briefly talking to a few lab techs along the way, before he made his way into the break room, reminding Greg that he had left his coffee behind, giving him the perfect excuse to join him.

Nick glanced round as the door opened, managing a brief smile, before he made a move for the door himself.

"Do we really have to run from the sight of each other?" Greg put his arm up against the doorframe, blocking his exit. "We can be in the same room as each other, right? We used to be friends."

"I was actually just gonna..." Nick tried to think of an excuse, but Greg knew him too well. None of the excuses he could think of made any sense and Greg could always tell when he was lying. "I just figured that you wouldn't exactly want me around. I was just tryin' to give you space."

"Wait... about what I said," Greg stood in his way again, trying to remember it word for word. "I didn't mean..."

"I get it." He shook his head, taking a step away from Greg. "You don't have to apologise. If the situation were reversed, I don't think I could stand to be around..."

"I don't want you out of my life, Nick." The younger man blurted it right out. "Not completely. I just... I want things back the way they were. I know it's my fault that we broke up in the first place. I don't even know why I said that."

"Because I hurt you."

Nodding his head, Greg anxiously ran his fingers through his hair, realising that Nick really did understand. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, breathing in a deep breath, before he lifted his gaze to meet Nick's. "Yeah, you did. I didn't think you could ever make me feel this way. I came back because I wanted to be with you." He confessed, watching Nick's eyes perking up a little. "Almost losing you like that made me realise how much I missed you and how much I wanted to be with you. This... it hurts that you could lie to me like that, but it doesn't change anything. I still..."

"Greg, you don't have to..."

"I know that keeping Evan from me... that wasn't your decision, but you still went along with it." Greg cut him off, taking a step closer to him. "It hurts that you could choose your father over me, but I get it. I want to forgive you... I don't know if I can... but I want to for Evan. Can we just start fresh? A clean slate or something. One way or another, we have to make this work. We're both pretty much stuck with each other for the rest of our lives... for Evan... not that it's all bad. You're just trying to do what's best for Evan. I get that. But you're not his only parent anymore."

Nick nodded his head, not sure if he was relieved or terrified that Greg was on board.

"Speaking of, what did you two do today?"

Nick pursed his lips together a moment, realising that the younger man was generally interested, rather than just making small talk. "Well with the rain we had yesterday, we decided to hold off on takin' the bike stabilisers off. We went to the Aquarium instead, he loves the sharks. He went there for a birthday party when he was three, we've been goin' back ever since. Oh and my Mama flew in for a surprise visit. She's left my Dad."

"Seriously?" Greg found that hard to believe. "Why?"

"She didn't exactly go into it, but they kinda had a big fight at thanksgivin'... because of me." He confessed, grabbing the door as Greg lowered his arm. "I have to get back to work. Catherine's probably waitin' for me."

"Uh... one more thing." Greg put his back to the door, pushing it shut. "Um... my folks are kinda in town too. I told them about, Evan. My Mom actually took it better than my Dad. She practically dragged him here to be closer... and they'd really like to meet him... if it's not too sudden and if it's alright with you... and Evan." He added, gulping softly as he continued to look into the man's eyes. "They're going back on Monday, so is there anyway..."

"Yeah, sure. It's fine by me." Nick nodded his head, gulping softly at the thought of Jean finding out that he had kept something like this from her. "Catherine's mother, Lily is watchin' him over Cath's house tonight. I'm pickin' him up after my shift. You can come with me if you want."

"Okay." He finally stepped aside from the door, letting him pass. "For the record, your parents breaking up has nothing to do with you. That's been a long time coming. If they dare try to blame it on you, I might just have to stick them both six feet underground somewhere."

Confused by the mixed messages Greg had been giving him lately, all Nick could do was nod as he made his way out of the room. He took the stairs out of the lab, finding Catherine waiting for her coffee on the curb.

"Thank you, Nicky." She shivered from the cold of the night, motioning him towards the police car pulling up outside the station. "This must be him. You know you're getting old when rapists start looking younger. What is he, like fourteen years old?"

"Sixteen." Nick corrected her. "Trey York, he'll be seventeen next month. Father's a lawyer, mother has been out of the picture since he was about five years old. He's on his High schools basketball team."

"Do you know him or something?" Catherine gave the man a curious look.

"No." He shook his head, following her lead towards the station. "At the hospital, our vic Amber mentioned that she met him after he messaged her on Facebook. I checked out his profile. Tons of photos of girls on there. I already got Archie lookin' into it."

"Sixteen and he's already treating women like dirt. I hope you didn't treat girls like this when you were his age."

"I didn't date girls at his age." Nick let it slip, feeling his cheeks flushing as she turned to look at him. He tried to think of an explanation that made sense, quickly blurting out, "My parents didn't let me date."

"Bummer. My mother was strict, but she couldn't keep me in check at that age. I didn't mean to be such a rebellious daughter. I just wanted to explore what was out there, rather than following a long list of what I thought were stupid rules. I'm terrified of Lindsey following in my footsteps though and of course my mother will say I only have myself to blame." Catherine sipped her coffee, making her way into the station. She waved to Detective Vartann across the room, leading the way towards the interrogation rooms in the back. "Hey Jim, that our guy?"

"Yeah, he's a real charmer. Good luck." Brass smirked, opening the door for them. "This is Graveyard shift's assistant supervisor, Catherine Willows and CSI Nicky Stokes, they need to ask you a couple of questions. This is Trey York and his lawyer, Miss Peters from his father's law firm. Daddy's a little busy with work, so he sent her instead."

The young lawyer dropped her jaw, looking applauded by his statement. "Captain Brass, if you are questioning my ability..."

"Oh no, I was just filling the CSIs in on your situation." Brass cut her off, pulling out a chair for himself. "Trey's father called ahead and said he didn't want to waste his time with us, so he sent Miss Peters to fill in for him. So Trey, let's start with an easy question. Why did you run when we pulled up at your school earlier?"

The teenager folded his arms across his chest, buttoning his lips as he leant back in his seat.

Catherine sighed softly, realising this was going to be a long night. She sat herself down beside the Captain, setting her coffee down in front of her, before she got started on questioning their prime suspect in their gang rape case.

When the boy finally started talking, all he wanted to talk about was his father, really starting to hit home for Nick, especially now that his mother was back in town.

* * *

 **Sorry about the wait, I've had a hectic month. Hopefully these next 2 chapters will make up for the wait though. Please let me know what you thought and enjoy the rest of your week.**

 **Happy Halloween!**

 **~ Holly**


	21. Chapter 20 - Compulsive Liar

**Chapter Twenty - Compulsive Liar**

 _"He's thirty years old and he's never had a serious relationship. You don't think that's of any concern to us? I don't think I treated him any differently to you lot, so it doesn't make any sense." Jillian Stokes set out the cutlery for their traditional family thanksgiving dinner, noticing the time on her watch. She heard a car pulling into the driveway, smiling to herself as her youngest had finally arrived. "I'm just saying, after a certain point the clock starts ticking. If he doesn't find himself a nice girl soon, he may never find one."_

 _"Please Mama, men don't have clocks." Her daughter, Gwen couldn't help but laugh, following her mother to the door. "Men can still date in their sixties and seventies these days; no one cares how old men get. It's just us women who dry up and become un-dateable after a certain age. Men have it easy."_

 _"I just don't understand why he hasn't found anyone yet." She ignored her daughter's complaints. "He's a sweet, loving man. He's always wanted children of his own. What's he waitin' for?" Jillian pulled the front door open, waving to her son as he pulled the rental car to a stop. She paused as she noticed a young man sat in the passenger seat beside him, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. "Who the hell is that?"_

 _"Mama." Gwen hissed at the woman, waving to her younger brother. "Probably just a friend... c'mon," She dragged her mother out of the door by her arm. "Hey, Nicky. You look so tanned." She grinned widely, putting her arms around her brother's shoulders for a quick hug. "Who's this?"_

 _"Eh... this is... is..."_

 _"Greg." The younger man introduced himself, wondering if Nick was really ready for this. He didn't mean to pressure him into doing something like this so soon into their relationship; he just wanted some acknowledgement that they were in a relationship and not just friends._

 _"Hi, Greg." Gwen shook the polite young man's hand, wondering exactly how old he was. Early twenties she'd wager, wondering if her brother got himself a beautiful young man to keep his youth. "I'm Gwen, Nicky's big sister. Not the oldest mind you. It's nice to finally meet you. Nick is always talking about everyone he works with, but we've never met any of you... before now at least."_

 _"This is Greg's first time in Texas." Nick gained the confidence to speak, fishing their bags out from the back of his car. "His folks were goin' away this year's thanksgivin', so I invited him to spend it with us, so he wouldn't have to spend it alone."_

 _"First time, aye?" Gwen smiled at the young man. "Perhaps Nicky can show you around later. It's a shame it's not quite cold enough for snow at the moment. Everything looks beautiful in the snow and it always makes it feel cosier, especially around the holidays. Where are you from?"_

 _"California, originally." Greg took his bag off Nick's hands, feeling a spark of electricity as their fingers touched. He gave the man a smile to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, trying to remember the last time he had been this quiet. "My Mom's family are Norwegian and my Dad's parents moved to California from Oklahoma after they got married."_

 _"Oklahoma, really?" Gwen didn't see that in his features. "You must take after your mother. Have you ever been to Oklahoma?"_

 _"No never, my grandparents live in Florida now, so we've never had a reason to go back there."_

 _"Oh, so this must be a big change of scenery for you. Mama, this is Nicky's colleague, Greg. From the lab." Gwen called her mother over to them, wondering why she hadn't come over already. "I bet you've never had a big Texan thanksgiving before. All the family is coming in too, so I hope you're not afraid of a lot of people." She gave him a big Texan grin, tapping her little brother on the shoulder. "I've gotta go check on the kids. We'll catch up later, okay?"_

 _"Okay." Nick nodded to his sister, gulping softly as he made his way over to his mother. "Hey, Mama." He gave her a gentle hug. "This is Greg Sanders, from the lab. I hope its okay that I brought him..."_

 _"Oh... sure... the more the merrier." Jillian plastered her best grin across her lips, extending her hand towards the much younger man, wondering if he had even graduated from High school yet. "It's lovely to finally meet you. I feel like I know y'all already, Nick talks about you lot from the lab so much."_

 _"Nick's told me a lot about you too, especially your home cooking."_

 _"Well, I hope my food lives up to my reputation. Please, c'mon inside." Jillian led the way, wondering where she was supposed to put the young man for the night. All the rooms were double booked with relatives as it was. The only one available was Nick's childhood room, but she didn't want to stick them in the same room together and tempt fate. "This is the front room and dining area. We usually seat all the kids in the front room. We're in the process of moving the other table through to fit everyone around the table. The kitchen is a little messy at the moment. The family room is through there. Nick's father's office is just off the stairs, but no one is allowed in there but the Judge."_

 _"Hey, little brother." An older man clapped Nick over the shoulder, bringing him in for a hug. "I was wonderin' when you were goin' to show up. Hey, I've got somebody I want you to meet." He dragged him away before he could protest, introducing him to yet another woman that he had no interest in._

 _"Oh, I know," Jillian had a sudden idea, leading Greg into the family room. "This sofa doubles as a pull out. I'll tell the children to keep out of here, so you can have your own space. There's a bathroom just across the hall. It only has a tub though, so if you would like a shower, you'll have to go upstairs. The boys bathroom has the best water pressure. It's the one to the left of the stairs. The girl's bathroom is the other end of the hall. We had to install two sinks and a large mirror to stop them from squabbling. It's not much, but it should be comfortable enough."_

 _"Thank you, Mrs Stokes." Greg gave her a smile, sensing she was nervous from the way she was talking. "You have a beautiful home. Are these all of your kids?" He motioned towards the wall completely covered from floor to ceiling with photos. Unlike the ones at his house, they were all of different children, rather than just him._

 _"Yes." Jillian stepped up to the wall. "There's three generations on this wall. This ranch used to belong to my husband's Great Grandparents. That's his father there." She pointed to a black and white photograph of a man that almost had the same bone structure as Nick. "There's Bill and I on our wedding day." She paused a moment, reliving the old memory. "There's our first child, Lillian. This photo here was taken right after she started walking for the first time. She tried crawling for one day, but she decided that walking was more fun. Nick was just the same. He mastered crawling then got up and started walking. He was always in such a rush to grow up and explore the world."_

 _Greg smiled slightly, looking at the picture of the chubby looking toddler._

 _"When Lillian was two, we had our first boy. He was the biggest baby. After Billy we had the twins, Veronica and Victoria. My husband's idea to name them that. I wanted something more exotic like Dominique and Antoinette since they were conceived during our family trip to Paris, but he won the vote. Ronnie was a monstrous little baby. She started climbing out of her crib at ten months and Vicki; she was always coming down with this, that and the other. She liked to keep us on our toes."_

 _Jillian smiled, checking to make sure that he was still listening, before she moved onto another section of the wall._

 _"Then we had Gwendolyn, who you just met outside. She was born a little premature... my fault. The doctors said to rest, but I couldn't just sit around and do nothing. I had four small children and a ranch to take care of. She was in hospital for the longest three months of our lives. She never made a peep those first three months in the hospital. She couldn't with all the tubes they put down her throat, but when we finally got to bring her home, she sure made up for that. She's still the noisiest of all my children."_

 _The woman brushed her finger across the photo, wishing all her children could be that small again. She gave Greg a smile, moving onto the last two._

 _"When Gwen turned three, we got pregnant with twins again. We were hoping for two boys, but we got two girls." She dusted the old photo, lingering over it a lot longer than she did the others. "Monica and Mackayla. They were born two minutes apart by c-section. They were so different from the moment they were born. Mackayla squealed and squirmed when anyone picked her up, but Monica loved the attention. She was only with us for two days, but she showed us so much of her personality."_

 _"I'm sorry, Mrs Stokes. I didn't know." He gritted his teeth together, wondering why Nick had never mentioned the fact that he had a sister who died._

 _"No, no, it's alright." Jillian gently tapped his hand, giving the nice young man a smile. "You weren't to know. We never talked about her much with the children, so it's not surprising that you didn't know. We didn't want the children to grow up mourning the loss of a sister they never knew. It didn't seem fair on them. She's not forgotten though."_

 _She quickly moved onto the next photo, before her tears started to flow._

 _"When our Kayla turned one, we found out that we were pregnant with Nicky. He was our little miracle baby. He was so much like Lillian, our first. He rarely ever cried. He didn't really talk until he was almost three. His sisters would always speak for him. They'd say Mama, Nicky wants more juice. Mama, Nicky doesn't like that shirt... I guess being the youngest; he never got a word in with this lot around." She smiled at the memory. "He's always been such a sweet, loving boy."_

 _Greg nodded in agreement. "He always has a lot of empathy for the people we deal with on cases. He's always there for everyone on the team too. I don't know how he always manages to stay so strong for everyone."_

 _"Sounds like my Nicky." She gave the younger man a smile, starting to like him already. "Truth be told, I've been a little worried about him these past few years. He's never liked being on his own, so it surprised us when he moved all the way over to Las Vegas where he didn't know anyone. I'm glad he has friends like you in his life though. He needs caring people around him. There were a few during Highschool who took advantage of his kindness."_

 _"What exactly is wrong with her?" They overheard Billy yelling out in the hall. "If you keep bein' so picky, you're goin' to end up all alone, Nicky. Robyn's a knock out, man. If I wasn't married already, I'd go for her myself."_

 _"Did it ever occur to you that I might actually be in a relationship already?" Nick asked his brother, eager to return to Greg. "Hey Mama, can I show Greg around now? How long have we got until dinner?"_

 _"Um... about half an hour." Jillian checked the time on her watch. "Are you?" She asked, putting him on the spot. "Are you seeing someone? Why didn't you bring her with you?"_

 _Nick glanced at the younger man stood beside her, wishing he could just tell her. "It doesn't matter if I am or not. Why does everyone assume that I'm not and try to set me up with random strangers? I am capable of datin' on my own, you know."_

 _"You never bring anyone home with you. You never mention anyone that you're dating. What are we supposed to think?" His mother asked him, just as her husband poked his head into the room. "Bill, Nick brought one of his work colleagues home with him. This is Greg... sorry; I didn't get your last name."_

 _"Sanders." Greg stepped forwards to shake the man's hand, wondering how naive these people were._

 _"Oh right, the DNA technician." The Judge recalled where he had heard the name before. "I have to admit, you're a lot younger than I was expectin'. The way Nicky talks about you, I pictured a much older man, like that supervisor of yours. Your parents must be proud of you, one step away from runnin' the place with your brains."_

 _Greg smiled at the man, watching Nick blushing out the corner of his eyes. He thought they seemed pretty nice, not quite the monsters he had been picturing after Nick's explanation of them, but he had only known them for five minutes._

 _He followed Nick out to the ranch after meeting the rest of the family, sensing how uncomfortable he was already._

 _"They don't seem that bad." He spoke softly. "When are you going to tell them?"_

 _"You want me to blurt it out right there and then that I'm gay and my co-worker is actually my boyfriend?" Nick walked on ahead of him for a bit, stopping against the fence. "It's easy for you. You tell your folks I'm your boyfriend and they don't think anythin' of it. They congratulate you for it. I tell my folks, they'll have me locked up in a mental institute or somethin'." He dropped his head into his hands, running his fingers back through his hair. "I know, I have to tell them. If I ever want to marry you one day, I have to tell them."_

 _"You want to marry me?" Greg put his back to the fence, giving him a surprised look._

 _Nick returned his question with a smile, realising he had said that out loud. "Does it really sound that horrible, G? We've been datin' what... two, three years now. That's the longest relationship I've ever been in my entire life and my father always used to tell me that when you find the one, you go the extra mile for them. I brought you home to see my folks."_

 _"Without actually telling them that I was coming or who I really am to you. As far as they know, I'm just your colleague from the lab." Greg pointed out to him, giving him a slight smile. "I just... I didn't know you were that serious about me."_

 _"One four three forever, G." Nick glanced around to make sure no one was looking, before he reached out for the younger man's hand for a moment. "I mean it."_

 _"Don't you think you should tell them the truth about me, before you go making big future plans like that? They might be a little surprised to show up on your wedding day and find me waiting for you on the aisle, rather than Robyn. Does your brother always try to set you up like that?"_

 _"They all do." Nick clung to the fence in front of them. "I'm sick of it. I'm sick of always bein' asked who I'm datin' and never bein' able to answer with Greg. How can they not know? I already told them once before. They must really think that the camp thing worked."_

 _"Nick," Greg gently placed his hand on the older man's shoulder. "I know I've said this to you before and I'm probably starting to sound like a broken record, but how can you expect your parents to be okay with this, if you're not even okay with it? I admit, you've come a long way since we first started dating. But you still can't tell anyone about us. You still can't hold my hand in public or kiss me when other people are around. Do you have any idea how I feel knowing that the word boyfriend makes you cringe? Or how I feel when you won't stay with me for the night because my neighbours might talk. If you're ashamed of who you are..."_

 _"I'm not... ashamed." Nick shook his head, turning to face the house behind them. "I'm not. I want to do those things with you. I'm proud to call you my boyfriend, Greg. The rest of the world doesn't accept people like me. They'd rather see me dead. My folks aren't like yours. They love you no matter what. Mine... you say gay to them, they immediately think of Satan. They'll see me as the enemy or somethin'. I want to tell them. I've just never found the right time or moment to... drop the bomb on them."_

 _"You've been lying to them for years; it's bound to be difficult for them to accept at first. You just have to give them a chance, Nicky. When you tell them, just be prepared for them to see you... differently. My parents already kinda figured it out on their own. Nana Olaf knew too. I had to tell Papa Olaf myself. He sat there for the longest time staring at me, then he said 'this doesn't get you off the hook for great grandchildren.' My Grandma and Granddad were the hard ones. They wouldn't come round, talk to me or look at me for the longest time after I told them. I'm their only grandchild and they were ready to disown me right there and then because of one minor thing about me."_

 _"What changed?" Nick gave him a curious look._

 _"My Dad decided to educate them. It was my Mom's idea, but Dad was the one to talk to them. They're not exactly religious like your parents, they're just old fashioned. Grangela came round first. She even tried to set me up with cute guys she saw on her shopping trips. It hurt when my Granddad couldn't look at me. He always loved me no matter what, but he couldn't even look at me after I told him." Greg confessed, clasping his hands together in front of him. "He finally started speaking to me again when I moved out here. I think Nana Olaf may have said something to him to change his mind, but my relationship with him will never be the same as it was. You have to prepare yourself for that before you tell them."_

 _"I'm glad you're here, G." Nick playfully put his arm around his shoulders, pulling back a moment later in case anyone saw them. "I wish I could change stuff in my head, so I didn't feel so... afraid all the time. Scared of what people will do if they find out about me, about us. I still feel like I'm wrong for wantin' somethin' that makes me happy."_

 _"You're not. The sooner you realise that, the easier it'll be for other people to accept." Greg cautiously placed his hand over Nick's, looking into the man's eyes. "You can't expect the rest of the world to accept you as you are, if you can't even accept yourself. Being gay is such a small part of you; it shouldn't even matter to the people who really care about you."_

 _"I know you're right." He spoke softly, breathing in a few deep breaths. "But I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack or somethin' every time I try to tell them. Then I end up talkin' myself out of it, just to avoid feelin' like that."_

 _"A panic attack, maybe?" Greg suggested, gently squeezing his hand in his own. "It'll pass and you'll see that it wasn't such a big deal after all. What's the worst they can do?"_

 _"You don't know my parents."_

 _"They're your parents. If they love you as much as I do, this won't change how they feel about you."_

 _Lifting his gaze to look at his childhood home, Nick knew the younger man was right, but he still didn't feel as though he was ready. He pushed himself off the fence, breathing in a deep breath as he attempted to take his first step forwards. "C'mon then, we might as well get this dinner over with." He led the way, not so much dreading the meal, but the questions that they would all ask during it._

 _Luckily they managed to keep the topic of conversation to their careers and Greg's parents, leaving out all the sticky details of relationships._

 _When the meal was over, Nick offered to wash up with his mother, while Gwen and Billy helped Greg to setup the pull out in the family room. He knew they were probably going to interrogate him some more, but he really needed to speak to his mother first._

 _"Greg seems very nice." Jillian started the conversation, handing her son a washed plate. "He seems a bit too young to work in a lab. How old is he exactly?"_

 _"Twenty five, he's very capable though." Nick assured her._

 _"Is there something on your mind, sweetheart? You seem quiet, more quiet than usual. You barely said two words at dinner and I don't think I've seen you smile all evening. Is there something wrong? Are you sick or something?"_

 _"No, I'm not sick." He shook his head, setting the clean plate down._

 _"Well... how are things at work?"_

 _"Fine."_

 _"Are you seeing anyone?" She pried further._

 _Nick nodded his head slightly, lifting his gaze to meet hers. "It's... a little complicated though."_

 _"Complicated? How is it complicated?" Jillian handed her son another plate, sucking in a sharp breath suddenly. "You're not dating a married woman or something, are you? I didn't raise you to be some kind of a home wrecker."_

 _"No... It's just complicated," He breathed in a deep breath, overhearing Gwen and Greg laughing from the other room. "This isn't gonna be easy for you... it's not exactly easy for me... but you have to understand that I'm not doin' this to hurt anyone. I've tried to be different. I've tried so hard, but it doesn't work for me."_

 _"What are you talking about, sweetheart?"_

 _"Mama... I'm gay." He blurted it right out, but her features didn't seem to register any emotion. She turned to grab a new plate, seeming as though she was avoiding him, until she handed the scrubbed plate over to him. She didn't give him a chance to grip it though, sending the plate clattering to the ground beneath them._

 _"Don't touch the broken pieces, you'll cut yourself." She fetched the broom from the closet, handing it over to him to sweep up. She helped him pick up every last piece of the broken plate, taking it over to the bin with him, where she decided to hug him._

 _"Mama, I'm sorry." He spoke softly._

 _"Oh don't be," Jillian sniffled into her son's chest. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's not like it's the first time I've heard it. It's just a shock to hear it again, now that you're old enough to know your own mind. I guess I've always known. I just... didn't want to believe it." She pulled back to look into his eyes. "I wasn't born yesterday, Nicholas. You kids always think you can hide stuff from me, but you're all still my flesh and blood. You only have to look at you and your brother to see how different you are. I never said anything, because I didn't want you to be. I'm sorry that I haven't stood up for you more in front of your father. I just thought... he could change you, so you wouldn't have to live like this. This is no way of life, you have to know that. You're not wrong, homosexuality is. You have to fight it. You can't give in. Maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet."_

 _For a moment there, Nick thought that she was going to accept him, but she suddenly made him feel worse. "Mama, I'm not into women." He wished for once she would just listen to him. "I never have been."_

 _"But you always told us about your girlfriends."_

 _"I made them up." Nick admitted to his lie. "I couldn't tell you the truth, so when you kept askin'... I didn't have anythin' to tell you, so I made them up."_

 _"You made them up?" She placed one hand over her chest, horrified by the fact he had lied to her. "All of them? The Christian girl that you met at that conference?"_

 _"Yeah." Nick nodded his head._

 _"The brunette councillor that you had dinner with the night of our anniversary."_

 _"I was with Greg's folks." Nick anxiously scratched his head, watching his mother trying to process the information. "You knew I was gay, I told you from the start. You didn't want to know what I was doin', so I didn't tell you. Didn't you ever wonder why you never met any of these women that I told you about?"_

 _"You broke up with them before we could." Jillian realised that was a lie too. "They never even existed, did they?" She rolled her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "How could I be so gullible? How could I have missed something like this?"_

 _"Because you didn't want to know, Mama, so I just let you hear what you needed to." He gritted his teeth together, feeling guilty as he saw the look in her eyes. "I never meant to lie. I just told you what you wanted to hear, so you would stop worryin' about me."_

 _"What did we do wrong?" She searched his face for answers, but she barely recognised him anymore._

 _"You didn't do anythin' wrong. This is just... how I am. The real me."_

 _"You've been lying to us for years. You've been hiding your life away as if we're not worthy enough to know what's going on with you. How can you not trust your own parents? Oh," She heard Gwen and Greg laughing from the other room. "That's why you brought him here, isn't it? He's the one that you're seeing?" Jillian returned to the sink, gripping the counter to stabilise herself. "You could have given us some warning. We could have stuck him in a hotel or something."_

 _"I love him." Nick rejoined her at the counter. "He's here because I wanted you to know the man I love. I love him more than anythin' in the world. These past three years, I've finally felt normal... happy. I think he might be the one. I want to marry him, start a family with him. If you can't accept him or me..."_

 _"I didn't say that." Jillian wiped away the tears from her eyes, looking at her son beside her._

 _"Why do I have to hide him away then? You wouldn't stick Gwen's boyfriend in a hotel somewhere. Every single one of Billy's girlfriends has been completely welcome to sit at the dinner table. Why does my boyfriend have to be shunned away?"_

 _"I never said that." She spoke softly, feeling her heart racing in her chest. "You want to start a family? I always knew that you wanted children, but how can you expect to bring a child into a relationship like that? What are you going to tell your children, that Greg's their uncle who lives with you?"_

 _"No, Greg will be their father too." He watched his mother cringing, wishing he had never started this conversation with her. "We'll be their parents, raisin' them together. See, this is why I've never told you. I fudge the truth to avoid that look." He pointed out her expression. "Last Christmas when I told you that I was swamped with work, I was with Greg and his parents in California. His mother is amazin'. She supports Greg with whatever he does. His parents have known about me since the beginnin' of our relationship. They don't shun us away or refuse to speak about our relationship, because they can see how much we love each other."_

 _"You were with his parents?" Jillian folded her arms across her chest, a hurt look on her face. "I have the right to know what's going on in your life, Nicholas. You're still my child, no matter how old you get, you're still my son. How could you lie to me about something like this?"_

 _"Because tellin' the truth means losin' your love." He blurted it right out._

 _His mother grabbed another dish, dunking it into her water. She gave it a quick scrub, handing it over to her son. "Do you know what my mother always used to say to me? Accept the things you can't change and change the things you can. You are my son, no matter what. I love you for all that you are. I always knew that there was something different about you. You've always been more sensitive and loving than your brother. You don't take after your father at all. You're like me and your sisters. You have some of your grandfather in you from my side, but you've always been more like me than anyone else. Now... I don't feel as though I know who you are."_

 _"I'm still the same person, Mama."_

 _The woman shook her head, wiping her eyes again. "I didn't raise a liar. You've been lying to us for years. Who knows what else you've been keeping from us."_

 _"Not on purpose." He breathed in a deep breath, stopping himself from bursting into tears. "I was scared... of how you'd look at me, what Dad would do to me. When you sent me to that camp, you made me feel... like I was so wrong. You excluded me from the family for lovin' someone, for bein' different."_

 _"That was never our intention. We just wanted you to be... more like your brother. Do you really think High school would have been easy for you if we ignored what you told us and pretended that everything was going to be alright?"_

 _"You never thought about me in your decision to send me to that place. You've only ever thought about how it would affect you."_

 _"That is not true." His mother spoke softly, but firmly. "Are you telling other people?"_

 _"Kayla... knows already." Nick spoke softly, gulping as her eyes became a little wider. "I'm not sure if Gwen knows. I want to tell them though. I want them to know who Greg is to me."_

 _"Oh sweetheart, I wish for your sake that the world could work like that. But it doesn't. I'm asking you for my sake." Jillian grabbed hold of his hand, looking into his eyes."Please don't tell anyone about this, not your father, not your sisters and not your brother. Just for a little while, until you're sure."_

 _"Mama, I've been with Greg for three years. I've never been surer of anythin' in my life."_

 _"But if you tell them, nothing will ever be the same again. You don't live here with us anymore. Your life isn't here anymore. You get to leave it all behind, leaving the rest of us behind to pick up the pieces of your mess. I love you, Nicholas. Nothing in the world will ever change that, but if you tell them, particularly your father, you'll destroy everyone's lives. We're ordinary people. Your father's a Judge. We can't have..."_

 _"You can't have a gay son." Nick sniffled back his tears, giving her a slight nod. "Havin' a gay son would be an embarrassment. I get it. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you." He threw down the towel, escaping to the back garden, where he could breathe again._

* * *

"Anyway, this girl completely flipped out on me," Warrick continued his story, looking across the locker room at Nick staring off into space. He wasn't sure if he was even still listening to him, so he decided to cut his adventurous tale short. "Apparently I used to date the broad and she was pissed to see me out with another woman, wearing a pricy ring on her finger. Tina clocked her right there and then, leaving an imprint of the ring on her cheek. We hightailed it out of there without giving her a tip." He finished fastening his tie, tapping the younger man on the shoulder. "Hey, you still with me, man?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders together, glancing around the room he was in as though he had spaced out or something.

"So what's going on with you, man? We haven't caught up in a while" Warrick pushed the door to his locker shut, missing the banter with his friend now more than ever. He longed to have his old friend back, but he feared that he was lost forever after everything he had been through. "You seein' anyone?"

"I haven't been on a date in six years."

Warrick whistled, looking round at him to make sure he heard him right. "Six years? Wow. Isn't it about time you got back on the horse? What's that since Evan was born or something?"

"Yeah." The younger man spoke softly, feeling the lie burning in his throat. He had become a compulsive liar without even realising it and he didn't know how to get out of this mess he had put himself in. He pushed himself to his feet, nudging the door to his locker to make sure it was shut with a sigh. "I'll see you later."

"Hey Nicky, you don't have to be single forever. You _are_ allowed to move on. I know I didn't know this girl that you had Evan with, but I'm sure she wouldn't want you spending the rest of yours days..."

"There was no girl." Nick stopped him there, putting his back to the locker room door. "There was never any girl. I made it up."

"Why?" Warrick gave him a confused look.

"Because... the truth was too hard to say out loud, so I told y'all a lie." The Texan finally confessed his biggest sin to the man, sick of hearing the stupid lie that he had been forced to tell for so long. He felt his hands starting to tremble at his sides, deciding to fight through it, rather than holding back any longer. "Evan... doesn't have a mother. He never did. I was the one who gave birth to him. Me."

"What?" The other man looked even more confused.

"Evan... I carried him. He grew inside me." Nick felt his tears streaming down his face, relieved that his secret was finally out. "Remember when I collapsed on the job, chasin' after that suspect with Sara? She rode with me to the hospital. I told... I told you guys that I had my appendix out."

"Yeah... yeah, I remember." Warrick nodded his head slightly. "You took a couple of weeks off after."

"I never had my appendix out." Nick shook his head, tugging his shirt out from his jeans, showing the man the scar across his abdomen. "I collapsed because I was bleedin'. I had a placental abruption. They had to perform an emergency c-section to save Evan's life. I took time off because I wasn't allowed to work or drive after the c-section that I had..."

"Stop talking… please." Warrick cut him off, holding his hand over his forehead. "Why would you lie about something like this? Why would you lie to me? I thought we were friends, brothers." He lifted his gaze to Nick's, looking at him the way his father last looked at him back in Texas.

"I... don't know." The Texan confessed, wiping away his tears with the backs of his hands. "It's the only thing I know how to do. I've ruined every relationship I've ever had. I don't know how to tell the truth. How to be me. Lyin' is the only thing I'm good at."


	22. Chapter 21 - On My Own

**Chapter Twenty One - On My Own**

"I don't know about you, but I am completely exhausted." Catherine crashed against the sofa beside Warrick, sweeping her fingers back through her hair. She brushed the sleep away from beneath her eyes, finally noticing the glum look on her colleagues face. "What's wrong with you? Marriage getting you down already. I wouldn't think Tina would cut off the sex this soon into your marriage."

"What are you going on about?" He glared round at her.

"The look on your face says it all." She playfully tapped him on the shoulder, sighing softly as she pushed herself to her feet. "For us, it was while I was pregnant with Lindsey. We couldn't keep our hands off each other before then. After she was born, I didn't want him anyway near..."

"Cath, over share." Warrick stopped her there, wondering why people kept doing that to him today. Mandy from the print lab kicked off at him about asking for his results, right before she revealed the fact that she was having a heavy flow and she had already soaked right through her good underwear. He didn't want to hear that, but she had no trouble telling him. Then he bumped into Nick in the locker room, who decided that it was suddenly the right time to tell him that there was never any girl in his life and he was the one who carried Evan to term. Now Catherine sharing intimate details about her sex life with him.

What was wrong with people today?

"Sorry." Catherine grinned round at him, shaking the coffee pot in his direction. "Do you want one?"

"No, I need something stronger." He dropped his head into his hands, looking down at the carpet beneath him. "Hey Cath, have you ever... I mean... do you know anything about a condition called intersexed?"

"Yeah, I mean I've heard of it." She shrugged her shoulders together, filling her coffee mug all the way up. "I read somewhere that it's as common as people who have red hair, it's just unheard of because people don't talk about it. Any minor change in hormone levels or the reproductive organs can be classed as intersexed; doctors just refuse to label them like that. They prefer to slap boy or girl on their birth certificates. Why'd you ask?"

Warrick shook his head, leaning back in his seat. "No reason... I just... heard it somewhere." He stared ahead at the table in front of him a moment, before he decided to ask his next question. "Have you... have you ever noticed something different... about Nick?"

"If he wasn't different, he wouldn't be Nick." The woman smirked, raising her coffee mug to her lips. "We're all different; you're going to have to be more specific." She rejoined him on the sofa, giving the man a curious look. "If it's about his behaviour, he's bound to be acting a little different. He was held in a Plexiglas coffin, six feet underground for hours on end. Not to mention the fact that it started to cave in on him and the fire ants." She shuddered at the thought. "It hurts just imagining it. Being buried alive is a horrible way to go. That's gotta do something to a person."

"Yeah." Warrick agreed with her on that one, anxiously brushing his hands across the legs of his jeans. "If we _had_ lost him..."

"We didn't." Catherine stopped him there, placing her hand on his shoulder. "He's still here. He's still our, Nick. He just needs some time to get his bearings. All we can do is be there for him as much as we can."

Warrick nodded slightly, quickly pushing himself to his feet, before he said something he might regret. "I need a drink. You coming?"

"Wish I could." She sighed softly, checking the time on her watch. "I'm still on shift. I've got a mountain of paperwork on my desk, courtesy of our Supervisor. Sometimes I wonder if that man does any work at all. I better go find, Nick. Tell him he can go home now." Catherine pushed herself to her feet, waving goodbye to the man. "Don't overdo it. Happy wife, happy life." She giggled softly, crossing the hall to the last place she saw the Texan.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower after a long shift, Nick wrapped a towel securely around his waist, brushing the cool drips from his face as he made his way towards his locker. He grabbed his discarded gym clothes from the bottom, trying to remember the last time he even wore them. He hadn't been to the gym in nearly six years now. He used to go at least two or three times a week around his busy work schedule, but he valued his time with his son more than going to the gym these days.

Nick pulled on the t-shirt first, realising how much weight he had lost by its loose fit. He never noticed much of a weight gain during his surprise pregnancy, but he could certainly tell now. He pulled his sweatpants on underneath his towel, using it to quickly dry his hair as the door behind him squeaked open.

"Oh... hey, Cath."

"Hey, do you want me to give you a lift back to mine? I'm gonna tuck Lindsey in, before I get started on that mountain of paperwork on my desk." The woman suggested, watching him sitting back on the bench in the middle of the room to fasten his sneakers. "God, I miss sleeping in on Sundays. Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah." Nick nodded his head slightly, pulling his jacket on over his shoulders. "I'll pass on the ride. I have to be somewhere actually. Is it alright if Greg comes by to pick him up?"

"Greg?" Catherine cocked an eyebrow in his direction. "Is he your new babysitter or something?"

"Somethin' like that." He adjusted the collar to his jacket, stuffing the keys into his pocket.

"Scraping the bottom of the barrel there, aren't you?"

"Greg? No, he's alright. He's... different." Nick assured her, sweeping his fingers through his hair. "He's not the same lab tech who used to dance around these halls with a latex glove on his head. He's matured. He has." He defended the younger man. "You've seen him out in the field. He's a grown man now."

"Alright, alright... I'm all aboard the Greg as a grown up train, but still... leaving your child in the care of a man you barely know. Did your trip underground make you insane?"

Nick cracked a smile, shaking his head at her. "I'm not losin' my mind. And I know Greg pretty well. He's not the man you think he is." He spoke softly. "Can you just let your Mom know that Greg's gonna pick him up?"

"Sure." She nodded slightly, folding her arms across her chest. "Where are you off to?"

"I've got some errands to run." He decided to keep her out of the loop, double checking that he had his car keys with him. "Hey Catherine..." He watched her opening up her locker. "If Lindsey told you that she was... hypothetically speakin'... if Lindsey came up to you and told you that she was... you know... gay... what would you do?"

"What do you mean?" She rifled through her bag, looking for her sunglasses.

"If she came to you one day and said... Mom, I'm gay. What would you do? Hypothetically." He quickly added.

Catherine shrugged her shoulders together, trying to imagine her twelve year old daughter as a teenager for a moment. "Well... she's my daughter. Hypothetical or not, that fact never changes. Gay, straight... I wouldn't care, as long as she's happy. I never got why these so called parents would disown a child that they gave birth to just because of who they loved or the fact that they got pregnant before getting married. It doesn't matter what they do with their lives or who they grow up to be, they'll always be your child, no matter what. If you really loved them, you wouldn't be able to disown them, because you love everything about them. You can't pick and choose parts of your child to love. I'll love her unconditionally for the rest of my life."

She rambled a mile a minute, finally laying her hands on her sunglasses.

"Ah, gotcha. I knew they were in here somewhere."

"Thanks, Catherine. I'll see yah tomorrow." Nick made a move for the door.

"Wait..." Catherine stopped the younger CSI in his tracks. "Evan can't have come out to you; he's only six years old. What's all this about?"

"Not Evan... it's just a... hypothetical question."

"Mm hm," She gave him a suspicious look, watching the familiar signs of anxiety in Nick's eyes. "Nick, if you ever need to talk to someone. You know that you can come to me, right? I won't make it official like Grissom. Anything you tell me will be held in the strictest confidence. Just between us."

Nick gave her a slight smile, leaning forwards to hug the woman. "Thank you, Catherine." He whispered against her neck, pulling back a moment later, leaving the confused woman behind in the locker room.

"Hey, Nicky. You off out already?" Sara caught him at the front desk.

"Yeah."

"You don't have to go through this alone, Nick." She leant against the front desk beside him, looking into the man's exhausted eyes. "I know you think you're alone in this because you went through it alone, but we all want to be there for you. You just have to let us be there, rather than shutting us out all the time. It's not because we pity you or feel sorry for you, it's because we're a family and you're a part of that."

"Sara, I'm fine." Nick signed himself out, checking he had his car keys again. "I feel like I've spent the whole shift tellin' people that I'm fine."

"Is it true?" She gave him a quizzical look.

"Yes." He assured her. "Some nights are more difficult than others, but I'm okay. I just wish people would stop treadin' on egg shells around me. The more you guys go on about it, the harder it is to forget what happened." He motioned towards the stairs behind him. "I gotta get goin'. My Mama's back. She's left my father. It looks like it's for good this time."

"Oh... I'm sorry." Sara spoke softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Nick nodded his head, backing away towards the stairs. "It's nice to deal with a real world problem for a change and it's not like I'm a kid anymore. It's just... weird, yah know. As a kid, I never really pictured them bein' apart. They were always together. It's all I've ever known. It feels like it's my fault."

"Why would you think that? I think your parents are old enough to make their own decisions." Sara followed him into the stairwell, giving him a hug that he had been desperate for all day. "It's not your fault." She whispered against his neck, only guessing what was going on in his mind. "Nothing you've done could cause your parents to break up."

"Everythin' I've done has put a rift between them. They shoulda stopped at six kids."

"No they shouldn't have." Sara clutched her pseudo brother tighter. "You had to be born. If you didn't exist, Evan wouldn't exist. Greg probably wouldn't even be here. The team at the lab wouldn't be a family without you. Think of all the good you've done while working here at the lab." She pulled back to look into his eyes, giving him a reassuring smile. "You're a good man, Nick. One of the best. Everything about you is good. You haven't done anything wrong. None of this is your fault."

"You sound like Greg... if Greg were still talkin' to me."

"It'll take time." Sara shrugged her shoulders together, wishing Greg would talk to her, but he still hadn't forgiven her. "Greg has a big heart. We broke it. It'll take time to heal, but he can't hold a grudge forever. He's Greg."

"It's not fair that he's takin' this out on you." Nick took a step back from her, feeling the guilt heavy on his chest. "I'm sorry I got you involved in this."

"I'm not. I was protecting my brother." She playfully ruffled her fingers through his wet hair, giving him a warm smile. "I never had much of a family growing up. You and Evan, you're my family. I love you, Nick. Given the choice again, I'd do exactly the same thing."

"I love you too, Sara." Nick pulled her back into his arms for another hug, closing his eyes against her shoulder. He had always wished his own sisters could live closer to him for more support, never realising before that he had all the support he needed from her.

He eventually pulled back, giving the woman a wave as he took the stairs down. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Nick." Sara stayed put to watch him go, worrying about him even more now. She knew that the only person he would really open up to was Greg, but neither one of them were in his good books at the moment.

* * *

"Mr Stokes. Mr Stokes," Nick's busy body neighbour hurried down her driveway, waving her arm out at him as if he didn't see her blinds twitching as he pulled in. Sixty something year old, Darci Mitchell moved into the house beside his just a few days before he brought Evan home from the hospital for the first time. He first met her in the middle of the night, when he was struggling to settle Evan without the help of the hospital nurses for the first time. She was furious that she had been woken up at two in the morning. She started going on at him about how she came here to retire, not get stuck next to some screaming brat.

He managed to hold his temper, thinking that a long heartfelt apology and some flowers would win her over, but the woman never let it go. Six years later, she was still living beside him and still invading their lives every chance she could. He couldn't take the trash out anymore without seeing her in the front window, spying on his every move.

"Ms Mitchell," He forced his best smile in her direction. "How can I help you?"

"That son of yours." Darci stopped at the end of his drive, curiously looking through the windows of his house as she tightened the floral robe around her waist. "I told him not to kick that ball against my fence panel. I told him repeatedly, but he's gone and done it again. The whole thing is busted right down the middle. It'll have to be replaced."

"Evan doesn't have a football anymore." Nick moved himself in front of her, blocking her view of his kitchen window. "We lost that ball a couple of weeks ago. I believe we knocked on your door to ask for it back, but you hadn't seen it." He recalled.

The woman pursed her lips together, folding her arms across her chest. "He must have kicked it on purpose then."

"I'll have a word with him, but your fence has been fallin' apart for years, Ms Mitchell." He turned on his heels, eager to get inside.

"Your grass needs cutting." She called out to him.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that. Have a nice day, Ms Mitchell." He retrieved his keys from his pocket, jamming them in the lock.

"That boy needs a good clip round the ear."

"Excuse me?" Nick spun around so fast; it made him a little dizzy. He wasn't about to start a fight with an old woman, but he wouldn't tolerate that kind of talk from anyone. He watched the woman glaring at him as she made her way down her own driveway, disappearing inside the house.

He wanted to charge round there and knock some sense into her, but he didn't have the energy.

"Mama?" Nick ditched his keys on the side table, double checking that he locked the front door behind him. He made his way through to the kitchen, finding his mother already awake, going through his kitchen cabinets. He charged towards her, pushing the cupboard door shut, practically snatching the saucepan from her hands. "I asked you not to touch anythin' while I was at work." He politely reminded her.

"I was just sorting things out."

"This is my kitchen, Mama. I like my things in a certain place." He put it back in the cupboard where it belonged, making sure she hadn't moved anything else.

"I was just trying to help."

"I don't want your help. I'm sick of your help!" Nick unintentionally snapped at her, backing away from her before he turned into his father. He gripped the edge of the counter, breathing in deep breath, before he turned to face her again. "I'm sorry."

His mother gave him a smile, motioning towards the kettle. "Can I make you a coffee or something to eat? You must be starving after your shift."

"No... I'm good; I've got a lot to do. My neighbour recons Evan broke her fence."

"You too, huh? She caught me while I was taking out the trash." Jillian filled the kettle with enough water for one, getting herself a clean mug. "If you ask me, that woman needs a hobby. I saw her in the window while I was hanging the laundry out earlier. Just standing there with her arms folded across her chest. Creepy." She shuddered, wiping away the crumbs from the counter. "One thing I miss about the ranch. No neighbours."

"Why did you have to come to me?" He finally decided to ask her.

"After the things your father said, I wanted to be here for you. I was staying with Gwen after you left. You didn't exactly answer any of my calls, Nicholas, so how was I supposed to know how you were doing? You can't avoid my questions in person, so I thought the best thing to do was to fly over while I have the time and see how you and Evan were doing in person."

"Since when did you care about my feelin's?"

"That's not fair, Nicholas." Jillian folded her arms across her chest, looking into his eyes. "I've always cared about your feelings. You still haven't told me where you took Evan last night. I'm here now; I could have taken care of him."

"He's fine where he is. Don't take over." He turned to grab himself a coffee mug, suddenly in dire need of a caffeine fix. "You always do this. You come in and you take over everythin'. You move everythin' around so I can't find anythin' and you always make me out to be some kind of monster, just for followin' my heart." His lower lip started to tremble as his tears began to flow. "Because of you, I lost the love of the only man... the only man I've ever had real feelin's for... Greg was everythin' to me. Because of you, he'll never love me again. Because of you, I'll never feel what's it like to feel completely loved by one person again. Now you're tryin' to blame me for you and Dad."

"When exactly did I excuse you of that?" Jillian looked at him confused. "Don't take your bad day out on me. I took that kind of crap from your father for forty odd years. I won't take it from you." She watched her son sliding down the counter, sitting himself on the floor with his head in his hands. She cautiously bent down to his level, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"Sweetheart, what happened between your father and I had nothing to do with you. It had nothing to do with Greg or Evan either. Your father has been getting on my nerves for the last... twenty years or so. It was different when you were all small. We were closer. We had to be to raise all of you, then you all left and... we had to live alone." Jillian gently brushed her fingers through her son's hair, watching him slowly lifting his head to look into her eyes. "We soon came to realise that we didn't exactly have a relationship left. Your father wasn't exactly the romantic sort. We knew how to come together to raise you kids, but we didn't know how to be... without you in our home."

Nick wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, giving her a curious look. "You never said."

"Talking to your children about your marital problems isn't exactly something that's considered normal. I know your brother is fine with talking about his separation with the kids, but I couldn't do that to all of you. After you left for college... your father, he became very difficult to live with. Weekends off with him, I was tearing my hair out with boredom and annoyance. The man can't walk two feet to put his socks in the laundry hamper. He piles the dishes high in the sink, and then complains that I didn't clean them. You saw the state of the house when we got back for thanksgiving. He doesn't seem to think that he's responsible for anything, because he's the man of the house. He has a very backwards way of thinking... and I'm sick of being treated like a doormat."

Nick thought back to his childhood, remembering his mother practically waiting on the man hand and foot. He wouldn't let any of his children do anything fun until their chores were complete, but he treated his wife like a slave.

"Why did you put up with him for so long?"

"I guess I didn't see him for who he really was when you lot were still in the house. He was your father and my husband. We were destined to be together in order to raise our children. We had to make it work for your sake. When you moved out... I felt as though I was living with a stranger. I had been living with a man I barely knew all this time. Everything he did or didn't do just pushed me further and further over the edge. Why do you think I visit you lot so much? Because I couldn't stand to be alone with him, that's why. It's hard to believe that I really raised seven children with that man. I find out after all this time that I really don't know who he is, except for the fact that he's an arrogant pig."

The prudish woman covered her hand over her mouth, rolling her eyes at herself for saying that out loud.

"Sweetheart, he's still your father. A part of me will always love him for that, but all he's been doing for these past few years is judging, bullying, belittling and manipulating each and every one of you, including me. And all I've done is stand back and watch him do it. I'm ashamed of myself for letting it get this far. Pretending for all these years that I agreed with him, letting him treat you, my child like trash." She brushed her fingers back through her son's hair again, wiping a tear from his cheek. "I love you, Nicholas. I always have and I always will. I don't want to change you or push you into becoming someone that you're not, because you're exactly who you're supposed to be. I wish that I had been the supportive mother that you needed from the start. Being your mother is the greatest job in the world and I can't help but feel that I've..."

"Mama." He reached out for her hand as she started to choke up. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Given the circumstances, I don't think I would be very happy to see me either." She gave him a slight smile, turning to a more serious note. "I've never taken your side. I've never stood up for you or fought for your corner. I've seen what all this lying has done to your brother, Billy. I'm not exactly proud to say that my forty year old son is back home with us, barely seeing his children after the divorce. But it's all the lies he told because of us that got him in this situation in the first place. And your sister, Lillian. She still won't speak to me after your father forced her to tell those lies. Vicki won't talk to your father after his comment about her daughter being diagnosed with autism and I still don't know why Kayla and him fell out."

"Mama, that's not your fault."

"I don't stop him and I don't stick up for any of you, how is that not partly my fault? One by one, I'm losing all of you because of him and his bullying. What's worse is that he doesn't seem to realise that he's doing anything wrong. This is how his father treated him, so he thinks it's perfectly normal." She placed her hand on his, looking into his eyes. "I don't want to lose you and Evan too. Compared to some of your sisters' boyfriends, Greg really wasn't that bad. He was polite, sweet and he seemed to come from a nice family. I liked him. I'm sorry I never gave him a real chance."

"You don't exactly have to worry about makin' it up to him. I think I've already lost him." He wrapped his arms around his knees, feeling his tears running down his cheeks. "He couldn't take the lies. I've told so many over the years, I don't think I'll ever be able to get it straight." Nick smirked, tilting his head back against the cabinet behind him. "He's introducin' Evan to his family today. The way things have been goin' in my life lately... Evan's probably better off with a family who legitimately love each other unconditionally. They don't have to lie or pretend. Greg's parents tell him everythin'. Both sets of grandparents celebrate everythin' Greg does like he's the most amazin' thing that ever happened to them. Evan will be spoiled rotten with attention."

Jillian gulped softly, remembering that she and her husband were less than welcoming over the new baby in their lives. "He's meeting them without you?"

"They won't hurt him, not like I have." Nick picked at his nails. "Greg's family will openly love him, no matter what he does with his life. They won't lie to him or force him to become somethin' he's not. I love him more than anythin', but I'm not what he needs. I know that."

Grabbing her son's hand, Jillian lifted his chin to look into his eyes, trying to understand what he was saying. "You're exactly what he needs. You're his father."

"Greg's his father too. A better one than I could ever be. He'd be better off with him."

"You can't just give him up. Nicholas, this is your son we're talking about."

"I'm not givin' him up." He shook his head slightly. "I'm doin' what's best for him. I've had him for six years. I've lied to him. Kept secrets from him. I didn't even look after him very well when he was growin' inside me. It's in his best interests to be with people who can love him completely, without lyin' to him in the process."

"What you're talking about is abandoning him with these strangers. He doesn't know these people. You can't just hand him off to them. He's your son. You gave birth to him. You sat beside his crib in neonatal all that time, holding his little fingers, feeding him through a tube, watching him fight through everything that they threw at him. How can you abandon your own flesh and blood like this? Does he even know that you've left him or is he going to find out when you don't come back for him?"

"I haven't left him." Nick protested, holding his head in his hands. "If he lives with Greg... I can still see him. I'll always be there for him. I just want him to have a better life. You were the one who wanted to put him up for adoption in the first place. You told me it was in his best interests to be with people who wouldn't have to lie to him. You were right."

"No I wasn't." The woman admitted, shaking her head at him. "He's your child. He should be with you. You've always been there for him. You've always given him all the love he deserves. You've been doing fine on your own. This is just... since the coffin, you haven't been yourself. Your father isn't right about a lot of things, but maybe he's right about the PTSD."

"I don't have PTSD." He rolled his head back. "I'm fine."

"Really?" His mother scoffed. "Is that why Gwen had to dose you with sleeping pills to get you to sleep last weekend? You barely sleep at all. When you do, you wake up sweating and shaking. You're angry and agitated all the time. Even your son has noticed the change in your behaviour. What happened to the number that Billy gave you?"

"Mama, I don't need a shrink." Nick sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He wished people would just get off his case and let him live his own life.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you promise Evan that things were going to better when you got back?"

"They will be. If he's with Greg." Crawling past his mother, Nick pushed himself to his feet, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm not talkin' about abandonin' him. I want him to spend some more time with Greg to ease him into it."

"Ease him into being abandoned?"

"No. I want him to get to know Greg. I want him to be with someone who can make him happy. Someone who won't lie to him or have to hide who they are from him. If you don't get that... maybe it's better if you stay at a hotel, Mama." He sighed softly, feeling even more exhausted now. "I can pay for it. No arguments," He stopped her, before she could open her mouth. "This is my decision. He's my son. I want to do what's best for him. And Greg bein' in his life is what's best for him. I'm not abandonin' him. I'll always be there for him, but he's better off bein' with Greg and his family. Now please, just drop it."

Nick turned and walked away before she could stop him, jumping straight in the shower. He dropped the temperature of the water until it was the coldest it would go, wincing as the first icicle hit his back. He closed his eyes standing under the spray of ice cold water, gripping the rail in front of him as his whole body started to tremble.

As the pain started to set in deep under his skin, Nick traced his fingertips across the scar on his abdomen, letting out his first tear.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy the rest of your week!**

 **~ Holly**


	23. Chapter 22 - First Date Nerves

**Chapter Twenty Two - First Date Nerves**

Fixing her hair in the bathroom mirror with another bobby pin, Jean Sanders turned her head to the side, breathing in a nervous deep breath as she straightened her blouse. She stepped out into the hotel room where her husband was sat on the end of his bed, flicking through messages from work on his phone. She glanced towards her open closet, looking at her peacock coloured blouse sticking out. She brought it because she loved the colour, but she feared it would scare off her new grandchild.

"Do you like the white one?" She finally asked for her husband's opinion.

The man grabbed a quick shower as soon as he woke up this morning, dressing himself in a pair of plain jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. No effort required. He was ready to meet their grandchild.

Daniel briefly glanced away from his phone, giving her a slight nod. "It's fine."

"Daniel, we're meeting our grandchild for the first time in less than an hour. I don't want to look fine."

Her husband gave her a confused look for a moment, before he lowered the phone to his leg. "Jean, you're meeting a six year old boy, not the in laws. He's not going to care what you're wearing. Why have you done your hair up like that?" He noticed her tight top knot bun that looked awkward on her oval shaped head. "You never do your hair like that."

"You don't like it?" She turned towards the mirror in their hotel bedroom, sighing softly as she ran her fingers through a stray tendril. "I always thought I'd meet my first grandchild as a baby. The day they were born with their new baby smell. Their soft little skin and tiny fingers curling around mine. I know he's not all the way grown yet, but he's six years old already. He's had six years of Jillian Stokes being his one and only Grandmother."

"You don't need to compete with the woman, Jean." Daniel couldn't help but smile, pushing himself to his feet. He carefully pulled one of the bobby pins out of her hair, searching for another, until her shoulder length hair fell perfectly around her shoulders. "Our grandson is going to love you for who you are, because you are an amazing mother and you're going to be an even better grandmother. Just be yourself." He sealed their lips for a quick kiss, giving her a smile. "What time is Greg getting here?"

Jean didn't have time to answer, hearing a firm knock at their hotel room door already. She returned to the bathroom to comb her hair through, leaving her husband to answer the door. She touched up her lipstick, spraying a bit of perfume that didn't have a heavy stench to it, before she joined the rest of her family out in the bedroom.

"Hey, Mom." Greg stepped towards her, giving her a hug that felt as though it lasted a lifetime. He closed his eyes against her shoulder, breathing in her familiar comforting motherly scent, until she pulled back to look into his eyes.

"So you saw him yesterday? What was he like? Did he know who you were? What did you talk about?" She had a million questions to ask, but she didn't want to overwhelm him so soon.

"He knows me. He seemed to know more about me than I did about him." Greg sat himself on the bed beside his father, really wishing that he didn't have to do this again so soon. As much as he wanted to get to know his child, meeting him on his own without Nick there just didn't seem right. "He's... amazing." He stared off into space a moment. "Did you order champagne?" He saw the empty bottle sitting on the side.

"Greg, we've been waiting for a grandchild for about as long as we were waiting for a brother or sister for you." His mother pointed out to him, sitting herself down the other side of him. "Did you talk to Nick about custody?"

"No." He shook his head. "I told you, I don't want to do that to Nick or Evan. I can't just waltz in after six years making demands. It's not fair on either of them. Besides, what exactly do I have to offer him?"

"Besides your big heart?" Daniel smiled at his son, gently putting his arm around him. "You have plenty to offer this kid. But we'll support you whatever you decide to do." He looked at his wife to make sure that she agreed. "When is Nick bringing him over? Or where are we meeting him?"

"Um... he's currently with Catherine's mother, Lily at her place. He spent the night there while Nick was working. I'll go pick him up and meet you... where are we taking him?" Greg looked between his parents, hoping they had a plan, because he was all out of ideas. He just wanted more time to get to know him, but he couldn't exactly take him out to dinner or something to do that.

"How about the park? You said he loved the climbing frames." Daniel suggested, receiving slight nods from both his family members. "Oh, that'll be Grandma." He heard a knock at the door. He hurried to the door to let her in, taking the grocery bags off her hands. "Candy? Are you planning on turning him into a monster? Don't you remember what Greg was like with this stuff at that age?"

"Well I was in the toy department, looking at all the action figures and things. I had no idea what was good or what he would like, so I thought the best thing to do was buy him chocolates and sweets full of sugary goodness. What kid doesn't like candy?" His mother grinned at him, making her way into their hotel room. "Hi, sweetheart." She pecked a kiss to her grandson's head. "Are you nervous?"

"Hi, Grangela. Not so much." Greg shook his head, giving the woman a smile as she could see right through his little white lie. "Is everyone ready to go now? I still have to pick him up from Catherine's." He watched his Grandmother and mother checking their appearance in the mirror one last time, before they followed him out the door. He made sure they actually made it to his father's car, telling them to meet him at the same park he first met Evan at. He thought some familiarity might make Evan feel more comfortable around the complete strangers. He just hoped that his mother could behave herself and his grandmother wasn't too over the top.

He didn't want to scare the kid off.

When he arrived at Catherine's house, he was ready to bolt the moment he pulled up outside, but then he spotted the hyper six year old still dressed in his PJ's, bouncing up and down on the sofa. He looked so happy and full of life, reminding him of a former Nick that he left behind all those years ago.

Greg eventually managed to climb out of the car, brushing down his t-shirt, quickly combing his fingers through his hair as he made his way up the driveway to the front door. He lightly tapped his knuckles against the glass door, smiling at Catherine as she padded through the hallway towards him.

"Hey Greg, so this is a surprise." Catherine pulled the door open for him, ushering him inside. "Since when did you start hiring yourself out as a nanny?"

Greg gulped softly, realising what this looked like to her. "Uh... I... I'm just helping out a friend. Is he ready?"

"Almost, we're having difficulty getting him dressed. He's already turned down three outfits." Catherine grabbed her coffee off the side, leading him into the front room. "Partly because my mother decided to feed him some kind of chocolaty chocolate sugar rush cereal for breakfast and he's been bouncing off the walls ever since. I'm quite relieved that I'm not staying for this part. I've got a mountain of paperwork to get to at the lab." She grinned round at him. "Hey Evan, I told you not to bounce on the white sofa. Can you get down, please? Thank you, sweetheart."

Evan jumped straight down, picking up a large stuffed dog from the floor. He made barking noises as he ran through to the dining room, making the dog bounce across the glass table.

"You better not scratch that table. It's brand new. Can I get you some coffee, Greg?" Catherine led him through to the kitchen. "Trust me; I think you're going to need it watching this one. He's much livelier than Lindsey was at that age." She smirked, starting another pot.

"Yes, please." Greg joined her in the kitchen, watching the child racing around the table.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Doing a favour for a friend is really noble and everything, but when have you ever babysat a child? It's not like taking care of a dog or someone's house while they're away. A child is generally someone's most precious... possession or something. You can't hand them off to just anyone."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Greg gave her a slight smile, watching Evan crawling across the floor on his hands and knees, barking as he pushed the stuffed animal across the floor. "It's just for a couple of hours. Did Nick tell you anything?"

"Other than the fact that Greg Sanders of all people had been put in charge of his child you mean?" Catherine smiled, handing him a fresh cup of coffee. "Here, drink up. I'm sure you'll be fine. You're gonna want to avoid the sugar rush with this kid. Think of sugar as his drug and he's the little junkie. Personally, I don't know where he gets it from. Nick has gotta be the calmest man I've ever known."

Greg wished he could just blurt it out to her, but he had to respect Nick's wishes.

"I found them, Evan. Your father did pack them." Catherine's mother, Lily finally trudged down the stairs with some clothes in her arms, dropping them onto the sofa. She scooped the little monster up from the floor, trying to get him out of his pyjamas and into the cutest pair of dungarees Greg had ever seen. She put a red and white stripped t-shirt on underneath, dragging Evan back towards her before he crawled off to hook his navy blue dungarees into place on each shoulder. He almost looked like Dennis the menace in his little outfit, sending a chill down Greg's spine. "Wait, we have to put your socks on."

"No." Evan scampered away from her, crawling under the dining table. He weaved his way through the legs of each chair, stumbling to his feet out the other side. "Greg!" He pounced towards him, clinging to his jeans.

"Hi, Evan." Greg smiled at him, a little relieved that he didn't call him 'Daddy Greg' but then he started to worry that Nick had told him not to tell anyone. He felt as though he would forever be in the shadows to Nick, not even acknowledged as any kind of relation to their own child.

"I lost another tooth yesterday." Evan opened his mouth really wide, pointing to a gap in his gums. "It was hanging on by this really little bit then I brushed my teeth and it came out." He made a whooshing sound as he jumped as high as he could. "It didn't hurt though. I have another wobbly one over this side."

"Oh yeah, I can see." Catherine nodded, staring into his little mouth as he showed them his teeth. "Looks like you'll lose that one in no time. Looks like you might need braces one day too. Your adult teeth are coming in a little crocked. You had braces didn't you, Greg?"

Greg felt the blood draining from his face as he gave her a slight nod.

"I'm hoping that Lindsey doesn't need them. Maybe you'll get lucky and take after your father. I don't think he ever had braces." Catherine smiled at the child. "We better get you ready to go."

"Where is Daddy?" He looked between the two adults.

"Daddy is meeting you later. He had something to do after work, so Greg here is taking care of you until lunch time." Catherine assured him, gently sweeping her fingers through his messy hair. "Did you brush your teeth yet?"

"No." He weaved through their legs, going for the fridge door.

"Not in there, please. C'mon," Catherine ushered him away. "Go and brush your teeth. Lindsey! You better not be on that game thing." She called through the house, leaving Greg in the kitchen, so she could find her daughter. He watched Evan scrambling up the stairs after her on his hands and knees, giggling softly as the woman pulled him to his feet at the top.

Greg took the smallest sip from his coffee in his hands, feeling a little overwhelmed already and he wasn't even alone with him yet. He seemed much more hyper than he was the other day. He had trouble keeping up with him around the park, but he wasn't this hyper. He was actually a little terrified.

"Hi Greg, I didn't see you there." Lily smiled at him, making her way into the kitchen with him. She ditched the kids cereal bowls in the sink, handing him a backpack from the side that had Iron Man on it. "You might need this later. His Iron man action figure thing is already inside. Any idea where you're taking him?"

"The park." He shrugged his shoulders together. "He's not still in diapers is he?" He gave the bag in his hands a curious look, wondering what was inside.

"Oh no, Evan's been potty trained since he was three or four. He's six already, you're way past the diaper years." Lily chuckled softly, gently patting his hand. "Just don't forget to ask. You don't want to be out in the middle of nowhere and hear him say I have to go. Then you'll have to dash around to find a clean toilet. He can pretty much handle it all on his own; just don't leave him alone anywhere, especially in public."

Greg gave her a nod, relieved that she was here. His own mother was too excited to give him any kind of advice and his father had been too anxious to speak. He felt as though he was diving into the parenting pool at the deep end and he had no idea what he was doing.

When the kids had finished brushing their teeth, Catherine ushered them downstairs to get their socks and shoes on, practically chasing a hyperactive Evan around the front room to get his other shoe on. "I got you, you little monster." She gave him a playful tickle as he squirmed away from her. "Right." She breathed out a deep breath, searching for her car keys. "Let's go and get your booster seat for Greg's car, then you'll be ready to go."

"Booster seat?" Greg gave her a curious look, watching the woman smiling as she fetched her car keys. He followed her out to the driveway, seeing a little kid's sized booster seat in the back of her car. He didn't think a child of Evan's age still needed a seat that big to protect him in the car, but Catherine was rather insistent that they move it to the back of his car before he went anywhere.

"Here we go." She eventually managed to take the seat out the back of her car. "Alright, open it up, Greg." She followed him to his car on the street.

"Does he really need one of them?" Greg reluctantly made his way towards his car, opening the back door for her. "I doubt it's gonna fit in my car anyway."

"It's the law Greg, kids under the age of twelve or shorter than four feet or something have to sit in the back in a booster seat." Catherine ushered him aside, climbing into the back of his car to fit it into place. "Lindsey had one of those booster cushion seats. Eddie always forgot to take it with him, so he could never take her out in the car. This one used to be Evan's baby seat. It's one of those grow with your child seats."

Greg looked at the baby seat, trying to imagine his son as a baby. He briefly saw some pictures that Nick had given his mother of their child as a baby, but it wasn't the same as seeing the real thing.

"Just loop your seatbelt in through this part and clip it through on the other side. When you put Evan in, these straps just clip into place like so. He can do it on his own, but make sure it's secure before you drive." Catherine demonstrated, climbing out the back of the younger man's car. "Don't look so worried. He's pretty independent. I guess he gets that from Nick. Just make sure that he doesn't crack his head open or anything. Not like me when I let him ride Lindsey's scooter. I took my eyes off him for a second and he ended up in a storm drain. Two stitches to his head. Nick wouldn't let me watch him for months after that."

Greg gave her a slight smile, ditching the Iron Man backpack from his hands into the back. He gulped softly as Catherine made her way back to the house, fetching the little monster from behind the glass door. As soon as she opened the door, he came tearing down the drive like an excited puppy, jumping straight into the back of Greg's car.

"Is this your car, Greg?" He asked, climbing into his seat.

"It is. It's a bit of rust bucket, but it gets me from A to B." Greg bent down to give him some help, but Evan had already clipped it into place.

"Alright, there's the last bag. There's a change of clothes in there if you need it. Nick always over packs when he stays with us, so there's plenty to choose from." Catherine handed over the duffel bag to Greg, giving him a smile. "You'll be fine. Call if you need help. I've gotta take Lindsey off to her ballet class, then I'm off to the lab. Nick said he'd be home after lunch, so you can drop him off there or Nick might text you. My Mom's staying here if you change your mind."

"I'll be alright." He assured her, flashing his familiar grin in her direction.

"Alright, bye Evan. Be a good boy." Catherine waved to him, before she turned back to the house. "Lindsey, c'mon. We're going to be the last to arrive, again!" She called for her own daughter, ushering the child out to the car. She closed the door once she was in the back, giving Greg one last wave as they reversed down the driveway.

"Mind your fingers." Greg turned towards his own child, making sure he tucked his arms in, before he pushed the car door shut. He ditched the duffel bag full of clothes and some toys into the trunk, quickly climbing into the driver's seat to get going. "Are you all strapped in?" He double checked the child's seatbelt.

"Yep." Evan stretched his little legs out as far as possible, sporting an adorable grin on his lips. "Ready."

"Okay. Let's go." Greg started up the car, trying to remember to breathe as he put the car in drive. He suddenly felt as though he was driving around the most precious cargo in the world, driving the car as slowly as he could and carefully as possible. The journey to the park took him almost three times as long as it normally would, but he had the reassurance that his baby in the back was perfectly safe.

"Where are we going, Greg?"

"I thought we'd go to the park. We're meeting some of my family there. Remember you asked me about my Mom and Dad the other day?" He looked at the child in the rear view mirror, watching him nodding as he recalled the conversation about his new grandparents. "Well they're here in the city for the weekend and they'd love to meet you, so I thought we could spend some time with them, before I have to get you back to your Daddy."

Evan gave him a slight nod, looking a little nervous about meeting new people.

"Hey, your Daddy told me that you two went to the Aquarium yesterday." Greg remembered a trick his mother used to use on him when he was nervous. She'd talk his ears off until they got there, usually about anything that popped into her head, making him completely forget about whatever it was they were going to do. "I can't remember the last time I went to an Aquarium. Probably when I was back in school. I remember my Papa Olaf took me to this one that had the ocean all above our heads. We walked down this long tunnel and we could see all the sting rays, sharks... octopus, now they were cool."

"I saw a octopus." Evan piped up. "He had these really long arms and he came at us like this." He demonstrated with his arms. "He had huge eyes and a huuuge brain. His head was this big."

"Oh wow, that must have been cool to see. My Papa Olaf didn't like the octopus. He thought they were too scary."

"I'm not scared of them." Evan gave him a smile. "I like the sharks the best. They have hundreds of sharp teeth. Nobody can mess with a shark."

"Sharks are cool." Greg nodded in agreement; adoring the smile plastered his son's lips. He still couldn't believe that he was real. The last thing he ever would have expected to come back to was a child, but his little miracle continued to amaze him more and more. He realised why his own mother had been so desperate to have more children and continued to hassle him for grandchildren to this day. One of the rules she laid out to him when he finally came out to her was that this didn't get him off the hook for grandchildren. She didn't care if he adopted or used a surrogate; she just wanted some grandchildren to spoil rotten.

"Greg?"

"Yeah?" Greg lifted his gaze to the rear view mirror again.

"Is your Papa Olaf your Daddy too?"

"Oh... no, he's my Granddaddy. I only have one Daddy. Papa Olaf is my Mom's Daddy. That makes him your Great Granddad. You can call him Papa Olaf though. I call my Dad's Daddy, Grandpa to avoid confusion." He looked round at his son, realising he was a little confused already. "He's your Great Grandpa too. Today we're only meeting my Mom, Dad and my Grandma Angela. I don't know what you're supposed to call them."

Evan nodded his head slightly, looking out the window beside him for a few more blocks, before he had more questions. "Greg."

"Yeah?"

"If you're my Daddy and Daddy is my Daddy too, what do I call you?"

Greg pursed his lips together, humming softly as he tried to think. "Well... I don't really know. Your Daddy, Nick. He will always be your Daddy. You don't have to call me Daddy if you don't want to. We're still getting to know each other. Greg's fine." He gave him a smile in the mirror. He finally pulled up outside the familiar park, noticing his family right away. "Are you ready to meet them?"

"Yeah." Evan unclipped his own seatbelt, easily sliding out the back of the car. He stuck close to Greg as the man locked up his car, following him towards the pavement that led into the park. He reached his little hand up to Greg's side, waiting for the man to take his hand, before he took another step.

Greg had never held a child's hand before. He couldn't remember ever holding anyone else's hand out in public, besides his mother's or father's when he was a kid, but this was his son.

He hesitantly reached his hand out to Evan's, feeling his heart fluttering as the child's tiny hand slid perfectly into his own. He had a strong grip for someone so small. The action alone made him love him even more.

"Oh... that's definitely him." Greg's mother fanned her eyes to keep herself from crying. She watched her son leading the miniature version of himself inside the little kids area, feeling her eyes welling up as there was definitely no doubt about it anymore.

He was without a doubt a product of her own child.

"Mom, Dad... Grangela," Greg led the little boy over to them, giving them all a wide grin. "I'd like you to meet, Evan. My son." He had only known him for two days himself, but he knew they would adore him as much as he did.

* * *

Entering the women's correctional facility, Nick gulped hard on the lump in his throat, following the guard through to the visitor's area. He was the only one there, making him feel more than a little nervous. He had already made it past the barbed wire fences, the multiple gates, metal detectors and heavy locked doors to get to this point.

Now he was being locked in a secure room that didn't have any windows and no way out.

He breathed in a deep breath as he made his way over to one of the booths, looking at the phone on the wall beside him. He had never actually used one of them before. He had visited correctional facilities before, but he had never really been there with the intention to visit anyone. Usually he had a crime scene or an inmate to process, maybe even a guard to speak to, but he had never sat down to visit someone before, especially someone he didn't really know.

Glancing towards the door as it buzzed open; Nick immediately saw the bright orange overalls of an inmate, with her ID number printed across the chest. A bulky guard led the inmate over to the booth Nick was sat in, sitting inmate number two-two-three-two, also known as Kelly Gordon down in the seat in front of him.

Nick gave the woman a slight wave, seeing a look of confusion on her features. He reached for the phone beside him, putting it to his ear. He watched her contemplating whether to do the same a moment, before she finally picked it up on her side.

Kelly narrowed her eyes on the man, trying to decide what to make of him. "Are you the one?"

Nick wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. Was he the one that her father abducted and trapped in coffin six feet under ground? Was he the one that her father left a gun with when he buried him beneath a fire ants nest? Was he the one who couldn't sleep anymore without thinking about it? Was he the one who felt completely lost and afraid all the time?

YES! He wanted to scream.

Instead, he gave her a slight smile as he nodded his head. "Yeah." He cleared his throat, wishing he had brought some water with him. "Back at you. You're the one he did it all for."

"Look, I don't know what you're expecting from me." Kelly sighed softly, slowly lifting her gaze to look him in the eyes. "I didn't know. I... I don't know what you expect me to do. Do you want an apology? Because if you came here for one..."

"No, you didn't do anythin' to me." Nick cut her off, wishing she were a little more grateful. Her father put him through hell to get her case reviewed. It never even occurred to him to just ask. "I... I didn't come here for an apology. I heard that you were finally gettin' out, so I thought... what your father did to me. I... I guess he did it because he loved you so much."

Kelly immediately scraped her chair back, dropping the phone as she climbed to her feet.

"Hey, Kelly. Kelly." Nick pushed himself to his feet, trying to hold it together as he motioned to the phone on her side. "Please... pick it up." He watched her looking between the guard and himself, before she decided to pick the phone up again. "I didn't come for an apology." He assured her, realising he wasn't going to get one anyone. "I wanted to make sure you knew that you're not to blame for what your father did. In a few days when you get out of here... don't take it with you."

"That's it?" She seemed rather impatient to get back to her cell.

"Yeah." Nick clenched his teeth into his bottom lip, keeping his emotions at bay. "Yeah, that's it."

Without a second though, Kelly Gordon hung up the phone on her side, making her way back to the bulky guard. She didn't even look back at him as the guard buzzed her through the door, escorting her back to her cell.

"That's it." Nick spoke softly, hooking the phone back in its place.

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he turned towards the door, waiting patiently behind the door. He was expecting to feel a little more closure after this visit, but he felt oddly worse. He didn't imagine that it was easy for her to face the man that her father tortured in order to get her case reviewed, but he was expecting to meet someone with a little more humanity that would at least hear him out, rather than act as though he was wasting her time.

"Hey, Stokes." The guard finally buzzed him through. "Just a quick one today, aye?"

Nick gave the man a slight nod, trying to recall his name. He had met so many people during his career; his name had just slipped his mind.

Rather than dwelling on it, he followed the man back to the visitors centre, collecting his watch, phone and car keys, before he made his way out to his truck. He sat behind the wheel of his truck for a good twenty minutes or so, wishing that he could see Evan or even Greg. He needed to see someone who loved him unconditionally right now. He'd even take a hug from Grissom right about now, but he was still all alone.

No matter how hard he tried, he was always alone.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought. Sorry about the delay, my Mum isn't very well at the moment, so I haven't had a lot of time to write. This is the last chapter I have written fully of this story, so it might be a while before my next update. Thanks so much for your support so far. I'll try and get back to it when I can.**

 **~ Holly**


	24. Chapter 23 - Looking to the Future

**Chapter Twenty Three - Looking to the Future**

"Ready! Three... two... one... Go!" Taking off across the park where people were walking their dogs, Evan ran as fast as his little legs could carry him with the wind in his hair, beating Greg to the tree again. He giggled victoriously, hiding around the other side of the tree to stop the man from tickling him. "I beat you, Greg."

"You sure did, you little monster." Greg knelt down to his level, catching him in his arms.

"I not a monster." Evan tore his eyes away from him for a moment, watching a large dog making its way past them. He watched the large beast with a look of fascination, before he turned to look at Greg in front of him again.

"Do you like dogs?"

"Yeah." The child nodded his head slightly. "Grandma and Granddad have lots of dogs. Grandma let me walk one of them when we went there for the weekend. Daddy said we can't have a dog in our house though."

"How come?" He remembered Nick had always loved dogs. He even mentioned that he would get one before he started a family. Not that he exactly planned the family thing.

Evan shrugged his shoulders together, watching another dog chasing after a tennis ball. "Daddy is always too busy working." He pulled away from Greg, tapping his hand against his arm. "Tag, you're it." He giggled running back to the children's play area.

Greg smiled at his adorableness, before he pushed himself to his feet, following in his son's footsteps. His parents got tired after the first round of tag, so they had sat themselves down on one of the benches inside. When Evan came running up to them to tag Daniel back into the game though, he pushed himself straight to his feet, forgetting about his tired old knees as he chased him around the climbing complex.

"Tired yet, sweetheart?" Greg's mother pushed her sunglasses back into her hair, giving him a cheesy grin. "Running around after a six year old isn't as easy as you think it is, huh? Especially since he seems to have your energy level."

"I'm fine." Greg assured her, ignoring the pain in his side from all the running around. "Where did Grangela go?"

"Over in the shade, she got too hot. The woman moved to Florida to get more sun, but she can't stand the sun here in Las Vegas." Jean pointed him over to the trees, where she was sat on the ground beneath it, texting away on her phone. "Your Nana called a few minutes ago. If it wasn't for her cold, she'd be here to see him." She watched the child giggling as he crawled away from Daniel, outsmarting him by taking the tots slide down that the man couldn't fit on. "He's so beautiful, sweetheart. He looks so much like you. That grin though, it's definitely Nick's. A big Texas grin to match his big heart. You miss him, don't you?" She made an observation, giving him a smile as he looked round at her.

"So what if I do?" Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "I feel like I'll love him for the rest of my life. It doesn't change what he did." He smiled watching Evan scramble away from his father again, losing him across the rope bridge this time. "Remember what Nana used to say? You get one great love in your life. The kind of love that will stay in my heart forever. No matter what. Nick's that love."

"Didn't you once tell me that your great love was that Taylor kid after your Nana caught you playing seven minutes of heaven in the closet?"

"For the record, we were barely in there two minutes and he didn't even kiss me. I never said I loved him either." Greg defended himself, wishing his Nana had kept that secret to her grave like she promised.

"You are allowed to forgive him, you know. Nick." His mother clarified. "You can forgive him if you want to."

"This coming from you?" Greg gave her a smile. "Less than two hours ago, you were talking about seeking sole custody of Evan, now you want me to forgive the man that hid him from us in the first place? What changed your mind this time?" He knew that his mother could be very indecisive sometimes, but it never usually happened this fast.

Jean shrugged her shoulders together, watching her husband climbing the three foot ladder with his bad back. She noticed him wincing a little, but nothing would stop him from keeping up with his grandson, just like no meeting or distraction at work would keep him away from his own son at that age.

"I guess... I've always liked, Nick. Compared to some of the other men you've brought home with you over the years... he was always polite and very affectionate towards you. You've never dated a man who said 'please' and 'thank you' before and Evan's just the same. He said 'thank you, ma'am' earlier when I said I liked his t-shirt."

Greg smiled proudly. "Did you decide what you're going to go by yet?" He gave her a curious look.

"I've been giving it a lot of thought actually." Jean lowered the sunglasses to her face, blocking out the bright sun again. "Evan mentioned that his grandparents in Texas go by Grandma and Granddad. Your Nana mentioned earlier that a maternal Norwegian grandmother goes by Mormor, so there's one option. Or your Grangela suggested that I should combine my name with Granny."

"So... Greany?" Greg frowned at her.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." She pouted, trying to think. "Your father wants to go by Pops or Grandpops. He had it planned the moment you told us about him."

"All these years of planning for grandchildren and you never worked out what your own grandchildren would call you?" He couldn't help but laugh, backing away from her as she tried to swat him. "How about Nene?" He made his own suggestion, letting her mull over the decision, while he rejoined the game.

Evan jumped down the last few steps of the ladder, giggling softly as he hurried away from his new grandfather. He quickly weaved himself beneath the bars of the climbing frame structure to get out of his reach, running towards the swings before he caught up to him. He was a lot more playful than his Granddad in Texas, probably because he was a lot younger than Grandpa Stokes. He didn't know how much younger he was exactly; he just seemed to have more energy than Grandpa Stokes ever did and not so many grey hairs.

"Careful." Daniel followed him round the back of the kids on the swings, making sure the child didn't get too close. He almost caught up to him, but Evan wriggled away, running towards the spiral slide. He crawled underneath, squealing as Greg appeared out of nowhere, scooping him into his arms.

"Gotcha." Greg giggled with him, feeling his heart swell with love for this kid. Six years ago, he couldn't even imagine having children of his own. They were the last thing on his mind, but now that he had him in his arms, he wouldn't give him up for anything in the world.

He followed the beautiful creation back to the swings, taking the empty swing beside him as his own, so they could swing into the clouds like they did the other day.

"Hey, I'm hungry." He realised, watching Evan dragging his feet across the ground to bring his swing to a stop. "How about you? What do you fancy for lunch?"

Evan pursed his lips together for a moment, an adorable look of concentration on his face that looked so much like Nick's. He finally licked his lips, grinning as he shouted, "Hamburgers and pickles!"

"Hamburgers and pickles. Mmm... Is that really what you want?"

"Yeah!" Evan excitedly jumped into his arms.

"Okay, shall we go pick up Daddy first? He might be hungry too." Climbing to his feet from the swing, Greg scooped him into his arms, feeling his son's little arms securely wrapped around his shoulders. He held him close against his chest for a moment, feeling another swell of paternal pride. He caught his father smiling at him, spotting his mother dealing with another round of water works. He smiled at both of them, wishing that Nick was here with him.

His family didn't feel complete without Nick around.

"Daddy." His son clutched him tightly, looking into his eyes.

Until this moment, he didn't really feel like his father. He felt like a stranger to him, but the confirmation from his child's lips made it feel more real. "Yeah?"

"When Grandpops goes back to California, will you go with him?"

"No." Greg carried him towards the gate. "I haven't lived with my parents for a long time. My home is here in Las Vegas now. Not as nice as their house though. It's more of a... cramped little apartment that's full of boxes at the moment."

"Why?" Evan gave him a curious look.

"Why is it full of boxes? Because I haven't gotten around to unpacking anything yet. I'm not even sure if I want to live there. The apartment next door to me had a cockroach infestation last week and my other neighbour is covered in bites from her dog's fleas." Greg felt his spine itching again, wishing he had never moved back into his old apartment building.

"No, why don't you live with your Mommy and Daddy anymore?"

"Oh," He gave him a slight smile, watching his parents entwining their hands together, sharing a smile as they followed him towards the car park. "Well, it's kinda just something that most people do once they've grown up. They don't usually move so far as my mother will tell you a lot. It would be pretty cool to still live with them. All of my family is in California. But my job is here. My friends are here. Your Daddy and you live here. So I want to live here."

Evan gave him an adorable little smile, resting his head against the man's shoulder. "Greg?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you and Daddy break up?" He asked him the dreaded question that he had been regretting.

Greg lowered him to the floor beside his car, retrieving his keys from his pocket. He opened up the back door for him, letting Evan climb in by himself.

"Well, it's a little... complicated." He sat himself down beside him, scooping his seatbelt out from under him. He didn't really know how to explain their situation to himself, let alone their child, but he had to think of something. "Nick... your Daddy and me... when we were dating... we kinda wanted different things back then. I got a job offer in San Francisco to do the one thing I had always wanted to do. I thought it was what I wanted at the time." He paused a moment, before he lifted his gaze to meet Evan's. "I wanted your Daddy to come with me, but he wanted to stay here where his friends were. Where his job was. I didn't want to force him to do anything that he didn't want to do... so we decided that it was best for both of us... if we go our own separate ways and do the things that we wanted to do."

Evan looked over the sadness in the man's eyes, curiously asking, "Didn't you want to stay with me and Daddy?"

"Well," Greg pursed his lips together, breathing in a deep breath. "You weren't even born then. You were born after I left. Your Daddy... he didn't tell me about you." He spoke softly, wondering how much Nick had told him. "I'm not even sure what I would have done if he did tell me then, but I guess we'll never find out. I'm just really glad that I finally got to meet you. I didn't think I would ever have a child. But here you are... and you're amazing."

Evan gave him an adorable toothy grin, mimicking Nick's warmth.

"What do you want to do now, Greg?" He gave him a curious little look as Greg fastened his seatbelt into place around his waist.

Greg smiled slightly, looking into the precocious little boy's eyes. "I want to be here with you and your Daddy. I don't want to miss another moment of either of your lives." He playfully ruffled his fingers through his son's hair, giving him a wider smile.

Evan shyly smiled back at him, reminding him so much of Nick. "Daddy, can you be with us every day now?"

He shrugged his shoulders together slightly, seeing the disappointed look on his little face. "I hope so. Hey, anytime you wonna see me, just ask your Daddy to call me and I'll be there. I'm not going anywhere." He promised him, climbing out the car to close the door.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." His mother appeared beside him.

"Who says I can't keep it?"

"You prioritised your career over your love for Nick. I'm just saying." Jean raised her hands either side of her, backing away before he had a chance to argue. "So, where are we off to?"

"To pick up Nick for some food. You wonna come?" He pulled the driver's side door open, watching her contemplating her decision a moment. "Best behaviour." He warned her.

"I always am." Jean waved to her grandchild in the back, seeing so much of her son in his adorable features. "Drive safe, sweetheart." She pushed the door shut for him, waving to him as he cautiously backed himself out of his parking spot.

* * *

"You're sure?" Sitting forwards on the table, Nick watched the doctor giving him a positive nod, denying his fears. He thought he would be relieved to find out that he wasn't pregnant after a one night stand with Greg, but he still felt as empty as he did before.

"As far as I can tell from the ultrasound scan, you're not pregnant. The scar tissue has healed nicely, but I can't see any sign of a baby in there." The man assured him, ditching the device on the machine beside him. He swivelled his chair around, looking at his patient's gloomy expression. "We can take some bloods and a urine test as a precaution. Did you actually do a pregnancy test or do you just...?"

"No, no test." Nick shook his head, pulling his t-shirt back on. "I just... had a feelin'... like somethin' was." He cleared his throat, looking up at the doctor. "If I did become pregnant, what would my options be?"

"Your options?" The man pursed his lips together a moment, telling his patient exactly what he needed to hear. "Now that we know about your condition, we'll be able to monitor the pregnancy more closely and hopefully avoid the complications that we had before with Evan. Hopefully with careful observation of the two of you, we'll be able to bring the baby to full term and avoid a long stay in neonatal like you had before. Is it something that you're planning?"

Nick shook his head, sliding himself off the table. "More like somethin' I'm tryin' to avoid." He spoke softly, watching the man filling in some details in his file. "When will you get my blood results back?"

"We'll call you with the results as soon as we get them back from our lab. I'll get a nurse to take some bloods before you go." He checked the time on his watch. "You know there's a drug trial for birth control pills for someone in your situation that won't affect the natural flow of you hormone levels. The trouble is, we can't get enough intersexed individuals like you to sign up for the drug trial, so we can't get it approved."

"Birth control?" Nick couldn't help but smile at the prospect. "I never thought I'd hear myself say this... but I kinda always wanted a handful of kids."

"Alright, please consult me before going ahead with it though. I'd like to keep a close eye on your health. For both of your sakes. Anything else you're concerned about?" The man made his way back to his desk, fetching a small cup that Nick was expected to pee into. "How's the insomnia?" He asked, looking over his file.

"Better." He lied, sitting himself down in the chair.

"Looks like you've had a rough couple of months. Are you still taking the pills that your doctor at the hospital prescribed for the insomnia?" Doctor Patrick gave him a curious look, sensing that he hadn't from the look on his face. "Alright, I'll get a nurse to draw up some bloods." He wrote his patient's information on the urine cup, before he handed it over to him. "Make sure you fill this before you leave today. Just give it to the nurse. We'll call you as soon as we get the results. Let me know if there are any more problems. I can recommend some therapists for you to talk to if the pills aren't working. There's a sleep clinic right here in the hospital and the drug trial for the birth control pills is still open to you if you change your mind. They pay you once the trial is complete."

"I'm not that desperate for cash. Thanks, I'm alright." Nick pulled his phone out as it started to vibrate, receiving a message from Greg as a nurse stepped into the room. He briefly glanced up at the man in blue scrubs, not recognising him until he was right beside him. "Hey... uh... Jay, right?"

Hearing his name, Jay tore his eyes away from the needles and things he was prepping, smiling as he recognised the other man's features right away. "Yeah... damn... Nicky Stokes? Wow, I haven't seen you since High school. How'd you end up here in Vegas?"

"Uh... for my job, I'm a crime scene investigator with the LVPD, Crime lab." Nick gulped hard, terrified that he might find out the truth about him. They were never exactly friends back in High school, but they were on the football team together. Jay hadn't changed much since then. He still had the same lean athletic figure, chiselled jaw and baby blue eyes that lit up his whole face.

"Crime lab, really? Wow, I always thought you'd end up workin' with your father down at the DA's office or somethin'." Jay pulled up a seat beside him, reaching for Nick's arm. He could probably feel him trembling with fear, but he didn't seem to take any notice. "I moved here with the wife four years back. She's an engineer. We were livin' in Atlanta before that. We've been married goin' on ten years now." He smiled proudly, noting the absence of a wedding ring on Nick's finger. "So I guess you and Melissa didn't end up tyin' the knot?"

"Melissa?" Nick couldn't think straight with all his fears on his mind, trying to focus on steadying his hand as Jay prepped his arm for the needle.

"Yeah, your prom date, Melissa. The red head that you brought to the after party at Bryan's house. I think she was a cousin of that buck toothed girl that Jason brought to the prom. She ended up passed out in the bathroom most of the night." He jogged his memory, sticking a needle straight into his arm without any warning. "What happened with her?"

Nick tried to keep his arm as still as possible, looking away as Jay added the vile that would soon fill with his blood. "Uh, Melissa... she was just a friend of my sister's. The buck toothed girl." He gave him a slight smile. "We were never anythin' serious... she's married with kids of her own now. You got any?"

"Yeah, four." Jay grinned widely, removing the first vile of his blood. "We had our first in college. He just turned fifteen this year. We had twin girls a few years after him and our youngest; Eddie just turned nine this month. We were gonna have more, a whole football team eventually, but we had so many complications with Eddie that we decided four was enough. What about you, how many kids are you up to now?"

"Oh… just the one." Nick gulped softly, flinching as he pulled the needle out of his arm. He held it close to his chest with the cotton bud pressed to the hole in his arm, watching the other man labelling up his blood vile.

"Oh yeah, you're trying for another though?"

"What makes you say that?" He gave him a confused look.

Jay couldn't help but smile at the question, motioning towards the office they were in. The walls were plastered with pictures of baby's and diagrams of pregnant bellies, along with a few posters containing information on the reproductively challenged.

"Don't know if you noticed where you're at, but Doctor Patrick happens to be a fertility specialist, that's why he's located in the gynaecology wing. We don't generally get a lot of men through here, unless they're havin' fertility issues."

Nick's cheeks immediately flushed with blood, making him feel a little light headed. "Oh, yeah... we uh... are tryin' for another. We are..." He incoherently babbled, squeezing his arm a little tighter.

"Yeah? Well I've seen lots of couples come through here with their doubts that they could ever get pregnant. Most of them go on to have a healthy baby." Jay climbed to his feet, snapping the latex gloves off his hands. "It's good to see you again, Nicky. You know, we missed you at the High school reunion. The whole team showed up. Quarter back, Brad ended up marryin' that cheerleader that was known for sleepin' around... what was her name again? Tracy, I think. Six kids and they divorced while number six was still growin'. Cindy, the head cheerleader... she's piled on the pounds. No kids, back living with her Mama, working as a waitress or somethin'. Oh and our wide receiver, James... complete fairy. He showed up with a drag queen on his arm."

Nick sunk back in his seat, anxiously biting his bottom lip, hoping that Jay wouldn't get a look at his file. If he did he'd have to find another doctor who knew about his condition and didn't employ anyone that he knew. He feared what he would do if he found out. How he would look at him or who he would tell.

It was exhausting constantly worrying about every little thing in his life.

"Oh and do you remember that Chess club freak that we used to torment?" Jay bit his bottom lip, trying to remember the guy's name. "Walter somethin'... I can't remember his surname. I heard he was inside for a life stretch after an armed robbery gone south. Always the quiet ones, aye?" He smirked, climbing to his feet from the chair. "We'll get these sent off for you. Doctor Patrick will contact you with the results. Just leave your urine cup on the table there." Jay packed everything up, giving him a smile as he made his way to the door. "Hey, maybe we should go out for a drink sometime."

"Uh... yeah, sure." Nick had no intention of going anywhere with him, but he accepted his number, making a mental note to delete it later.

"Alright. I'll see yah later, Nick." He pulled the door shut behind him, leaving Nick holding his arm. He finally glanced down at the unread text from Greg now that the coast was clear, allowing a smile to spread across his lips just from the invitation of joining him for lunch.

Greg was the only man who could still put a smile on his lips. He didn't need therapy so long as he had Greg in his life.


	25. Chapter 24 - Part of the Family

**A/N: I lost my motivation to write for this story over Christmas, but thanks to a friend and fellow writer J.M. I've managed to complete this story over the last few weeks. There's now 30 chapters total and an epilogue that I'm still in the process of writing. Thanks so much for sticking with this story, and a special thanks to Marymel for your continued support!**

 **Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoy!**

 **~ Holly**

 **Chapter Twenty Four - Part of the Family**

When they arrived at the Texan's house, Evan jumped straight out of the car, before Greg had even cut the engine. He had texted ahead to make sure he was home, spotting the man in question through the window as he hurried for the door.

"Daaa-ddy!" Evan ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, jumping straight into his father's arms. He hugged the man as though he had been away from him for years, not hours. He clutched his little arms tightly around Nick's neck, closing his eyes as the man ran his hand in soothing circles across his spine.

"Hey, baby boy." Nick breathed in his familiar scent, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. Hugging his son was exactly what he needed after a long day like today, making him realise he could never give him up completely. He wanted to give him a better life, but he didn't think that he could cope without him. "I missed you. Did you have fun with your Daddy?"

"Yeah." Evan pulled back slightly, looking into his father's eyes. "Daddy Greg is really fun. We played tag and we went on the swings, really high up. We climbed the swirly slide and Daddy Greg can do monkey bars. Nene lost her shoe on the rope bridge. And Grandpops threw a Frisbee for a really big dog. He looked like a wolf." He spoke a mile a minute, proving that he was a part of Greg.

"Nene and Grandpops?" He gave him a quizzical look.

"Yeah." Evan pointed towards the people in the car behind Greg's. "That's Grandpops, Grangela and Nene. They're Greg's family, so they're mine and your family too. We have an even bigger family now."

Nick couldn't help but smile, relieved that the Sanders clan had welcomed his son into their arms, just like they did with him all those years ago. He feared that they wouldn't do the same to him now after all the lies he had told. "Hi, Greg." He adjusted his son in his arms, watching the gorgeous younger man making his way towards him.

"Hi." Greg removed the sunglasses from his face, presenting him with his familiar sunny smile. He couldn't help but notice Nick's puffy red eyes, wondering if he was the cause of his tears. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He presented him with a genuine smile.

"Daddy, can you come with us to get some lunch?" Evan remembered what he was supposed to ask. "Greg said I can have ice cream after."

"Oh, did he." Nick smiled at the younger man. He glanced towards the other car, wondering if Greg's mother had been told to stay put in the car to stop her from jumping down his throat about all the secrets he had been keeping from them. "Are you sure that's alright with..."

"Yeah." Greg nodded, before he could finish his question. "My parents would really like you to come with us. It's just my Mom, Dad and my Grangela. Is your mother still here?" He pointed to the house.

"Uh no..." Nick shook his head. "We had... a little disagreement. She checked herself into a hotel closer to the airport. She's leavin' in the mornin'. She's gonna stay with my sister, Lily in Texas for a while. Until things get sorted out, I guess."

"She's talking to her now?" Greg looked at him surprised a moment, before he felt the grumble of his hungry stomach. He glanced towards Nick's neighbour's house as he saw the blinds twitching, spotting an older woman watching them in the window. "Uh so... do you want to come get something to eat with us? We're starving."

"Yeah." Evan agreed with him. "C'mon, Daddy. Pleeeaaase." He begged him.

"Okay." Nick patted his son on the back, giving the younger man a slight smile. "Let me just change my shirt real quick, then I'll be ready to go. Do you wonna come in a minute?" He lowered his son to the floor, opening the door behind him a little wider to let them inside.

"Daddy, your arm is bleeding." Evan pointed it out to him, stepping in behind him. "What happened Daddy?"

"Oh... I... I went to the doctor today and I had to have a blood test. It doesn't hurt." Nick brushed away the blood from his arm, making his way through to the kitchen to grab his first aid kit off the fridge. "So, did your parents fly down with your Grangela?" He called back to Greg.

"No, my parents drove. I think they got in the car the second I told them about, Evan." Greg hooked his sunglasses onto his t-shirt, following his son inside. He smiled as he looked around at the completely transformed front room of Nick's former bachelor pad, noticing the pile of laundry on the sofa that had yet to be sorted.

It felt as though he had stepped into a parallel universe, but he liked it more than the one he was in back in San Francisco.

Turning on his heels, Greg turned his attention towards the man in the kitchen, watching him struggling with the tabs of a Ninja turtle band aid a moment. "Here, let me get that for you." He grabbed the sticky plaster out of his hands, taking over rather than watching him struggle any longer. "Jeez, they really butchered your arm." He gently brushed his thumb across the bruise beginning to form, wondering what kind of rookie they had taking blood out of his arm. "Did a vampire take your blood?"

"Not quite." Nick gave him a smile. "What about your, Grangela?" He asked, putting his back to the counter. He held his arm out as Greg wiped the needle mark with an alcoholic wipe, before he sealed the plaster into place.

"Grangela flew over from Florida. Granddad and her moved there a few years ago. They have their own condo there with a pool and everything. I think she was kinda anxious to meet him. I didn't even know she was here until she showed up at the lab."

"Florida?" Nick gave him a curious look. "Isn't she the one who complained about the heat in California?"

"Yeah." Greg cracked a grin, pressing the ninja turtles sticky down to absorb the blood underneath. "Granddad wanted to go to Alaska for their retirement, which is kinda more her style, but they chose Florida at the last minute. I haven't heard her complain about it yet, so I guess she likes it." He binned the band aid packet behind him, looking into Nick's eyes. "So was it a routine check up or...?"

"What?" Nick gave him a curious look.

"The visit to the doctor, was it routine or are you...?"

"Oh uh..." He shook his head. "It was just a routine thing. I'm fine." The Texan gave him a nod, brushing his finger across his arm. "Thanks, G."

Returning his gaze, Greg gave the man a slight nod, looking at his delicious lips poised in front of him. He wanted to kiss him so bad, but he didn't want to complicate things. He was right within his reach now. He could almost feel his warmth, but he couldn't give in.

"Daddy!" Their son called out to them.

Greg turned to answer the paternal nickname, but Nick had already beaten him to it. He watched the man hurrying past him to tend to their son's needs, wondering if he would ever be the kind of father that Nick had been to Evan. He wasn't the jealous type, but he wanted Evan to need him the way he needed, Nick.

"Where are my blades?" Evan dropped to his knees by the door, searching through his shoes.

"I moved them when I sorted out the shoes." Nick quickly stopped him from pulling them all out of their neat little slots. "Check by the back door. You don't need your blades anyway, we're goin' to lunch."

"I want to show Nene that I can ride them." Evan weaved past him, running for the back door to get them.

"Don't put them on in the house, please. I just cleaned up in here." He called after him, pushing the other shoes back into their slots. He pushed himself to his feet, presenting the younger man with a smile. "Thank you for takin' care of him, G. He give you any trouble?"

"No... he's perfect." Greg spoke softly, reaching his arm out to stop Nick from walking past him. "You know, even if he wasn't my flesh and blood, I'd love him anyway. He's a part of you. All the best parts too." He looked into the man's eyes. "Your love, kindness, compassion... he's even got your manners and that gorgeous Texan grin down." He made sure that Evan was out of earshot, looking into the older man's big beautiful eyes, seeing the tear streaks running down his cheeks now that he was closer. "I would do anything for him. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. I know." Nick gave him a slight nod, gulping on the lump in his throat. "I'm a... I'm gonna go change my shirt."

"Nicky," He caught his arm this time. "Whatever happened between us... I'm still here for you. If you need someone to talk to or just be there for you or Evan. I'm always here for you."

"I'm fine, G." He assured him, confessing, "Actually, I went to visit Kelly Gordon today. Relax, I knew what I was doin'. I wasn't expectin' anythin'. I just... her father went through a lot of trouble to get her out. I didn't want her to take this with her when she got out and got on with her life. She was innocent goin' in. She's innocent of her father's crimes. I didn't want her to live with the guilt."

"That's not your responsibility, Nicky." He felt as though he adored him even more.

"I know." Nick nodded his head. "It just felt like the right thing to do. I'm fine, really. I didn't expect anythin'. I just had to see her." He gave him a slight smile, before he turned for his room down the hall. "I'll go find a shirt."

"Hey, Nicky." Greg called after him again. He waited for him to turn around, looking into his puppy dog eyes. "You're a good man."

Nick presented him with a slight smile, before he slipped into his room. He changed himself out of the holey old t-shirt that he was wearing. It was comfortable to wear while he was doing chores around the house, so he hadn't bothered to throw it out yet.

"Greg, come look," Evan reached out for his hand, leading him into the kitchen. He straightened out a piece of artwork pinned down by alphabet magnets, showing Greg his latest creation.

Greg knelt down beside him, giving him a smile as he examined the image of himself in an Iron Man suit. He didn't think he would be picture worthy already, but he even spelt his name correctly.

"That's you."

"I can tell. It's really good." Greg gave him an even wider smile, gently wrapping his arm around him. He never understood why parents would want to display pieces of art from their children that looked as though they had just scribbled onto a page. He felt embarrassed for his mother having to display some of his pieces over the years, but now he finally understood what they saw.

His young artist had created something from nothing and it was beautiful. His eyes completely lit up the moment he led him over to it. He was proud of what he had created and the fact that he had thought of him to be picture worthy this soon into their relationship made Greg feel even prouder.

Not holding back any longer, Greg pressed a kiss to the side of his child's head, holding him tightly in his arms. He felt the strength of their bond even more now, especially when his son leant back in his embrace, putting their hearts close enough together to pound as one.

He didn't even hear Nick returning, too busy listening to every word his son said.

Nick finally cleared his throat to get their attention, giving Greg a smile as he looked round at him. "Hey... I'm ready to go." He had changed his jeans to his more tightly fitted ones with a smart button down shirt tucked inside.

He looked delicious, especially with his slightly glazed eyes.

"Yeah... um... okay." Greg pushed himself to his feet, gently combing his fingers through Evan's hair. "Let's get going then. I'm starving. Dealer's choice, hamburgers and pickles. I hope you're hungry." He grinned at the older man, leading his son to the door. He led him down the driveway, watching Nick locking up, before he nervously made his way down the drive towards them.

He didn't like seeing him like this. He longed to see his gorgeous smile again. A reassuring look on his face that he recognised, not this scared shell of a man that didn't even remotely resemble the man he had left behind.

Evan clambered into the back of the car with his roller blades in his hands, buckling himself into his seat. He watched his father doing the same in the passenger seat, before he turned to try and keep an eye on his grandparent's car.

Grandpops was driving, staying close enough to Greg so he wouldn't lose sight of him and close enough for Evan to be able to see them. He waved to Nene every time they got closer, giggling as she waved back with a wide smile plastered across her lips.

"Your family really took him in." Nick spoke softly, watching his son in the back. "I've never seen him take to anyone this quickly."

"He's lucky that he got more of your personality than mine." Greg gave him a smile, turning his attention back to the road in front of him. "Polite, considerate of others, slightly nervous at first, but once they got him talking, he turned into... well, you." He admitted, waiting for his father to catch up, before he took the next turning. "He's a real little charmer."

"He can be." Nick agreed with him, watching his son waving to Jean again. "Greg... how would you feel about spendin' more time with him?"

"I'd love to." Greg had to look at him to make sure he was serious, sensing something was on the Texan's mind. "I mean... if it's alright with you."

"I never wanted to keep him from you in the first place, G. I want you to spend as much time with him as possible. He's your child too." Nick breathed in a deep breath, watching the smile spreading across his son's little lips. "I've put a lot of thought into it and I think... I feel that it's best for both of you if he lives with you for a while."

"What?" Greg gripped the steering wheel in his hands, not sure he heard him right.

"I think it's best for both of you if Evan lives with you for a while." He repeated himself, dropping his head back to his seat. "I'm not... in a great place right now. I can barely look after myself at the moment. Y'all know it too or you wouldn't constantly be treadin' on egg shells around me." Nick pointed out to him, tilting his head back to watch his son. "You're what he needs."

"Nick." Greg shook his head, pulling into a parking space, so he could speak. He shut off the engine, looking at Nick beside him. "No one is treading on egg shells; we're just worried about you. I'm worried that you're hiding how you really feel, just to put a brave face on for us all. You hide so much of yourself already. I don't want you to add this to your list of things to hide from people. And I don't want to take your son away from you, Nick."

"He's your son too."

"Believe me, I know that." Greg nodded slightly, looking at their child in the back. "You've had him for the past six years. You know everything about him. The food he likes to eat. His likes and dislikes. How to make him happy or put him to bed. I don't know how to do any of that stuff. I've never taken care of a kid before. I've never babysat before and I have no idea how to be a father. You know how to do all of that because you've always been there for him. His home is with you. I don't want to just show up and take him away from everything that he knows. It's not fair on him."

"I just... I want to do what's best for him. I'm not talkin' about right away. I still want to see him. I just... think it's best if he's with you."

Turning away from the younger man, Nick removed his seatbelt, climbing out of the car. He made his way round the other side of the car to ease the door open for his son, making sure he didn't dent the car beside them as he swung the door open.

"Stay close, baby. Watch the cars."

Evan reached out for his father's fingers, holding them tightly as they waited for the rest of the family to join them. He waved to Nene and Grandpop's as they pulled in, sticking close to his father's side as the three of them climbed out of the car.

"Hi, Nick." Grandpop's greeted him first, shaking his other hand. "Nice to see you again. Thank you for letting us meet him today. We really appreciate you letting us spend time with him."

"It's alright." Nick nodded, looking at his son beside him. "Thank you for welcomin' him into the family."

"Of course, you're both part of the family now." Daniel placed his hand on his shoulder, giving him a wide smile. "Ready for some food, Evan?" He rubbed his hands together, making his way towards the door. "I certainly am."

"Yeah." Evan noticed some tension between the adults as they made their way inside, especially between Nene and his father. He clutched his father's fingers tightly as they made their way inside the steakhouse, smelling a strong smoky scent coming from the kitchen as they made their way past the saloon doors.

"Are you alright, Greg?" His mother noticed how quiet he had suddenly become.

"Yeah... fine."

Greg walked on ahead of them, catching the attention of the hostess. He wasn't fine at all. He was still trying to process without letting on to everyone around him. He didn't know what to do with this information. The last thing he wanted was to take Evan away from everything that he knew.

"Hi... reservation for Sanders. Party of six."

"Um... let me see. Sanders... here we are, right this way." The tall blonde woman smiled at the family, fetching a few menus, before she led them through the busy restaurant towards their booth by the window. The other customers appeared to be dressed in more formal attire than the Sanders family and there didn't seem to be any children around.

Taking no notice of the looks the people were giving them, Evan clambered straight into the booth, standing on the leather to look out the window at the dining area beside the pool that sparkled in the sunlight.

"Sit down, little monster." Greg slid in beside him, scooping his legs out from under him to sit him down. "You'll get us kicked out."

"Why can't we sit out there?" Evan reluctantly turned himself round to face the table.

"Closed for a private party, I'm afraid." The hostess handed them a menu each, a little annoyed that she had to deal with a child. She didn't understand why they couldn't just leave them at home. Dining out wasn't for children. "Today's specials are printed on the board above the bar. Your waiter is Alan; he'll be with you shortly." She watched them all finding their seats, handing the last menu to the eldest woman at the table, before she left them to it. "Enjoy."

"Thank you... up tight, whatsit." Grangela muttered, sitting herself down beside her grandson, leaving Nick and Greg's parents sat the other side of Evan. She couldn't recall ever seeing her daughter in law this quiet before, so she decided to break the ice. "So, Christmas holidays are coming up soon. Since it's our first one together, we should probably start planning now. Are we all heading up to yours Jean or are we all going to squeeze into Greg's little shoebox apartment?"

"We haven't really discussed it yet." Greg answered for his mother, playfully jabbing Evan in the side as he climbed to his feet on the chair again. "No shoes on the leather, little monster." He gave him a playful tickle. "So who's drinking? I'll get the first round in."

"Oh, big spender." His mother giggled softly. "I'll have one of their margaritas. Maybe the passion fruit one to start." She read from her menu.

"Just a water, please." Greg's father designated himself as the driver for the night.

"White wine, please. Nothing too fancy or overpriced. I'm sure they'll have it in the back somewhere." Grangela stuck to her traditional drink, fishing out her reading glasses from her purse to look over the menu. "Why do they print the prices so small? I can't tell if this is a one or a seven."

"It's a seven. Nicky," Greg looked his way, trying to hold back his anger towards him to remain civil for the rest of the night. "You want anything?"

"Uh... no, nothin' for me. Thank you." He gave the younger man a smile, looking at his son between them. "Do you want some juice or somethin', Evan?"

"Evan look, they do smoothies, milk shakes and soft drinks." Jean diverted his attention away from the window to look at the menu. "Oh and look, free refills on any of their delicious smoothies. Do you like smoothies?"

Evan leant against his father's side, acting a little shy again, just as he did when they first met a few hours ago.

"You've never had one before, have you?" Nick put his arm around him, opening up his menu to take a look. "You like strawberries. Do you wonna try the strawberry one?"

"Look at the soft drinks, Evan." Jean continued to compete with Nick for the child's attention. "I don't know about you, but Greg loved Dr Pepper when he was your age."

"He had the teeth to prove it." Grangela smirked, examining her menu a little closer.

"Actually, Evan doesn't drink sodas." The Texan politely informed her.

"They rot your teeth." Evan piped in, clutching his father's arm tightly. "Daddy, can you pick?"

"Just get him an orange juice, please G."

"One orange juice coming up." Greg climbed to his feet, fishing out his wallet. He gave his mother a glare to try and persuade her to behave herself while he was gone, before he made his way off to the bar to get their drinks sorted.

"I don't even know what half of this food is." Grangela scratched her head, holding the menu an inch from her glasses to try and read the fine print. "Spinach and mushroom ravioli, where's the meat on that dish?"

"Mom, I think you're looking at the vegetarian section." Daniel pointed out the title at the top. "Flip it over; there are steaks and fish on the other side. There's burgers and pickles on the kids menu, Evan. Have you been here before?"

"Yeah, we've been a few times." Nick didn't want to confess that this was a favourite date location for him and Greg. He tried to keep the tradition alive by bringing Evan here on special occasions, but he always ordered the same thing. "My Mama actually bought him here when he first started on solids."

"You brought a baby to a restaurant?" Jean frowned in his direction.

"Well, he was almost two at the time. He had one of their grilled cheese sandwiches. My Mama wanted to treat us, before she headed back to Texas." Nick set his menu down as Evan climbed onto his lap, resting his little head back against his chest. He saw the look of envy in Jean's eyes, feeling the guilt bubbling to the surface again.

He hadn't only robbed Greg of a child. He had robbed Evan's grandparents of years of memories. Not that his own parents exactly appreciated the years of memories that they had with him.

"I'll uh... I'll go give Greg a hand." Daniel escaped the awkward silence of the table, making his way over to his son. He helped him carry the drinks back to the table; hoping things would ease up with a little liquor. "Thank you, Greg."

"Yes, thank you, sweetheart." Grangela tossed the straw decoration out of her drink, taking a large gulp of her wine. "So what are we ordering? Starters and dinner or dinner and desert. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to dig into a slice of cheesecake." She gave Evan a wide smile, adoring him even more as he shied away into his father's chest.

"There's your orange juice. Nicky, I got you water." Greg slid the drink in front of him. "I guess we'll order dinner and desert. Unless anyone wants to order a starter?" He looked round the table, wondering what had happened to his family. His mother was shooting daggers at Nick every chance she got. His father was quietly looking through his menu, trying to avoid the awkward situation they were in. Nick had completely clamed up the moment they met his parents outside and Evan was acting like a completely different child.

Not that he blamed him, this was the most awkward dinner he had sat through already and they hadn't even eaten anything yet.

"Hi, I'm Alan." A smiley young man arrived just in time. "I'm your waiter. I see you've already got some drinks, what can I get you guys started on?" He glanced around at the quiet table, watching them keeping their eyes focused on their menus. "Shall I give you guys a few more minutes?"

"No, I'm ready." Jean piped in, licking her lips as she looked through all the delicious meals laid out in fine print. "I'll have the spicy chicken pasta dish. No garlic or asparagus, please. Oh and not too much cream sauce. Do they make the pasta from scratch?"

"No, ma'am. It's all brought in."

"Oh..." Jean looked a little disappointed, looking over the menu again. "You better cancel that then."

"Mom." Greg glared at her, wishing she wasn't so fussy and picky about everything. He didn't even know where she got it from. His Nana and Papa Olaf weren't fussy at all.

"I don't want to eat something that I don't like." Jean pursed her lips together, looking further down the menu.

"I'd like to try the scampi." Grangela decided, handing him her menu. "And another white wine, please." She handed the young man her empty glass, giving her grandson a tipsy smile. "I haven't had anything to drink all day."

"Make that two; I'll have the scampi as well." Daniel handed the man his menu, urging his wife to make a decision.

"Can I have the rib eye steak, medium rare, please? And the children's beef burger with fries and pickles for him." Nick motioned towards his son in his lap, watching the waiter nodding as he jotted it down.

"I'll take the rib eye steak too." Greg decided, watching his mother flipping the menu over, still trying to decide. "Mom, c'mon. We're starving."

"Alright, alright... I'll have the herb crusted filet of salmon, without the asparagus and no mashed potato either."

The waiter frowned slightly, pausing before he wrote it down. "Ma'am, without the asparagus or mash it's just a filet of salmon."

"She'll take it as is with all the trimmings." Daniel snatched her menu away from her, handing it over to the waiter. "Thank you." He waved the younger man off, much to his wife's annoyance.

"Daniel," She frowned at him. "I don't like asparagus, you know that."

"I'll eat it then. You can have some of my peas that come with the scampi."

"Here I thought Evan was the only child at the table." Grangela cracked a joke, playfully sticking her tongue out at her daughter in law. "So Nick, any plans for the Christmas holidays?"

"Uh, no... not yet." He shook his head. "My parents just split up, so I don't think my family will be celebratin' Christmas this year."

"Oh that's awful." Grangela held her heart. "How long were they married?"

"Uh, they just celebrated their fiftieth anniversary last year."

"All that time for nothing. What a waste." Grangela shook her head, smiling at the young waiter as he returned with her white wine refill. "Oh, thank you. You're an angel."

"You're welcome." He smiled at her, clasping his hands together as he looked around at the rest of the table. "Your food should be ready shortly, let me know if there's anything else I can get you."

"Thank you." Daniel nodded to the younger man, turning his attention back to Nick. "I'm sorry about your folks, Nick. You and Evan are completely welcome to join us for the holidays." He gave his wife beside him a slight nudge, trying to get her attention.

"Of course," Jean quickly nodded her head, answering almost robotically. "It'll be our first one together as a family. Have you ever been to California before, Evan?"

Evan tilted his head back against his father's chest to look into his eyes a moment, before he shook his head. "We flew on a air plane to Texas. Daddy let me sit by the window. We watched the buildings getting smaller and smaller as we went up and up. Higher than the clouds." He raised his hands above his head, getting smiles out of his new family.

"Well, you won't have to fly to get to us. Your father, Greg always drives up to see us. It's quite a long drive though. Greg used to get really car sick when he was your age. Couldn't drive anywhere for long periods of time, otherwise we'd be pulling over so he could puke." Jean gave her son a playful grin. "Are you alright on long car rides, Evan?"

"He seems to be." Nick answered for him. "We've never gone as far as California in the car, but he's never really had any trouble with motion sickness before. The car used to be the only thing that could get him to sleep when he was a baby. I think he actually slept more in his car seat than he did in his crib."

"Greg was the same at that age. When we did finally get him to sleep in his crib, he used to bang his head against the bars and wake himself up. He wriggled so much; we had to strap him into the pushchair, just to keep him asleep." Jean grinned at her son again, turning her head as she smelled food. She hoped it was heading their way, but the red headed waitress stopped at the next table over.

"Do you sleep through the night now?" Grangela asked her great grandson. "Greg here was always waking up in the middle of the night. He slept in his parent's bed until he was nearly nine."

"It wasn't nine." Greg protested, shrinking back into his seat as both his parents nodded, confirming her story.

"Most nights, it was just him and his father on the sofa." Jean filled them in. She turned her attention towards her grandson, enviously watching the way he was with Nick. She smiled as she studied his little features, seeing so much of Greg in him. She had always imagined what her grandchildren would look like one day, but Evan exceeded all of her dreams.

He was a perfect, beautiful creation and she had Nick to thank for him.

As much as she hated him for keeping a member of their family from them, especially one as important as her very first grandchild, she also felt compassion towards him. She wanted to give him a much needed hug, but she couldn't bring herself to make the first move. She had never met Nick's parents before, but she despised them already.

"So, what's everyone doing this weekend?" Jean asked, looking around the table. "We have a few birthdays, thanksgivings, fourth of Julys... a few years worth of family gatherings to make up for, so we might as well get started. I know Greg's off shift, so Nick; do you think you can make it over to ours for the weekend?"

Nick pursed his lips together, looking at Greg beside him a moment to make sure it was okay, before he gave the woman a nod. "Sure... I can make it." He regretted it the moment the words escaped his lips, but everyone at the table looked so excited already. Their first family get together with their first grandchild.


	26. Chapter 25 - Big Changes

**Chapter Twenty Five - Big Changes**

Clambering over the boxes in his bathroom doorway, Greg hurried for the front door with his toothbrush still in his mouth, curious to find out who would be calling at this hour. He had literally just got back from his double shift at the lab. He didn't know what time it was, but it must have been early. Too early for door to door sales or even for someone from the lab to call him back.

Greg flung the door open, pulling the toothbrush out of his mouth as he saw a woman he didn't recognise on the other side. She was wearing a thick pair of black glasses on the end of her nose. It made her eyes look a little beady, but she couldn't have been more than thirty. Her outfit said lawyer, but he didn't exactly know any in the Las Vegas area.

"Mr Sanders?" The red head finally spoke, extending her hand towards him. She was wearing a gold watch beneath a smart button down jacket, hiding away the cocktail dress she was wearing underneath. "I'm Alicia Bryce, your realtor." She smiled as the younger man finally took her hand, looking a little less confused.

Greg gulped down the toothpaste he still had in his mouth, presenting her with a slight smile. "I thought we weren't meeting until Friday?"

Alicia smirked, lowering her hands to her sides. "It is Friday, Mr Sanders. Nine o' clock, so I know I'm not early. Have you changed your mind about viewing some houses?"

"No... I just... I didn't realise it was Friday already. Come in, I'll just be a minute." He opened the door a little wider, giving her a smile as she looked over the boxes of stuff everywhere in his apartment. "Yeah, I never exactly unpacked. Make yourself at home. I'll just... go finish up." Greg hurried back to the bathroom with his toothbrush, fishing out a new shirt from the laundry hamper that wasn't stained with blood from his crime scene.

"If you don't mind me asking. What line of work are you in?" Alicia queried, peering inside a box in the front room that had been poorly packed with family photos and old cassette tapes. She lifted out a sea shell framed photo, smiling as she looked at the picture of the young child in the arms of his father on the deck of a boat.

"Oh, I'm in law enforcement." Greg rejoined her in the front room, fishing his sneakers out from under a chair. "A crime scene investigator. That's me and my Dad back in California." He saw the photo in her hands, watching her carefully setting it down where she found it again.

"Do you sail?"

"Uh, I used to. Not so much anymore though. Not a lot of sea around in Las Vegas." He smirked, grabbing his keys off the side. "Okay, I'm ready."

Alicia smiled at him, leading the way to the door. "I've picked out a few places for us to view today. Friendly neighbourhoods like you requested. Is it just you or...?" She turned to watch him locking the door to his apartment. "Seems like a man like yourself would be better off in a condo or something, rather than a big family home."

"This is just a temporary living situation." Greg pointed to his apartment, wanting to leave it at that for now. "Am I following you or..."

"We can take my car." The woman retrieved her car keys from her pocket. "I don't see a wedding ring on your finger. Is it a divorce situation? Need a bigger place so the kids can stay with you?"

"Something like that." He followed her towards the stairs, hoping it didn't come to that. As much as he wanted to be closer to Evan, he didn't want to rip him away from the only home he had ever known.

The first house they looked at made Greg cringe the moment they pulled up outside. He really didn't want to go inside, but he thought he should at least give the place a chance. The grass in the front yard was overgrown and patchy. The building itself was peeling with paint, inside and out. It had a very cold feel to it and the half bathroom right next to the front door was in dire need of an air freshener.

It smelt worse than decaying dead bodies in there.

"Little bit of paint, some curtains, your own furniture," Alicia led him through to the kitchen, giving him a smile. "This place could be a real home to a small family."

"Is that the backyard?" He looked out the window, folding his arms across his chest as it was six by six foot square of concrete with wire fences surrounding it.

"Yes, but the front yard is bigger. Wait until you see the closet space in the bedroom."

"Is this seriously all I can afford in my price range?" Greg stopped her from walking away.

"You asked me to start at the bottom of the barrel. Start with the cheapest and work our way up." Alicia reminded him, changing her direction to the front door. "The next one is just down the street if you're not a fan of this one. It has two floors unlike this one, three bedrooms, two bathrooms and a much bigger back yard."

"What if we start at the top and work our way down?" Greg had never had to buy a house before. He barely looked at apartments before he signed the lease. He had no idea what to look for, but he needed a place fast if he wanted Evan to have a stable home. "Can we do that?"

"Sure, we can start from the top. I don't mind changing the order around." Alicia ushered him out the door, locking it up behind them. "The drive is a little further, but this house is one of my favourites. The family just moved out a few days ago. They moved back to their routes to be closer to their family. Shame because they just finished remodelling the house and it's beautiful."

Greg hoped it was much better than this place, but he didn't have high hopes. He climbed back in the car with her, feeling a headache coming on during the long drive to the other house.

When they finally pulled up outside the next house, he thought she was joking. It looked as though they had just driven onto the set of a Hollywood movie. The driveway was beautifully paved, leading up to a three door garage on the side of the house. A small path led through the front yard to a large arched doorway. He could see a palm tree sticking out over the other side and the sound of running water coming from somewhere.

They followed the path through the arch to a secluded courtyard inside, complete with potted plants and a water feature that looked like a fresh water spring it was so blue.

"Before we go inside," Greg stopped her at the glass front door, tempted to look inside. If he couldn't afford it, he didn't want to live with the disappointment. "Ball park figure, how much is this one?"

"Um... slightly north of five hundred thousand." Alicia unlocked the door, leading him inside. "Only slightly. A place like this goes quick."

"I can't afford that." He stayed at the door. "I need a family home, not a palace."

"It's a stretch, but you asked to start at the top of your price range. This place is right at the top and it was built for a family. The couple who owned this house before had six children." Alicia clicked her heels against the marble floor, making her way through the large entrance hall of the house. She turned to watch Greg taking a hesitant step inside, giving him a smile as she ushered him through. "The master kitchen is right through here."

"Master kitchen?" He followed the click of her heels to the show room kitchen. The island in the centre was stupidly big, but he liked the layout of the appliances. The mahogany wood cabinets didn't exactly go with the rest of the modern layout, but it wasn't terrible.

"There's a half bath just off the kitchen. Utility room complete with a washer and dryer. Ignore the holes in the wall. The family who lived here before had four washers set up against this wall. Should be an easy fix." Alicia ushered him through to the next room. "Dining area or family room, your choice. These doors here open up to the back yard."

Stepping up to the doors, Greg dropped his jaw, looking at the massive pool that covered the entire stretch of the garden. It went round in an L shape around the patio, but it looked across at the neighbour's hot tub which he didn't like.

Alicia continued the tour up the spiral staircase, sensing she was losing his interest as they toured the five bedrooms up there. As much as he liked the design of the outside, the inside didn't feel like a home at all. He wanted something more like Nick's place.

A place where his son could run around and play. A place Nick would be safe.

* * *

Making his way into the locker room after another long shift, Warrick yawned widely, relieved that he was finally heading home to his wife. They hadn't been getting on that great lately, but tonight she agreed on a truce and a quiet evening in alone, rather than a busy night out on the town again. He stopped dead in his tracks at the door to the locker room, finding the very man he had been trying to avoid for the past few days. He didn't know how to deal with what he had told him the other day, so instead he was trying to avoid it.

There was no avoiding him now.

Nick screwed up a letter he had been reading, angrily tossing it across the room, before he started pounding his fists against the lockers in front of him.

If he didn't stop him, he could do some serious damage to his hands or something, so he had to step in.

"Nicky. Nick, cut it out." Warrick attempted to restrain him. "Nicky. Stop!" He finally snapped, shoving the man across the room. He watched the man crashing against the bench in the middle of the room, seeing the blood streaming down his fingers. "What the hell, man?"

"Just leave me alone." He cradled his hand against his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Can't do that, Nicky. Let me see." Warrick attempted to reach out for his hand, but the younger man quickly snatched it away. "Give me your hand, you frigging idiot." He forcibly pulled it away from him this time, examining his swollen fingers and cracked knuckles. He had two gaping wounds on them, but his fingers didn't appear to be broken. "I think there's a first aid kit in the break room."

"I thought you didn't want anythin' to do with me."

"You dropped a bombshell on me, Nick. I found out that my best friend, my brother had been lying to me for years. How would you feel if it was the other way around?" Sighing heavily, he took a seat beside Nick, grabbing the crumpled up letter from the floor. He unfolded it across his leg, smoothing out the creases as best he could. "Eviction notice?" He furrowed his brow, reading through the first part of it, before Nick snatched it away from him. "Thirty days to vacate the property? What's that all about?"

"It's none of your business."

"When you start tearing up your hands at work, you made it my business. They can't kick you out of your own house, Nicky."

"Oh, _he_ can." Nick dropped his head into his good hand, running his fingers back through his hair. "It's my father. He helped me buy the place. He gave me the extra money I needed for it on the condition that his name was on it. He flew over to sign the papers, insisted that it was safer that way. I didn't think..." He wiped the tears from his cheek, sitting himself up straight. "He's kickin' me out because I don't want to go along with his lies anymore."

"The lies about, Evan?" Warrick assumed, "He's kicking both of you out?"

"We're dead to him." He spoke in a soft whisper. "It's for the best. We don't need him anymore."

Warrick lifted his gaze to look his friend in the eye, sighing softly as the response was obvious. "You uh... you and Evan, you can stay with us for a while. We got a spare room with a pull out. It's better than you two being thrown out onto the streets." He quickly stopped him from arguing. "Just until you find a new place. I'll even help you look. One of Tina's girlfriends is dating a realtor. A pretty successful one too, from what I hear."

"I don't need you to do that." Nick shook his head.

"C'mon Nick, you've gotta accept help some time. If you keep on like this, you're gonna have nothing left." He turned his attention back to the man's hand, looking at his shaky fingers. "We better get that seen to. Don't make me drag you." Warrick gave him a playful smile, pushing himself to his feet. He grabbed the door to the locker room for him, watching Nick retrieving his letter, before he followed him. He cradled his hand close to his chest all the way to the break room, sitting himself down at the table in the middle, while Warrick fetched the kit from one of the top cupboards.

"Are you sure you know what you're doin'?" Nick lay his hand out on the table, watching his former friend going through the first aid kit.

"My Grandma used to patch up my busted knees all the time. I know enough." Warrick gave him a smile, lifting his hand from the table. "Can you curl your fingers?" He watched the man wincing as he curled his fingers into his palm. "Doesn't look like you broke anything. You should probably still get it checked out." He grabbed the alcoholic wipes first, carefully cleaning the cuts to Nick's fingers and knuckles. "What happened between you and your father? I always thought you were pretty close."

"It was a lie. It was always a lie." He sighed softly, leaning back in his seat. "Nothin' I ever do is good enough for him. His son bein' a freak didn't exactly help."

"You're not a freak." Warrick assured him, reaching into the kit for some bandages. "You're just..." He couldn't think of the right word at the moment, so he remained silent. "You really had him like that... Evan, I mean... without telling anyone?"

Nick shook his head, softly biting his bottom lip. "Sara... she knows. Only because she was there when it happened." He quickly defended his friend. "I was still out cold when she did some snoopin' around and figured it all out."

"Wow... she managed to keep that one quiet."

"I asked her not to tell anyone. Don't blame her." He wished he could repair the relationship between Sara and Greg, but he wasn't exactly talking to the younger man at the moment. He thought that after the dinner with his folks, he had forgiven him. At least a little bit, but it was back to avoiding each other in the hallways again now. "It's my fault. All my fault."

"Shouldering the blame isn't going to make it go away." Warrick sounded like his grandmother, nursing the injured hand of his best friend. "One part I don't get," He confessed, giving the younger man a curious look. "You have both... you know... don't make me say it out loud. I remember basic biology of how babies are made... if you carried, Evan... you had to of... you know... so unless you... impregnated yourself then..."

The man continued to squirm, bringing the slightest smile to Nick's lips.

"Just ask me what you want to ask me, Warrick."

"Who's the other parent?" He blurted it out. "I'm guessing that... _she..._ didn't die during childbirth."

"No..." Pursing his lips together, Nick watched his former friend bandaging his hand up, trying not to make it too tight in the process. " _She_... never existed. _She_ was a _he_ and _he_... he was Greg." He decided the truth was the only option if he ever wanted to get out of this pit of lies he was in. "Greg is Evan's other father."

Warrick stared into his eyes for the longest moment, mostly out of disbelief, before he turned to anger. "And he just left you?"

"No." He quickly shook his head. "He didn't know. I only just told him a few days ago."

"Oh, Nicky." Warrick sighed, pinning the bandage into place. "I can't believe you would do something like that to someone, least of all, Greg. I always knew that you were close... I just figured... I don't know what I figured. But I didn't think that you two were... you know."

"Does it bother you?"

" _No_." He answered a little too quickly and slightly more high pitched than normal. He gulped softly, shaking his head this time. "No... absolutely no." He sucked in a sharp breath. "Still, quite a mess you've got yourself into."

"Tell me about it." Nick lifted his hand from the table, rubbing his knuckles through the bandages. "I feel like the whole worlds against me at the moment. I know it's my own fault, but I'm startin' to feel as though I'm back in that box and every lie I've ever told is crumblin' away the walls beside me, cavin' in more dirt on top of me."

"You're not." He placed his hand over Nick's wrist. "You're _never_ going back there. I can promise you that." Warrick let go of his wrist, clearing away the first aid kit. "There's no way I'm letting that happen again." He gave the younger man a slight smile as he closed up the kit. "How does it feel? The hand, I mean."

"A little better." He flexed his fingers, feeling the stiffness in his bones. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Warrick pushed himself to his feet, returning the kit to where he found it. "So you told Greg all of this a few days ago. How did he take it? I'm guessing not great, considering how moody he's been lately."

"Yeah, I'm feelin' the full wrath of Greg at the moment. Not that I blame him." Nick leant back in his seat, cradling his sore hand against his chest. "I thought he was never gonna speak to me again when I first told him. He didn't until I invited him out to meet, Evan." He felt a smile tugging at his lips from the memory of their first meeting. "They get on great. Watchin' them together... it was as though they had never been apart. I had dinner with him and his folks the other night. They've invited us up to theirs for the weekend. I'm not sure if I'll go, but Evan can't stop talkin' about it. I haven't really spoken to Greg since."

"You gotta go then." Warrick surmised, sitting himself in front of him again. "For your boy. Evan. Greg will come around. He can't exactly hold a grudge forever."

"You don't know, Greg."

"Do you... do you still have feelings for Greg? You must have at one point if the two of you." He didn't want to think about his two friends like that, but it was hard not to after he told him that Evan was Greg's son. He had always thought that Evan looked like someone else more than Nick, now it was obvious that his features came from Greg.

"I do... does that bother you?" He glanced up at him.

The older man shrugged his shoulders together, clasping his hands together on the table. "It sounds like you were expecting me to reject you over love. C'mon Nick, you know me. I'm not exactly against... I'm not against people who are... I didn't know that you were... I mean, it's okay that you are and it doesn't bother me... but you could have told me that much." He finally managed to piece his sentences together. "Did you think that I wouldn't understand or something? I'm not like your college buddies back home, I wouldn't... I'm your friend, Nick. Your brother. You can trust me with anything."

"Like you did with your marriage?" Nick asked, realising that was a low blow.

"That? It was just a spare of the moment decision." Warrick defended himself. "It only happened what... seven or eight weeks ago now. You've been hiding a kid for six years. You've been hiding a part of yourself for a lot longer than that. You keeping something like this from me... it feels as though you don't trust me anymore. Maybe you never did."

Sighing softly, Nick pushed himself to his feet, holding his sore hand close to his chest. "I'm not sure if I even know how to trust." He admitted, making a move for the door. He reached for his phone as it started to ring, feeling his heart stopping in his throat as it was the call he had been waiting for all week.

His doctor.

"Stokes." He just about remembered his name, taking in deep breaths as he listened to the man on the other end. He started talking about his blood work results, using a lot of doctor speak that he didn't understand.

 _"Anyway, we got your lab results back and all the tests confirm that you are pregnant, so now we need to get you scheduled for an ultrasound. Can you do... next Monday?"_

Nick breathed in and out a few times, his mouth gaping like a fish. He felt as though he was about to pass out. This wasn't even supposed to happen the first time, but a second time. How was this even possible? Why was this happening now?

 _"Mr Stokes, are you still there?"_

"Y-yeah," Nick put his back to the wall to stabilise himself, slowly sliding down it until he knelt down on the floor. "Are you sure the tests are positive?"

 _"As I said, your tests show a spike in hCG levels and your blood work confirms it. Congratulations, Mr Stokes, you're pregnant."_ The man said it more enthusiastically this time. _"We'll get you booked in for some more tests and another ultrasound as soon as possible and we'll monitor your pregnancy more carefully, so we can avoid the complications you experienced the last time around."_

"Thank you." Nick nodded into his phone, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. "Monday is great." He managed to get a word in, realising that gave him less than three days to tell, Greg. If he was going to tell him at all. Would he accept another baby this soon? Would he even want one?

"Nick, what are you doing on the floor?" Grissom appeared in front of him, clutching a stack of folders close to his chest. He watched the man pocketing the phone he had been staring at, before he struggled to stand. "Are you alright? What happened to your hand?" He became a concerned father.

"It's... nuthin'... I'm fine." Nick absently shook his head, lowering his hand to his side. "Can I... can I take the rest of my shift off? There's somethin' I've gotta do."

"Of course. Make sure that you get that seen to." He pointed to his hand. "Nick, if you need some more time off..."

"I'm fine." He cut him off a little too quickly, motioning over his shoulder. "I'll bring Catherine up to speed on our case, then I'll head out. Thank you." Nick hurried down the hall before Grissom changed his mind, making a beeline for the stairs as he spotted Greg ahead of him. He couldn't face talking to him yet. He had to figure out how to word it, before he said anything to him. He didn't want to just blurt it right out after everything else he had just told him.

It was way too soon and way too complicated to deal with another baby. But he couldn't bring himself to even think about the alternative.

With his truck insight, Nick quickened his pace, eager to get out of there as fast as possible. During his hast to go home, he missed the Denali making its way back from a crime scene.

Sara quickly slammed on the brakes, jolting forwards against the steering wheel. She could feel the seatbelt biting into her neck and her breath catching in her throat. She couldn't see any sign of him in front of her. Had she hit him? Was he under the truck?

She was too afraid to look.

"Sara." Nick appeared at her window.

"Oh my god." Sara grabbed her heart, rolling her eyes at the man. "Jeez, Nick. What the hell were you doing? I could have killed you."

"You didn't. Sorry." He spoke softly, opening her door for her to get some air. "Are you okay?"

"Besides needing a vacation? I'm fine." She unhooked her seatbelt, shutting off the engine. "Where are you off to in such a hurry anyway? Aren't you still on shift?"

"Uh... no..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm goin' home. Somethin' came up."

"Something?" She searched his face for more answers.

Nick looked around the parking lot, giving the woman a slight nod. "Yeah, a lot of things came up and I need... space or air, anythin' but this. I don't really know yet. I can't tell you yet because someone else needs to know first." He gave her a smile, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Sorry."

"It's alright." Sara shook her head. "How are things between you two anyway?"

"Not great." He shrugged his shoulders together. "He's gettin' on well with Evan though, so I suppose that's somethin'. I guess you've still got the worst of Greg's wrath though."

"Little bit. Not that I blame him... or you." She quickly added. "I made the decision to keep your secret. Before you were even awake in the hospital, _I_ made the decision to keep what happened a secret because _I_ wanted to protect you. You're my family, Nick. I'll always protect you."

"Even from cars." He gave her a smile. "Still, I'm sorry that things between you and Greg are so awkward. I wish I could do somethin' to fix it. My grandmother always said that liars get what's comin' to them eventually. Now I realise how right she was. My whole world is falling apart and there's nothin' I can do to fix it."

"You'll find a way out of it." Sara assured him, climbing down from the truck to give him a hug. "Just tackle it one problem at a time." She gently smoothed her hand across his shoulders, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes. "You know that you can always ask me for help. You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?"

"Yeah... I do." He nodded his head, wishing he could tell her, but he wanted Greg to be the first to know. He owed him that much. "Thank you, Sara. I gotta get goin'. I wonna spend some time with Evan, before I have to take him off to school."

"Have fun."

"I'll try." Nick waved her off, carefully making his way round the car park this time to his truck. He stayed seated behind the wheel for a few minutes, wishing he could catch a break. Homeless with another baby on the way wasn't exactly ideal, especially with his current relationship status with the father.

This rollercoaster ride he was on was starting to derail and he didn't know how much longer he could keep himself grounded.


	27. Chapter 26 - For the Child

**Chapter Twenty Six - For The Child**

 _Easing himself towards the edge of the bed, Nick held his hand over his side, breathing in a deep breath, before he attempted to push himself to his feet. He staggered down the hall, clutching the wall every step of the way, until he reached the front door. He pulled it open slowly, shielding the sun from his eyes._

 _"Hi, Sara. What's up?" He supported himself against the door, presenting her with his best smile._

 _"What's up? You've been ignoring my calls for days. I was worried sick about you." Sara pushed past him into the house, turning to watch the man struggling to close the front door again. "I need an explanation, Nick. Last week, you had an emergency c-section. You had a baby. How does that happen?"_

 _Nick sighed heavily, making his way over to the sofa. He eased himself down onto the leather, clutching the wound to his stomach as he did. "At this point, you know about as much as I know." He watched her taking a seat, wishing he could have another shot of pain killer's right about now. "I only just found out that I was pregnant a month or so ago. I went to my doc for this pain in my side, thinkin' it was cancer or somethin'. They did a bunch of tests and figured out that I had a baby growin' inside me."_

 _"And you never knew that you...?"_

 _"No." Nick shook his head, wishing that she didn't know either. "When I was fourteen, my Mama took me to this specialist doc. I was much shorter than all the other kids in my class. My regular doc thought there was somethin' wrong with my hormone levels, but they didn't come up with anythin'. I pretty much forgot about it... until now, obviously."_

 _"So the baby, it's Greg's?" Sara gave him a curious look._

 _Nick nodded his head slightly, pursing his lips together as he stared across the room. "I... haven't told him yet. I don't know how to. He's just started his career. I don't wonna ruin that for him." He defended himself._

 _"It's his baby too, Nick. He has the right to know."_

 _The Texan smirked, adjusting himself against the sofa back. "He left me because I wanted kids someday and he didn't. He said kids weren't in his future. He didn't wonna be just another breeder. So I let him go. I'll tell him," He gave her a slight nod. "I just wonna give him some time to settle in first."_

 _"Okay, so what are you going to do about the baby?"_

 _Nick shrugged his shoulders together, tilting his head to the side to look at her. "He's my baby. I'm gonna do what's right for him."_

 _Sara gave him a smile, finally shrugging off her jacket. "This is insane. I haven't been able to sleep worrying about you. What have you told Grissom, about you taking some time off?"_

 _"I got some vacation days saved up."_

 _"If you tell him the truth, you could get six months paternity leave for the baby."_

 _"If I did that, everyone would know about me by the end of the week." Nick shook his head, adjusting himself to a comfier position. "I'll be alright. I went by the hospital to see him this mornin'. He's scheduled for a bowel resection in a few hours."_

 _"Bowel resection?" Sara didn't know what that was, but it didn't sound too good._

 _"Yeah, they had to do an op on his stomach the other day, now part of his bowel is dyin'. If they leave it in, it'll get infected so they have to cut it out." Nick cringed at the thought of complete strangers cutting up his baby boy, but there was nothing he could do for him. "He's barely a week old and he's already had three operations. This one will be his fourth. They said I could come by once he's out. Not that I'll be of much use to him."_

 _"You're his father. You can be there for him." Sara reached out for his hand, weaving their fingers together. "You know where I am if you need me. I can come with you, sit with you, drive you... anything you want."_

 _"I might have to take you up on that offer. I've been takin' taxis back and forth since. I'm not allowed to drive until this thing heals." He motioned towards his stomach."Hurts like hell."_

 _"You just have to take it easy." Sara gave him a smile. "So, have you picked a name out yet, for the baby?"_

 _"I have." Nick nodded, smiling as he looked into her eyes. "Evan Gregory Stokes. Evan… after my Grandpa on my mother's side. He died when I was around nine or ten, but from what I remember of the man, he was a good man. None of my sisters have used the name and I didn't want to stick with the family tradition of namin' the first boy, William. Things are confusin' enough around Christmas at the ranch without addin' another William to the mix."_

 _"Evan, I like it. It's cute." Sara grinned again, overhearing his stomach rumbling with hunger. "Have you eaten yet? I brought some groceries with me just in case you didn't have the chance to shop." She pushed herself to her feet, making a move for the door. "Hold tight, I'll be right back."_

 _"Sara," He called out to her, giving her a smile as she looked round at him. "Thank you... for bein' here for me. It means a lot."_

 _"You're welcome. Besides, I wouldn't miss your birthday." Sara gave him a wide smile, waving to him before she disappeared out the door. She hurried back to the car to fetch the groceries she had picked up for him, helping him to square them away in the kitchen, so she could whip him up something to eat._

 _A few hours later she helped him into the car, driving him up the hospital to see the tiny little miracle. He looked smaller than the baby she saw the other week. He seemed to be covered with even more tubes and wires, breaking her heart._

 _He was so delicate and so helpless, but he was still fighting._

 _For the longest time, Sara had felt as though she had no family. She had distanced herself from her foster siblings growing up to avoid any kind of attachment or the loss that came with it when they eventually left. She never got attached to anyone at the San Francisco lab, but the team at the Las Vegas lab had welcomed her into their arms like part of the family from day one._

 _Now she was in love with her supervisor. She had a friend in Catherine. A brother in Nick and now a nephew that she adored more than anything in the world and she would do anything she could to protect them._

* * *

"Aunt Sara," Evan clambered onto the empty chair beside her, watching her finishing her sentence in her book, before she lifted her gaze to meet his. "How much longer will Daddy be?" He got called back in for an all hands on deck, just minutes before they were supposed to leave for California, so Sara offered to help out babysitting.

"Uh... he should be here soon." Sara checked the time on her watch, realising it was way past his bed time now. "They were just finishing up last time I checked on them." She checked her phone on the table for any messages, but there was still no word. "So, your Daddy told me that you're going to California this weekend." She tried to distract him. "Are you excited?"

Evan shrugged his shoulders up to his ears, before he relaxed back into his seat. "Daddy Greg is still mad at Daddy."

"He is?"

It didn't exactly come as a surprise to Sara, but she thought they would at least keep their disagreements away from their child. She had to live in the middle of her parents fighting, shouting and throwing punches at each other for years. She knew what that was like and she couldn't bear the thought of another child having to go through something like that.

"Daddy says that I have to live with Greg soon." He spoke softly, anxiously biting his bottom lip.

"He told you that?" Sara raised an eyebrow in his direction, sensing his fear over leaving his father behind.

Evan shook his head, giving her a guilty little look. "I heard Daddy talking to Grandma on the phone after I was in bed. Grandma seemed mad."

Sara nodded her head slightly, only imagining how pissed Mrs Stokes would be at the thought of her grandchild living with Greg. "Do you want to live with your Daddy Greg?"

"I don't know." The child shrugged his shoulders up to his ears again, sliding himself off his chair.

"It's scary, huh?" Sara spoke from experience. "You know I moved around a lot as a child. My father... he died when I was little and my mother was too sick to take care of me and my brother, so we had to live with a few foster families. Unlike the families that I had to live with, your Daddies both love you so much. They wouldn't make you do anything that you don't want to do."

Evan collected up his toy cars off the sofa, driving them around the edge of the table towards Sara's hands. "If Daddy Greg lived with us, then we can all live together."

Sara gave him a smile, gently combing her fingers through his tousled hair. "Well if I know your Daddies, and I think I know them pretty well. I know they'll do everything they can to make this work." She brushed her thumb across his little cheek, giving him a warm smile. "They both love you very much. This weekend will be good for all of you. Plus you'll get to go to the beach. You can build sandcastles, collect seashells, and paddle in the ocean."

Evan gave her a wide grin, grabbing himself another chip from the open bag she had on the table. "I still can't swim yet."

"That's okay; you don't have to know how to swim to paddle in the ocean. You can jump the waves as they come in or stand still and let the sand run through your toes. I haven't been since I was a child. Make sure your Daddy takes you." Sara returned his smile, watching him sleepily rubbing his eyes. "Are you getting tired, sweetie?"

"No." He yawned widely, dropping to his knees to play with his toys on the floor. He crawled beneath the table, driving his car in the direction of mini fridge. "Aunt Sara." Evan stopped again, returning to her side.

"Yes, sweetie." Sara couldn't help but smile, tearing her eyes away from her book again.

"Do you want the blue car or the red one?" He offered her one of his toys from his little hands.

"Hm… blue, please." Sara set down her book, taking the toy from his hands. She smiled in the direction of the doorway, relieved to see her significant other again after such a long day apart. "Hi."

"Hi. Hello, Evan." Grissom joined them in the break room, letting the door swing closed behind him. "I didn't know you were here."

Evan hurried across the room, digging out another car from the sofa cushions. "I have a black car for you."

"Oh, thank you. Gosh, this looks old. It looks a lot like a mustang." He noted, turning the car upside down to examine it closer. He brushed his thumb across the base, smiling softly as he saw the name 'Nicky' scratched into the bottom. "These must have been your father's toys."

"Grandma gave them to me. We're going to California tomorrow."

"I'm babysitting until Nick gets back." Sara waved to him from the table, adoring the man even more as he knelt down beside the child, inspecting his artwork. For a man who couldn't find his place in a social gathering, he knew exactly what to say around a child. It gave her high hopes for their future children, but she still wasn't so sure if she could go through the labour part of bringing a child into the world.

Grissom eventually pushed himself to his feet, holding his knees as he pushed himself upright. "Warrick and Brass are bringing our suspect in as we speak. He should be in the station in a few minutes."

"And the child?" Sara whispered, making sure Evan was preoccupied.

"We found her. She's safe and sound." He gave her a reassuring smile. "Catherine and Nick are reuniting her with her mother at the hospital. They should be back in a few minutes, meaning we all have the rest of the night off. Ecklie's team are coming in a little earlier to pick up the slack."

"You mean you actually have time to meet me for dinner today? I'm surprised you can find the time in your busy schedule." Sara grinned back at her partner, adoring his boyish grin. She stared at his lips poised in front of her a moment, until the door to the break room opened again.

"Daddy!" Evan leapt to his feet, running into the man's arms.

"Hi, baby boy." Nick swept him into his embrace, hugging him tightly against his chest. "Ohh, I missed you. I'm sorry I took so long." He gently smoothed his hand up and down his back, hooking his sore hand beneath his legs as he turned to face his supervisor and Sara at the table. "Thank you for pickin' him up, Sara."

"You're welcome. Have fun in California. Bye, Evan." Sara waved to him. "Make sure you build lots of sand castles for us."

"Here, let me." Grissom climbed to his feet, helping Nick to gather the child's things from the floor. He loaded his crayons and toys back into the Iron man backpack, handing it over to Nick. "Are you driving down there tonight?" He gave him a concerned look.

"Yeah." Nick lifted his son a little higher against his chest, taking the backpack off his supervisor's hands. "I was gonna wait until my shift finished, so we could drive over in the mornin', but since we're finishin' early today I can drive over while he's sleepin'."

"Are you sure you're up for a four hour drive?" Grissom noted the dark circles around the younger man's eyes and the bandage still wrapped around his hand. He didn't want to be rude, but he looked awful.

"Yeah, I'll be alright."

"Isn't Greg driving there with you?" Sara gave him a curious look.

"He wants us to take separate cars, easier to get back that way. I think he already took off. We better head home and finish packin' if we wonna get movin'."

"Drive safe." Grissom warned him, tempted to drive him there himself from the exhaustion written all over the younger man's face. He watched the man disappearing down the hall, turning his attention back to Sara beside him. "Do you think he'll be alright?"

Sara shrugged her shoulders together, gently tapping his hand. "This weekend will be good for them both. You know I can't remember the last time we took a weekend off together." She smiled at him, climbing to her feet from the table. "I'll meet you at your place when we're done."

"Okay." He nodded in her direction, reaching for his cell from his hip as it started to ring. "Grissom."

Sara gave him a smile, stepping out into the hall, just in time to come to face to face with Greg. She expected him to ignore her and walk on by again, but he actually slowed down, giving her eye contact for the first time in days. "I hear you're off to California for the weekend." She decided to make small talk.

"Nick tell you that?" He gave her a curious look. "He tell you anything else that I should know?"

"Okay, I deserve that." Sara stuffed her hands into her pockets, softly biting her bottom lip. "Actually, Evan mentioned that you were still mad at his Daddy. He seems to think that he's going to be taken away from Nick to live with you soon. Is that true?"

"Not my idea. Nick cooked it up all by himself." Greg turned on his heels, making his way towards the locker room. He dropped to the bench in the middle with a heavy sigh, dropping his head into his hands as Sara followed him in. "What do you want me to do, Sara; tell Nick that I don't want him to live with me?"

"No. It's none of my business what you do. I just want to make sure that you don't lose sight of what's important here." She took a seat beside him, seeing the glaze in his eyes. "Evan is your son. You have just as much right to see him as Nick does, but he's a scared little boy. All he's ever known is Nick looking after him. He's scared that you're going to come in and take him away from that."

"It wasn't even my idea. Nick was the one who suggested it. Dropped it on me more like."

"Well, what do you want, Greg?"

"Why do people keep asking me that?" He lifted his head from his hands, looking up at her.

"You left Nick once before because you didn't want a future with him. He has everything that you didn't want now. Are you back for good or are you going to leave as soon as things get serious again?"

Greg shook his head, running his hands across his jeans. "I want Nick. I came back for Nick." He admitted the truth to her. "I thought I knew him. I thought he could never hurt me."

"He's only human, Greg. He makes mistakes, just as much as the rest of us."

Sighing heavily, Greg pushed himself to his feet, anxiously running his fingers through his hair. "Do you ever wish that you could go back in time and tell the past you to make a different choice?"

"What choice would you have made differently?"

"Nick." He closed the door to his locker, turning to face her. "I wouldn't have left him behind. I still woulda gone to San Francisco, but I would have taken him with me. I can't take it back though. I have to live with my mistakes. One of them being that my son has no idea who I am and the man I love doesn't trust me enough to tell me what's going on in his head."

"You have the whole weekend to get to know your son and talk to Nick. Speaking of, why aren't you driving down with them? You've seen how exhausted Nick has been lately. Do you really want him driving for four hours in the dark with your son sleeping in the back?"

Greg shook his head, checking the time on his watch. "How do you know they haven't already left?"

"Because he left for home about ten minutes ago, said they have some packing to do before they set off. If you hurry, you can catch them."

Nodding his head, Greg pushed himself off the locker door, giving the woman a smile. "When did you turn into my fairy godmother?"

"I'm just looking out for you... and Nick. You're the only family I've got. I don't want to see you tearing each other apart over this. Go catch him." Sara ushered the younger man away, smiling as he hurried for the stairs, taking them down two at a time to catch up to Nick.

He reached the parking garage just in time to watch his truck driving away, prompting him to hurry to his car.

* * *

"Can we see them before we go?" Evan asked, jumping down from his father's truck.

"I told you, the aquarium won't be open this time of night. We've only got time to get you some dinner, bath, pack our bags then hit the road." Ushering his son towards the front door of their house, Nick fished his keys out of his pocket, spotting his neighbour's blinds twitching as they made their way up the drive. "In California, they have wild sharks swimmin' in the oceans. We might even get lucky and see them."

"Cool." Evan dropped to the floor inside the house, removing his sneakers. He hurried down the hall to his bedroom, grabbing all the toys that he wanted to take with him, while his father fixed them something to eat.

Less than ten minutes later, there was a persistent knock at the front door. Nick ignored it at first, figuring it was just Ms Mitchell from next door, wanting to have another pop at him. He served up Evan's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches onto a plate, hearing an impatient knock at the door this time.

"Evan, your foods ready." He set the plate down at the table, heading for the door. He took a peek out the side window, smiling at the sight of the beautiful young man at his door. He quickly smoothed out the creases in his t-shirt and ran his fingers through his tousled hair, before he pulled open the door.

"Phew, I thought you left already. Hi." The younger man smiled, awkwardly stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Uh... I'm glad I caught you."

"I thought I was meetin' you there. Are we still...?"

"Yeah, yeah we're still going." Greg quickly nodded, anxiously scratching his forehead. "I just thought that instead of taking two separate cars, we could... take one car." He shrugged his shoulders together, giving the man an awkward smile. "Besides, you look really tired and I'd rather we all be in the same car. If you don't want to though..."

"I don't mind." Nick stepped aside from the door, ushering the younger man inside. "We were just grabbin' somethin' to eat. I haven't actually finished packin' yet, so we're runnin' a little late. Can I get you anythin' to eat?"

"No, thank you. I'm good." Greg closed the door behind him, remembering to take his sneakers off, before he went any further. He squared them away beside his son's mini sneakers, taking a moment to admire them, before he followed Nick through to the kitchen. He leant himself against the opposite counter, adoring the man's every move, even the simple task of bending to find a glass made him melt.

How could someone so beautiful make him so annoyed at the same time?

"What made you change your mind?" Nick filled the glass with juice, setting it on the counter beside the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "About us drivin' over together, I mean. I'm pretty sure I still know the way, if you were worried we would get lost."

"No, I just thought..."

"Daddy Greg!" Evan cut him off, running towards the man with an action figure in his hands. "Daddy said we wouldn't see you until tomorrow."

"Hi Evan," Greg knelt down to his level, falling in love with his adorable little face all over again. "I know but I wanted to drive to California with you, so I thought I'd come over and see if you were still here. Who's this then?" He motioned towards the action figure in his hands.

"Spiderman." Evan showed him his hero costume underneath his regular clothes. "He's really Peter Parker though. No one can know his true identity because then his family and friends will be in danger."

Greg gave him a wide smile, adoring the look of fascination in his eyes.

"Your PB and J is up on the counter, baby." Nick pointed it out to him, pressing a kiss to the top of head as he stepped past him. "I'll be in my room packin' our suitcase if you need me." He left them to it, fetching his suitcase from the closet first. He overheard the two of them talking in the other room, bringing a smile to his lips as he packed away a few things for the weekend.

He felt a twinge in his side as he lifted the suitcase up, reminding him that he still had to break the news to Greg about the baby. A conversation he wasn't looking forward to, but he had to find the time to tell him before Monday.


	28. Chapter 27 - Missed Opportunity

**Chapter Twenty Seven - Missed Opportunity**

"How long will Daddy Greg be?" Evan asked, giving his father a curious look.

"Not long. He's just headin' back to his apartment to get his bag for the weekend." Grabbing a fresh towel for his son, Nick playfully ran it through his tousled hair, before he lifted him from the tub. "We better get you dressed and ready to go. We gotta get goin' as soon as he gets back." He checked the time on his watch as he carried him through to his bedroom, figuring they should be on the road in the next thirty minutes or so. He still had to pack some snack foods and things for the journey, making a mental note to remember some juice boxes for Evan, just in case.

"Daddy."

"Yes, baby." Nick lowered him to the bedroom floor, while he found him some pyjamas.

"Do Grandpops and Nene have a big house?"

"It's pretty big." He nodded slightly, lifting his son onto the edge of the bed to get him dressed. "They don't quite have as much land as Grandma and Granddad do on the ranch, but I think the house might be the same size. They just have more space. Greg's mother, Jean couldn't live with the clutter that Grandma keeps around."

"Daddy."

"Yes, baby." Nick smiled at him, buttoning the last button to his pyjama top.

"Do I have anymore Uncles or Aunties?"

"No, Greg's an only child. He's got two sets of Grandparents still around. They would be your great grandparents, but his family aren't as big as mine." He lifted one of his son's feet onto his knee, pulling a sock onto his foot. "Greg's got an Uncle. Grandpops' little brother, but I don't think he'll be there."

Evan gave his father his other foot, giggling softly as he playfully tickled his toes. "Daddy."

"Yes, baby." Nick pulled on his last sock, looking into his adorable little eyes. "Daddy Greg is comin' back." He promised him, recognising the look in his eyes. "He doesn't make promises that he can't keep. Besides, he took my truck with him to fill her up with petrol for the drive over. He's not gonna leave with my baby." He playfully tickled his son's sides, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "One four three, baby."

"One four three, Daddy."

Hearing a knock at the front door, Nick quickly scooped Evan up into his arms, hurrying down the hall to let Greg back in. He tried not to smile too widely as he let him in, but it was hard not to smile at something so beautiful.

"Hey." Greg smiled slightly at the sight of the man he adored, holding their little boy in his arms.

"Hi, did you get everythin' you needed?"

"Yeah." He nodded, looking over his shoulder at the truck. "My stuff is in the back. What about you, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just gotta pack some food and things, then we can get goin'. See, I told you Daddy would be back." Nick pecked a playful kiss to his son's forehead, looking between the two of them. "Do you wonna go to Daddy? I'll just be a minute." He carefully handed Evan over to Greg, watching the younger man anxiously biting his bottom lip as he held the precious cargo close to his chest.

He had tried to picture Greg holding their son as a baby a thousand times, but the reality was so much better.

He only wished that it could last forever.

"Hi." Greg hooked his arms beneath his son's little legs, lifting him higher against his hip. "You look like you're ready for bed. You know I used to have a pair of pyjamas like that. A long, long time ago. They look super comfortable. Do you think I could borrow yours?"

"No." Evan giggled softly. "They wouldn't fit you. You're too big."

"Oh... that's not fair." Greg gave him a playful tickle, falling in love with him all over again. "I'll have to pinch some of Daddy's. Do you think he'll let me borrow some?"

"No, Daddy doesn't wear jammies."

"If you have to go to the bathroom, now is the time to go, Evan." Nick gave him one final warning from the other room.

"You better go now if you need the bathroom." Greg lowered his son to the floor, watching him hurrying away down the hallway to the bathroom next to Nick's room. He watched the Texan dragging a heavy suitcase out of his room a moment later, giving the man a curious look before he attempted to help him. "Uh Nick... how long are planning on staying at my folks?"

Nick returned his smile, combing his fingers back through his hair. "Just for the weekend. Hey this is nothin', you're lucky we don't have to pack diapers, wipes and bottles. You have to take a month's supply of stuff with a baby around."

"For the record, I would have loved to have been around for all of that." Greg spoke softly, lifting the case into his arms. He carried it through the house that he should have been living in with his family, loading the bag into the back. He just about managed to lift it into the back on his own, making sure it wouldn't topple over, before he joined them back in the house.

"Your neighbour's still out there, eyeballing my every move." Greg whispered, closing the door behind him. "Something I should know?"

"Oh... yeah. She's my own personal neighbourhood watch. I always wanted to live in an area that has it's own neighbourhood watch, but not like this. She watches me in the back yard too. She just stands there with her arms folded across her chest as though she disapproves of everythin' that I do. Won't have to put up with her for much longer though." Nick fished out the letter he had received, handing it over to Greg while Evan was out of ear shot. "This is what I get for tellin' my father where to stick his lies."

"Eviction notice?" Greg saw the bright red lettering on the top, followed by the text 'Do not ignore'. It sent a chill down his spine, prompting him to sit down so he could read the rest of it. "I didn't think he had that kind of power. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm tellin' you now. I only just opened it at the end of my last shift." Nick took the other seat, pointing out the date on the letter to Greg. "Before you accuse me of lyin' to you, try checkin' your phone. You must have a dozen missed calls from me since that dinner with your folks. I can't tell you anythin' if you ignore me, G."

Greg nodded his head slightly, giving the older man a half smile. "Sorry. You threw me a little, when you said that Evan would be living with me soon. When I came back, I had this idea in my head that you and I, we would just pick up where we left off. It's stupid, I know. It's been six years. What did I expect; you were just sitting here waiting for me or something?" He shrugged his shoulders together, lowering the letter from his hands. "Evan is the best thing that's ever happened to me, besides you... and I don't wonna screw it up. Again."

"Who says you're goin' to?"

"My track record for one. I can't even maintain friendships, how am I supposed to manage one with my own child on my own? I didn't come back to be a single father." Greg anxiously ran his fingers through his hair, before he lifted his gaze to meet Nick's. "I know you've been doing this on your own since the beginning, but I'm not like you. I don't know the first thing about kids. The thought of being alone with him terrifies me."

"You think it doesn't terrify me? This kid put me through the ringer, before he was even a year old. Every operation, infection, cold, anythin' and everythin' he got made me feel completely helpless. His first night home, he screamed for six hours straight. Nothin' I did could settle him. I was ready to take him back to the hospital and let them deal with it." He admitted the truth to him. "He finally passed out, tired himself out from cryin' against my arm while I was on the sofa. I was too scared to move in case it would wake him. I couldn't even get up to pee; I just sat there with him, watchin' him sleep. I realised that I had to do it, for him. I was all he had."

"You know it didn't have to be that way." Greg reached out for his hand, weaving his fingers between the older man's. "What did I ever do to make you feel as though you can't trust me?"

"I... I wish I could give you an answer that made sense, Greg. But I don't know why. I just... I felt as though I was on my own. I didn't have any support from my own family. I wanted to call you a thousand times... I don't know why I didn't. I told you, I'm nothin' without you. I swear that I never set out to hurt you. There's so many things that I woulda done differently, Greg. I let you down. I let everybody down."

Greg shook his head, looking into the man's adorable puppy dog eyes. "I still love you, Nick. You didn't let me down. You raised our son. You didn't let him turn out to be something that he's not. For that, I'm proud of you, Nicky. And I'm the one who let you down."

"How'd you figure that one?" Nick raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"I left you."

"You had a pretty good reason for leavin', Greg. Your career is everythin' to you."

"You were everything to me, but I stupidly let you go." Greg corrected him, holding his hand a little tighter. "You were right; I didn't want the apple pie life with the kids, family dog, and house with the white picket fence. I left because I didn't want any of that. I didn't want to be tied down like that. It wasn't until I got to San Francisco that I started to realise how much I wanted all of that stuff. It wasn't until I almost lost you that I realised how much I wanted to marry you. To have kids with you, buy a family home where we could grow old together. I want all of that."

"You really wonna marry me?" Nick tilted his head to the side, giving him a curious look.

"Well, I'm not saying today." Greg shrugged his shoulders together, awkwardly adjusting himself in his seat. He hadn't exactly planned a speech. He didn't even mean to say that part out loud. "Maybe someday though. How soon can get hold of a tux?" He gave him a cheesy grin, gently brushing his thumb across the back of the older man's hand. "Maybe if I had grown up sooner, we could have been raising him together."

Nick gave him a slight smile. "You were what, twenty four when you left? You were still just a kid. I never blamed you for leavin', Greg. I didn't hide Evan to punish you either. I still love you too."

"So," Greg heard their son returning from the bathroom, running straight for his toys in the front room. He watched him picking out some dinosaurs, dropping to his knees by the coffee table to play with them. "What are we supposed to do now? Do we pick up where we left off or do we have to start over again?"

"Is it enough?" He lifted his gaze, giving Greg a curious look. "Is it enough that we still love each other? Can we make the rest of it work? You've practically been ignorin' me since you found out about him."

"I needed time to process. And I'm pretty sure married couples do it all the time. Some without love." Greg shrugged his shoulders together, looking across the room at their son. "We have to make it through this for him. If we take things slow between us, maybe we can make it work. We have to do it for him, right?" He gave Nick a smile, motioning towards the letter he had beside him. "As for your father, you can tell him to stick his stupid house where the sun don't shine and move in with the very man that he wants you to keep away from." He grinned a little wider. "As soon as I find a new place that is. I already gave my notice to my building manager, but the house hunting angle isn't going too well. Personally, I blame my realtor."

"You'll find somewhere. Are you sure you're ready for all of this?"

"I don't think it really matters if I'm ready anymore. Evan's my son and you're the father of my child. You also happen to be the man that I love. I want to trust you, Nick." He assured him, pushing himself to his feet from his stool. "We can build the trust between us over time. I always thought that you were the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I was an idiot to let that go, but him." He watched Evan playing a moment, before he turned his head to look at Nick. "He really is amazing."

"Yeah, he is." Nick nodded his head. "Hey, G." He caught his wrist, stopping him from walking away. "About takin' things slow," He spoke softly, looking into the younger man's eyes. He didn't know if this would make him trust him more or less, but he had to tell him. "There's somethin' else that I found out yesterday. You might wonna sit back down for this."

Greg anxiously bit his bottom lip, returning himself to his seat. He breathed in a deep breath, giving the older man a nod. "You can tell me anything, Nicky. I want you to tell me anything."

"Remember I had that doctor's appointment the other week? Well, it wasn't just a routine visit... I was worried about somethin'. I didn't wonna bother you with it until I knew for sure... and yesterday, I got my results back." He clasped his hands together in his lap, deciding to just blurt it out. "Uh… I'm pregnant."

Greg widened his eyes, feeling his heart pounding heavily in his chest. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head, looking over at Evan in the other room. "He called me yesterday, right about the time I found out I was bein' evicted. I almost forgot about it. He wants me to go in Monday for more tests. I know it's seriously bad timin' and everythin'..."

"Our first night together?" Greg rolled his eyes at himself, wishing he had thought to use protection. His mother always warned him about using protection along with the consequences of not using it, but he never listened to her.

"I know, I should have said somethin'. I should have warned you that this could happen. I deserve every bit of your anger, G. I deserve that and a whole lot worse for what I've done."

"You don't deserve to be treated like dirt, Nicky. Why do you always let people treat you like crap? Even me." He whispered making sure their son was still preoccupied. "You don't deserve to be treated like that. Love doesn't mean that you have to take crap from people. Loving someone doesn't give them the right to do that to you. You have feelings too."

Nick allowed a small smile to spread across his lips, realising that Greg really hadn't changed. He was still the same adorable Greg he had always been.

"I mean it, Nicky." Greg lifted the man's chin with his hand, looking into his big chocolate brown eyes. "Giving someone your love, doesn't give them the right to treat you like you dirt."

"I'm startin' to get that." He spoke softly. "You know my brother wants to pay for some pricy shrink for me to talk to. One five minute session with you and I already feel as though a weight has been lifted off my chest. You're the only person who gets me. Who loves me the way I am. I should never have let you go, Greg."

"I was going to leave whether you wanted me to or not, Nicky. You couldn't have changed that."

"No, but I could have come with you." He pointed out to him. "You gave me that option, but I turned you down because my father wouldn't approve. I shoulda gone with what I wanted for once. When I'm with you, I feel like I can be myself. I'm completely lost without you, Greg. I know that I hurt you..."

"Nicky," Greg put his finger to the man's lips, stopping him from apologising again. He leant close enough so he could almost taste his lips, looking at the tears threatening to spill from the man's eyes. "We can build back the trust that we had. All I know is that I wonna be with you. It hurts not being a part of your life. I hate being on the outside looking in. It hurts that you can't trust me more, but I get it. The more I get to know the man you are now, the more I blame myself."

He leant forwards, pressing a kiss to the centre of Nick's forehead. He playfully ruffled his fingers through his hair, giving the man one of his famous adorable boyish grins.

"Now, how about we hit the road before it gets too dark?"

"Yeah." Nick wiped away the tears from his eyes, accepting the younger man's hand to help him to his feet. He wished he could hold onto him just a little longer, but his hand was gone in seconds. "Hey... Greg, what are we goin' to do about the baby?"

Greg shrugged his shoulders together, taking a step towards the kitchen door. "The only thing we can do. Just... don't tell my Mom." He gave him a quick warning. "I don't want her fussing. We can talk about it when we get back."

"Okay." Nick gave him a nod.

"Mind if I use your bathroom?"

"No, go ahead." He gave him a smile, breathing a little easier now that Greg was talking to him again. He double checked that the house was locked up tight, checking all the windows, before he scooped his son into his arms. "C'mon baby, it's time to go. Have you got everythin' you wonna take?"

Evan nodded his head, clutching his dinosaurs tightly as his father lifted him into his arms. "How far is it to their house?"

"Not that far. You'll be sleepin', so you won't even notice the drive." Nick carried him down the driveway, pulling open the back door for him. Evan climbed straight into his seat, letting his father buckle him in. He tucked a blanket around him once he was buckled in, giving him back his dinosaurs to play with. "Okay, try and get some sleep, baby." He pecked a kiss to his forehead, closing up the door. "Hey," He perched himself on the edge of the seat, looking into his son's eyes. "One four three, baby."

"One four three, Daddy." Evan reached his arms for him, hugging the man tightly.

Greg stepped out of the house just in time to watch them, feeling the obvious rift between them. He pulled the door shut behind him, hoping his realtor would come up with a house soon, so he could finally live under the same roof as his family.

"Hey," Nick turned to face him, carefully closing the back door. "Do you want me to drive?"

"With those dark circles around your eyes?" Greg gave him a smile, motioning the man round to the passenger side. "You need to get some shut eye, cowboy. I'll drive." He used the familiar nickname that brought a smile to the man's lips. He watched him making his way round the other side of the car, wishing they could just drive away somewhere and never come back.

His mother would never forgive him for that and he doubted Nick would leave the lab behind.

Sighing softly, Greg climbed into the truck, making sure everyone was buckled in. He adjusted the mirror beside him so he could see Evan in the back, smiling to himself before he started the car. He reached out for Nick's hand from his leg, entwining their fingers together.

"This _is_ what I came back for." He gave the man's hand a gentle squeeze, finally pulling the truck out of the driveway.

By the time he reached city limits, both Evan and Nick were fast asleep, adorably snoring away. He wished they could take more family vacations like this someday, picturing a second car seat in the back with their new baby inside. He was terrified of the prospect of having another child to look after, but excited at the same time.

A family was what he had been missing out on all this time.

* * *

"That's the sixth time you've leapt up in the last five minutes." Papa Olaf noted, watching his daughter running to window again, eagerly awaiting the arrival of her son and grandson. She watched the car driving right by them, sighing softly in disappointment as she returned to the sofa. "He'll get here when he gets here. Jumping up every time you hear a noise won't change that. He'll be here." He assured her, catching her checking her phone again.

"He texted me when he left. He should be here by now." Jean set her phone down, running her fingers back through her hair. "What if they got into an accident?"

"We'd know." Daniel appeared at the door, handing his wife a soothing hot tea. He handed his father in law the extra coffee mug from his hands, before he retook his seat beside his wife. "He has his child in the back of the car. Greg's a safe driver. You remember what it's like driving with your baby in the back. He's probably being overly cautious. He'll be here."

Jean nodded her head slightly, breathing in a deep breath. She sat herself back against the sofa cushions, taking a small sip of her hot tea. "Do you remember driving Greg back from the hospital?" She looked at her father.

"Yep." The older man smirked, recalling the day like it was yesterday. "I had your mother yelling at me to go slower. You two wanted me to go quicker to get him back home, while Greg was screaming and throwing up everywhere. Still one of the best days of my life." He checked the time for himself, pushing himself to his feet. "Well, I'm gonna turn in. Good night."

"Night, Dad." Jean climbed to her feet, giving the man a quick hug. "I thought you'd want to stay awake to see your great grandchild."

"I'll see him tomorrow. He's here all weekend, right?" Papa Olaf gave her a smile, waving to his son in law, Daniel. "Night."

"Night." Daniel nodded to the man, watching his wife jumping up to check out the window again. She stayed put a moment longer than last time, clapping her hands together in excitement as the Texan's truck finally pulled into their driveway. "Is that him?"

"It's them." Jean rushed for the door, not even noticing her father still stood on the stairs. She threw the door open like an excited child, hurrying for the driver's side door to hug her son. "Oh sweetheart, I was so worried." She pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"Mom, can't breathe." He playfully tapped out of the hug, turning for the back of the car. He eased the door open as quietly as possible, carefully unbuckling Evan from his seat. "They both passed out as soon as we hit city limits." He whispered softly, gently sliding his hands beneath Evan's arms. He lifted the snoozing child against his chest, holding him securely against his shoulder.

Jean began to tear up already, giving her son a wide smile. "You don't know how long I've waited to see this. My baby with his own baby."

"Mom, don't." He smiled at her, taking Evan towards the house. He found his father and Papa Olaf inside, almost tearing up themselves. "Would everybody stop? It's embarrassing. Dad, can you take him? I have to get, Nick."

"Mind if I..." Papa Olaf stepped off the stairs, getting to his great grandchild before his son in law. He carefully lifted the sleeping child from his grandson's arms, adoring the sight of him already. "God he's heavy." He immediately felt an ache in his back, but he wasn't ready to give him up just yet.

"Are you sure you can manage?" Daniel called after him.

The older man completely ignored him, clutching his great grandson close as he made his way up the stairs. He honestly didn't think he would be alive long enough to see his grandson have a child of his own, but here he was and he was a little miracle.

"C'mon, Nicky," Greg wished he could leave him be to just let him sleep a little longer, but he didn't want to leave him on his own out on the driveway. He reached his arms out for him, catching him as he stumbled down from his truck. "I got you, babe." He gave the man a cheesy grin.

Nick rubbed the sleep from his eyes, looking up at the house he hadn't been back to in six years. He almost wished that he could go back in time and relive those early moments of his relationship with Greg again.

But he knew it was way too late for that.


	29. Chapter 28 - Fixing the Gaps

**Chapter Twenty Eight – Fixing the Gaps**

It was so peaceful at this hour. The sun wasn't quite up in the sky yet, but Nick had been awake most of the night. He had been tossing and turning in his bed for the past few hours, starting to get frustrated that he couldn't just let go and fall asleep. It wasn't even his nightmares keeping him awake this time. Instead of attempting to sleep any longer, he decided to make his way outside to the Sanders garden to stretch his legs, breathing in the fresh air.

He could almost smell the sea from here.

Nick took a stroll towards the swimming pool, watching the clear blue water glistening beneath the sky. It was almost tranquil. He was miles away from Texas, Las Vegas and his torture chamber six feet under, but he still didn't feel at ease.

Dusting off the leaves from a nearby chair, Nick perched himself on the edge, trying to clear his head. He rested his elbows against his knees, focusing his eyes on a single leaf floating around in the pool water. It spun around and around, before the wind blew it towards the shallow end of the pool, where it got sucked up into the filter as though it never existed. He wished he could wipe away certain memories of his past, giving him a clear head for the future, but he was afraid that he was going to be stuck like this forever at this rate.

"No, I told already," He heard a familiar voice, followed by the sound of a door closing. "It's got to have a garden. The garden is the key feature. If it doesn't have a garden, then there's no point in me even looking at it."

Nick pushed himself to his feet, tiptoeing round the side of the house. He peeked through a gap in the hedge, spotting Greg walking across the driveway.

The younger man perched himself on the low brick wall surrounding the edge of the drive, holding a cell phone to his ear. He dug out something from his pocket a moment later, bringing one of the objects to his lips. He pulled a lighter out of another pocket, lighting the cancer stick he had between his lips.

Nick almost wanted to charge over to him and rip the object from his mouth, but he didn't want to get too close. He couldn't believe that Greg was smoking, especially right in front of his parents' house. He knew that he had no right to judge, but the man he loved was smoking a cancer stick that killed his grandfather.

"A three foot courtyard does not count as a back yard!"

Greg continued to argue with his realtor, wishing he had fired her, before he left Las Vegas. She didn't seem to understand anything that he wanted and the houses she had been showing him just kept getting worse and worse. He took another puff of his cigarette, flicking away the ash against the wall.

"A two car garage doesn't make up for it either. No it doesn't. You can't stick a kid in the garage to kick a football around. This is Las Vegas we're talking about. There must be a house on sale with a reasonable sized back yard."

He glanced round as he saw a shadow, looking like a deer in headlights as he spotted Nick stood just a few feet from him.

Greg quickly tossed the cigarette aside, stamping it out with his foot before the man inhaled any of the fumes. "Uh… yeah, fine. I'll be back in Las Vegas on Monday. I'll see you then. Bye." He ended the call, ditching the phone in his lap, keeping his eyes fixed on Nick's. "Hey," He rather awkwardly smiled at the moment. "I-I thought you were still asleep."

"No, I couldn't sleep." Nick took a few steps closer, smelling the stench of the cigarette already. "I didn't know that you smoked."

"I don't… exactly." He kicked away the evidence, pushing himself to his feet. "As far as my Mom's concerned anyway. It's just a… nerves thing. I've had this box for two weeks now, it's still practically full. See." Greg showed the man the evidence, quickly slotting the box back into his pocket. "So um… do you want a coffee or something?"

"Yeah, okay." Nick followed him back into the house, catching the younger man popping some chewing gum into his mouth. He took a seat at the counter, resting his chin in his hands as he watched the younger man preparing them some coffee.

"Fair warning, the coffees not all that." Greg warned him, getting the dried coffee beans down from the top cupboard. "My Mom likes it weak and tasteless and my Dad doesn't care what it is, just so long as it's hot. I guess you remember that from the last time you were here."

"I'm not sure I should even be drinkin' coffee."

"Right," Greg remembered their situation, wishing he could just have a moment to breathe. He finished the coffee prep, leaning against the counter in front of Nick. "I started smoking in San Francisco." He admitted to him, realising that the secrets thing had to work both ways if they wanted this to work out. "I don't know if I ever told you this, but I used to smoke back in High school, mostly to get in with the cool crowd, but there was this girl I was trying to impress too. My parents never knew, but my Papa Olaf caught me and threatened to tell my Mom if I didn't hand over every single one. Then when I moved to New York, everyone at the lab smoked, so I kinda took it up again. I kicked the habit before I joined the lab in Las Vegas."

"Why'd you start again?"

Greg breathed out a deep breath, hating himself for doing this, but the truth had to be told. "A guy."

"Really?" The Texan tried to hold back his surprise. "What… um… what guy?"

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" He could already see the pain in his eyes.

"We were apart for six years, Greg. You were twenty four when you left. You're a gorgeous man. I wasn't expectin' you to remain celibate or anythin'."

Greg felt his cheeks flushing a little, giving the older man a slight smile. "You still think I'm gorgeous?"

"You're beautiful." Nick said without hesitation. "So the guy?" He changed the subject.

"Right," He tapped his fingers against the counter, wishing he had never brought it up. "It was… someone from the lab there. Total mistake, I know, but who else are we going to meet working the hours that we work? It was never anything serious. Nothing like what you and I had… have." Greg corrected himself, turning for the kettle behind him as it finished boiling. He filled the coffee pot all the way up, grabbing two mugs, before he joined Nick at the counter again.

"You're not goin' to hurt me by tellin' me the truth, Greg."

"He was just… a guy. We were never anything serious." He continued with his stand offish explanation.

Nick watched the younger man filling their coffee cups with the discoloured liquid, before he turned for the fridge to grab the milk. "So, does this guy have a name?" He curiously asked him.

"Yes."

"What is it?" He smiled at the younger man, feeling as though he was running an interrogation here. "C'mon G, you bought the subject up. You can't leave me hangin' on one detail. I just want to know his name. It's not like I'm ever goin' to bump into him, right?"

With the milk in his hand, Greg moved around the side of the island, taking the seat next to the older man. He studied his features closely. His prominent jaw line and chin were both void of the scruff he had been living with for the past few weeks. It looked so smooth and perfect; Greg strained himself not to reach out to caress it.

He loved him so much.

He caught Nick's gaze after a moment, those beautiful deep chocolate brown eyes filled with sadness and a measure of trepidation, like an animal caught in a trap. He wasn't sure if it was his closeness causing his timid reaction or the fact that he was in the house of some severely pissed off in laws, but he felt compelled to protect him from it all.

"It doesn't matter." He refused to give up the name, deciding it was the only way to save his already broken heart. "It's supposed to be a nice day today. I was thinking we could take Evan out to see the ocean for the first time and my Dad said the boat is up and ready for sailing again. We always planned that weekend away together. We just never had the time before."

"I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see the box." Nick decided to make a confession of his own. "Not just the box. One time I made it through the glass. My fingers were clawed down right to the bone, but I still managed to claw my way through the dirt to the surface. When I got there… I was alone."

"You're not alone, Nicky."

"I was alone because I've lied to everyone my entire life. I hurt everyone around me so much that they finally threw in the towel and called it quits on me. Until I had that dream, I thought I was just terrified of bein' trapped in that coffin again. But I think I'm more terrified of bein' alone."

"Nick, you have me." He gently reached out for Nick's sore hand, brushing his fingertips across the cuts to his knuckles. "You have Evan. You have this baby. From what my mother told me, once you have kids you're never alone again and you'll always have my family."

Greg climbed off his stool, cupping the beautiful man's face in both his hands. He gently brushed his thumbs across his smooth jaw line, looking into his eyes for a moment, before he closed the gap between them to kiss him.

"You'll always have me, Nick. From now on, I go where you go."

Nick shook his head, removing the younger man's hands from his face. "I don't want you to stay with me out of duty, G."

"It's not duty. It's me and you against the world. The way it was before." Greg placed his hands on the man's thighs, leaning closer to him so their noses were practically touching. "I love you so much. Seeing you like this, it really hurts. You need to talk to someone, Nicky. You need help." He reached his hand up to his cheek again, gently wiping away a tear spilling from the Texan's eye. "I'll be with you every step of the way, but you have to do it. If not for you, then do it for me."

"You still love me after everythin' that I've done?"

The younger man answered him with another kiss, playfully teasing his tongue into his mouth. He felt the other man's hunger for him, finally feeling as though things between them were starting to get back to normal.

He knew they would never be the same as before, but he could at least try to rekindle the romance from his first great love.

* * *

"Look at that one." After hours of running through the sand, Greg was relieved for the chance to finally sit down and collect shells on the beach. He handed his son a swirly white shell, smiling as he watched the fascination in his eyes. "My Grangela collects buckets of these ones. She doesn't do anything with them; she just puts them on display around the house. As you go through the front door, there's a two foot fish bowl crammed full of them."

"I like this one." Evan smoothed his fingers across its surface.

"You know if you hold it up to your ear, you can hear the ocean." Greg watched the child raising the shell to his ear, looking more confused than amazed. "Technically it's not really the ocean you can hear, that's a myth. What you can actually hear is your surrounding environment resonating within the cavity of the shell…"

"Uh Greg," Nick cut him off there. "He's six. Don't channel Grissom in front of him."

"Right."

"Daddy, look at this one." Evan crawled over Nick laying in the sand a few feet from them, holding it just above his head so he could look at it. He looked even more exhausted than he did the day before, but he didn't want to miss his son's first trip to the beach for anything in the world.

"Oh yeah, that's a nice one." Nick beamed a smile up at him.

"You're not falling asleep on us, are you, Nicky?" Greg crawled towards them, adoring the sign of the smile returning to his reinstated boyfriend's lips. "We can head off to the boat if you want some shut eye. We can pick up some lunch."

"Alright, I'm sold." He sat himself up, brushing down the sand from his chest.

Greg sprang to his feet beside him, reaching out for his partner's hands to help him up. He gave him a smile as he pulled him up, gently brushing away the sand from his back. "C'mon Evan, you best grab those shells if you want to keep them."

Evan quickly collected up his favourite shells, handing them over to his father to hold. "Greg, can I drive the boat?"

"Yeah, I don't see why not." Greg grabbed the last of their things, throwing their towel over his shoulder. He took the shells off Nick's hands, dropping them into the plastic bucket they bought earlier. "My Dad taught me how to drive it when I was around your age. You have to be careful though. It's not a toy. You know I've always dreamed of chucking life on land to live on a boat."

"Even though you can't swim?" Nick smiled back at him, shielding the sun from his eyes. "What would you do for work?"

"Once I have enough money together, I mean. Like a retirement thing. My Dad always wanted to, but my Mom doesn't have the stomach for it. She can tolerate day trips out on the boat though. They go out practically every week."

Greg led his family back to Nick's truck, smiling at a couple walking by with two small children in a stroller. He really wasn't too keen on the idea of having a baby at first, but he was starting to feel like an expectant father, hopeful for the future.

* * *

"Welcome aboard," Greg climbed onto the boat first, reaching his arms out to lift Evan over. "Remember, no running on deck and stay away from the edges." He warned him again, helping Nick to bridge the gap. "Do you like the new boat?"

"It's bigger." Nick noticed right away.

The last time he stepped onto a boat with Greg, it looked like a sail boat, designed only for sailing on. It only had a top deck and a short distance to move around on. This one didn't have a sail in sight. It did have a much larger deck, with a huge cabin in the middle. A staircase led up the side of the cabin to the boats controls and plenty of soft seating.

"My Dad got tired of the sail boat, decided to upgrade to something a little more modern. I think he's going through a midlife crisis or something."

Keeping his mouth shut, Nick followed the younger towards the cabin door, waiting for him to unlock it. He dropped his jaw at the sight of the full functioning kitchen inside. The floors were hard wood, the counters were white and the stove looked huge. He followed the younger man towards the dining area. A booth big enough to seat four people with leather seat covers and a spacious table between them. Next was the living room with an L shaped sofa and a staircase leading upstairs.

Nick caught Evan before he climbed on the clean furniture with his shoes on, following Greg up to the bedroom and bathroom upstairs. The windows against the far wall stretched from the floor to ceiling with a clear door in the middle, leading to a top deck.

"Wow." Nick whistled, keeping hold of Evan's hand in case he ran towards the rails outside and fell overboard.

"Personally, I think it's a little too flashy, but my Dad calls it his man cave." Greg smirked dropping their stuff on the floor. "The sofa downstairs doubles as a pull out. I can sleep on there, while you and Evan take the bed. If you want to stay here for the night." He subtly added, hoping the time away from his parents would make Nick more comfortable.

"Can we?" Evan clambered straight onto the bed, giggling softly as he crashed out. "Daddy, it's like jelly."

"Water bed." Greg lifted the covers to show him. "The bathroom even has a shower. There's a TV in the front room too. Only plays DVDs, but it should keep us entertained for the night. I'll go start the engines. Are you sure you're ready for this, Nicky?"

"Yeah." Nick took a seat on the bed beside Evan, feeling a little queasy as the whole thing wobbled.

"Can I help?" Evan quickly climbed off the bed, hurrying after Greg. "Can we go really fast?"

"We have to go slowly on the way out, so we don't hit any of the other boats. Stay a deck a moment, I have to untie us." Greg led the way, instructing Evan on safety.

Listening to the two of them talking, Nick crashed backwards across water bed, holding onto his stomach as the whole thing shook beneath him. He wasn't too keen on the idea of being stuck out in the middle of the ocean, but he didn't want to disappoint, Evan. He focused on the only still thing in the cabin, the ceiling above him, hoping he could hold onto his breakfast as they set off.

He didn't know if it was the motion of the boat or the freedom of the ocean, but he started to doze off to sleep, feeling a sense of security with Greg nearby.

When he woke up a few hours later, the sun was starting to set on the horizon. He felt tempted to doze off to sleep again, but then he heard laughter coming from downstairs. He struggled to sit himself up on the water bed, rolling himself over to crawl to the edge. He noticed his boots had been taken off as he climbed to his feet, guessing Greg had found him out like a light.

He padded down the stairs into the front room, smiling at the sight of Greg and Evan cuddled up close on the sofa, watching a movie together.

"Hey, sleepy head. You actually managed to get five hours of sleep in." Greg noted the time on the clock, patting the sofa beside him. He lifted the blanket covering himself and Evan, letting the older man crawl in beside them. "This fresh sea air must be doing you some good. How do you feel?"

"Rested." He collapsed back against the leather sofa, settling the blanket over his lap.

"You missed lunch… and dinner, but we've got pop corn." Greg handed him the bowl, smiling as the Texan immediately grabbed a large handful for himself. "Unless you want me to fix you something else to eat. We had some chicken left over from dinner."

Nick shook his head, grabbing himself another handful. "No, I'm fine with this."

"Daddy, shh." Evan hissed at him, trying to watch the movie.

"Sorry, baby." Nick whispered, crunching on his pop corn a little quieter. He cuddled up closer to Greg's side, adjusting himself as the younger man pulled his arm out from between them, snaking it around his shoulders instead. He smiled to himself as he had always pictured family moments like this, but they always seemed just out of his reach.

Until now.


	30. Chapter 29 - Back on Track

**Chapter Twenty Nine – Back On Track**

Easing himself onto the bed beside his sleeping partner, Greg smiled softly, wishing he had thought to do this earlier. It seemed like the great escape plan had finally given Nick the peace of mind he needed to let himself fall asleep. He wasn't tossing and turning. He wasn't thrashing at the covers and he wasn't screaming. He had been asleep for another six hours now and he looked absolutely beautiful.

"Daddy." A small voice called from the stairs.

"Shh," Greg put his finger to his lips, cautiously easing himself off the bed again. He made sure he hadn't disturbed the older man's peaceful slumber, before he hurried back down the stairs to rejoin his son. "I was just checking on Daddy. He's still fast asleep. Where did we get to?" He crawled onto the floor beside him, reaching for the action figures beneath the sofa.

"Iron Man has Spiderman tied up with the shark guarding him."

"Of course he does." Greg couldn't help but smile, grabbing his inferior Batman and Captain America figures who had been stripped of their super powers by Iron Man earlier. He didn't think it was very fair that Iron Man now had all their super powers and their best friend in custody, but it was Evan's game and he had to abide by the rules.

They had been playing for hours now and he was starting to realise that no matter what he did, Tony Stark would always best him. He was ruthless.

"Daddy Greg?"

"Yes." He lifted his gaze to meet his, seeing so much of Nick in his eyes.

Evan sat up straight, adjusting the action figures pose in his little hands. "What will happen to Daddy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Will he die?"

The question caught Greg off guard. He knew he didn't mean anything by it, but it hurt to hear it. He set down the figures from his hands, feeling the blood draining from his face as he looked into the eyes of his little boy.

"No… no, Daddy isn't going to die." He assured him. "He needs some help. I guess you've noticed that he hasn't been feeling very well lately. He's been dealing with a lot of… head stuff. He needs our help, but we're not going to lose him." He crawled closer to him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Your Daddy loves you very much. He would never leave you."

"Daddy loves you a lot too. When Daddy and I want to say we love each other, we say 'one four three'. The one means I." Evan held up one of his fingers. "Four is love." He adjusted his fingers. "And three is you. Together it means 'I love you'." He gave the man in front of him a toothy grin. "One four three, Daddy Greg."

Greg allowed a smile to spread across his lips, feeling as though he had just been initiated into their secret club. He sat himself upright, gently ruffling his fingers through his son's tousled hair. "You know what. You already have a Daddy. How about instead of calling me Daddy Greg, you call me Papa… or Papa Greg?" He suggested, gently sliding his hands beneath his son's arms. "And for the record… one four three four four three."

"That's wrong." Evan protested.

"No it isn't. I just made it up. One four three four four three. It means I love you very much too." Greg scooped him into his arms, pressing multiple playful kisses to his baby boy's cheek. He adored the sound of his giggling, ceasing his tickling only so he could catch his breath. "C'mon then, my little monster, it's time for you to get some sleep. Its way, way, way past your bed time now." He plopped him down on the sofa, pecking another kiss to his forehead. "Night, night. Don't let the ocean bugs bite."

"Good night, Da… Papa." He tried out the paternal nickname for the first time.

Greg grabbed the blanket from the other side of the sofa, gently tucking it around his son. "Good night, Evan." He pressed one last kiss to his forehead, before he climbed to his feet. He flicked off the lights in the front room, making sure the cabin door was locked, before he made his way up to the top deck.

It felt a lot colder than it was earlier, but he had to check things over, before he turned in himself. He didn't fancy drifting off somewhere. His father had drilled safety on a boat into his head for years, he wasn't about to ignore it now that his whole family were on the same boat.

Come to think of it, he couldn't wait to do this again with a baby board.

* * *

"Okay, now slowly push this forwards to adjust your speed," Greg directed the older man's hand, weaving around him to place his other hand on the steering wheel. He wanted to get a quick lesson in before they had to head back to his parents house, hoping he might consider doing it again in the not too distant future. He seemed like a changed man already after less than fourteen hours on the boat. "Now use this to steer, just like a car. Gentle… see easy. You're driving a boat." He smiled proudly at him, returning his sunglasses to his face.

"I guess I can cross that one off my bucket list." The Texan smirked.

"Really," Greg sat himself down on the seat beside him, admiring the delicious man in action. "What else is on your bucket list?"

"I don't know. I never actually compiled a list." Nick shrugged his shoulders together, looking out at the endless ocean stretched out ahead of them. "I guess I'd like to travel more. I've never seen the Grand Canyon. Maybe a road trip across the States. See the northern lights in person. I like hikin', but I haven't done it in years. Just like Horseback ridin'. I haven't done it since I was a kid. I kinda always wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle, but my Mama always forbid me from tryin'."

"What she doesn't know can't hurt her." Greg smiled in his direction, relieved to see the light returning to his eyes. "I could teach you how to ride."

"Since when did you know how to ride a motorcycle?" Nick looked at him surprised.

"Since college. My roommate had this really dorky looking scooter. I begged him to upgrade to something slightly cooler, but he wouldn't do it unless I took the test with him. I had a dirt bike for a couple of months, before I switched to a Harley Davidson. Sport version, but it used to make my arms shake so much, I couldn't take notes in my next class. My letters were all jumpy across the page; my Professor thought I was stoned."

"Let me guess, that was the one class you weren't stoned in." He smiled round at the younger man.

"Hey, I never did drugs before a class." Greg protested, pushing himself to his feet to rejoin him, before Nick drove them too far off course. "Besides, it was only a little weed with my friends. Are you seriously telling me that the good ol' Texas boy never tried anything?"

"No, man. I never smoked anythin', popped any pills or took anythin' I shouldn't. To tell you the truth, I'm kinda glad I never tried." Nick perched himself back on the chair behind him, letting Greg take the wheel for a moment. "Will you teach me one day?"

"Yeah, it's only fair since you got me up on that horse."

"Hey, you were a natural on the horse, until you freaked out." Nick reminded him, struggling not to smile at the memory of it.

"It tried to kill me." Greg stuck to his original excuse.

"You were stranglin' it. It's a natural reaction for anythin' to try and defend itself when it's bein' strangled." Climbing to his feet, Nick felt brave enough to playfully snaked his arms around the younger man, holding him close to his chest. "You don't know how much I've missed this."

"I think I've got some idea."

Greg felt a little nervous from the sudden return of intimacy, but he was also relieved. He thought it would be months, even years before they were back where they were before. He cherished the feeling of his boyfriend's body so close to his own once again, wishing they could freeze this moment in time.

"You know, maybe we should stay on this boat a little longer." Greg suggested.

"We came away this weekend to be with your parents. I think your Mom's gonna be pretty pissed if we spend the whole weekend on the boat."

"I'll tell her it was all my idea. You'll remain the completely innocent party. We could even stay for a few more days. We don't exactly have to rush back for anything."

"I'm bein' evicted." Nick reminded him.

"Me too… technically. I gave in my notice. I'm supposed to move out in two weeks. We're both homeless." He grinned round at him, feeling the warmth of his breath on his cheek. "Oh and I'm supposed to meet my realtor on Monday. She recons she's found 'the place'."

"You realise that escrow can take up to a month, right?" He guessed that the slightly confused expression on his face meant he didn't know that. "Even if she has found 'the place' and you put your offer in, the seller still has to accept the offer and the sale can take a month or more to close, before you actually get to move in."

"Oh… I guess I should have really read that 'buying a house for dummies' book then."

"Yeah," Nick grinned widely at him, lowering his hands to the younger man's hips. "You know I still have thirty days or so before I have to move out. You can crash with us until you find a place."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It depends… on you… how you feel… about me… us."

Greg sensed that he was nervous, feeling his hands leaving his hips. He turned to face him, watching the man anxiously biting the tip of his tongue. "You know I used to feel like a total dork in front of you. You were like the cool kid in the lab and I was the lab geek who gave you the answers you needed to solve your case. The only way I could get your attention was to try and impress you with nerdy science stuff… which usually resulted in me nervously talking your ears off about anything and everything that popped into my head at that moment in time. Most of the time you just looked at me annoyed, like you couldn't wait to leave and get back to your case. But every once in a while you'd give me this look… like I was the only one who mattered to you. You hung on my every word, even if I was talking complete nonsense or just babbling because I was so nervous."

"Does that mean…?"

"As far as I'm concerned," Greg cut him off, slipping his hands around the older man's waist. "There has been an us since the first moment you stepped into my lab. We may have taken a little time apart to grow up or whatever, but now we're back and this time, I'm completely committed. You're the father of my son. You're the love of my life. And I regret not coming back sooner, because I can see how much you need me."

"Greg, I…" Nick stumbled backwards into the chair, caught off guard by the younger man's sudden advance. He felt his lips merging with his own, his fingers running through his hair and his tongue teasing its way into his mouth. He felt as though it was six years ago again. He could almost picture the DNA lab around them, Greg's long lab coat tucked over a loud shirt and his hair adorably spiked up all over the place.

He finally had Greg back.

* * *

Stepping onto dry land again, Nick felt as though a weight had returned to his shoulders. He watched Greg expertly tying off the boat, taking the opportunity to give Evan another lesson in tying another knot. He overheard Evan calling him 'Papa' a few times, bringing a smile to his lips as they had bonded already in such a short space of time.

"I just gotta lock up. Stay there a second." Greg climbed back onto the boat, making his way inside to make sure everything was turned off. He grabbed a few stray toys from the sofa cushions, picking up Nick's jacket off the back of the chair, before he checked the engine upstairs.

"Daddy." Evan joined his father on dry land, clinging to his side. "Can we come again next weekend?"

"I don't know about that, bud. It's a long way to go."

Evan gave out a sigh of protest, watching Greg climbing back onto the dock. He double checked the rope tying off the boat, finding his family ready and waiting for him. "Papa, can we come again next weekend?" He thought he'd try another parent.

"Um… well, I kinda have a lot to do next weekend and I think I'm working then. But maybe we come back over the holidays. If Daddy isn't too busy." He gave the older man a smile, grabbing one of the bags from his hands. "So, are we all ready to go back to Nene's house?"

"Yeah… but you realise she's gonna hate me even more now." Nick turned on his heels, leading the way back to his truck. He would rather trap himself in an enclosed space than return to the wrath of Jean Sanders, but at this point, he'd do anything he could to get back into Greg's good graces.

* * *

"I'm making pancakes, Evan. Would you like to help me?" She called him straight through to the kitchen, dividing them once again.

Greg dropped their bags at the bottom of the stairs, gently tapping his partner on the shoulder to get his attention. "Hey, don't let it get to you. She's just trying to get to know him and the only way she knows how to do that is to control. See it as a chance to get back into her good books. Do you know who said, 'in the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity'?"

"Uh… let me guess, Grissom?"

"No, Albert Einstein." He gave him a wide grin. "My Mom actually told me that she loves you. Out of the… very few guys I've ever brought back here, she always liked you the most. You're already halfway through the door."

"The very few?" Nick raised his eyebrow at him. "Nice cover, G."

Greg smiled back at him, lifting their bags into his hands again. "I'll take these upstairs so they're out of the way. Play nice."

"Hey, I'm always nice." He turned on his big Texas grin, making his way through to the kitchen to play nice with the in laws. Greg's father, Daniel always went out of his way to treat him like part of the family anyway, but Jean was really making him work for her affection at the moment or even a moment of her attention.

He felt as though he deserved her full wrath though.

At least for a little while.

"These are better than Daddy's pancakes." Evan practically climbed on the table, grabbing himself another one from the plate in the middle.

"Baby, don't climb on the table." Nick pulled him back into his seat.

"Thank you, Evan. Please help yourself to more." Jean smiled directly at the child. "Greg, you're not eating." She noticed his plate was still empty, but the coffee was still flowing.

"I'm not really that hungry. I'll grab something before my shift though."

"Shift?" His mother looked at him surprised.

"Yeah, I'm driving us back tonight. I've got a shift at nine. Hence the coffee." Greg grabbed the pot from the middle of the table, topping up his mug.

"That only gives us a few hours."

Daniel gently tapped his wife's hand, before she said something she might regret. "Did you enjoy your time on the boat, Evan?"

"Yeah, Papa let me drive for a little while. Daddy had a go too. Can we go again next weekend?" He tried one last attempt with the grandparents.

Nick couldn't help but smile, realising his son was really starting to enjoy having more family around him. He was using every opportunity he could to wrap them around his little finger. "We have plans next weekend and Greg's workin', so we can't." He quickly shut the idea down, before the in laws said anything.

"I still miss the old boat. It isn't the same without the sails." Greg sighed softly. "Evan's a natural on the sea though. Maybe next time we could go fishing or once you've learnt how to swim, we can go surfing."

"You can't even swim." His Papa Olaf chortled softly. "Are you a swimmer, Nick?"

"I can swim. My father taught us all how to swim in the lake near the ranch. He offered to do the same for Evan, but I remember him pushin' me off this boulder into the deep end and expectin' me to swim my way back to the edge." Nick heard a gulp from the across the table, seeing the wide eyed looks in Sanders expressions. "He wouldn't have let me drown or anythin'. He just told me that the fastest way to learn was if I was fightin' for my own survival."

"I'm glad you said no." Jean spoke to him for the first time, dreading the thought of her grandson being thrown into a dirty lake. "We tried to get Greg swimming lessons when he was around ten or eleven. He stayed at the edge of the pool the whole time, holding the rail, while the other kids who were three or four years younger than him were splashing him with water. I never saw such an awful look of terror on his face before. I pulled him right and cancelled the lessons. He was terrified to try again, but being on a boat never bothered him."

"Still sitting right here." Greg pointed out to her. "I'll learn how to swim… eventually. Maybe Nicky can teach me. I'll add it to my bucket list."

"Bucket list?" Papa Olaf gave him a confused look.

"Just a little something I thought I'd try." Greg smiled in the direction of his boyfriend.

"Just don't go crazy with it. I don't want to hear about you skydiving or free climbing a building like those loons on the news." Nana Olaf warned him.

"Let the boy have a little fun. We sure did at his age." His Papa Olaf giggled softly, grabbing himself another pancake. "These aren't half bad for homemade, Jeany."

"Thank you… I think." Jean smiled at her father, pushing herself to her feet. "Can I get anyone any more pancakes?"

"No, thank you, Mrs Sanders." Nick shook his head.

"It's still, Jean." She gave him a smile, grabbing his finished plate from in front of him. "Greg, do you need any more coffee?"

"No, I actually have to pee." Greg scraped his chair back, giving his mother a smile as he hurried away. When he returned he found Evan, his father and Papa Olaf in the front room playing with some toys, but no sign of Nick. His mother was in the kitchen fixing herself a pot of coffee and his Nana Olaf was sweeping down the crumbs from the counter. "Hey, where did Nick go?"

"Out by his truck. He _is_ allowed to go somewhere without you, Greg. Believe it or not, you're not joined at the hip." Jean smiled round at her love struck son. "What time are you leaving?"

"A couple of hours… I know what you're going to say." He stopped her there. "You hardly got to see, Evan while we were here, but I had to do something to make Nick feel… more at ease. He actually slept for the first time in weeks. He's starting to talk to me again. I'm just starting to get his trust back."

"That's not what I was going to say." His mother protested, setting her coffee down on the side. "I would have liked more time with Evan, but it's obvious that Nick needs space right now. I thought it was just the dinner the other day that was awkward, but he's… different."

"Yeah, I know." Greg spotted the man in question out the window. "He's still in there though. I keep seeing a glimmer of the man he used to be every now and then. I need to get him in front of a shrink or something. He felt safe enough to sleep on the boat and he didn't wake up once. I know because I was watching him."

"Has he been looking for a doctor to talk to?"

"I don't know." Greg shrugged his shoulders together, making his way towards the door. "I'm moving in with him next week, so I'll be able to keep a better eye on him." He left his mother to process that little piece of information, while he made his way outside to talk to Nick. "Hey."

"Hi." Nick gave him a slight smile, putting his back to his truck. "I'm okay, Greg."

"I didn't actually ask that time." He smiled back, stopping in front of him. He watched him just be for a moment, before he decided to break the silence. "I guess we better be leaving soon if we want to get back in time. Are you ready to go home, Nicky?"

"Yeah… I guess."

"Don't sound too excited." Greg playfully jabbed him in the side, stepping close enough to hold his hands at his sides. "You slept on the boat. You actually look well rested for a change. Do you think you can do it again in your own bed?"

"It wasn't the boat that made me feel safe," The Texan admitted, weaving his fingers through Greg's. "It was knowin' that you were nearby. The underground coffin wasn't even the worst part of it. The ants, the bomb underneath me, the dirt cavin' in on top of me… none of that compared to bein' completely alone down there. I slept last night… because you were with me."

"And I wasn't even armed."

"You don't have to be armed to be there for me." He pulled him closer, putting his arms around his waist. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden."

"You're not a burden. I wanted you back one hundred percent. Head stuff and all." Greg gave him a playful smile, grabbing the collar to Nick's shirt. He pulled him close enough to seal their lips together, pinning Nick between himself and the truck. "My mother's neighbours are gonna start talking if we stay out here one second longer."

"If we were in Texas, they'd be grabbin' their huntin' rifles right about now."

"In that case, I'm glad we're in California." He giggled softly, relieved that they were finally talking again. "I've really missed this. When we get everything sorted back home, maybe we should do this again. We all need a vacation every once in a while, right?"

Nick gave him a slight nod in return.

"C'mon baby, just a couple more hours with my folks, then we'll be on our way home."

"Oh, yeah." Nick peeled himself off his truck, giving the younger man a grin. "Your place or mine?"


	31. Chapter 30 - Domestic Life

**Chapter Thirty – Domestic Life**

Rolling over on the big comfy bed in his boyfriend's bedroom, Greg gave out a soft moan, reaching his arms out for his partner's warmth, only to find himself alone. He forced himself into a sitting position a little too fast, waiting for the head rush to clear, before he felt stable enough to climb out of bed. "Nick… Nicky, are you here?" He grabbed his t-shirt off the floor, pulling it on as he made his way down the hall.

Greg shielded his eyes from the sun pouring in through the window, stumbling over one of his boxes on his route to the kitchen. He hadn't officially moved in yet, but he managed to cart over some his stuff between shifts during the past week, making the house more like an obstacle course than a place to live.

"Nick?" He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, finding a note on the fridge with his name on it. He pulled off the Iron Man shaped magnet keeping it pinned, hoping it wasn't a break up letter as he tore it open.

He unfolded the piece of paper inside, making one last attempt to clear the cobwebs from his eyes, before he attempted to read it.

 _Morning Gorgeous. Taking Evan off to school then going grocery shopping. Heard you get in late, didn't want to wake you. Text me if you need anything. One four three, baby._

Greg immediately smiled, refolding the letter into the envelope, grabbing his phone off the side. He tugged out the charger from the bottom, making sure that Nick knew how much he loved him too. He felt as though their relationship had finally returned to the honeymoon phase that he had missed so much.

"Ow, arggh…" Greg hopped about on one foot, after stubbing his toe on a Lego block. He couldn't help but smile as he picked it up, despite the pain in his toe. He had missed out on discarded toys, busted toes and the nagging to tidy up the toys lying about over the past six years. The pain in his toe reminded him he was finally right where he was supposed to be in the world.

At home with his family.

He still felt a little like the awkward guest who never left though. The place was filled with Nick and Evan's memories and mementos. Take the empty yoghurt pot on the side that had been stripped of any identity. He had no idea if it had been left there to go out with the trash, if it was part of a DIY project or if Evan planned on using it as a toy.

The fridge was harder to navigate.

Nick told him to help himself to anything he wanted, but he hadn't exactly paid for any of it. The half eaten chocolate bar in the fridge door looked very appetising right now, but he didn't know who had put it there and whether they'd be back for the other half later or something. He skimmed his fingers over the miniature yoghurt pots, the cold cuts and the half eaten burrito, wishing one of them were here so he could ask.

Leaving the fridge with an empty stomach, Greg decided to grab himself a shower, before he struggled to find himself something to wear. He had tons of clothes in the laundry basket, but he had yet to figure out Nick's washer to get them cleaned and he hated to ask.

Greg helped himself to one of Nick's t-shirts and a pair of his slim fit jeans. They didn't quite fit him in the same way, but they were comfortable enough to walk around the house in and he felt completely surrounded with Nick.

 _"Your fourth message about the washer officially counts as stalkin',"_ The man in question finally decided to call him. _"How is it a guy like you with a brain like Einstein can't figure out how to use a very basic machine that washes your clothes?"_

"Are you gonna help me or not, cowboy?" Greg knelt down in front of the machine, waiting for some instructions.

 _"I can do it when I get back, G. I don't mind washin' your clothes alongside mine and Evan's."_

"I'm here now, just talk me through it."

 _"A'ight,"_ The older man chuckled softly, parking his shopping cart in the frozen foods aisle to give his boyfriend a very basic set of instructions. _"Now if you did it right, you should hear the water comin' through the pipe."_

"That's a negative on the water. Houston, we have a problem." Greg sighed softly, pounding his finger into the start button again. "C'mon, start. Hey, what's this blinking light for?"

 _"I don't know. What's it look like?"_ Nick strolled further down the aisle, looking for the pizzas.

"Uh… I don't know. Kinda like a… a little padlock."

 _"That's the child lock. You've hit the start button too many times. Hold it down for five seconds until the padlock stops blinkin', then do it again to unlock it."_ He gave the woman in front of him a slight smile, turning in the opposite direction so he could continue talking to his boyfriend. _"Is it workin'?"_

"I hear water." Greg smiled proudly at himself, sitting back on his heels. "Thank you, Nicky. I'll pay you back for the powder, fabric softener and stuff."

 _"No need for that, baby. What's mine is yours now. Hey, what kinda pizza do you want?"_

"Pizza?" Greg liked how he skated over that marriage line as if it were nothing. "As in frozen store bought? I don't eat them anymore. You don't have to buy me food, Nick. I can get my own stuff."

 _"I thought we could eat dinner like a normal family. Semi normal family, since you're gonna leave us tonight to go work at the lab. You don't like pizza anymore?"_

"Oh I like pizza, just not the cook from frozen stuff." Greg climbed to his feet, feeling his stomach rumbling with hunger once again. "You're not working at the lab tonight?"

 _"Nah, I got two nights off. Warrick offered to switch shifts with me, so I could catch up on some sleep. Since I can actually sleep for more than an hour at a time now, I figured I'd take him up on his offer. Hey, if you don't want pizza, then what do you want?"_

"I don't know, whatever you guys want."

 _"Helpful, G."_ The man smirked, browsing the next section over.

"In that case, I can cook you my Nana's famous pot roast. I'm gonna swing by my apartment in a few hours to pick up the last of my stuff, then I go grocery shopping myself to cook you guys a proper meal."

 _"Why do you have such a problem with me doin' anythin' for you, G? I'm at the store right now, just tell me what you need and I'll pick it up. I'll even make it for you since you're the one bringin' home the bacon at the moment. C'mon, let me do somethin' for you."_

Unable to resist the Texan charm, Greg gave in, telling the man exactly what he needed to get. "Hey and don't get the frozen roast potatoes. They're not the real thing unless you do em yourself. Buy them fresh."

 _"Believe it or not, I know how to roast a potato, G. I've been makin' home cooked meals every night for the past six years now."_ He pointed out to him. _"So, I'll swing past your place before I have to pick Evan up from school then."_

"Okay, Tex. Drive safe."

 _"You too, baby. And do me a favour and eat somethin' before you go. I told you, what's mine is yours now."_

"Count on it, I've got my eye on that burrito." He chuckled softly, brushing his fingertips across a photo of the older man pinned to the fridge. "Bye." Greg reluctantly hung up on him, going for the burrito before he changed his mind again. It didn't taste half as good as he anticipated, but it was enough to satisfy the rumbling of his stomach long enough to get him to his apartment.

He only had a few days left before he was expected to move out, so he had to get a move on.

"Greg? Boxes, tape and coffee as requested." Nick let himself into the younger man's apartment, setting down the things from his hands. He grabbed the carton coffee mug, making his way through to the bedroom in the back. "Maybe I should have got you an espresso shot?" He smiled, catching the younger man yawning widely as he made his way in.

"Black coffee is good for now." Greg leant up on his knees from the floor, grabbing the coffee from his hands. "Thank you. This is the last of it. Then I'm officially moved out and you'll be happy to know that I've switched realtors. He's meeting me or us, tomorrow. He'll text me the address of the first house. Are you still sure you want to buy a house with me?"

"It's either that or I take my sister up on the offer to move in with her." The Texan gave him a cheeky grin. "Of course I want to buy a house with you, baby. I'm just worried that you're gonna get your first taste of domestic life and hightail it out of here."

"Domestic life?" Greg raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Yeah, the 'hi honey, I'm home' stuff. On the cusp of bein' a married couple. Sharin' everythin' from grocery shoppin', to doin' chores around the house, sharin' the bills, school drop offs, makin' meals together…" Nick laid it out for him, remembering the last time he discussed something like this with Greg. It was less than a month before Greg left for San Francisco. "Everythin' you left me for."

"Okay, I deserved that look." Greg nodded his head slightly, taking a small sip of the coffee in his hands. "If you want a marriage proposal to go along with our new house keys, I can do that. Nicky, I want all of that stuff with you. It's why I came back. I'm literally on my knees already if you want some kind of proof."

"I don't need you to propose." Nick stuffed his hands into his pockets, giving him a smile as he leant against the doorframe. "I just wonna know that this is for real. This time last week, you were still avoidin' my calls. Now we're livin' together, you're treadin' on eggshells around me, actin' more like a house guest than part of this family. I feel like I'm goin' in circles here with you, G. If I say or do somethin' else in the next few days, is that gonna be it for us?"

"Okay… I deserved that look too." Greg set his coffee down, sitting himself cross legged on the floor. "Does this mean we're looking for separate places?"

"I don't know." Nick shrugged his shoulders together. "It means that I think we should be a little cautious." He finally stepped into his room, perching himself on the edge of the younger man's bed. "It's not just _us_ in this anymore. There's Evan to think about… and this baby. I can deal with you leavin' me. I know I deserve it…"

"Nick…"

"Our kids are innocent in this." Nick cut him off. "They don't deserve to get tangled up in our mess."

"So, what do you want me to do?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders together, wishing he knew. "I just think that we should take this slow. No giant leaps into the future without thinkin' it through."

"So… no house?" Greg gave him a curious look, feeling his heart sinking a little as Nick didn't have an answer for him. He pushed himself to his feet, joining the older man on his bed. "I get it, the being cautious thing. But in less than a month we're both going to be homeless and we shouldn't be wasting our money on two separate places until we figure things out, so how about one house with separate rooms? We divide everything fifty, fifty like roommates. We can set up a rotor for household chores…"

"Roommates?" Nick raised an eyebrow in his direction, giving him a wide smile. "And what are we supposed to do when it all goes belly up?"

"It won't, because I love you. I already know all of your bad habits. I know what not to do to avoid annoying you and I want to make this work not only for you and me, but for Evan and any future children that we may or may not have." He playfully pushed the older man backwards across his bed, swinging his leg over his hips to straddle him. "I want this to work, so I know it's going to. I admit that I've had a wobble here and there since you told me about, Evan, but I was just trying to figure things out. I've never been lied to like this before, especially not by someone who I thought trusted me with their life."

"I do trust you with my life." Nick propped himself up on his elbows, enjoying the feel of a man on top of him again. "I do. You're about the only person I do trust with my life. If you think that we can make this work, then I trust you, baby."

His Texan accent was thick and luscious, only proving he was sincere.

"So house hunting together is a go?"

"Yeah… alright then," He smiled back. "But I'm not sleepin' in a spare room."

Greg threw his head back in laughter, adoring the man beneath him even more. "I'm sorry, but who's the one going in circles now? Didn't you just say that this whole thing was a bad idea and we should take it slow?"

"Yeah, but I can't exactly make a good argument when there's a gorgeous man on top of me sportin' wood." He playfully lifted his hips towards him.

"Wow, that was easy. I should do this more often."

"You won't get any complaints from me." Nick smiled back at him. "Today was the first day I actually felt like we could do this. I was grocery shoppin', you were home doin' laundry. It was my first taste of domestic life with you and I don't want it to end. I just want to make sure that this is what you want, Greg. I don't want to trap you in somethin' that you don't really want."

"Trapping me in a life with a gorgeous man, a beautiful bright little boy and a baby on the way… yeah, sounds awful to me." Greg sarcastically remarked, resting his hands either side of him on the bed. "You know I have to kiss you now, right?"

He closed the gap between them, sealing their lips together for the first time in days. The kiss was slow and steady, filled with lust and desire, but he agreed that they needed to take things slow.

He pulled back a second later, resting their foreheads together as he listened to the soft breaths escaping his partner's lips. He had really missed this closeness between them and he wasn't about to say or do anything that could jeopardise this feeling, but he needed a minute.

"Is… somethin' wrong?" Nick lifted his eyes, feeling his chest heaving with every breath.

Greg brushed his thumb across the man's lips, breathing in his delicious scent. "No… I was just thinking. You've always put me on a pedestal, ever since we first met. You treat me as though I could never do anything wrong. I'm worried that one day you're going to see me… really see me for what I am… and you won't like what you see."

"I do see you."

"The real me?"

"I know you're not perfect, G. But I'm in love with you." He reached his hand up, brushing his thumb across the younger man's cheek. "I love everythin' about you, includin' your flaws. Your bad habits, your beautiful smile, your tendency to over talk and make awkward situations even more awkward. They make you the man I love, and I wouldn't change a thing about you."

"Nothing?" Greg tilted his head to the side, giving the older man a smile. "Nothing at all? Not even slightly more muscled. A little taller maybe. Better hair, or even slightly more good looking…"

Nick cut him off with his lips, pulling his body closer to his own. He smiled as he broke the kiss, gently teasing his fingertips beneath the younger man's shirt. "I don't want more muscles. I don't want taller. Your hair is amazin' already and I don't think there's anyone more beautiful than you out there. I only want you."

"You're sure about the muscles?" Greg sat back on his partner's thighs, smoothing his hands down his partner's taut abs. "Because you know I could spend some more time at the gym if you…"

"Positive." Nick pressed their lips together, teasing his tongue into his partner's mouth. His elbows eventually gave out as they continued their kiss, causing them both to collapse against the middle of the bed. He moaned in protest as he felt Greg's hand beneath his shirt, seizing hold of his wrist, before he popped any buttons. "Baby, I have to pick Evan up from school in an hour."

"That's plenty of time." The younger man rasped against his neck, tugging his shirt out from his jeans. "Just relax, Tex."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind for takin' things slow, G." Nick stayed lying down, closing his eyes as the younger man nipped and sucked playful kisses across the nape of his neck. He couldn't help but smile as he reached his collar bone, almost wishing he had the will power to push him away.

When he started to kiss a warm trail down his chest though, he was powerless to do anything but moan in absolute pleasure. He lost track of the time as soon as his jeans were discarded, desperately digging his fingers into the mattress either side of him as his pleasure only continued to increase. He felt as though he was on cloud nine over and over again, until Greg finally brought him to the brink of explosion.

Greg crawled across the Texan's body before he could, playfully nipping a kiss to his lips as he rode out his wave of pleasure. "I love you, Tex." He whispered against his lips, grinning widely as he watched the man helplessly panting for a breath. He lay watching him for five minutes or so, until he saw life returning to Nick's eyes. "You're so cute when you're under my thumb."

"You'll pay for that, Sanders." He jabbed his younger lover in the side, adoring the look in his eyes.

"I can't wait."

"By the way, are you wearin' my clothes?" Nick examined the jeans still around his partner's hips, sensing something familiar about them. "I thought you put your clothes in my washer today?"

"I did, but I didn't have anything left to wear, so I borrowed some of yours. You don't mind, do you?" Greg stole one last kiss from his lips, before he clambered towards the edge of the bed. "Fancy a quick shower before you have to make the school run?"

"As soon as my legs start workin' again, I have to go."

"Oh c'mon, cowboy." Greg grabbed his arms, hoisting him towards the edge of the bed. "Don't play the exhausted card on me now. You've still got half an hour to get to the school. That's plenty of time for a quick shower together."

"Remember the takin' things slow part of our conversation. I did say that out loud, right?"

"Yeah, I remember it." Greg reluctantly sat himself on the bed beside him again. "I don't think we can go much slower though. We have a six year old son, a baby on the way, we're about to be homeless and we're in the middle of house hunting. So explain to me how we can go slower in a situation like this."

"Please… can we just take things between us a little slower?"

The younger man sighed softly, giving him a slight nod. "Alright then, but you owe me." He clambered off the bed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You better go then. I've got some more packing to do, before I give the place a quick clean. Hopefully it'll look good enough to get my deposit back." He turned away from Nick, returning to his boxes on the floor.

"We're cool?" Nick double checked, collecting his clothes from the floor.

"Yeah, we're cool." Greg kept his back to him, dumping more clothes into the box beside him. He flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder, instinctively leaning back into the embrace of the older man. "I understand the reason to want to take things slow. You don't have to explain yourself."

"That's not actually what I was going to say. I was gonna ask… if you could do me a favour?"

"Yeah… anything."

"Can you forgive Sara for me?" Nick dropped the bombshell on him. "She really misses you, G. If you can forgive me for everythin' that I've done then forgivin' Sara should be a piece of cake. She didn't have a child without you and lie to you for years."

"She kinda did."

"I asked her to lie." He pointed out to him. "It's my fault. The two of you have been like brother and sister since she joined the lab. You can't let that friendship or the bond that you guys had slip away because of somethin' that _I_ did. I already have a lot to make up for; don't let Sara take the blame."

Greg couldn't help but smile, finally looking round at the older man. "Are you taking a twelve step programme that I don't know about?"

"No." Nick gave him a weak smile back. "I'm just tryin' to do things right. You'll be happy to know that I did get that shrinks number off my brother and I've booked an appointment. My first session is tomorrow afternoon, so I'll need you to pick Evan up from school."

"Yeah sure… no problem," Greg gave him a proud smile. "You're really gonna go?"

"I'd rather talk to you, but yeah, I'll go. I'm already sleepin' better, but maybe I need to talk to someone a little more professional to sort out my head stuff."

"For that… I'll consider forgiving, Sara."

"Thank you." The Texan wrapped his arms around him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "You know that its not that I don't want to be with Greg, I do. I just want to do things right. I'm tryin' to break my cycle of screwin' everythin' up. I love you so much, G. This is my second chance to be with you and I don't want to screw it up."

"I get it." Greg tilted his head back. "Doesn't mean I have to like it, but I get it. Part of marriage is learning how to compromise, right? See, I might be husband material after all."

"I'll tell you what." Nick lifted the younger man's hand from his side, brushing his thumb across the empty space on his finger. "If we're still together this time next year and we make it through findin' a house, raisin' Evan together, havin' this baby and livin' together for that long… then I'll consider puttin' a ring on your finger."

"Okay, you're on, Tex." He quickly grabbed the man's wrist, looking at the date on his watch. "Today is… December third. I'll mark it on the calendar and prove to you that I'm in this for the long haul. You, Evan… Greg junior," Greg gave him a cheeky grin. "You're all that matters to me now."


	32. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Greg?" Warrick's voice echoed through the empty house. He figured they would have at least started decorating or unpacking by now, four weeks after moving in, but the walls were so bare, his footsteps were echoing through them. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to keep himself from poking through the boxes of their things, stamping his way through to the kitchen. "Hey, Sanders. Where you at?"

A lot of things had changed since the last time he was here. The baby proofing for one. He noticed the child proof lock on the refrigerator right away and the safety gate propped up against the living room doorframe.

In the kitchen he found a half eaten bowl of mac and cheese left on the counter, feeling his stomach rumbling with hunger, just from the sight of it. He felt tempted to pick at it, but then he heard a crash coming from upstairs.

"Greg?" Turning on his heels, Warrick hurried for the stairs, taking them up two at a time. He almost stumbled over a box of toys in his haste to see what was going on.

The landing upstairs was more like a death trap than a safe place for their kids to play.

"Hey, Greg. Is that you?"

Approaching the open bedroom door at the end of the hall, Warrick felt as though he was walking onto the set of a lame horror movie or something. The door made an eerie screech as it opened ever so slightly and he could feel a cold breeze coming through the gap, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

He half expected some kind of flesh eating monster to jump out at him if he got any closer, but he knew Nick would never forgive him if he let anything happen to Greg, so he had to go in. He cautiously pushed the door open with his foot, examining the empty room for a moment, before he stepped inside.

A box of overturned clothes hangers lay on the floor, just enough to have caused the crash he heard earlier.

He quickly cast his eyes towards the bathroom door, practically jumping out of his skin at the sight of another person.

"Warrick." Greg secured his towel tightly around his waist after his shower, giving the man a curious look. "Uh… what are you doing in my bedroom? I know Nick said to keep an eye on us while he was out of town, but I don't think this is what he had in mind. Not that I'm not flattered."

"Uh… I'm… not even," Warrick shook his head, averting his eyes from the water droplets running down the younger man's bruised chest. "I uh… I got a call at the lab. Nick's flight was delayed. He won't be back until tomorrow. He said he tried to call you a few times, but there was no answer. He sounded worried, so I thought I'd stop by and see if you were… did you know your front door was just left open?" He tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, Evan is just across the street with my neighbour and her kids." Greg flashed him a smile, going for his phone on the nightstand to check his messages for himself. Four missed calls and three unread text messages.

He was definitely worried.

"You realise that you live in Las Vegas, right?" Warrick continued. He sounded like a father giving a lecture to his teenage son, who had been caught out after curfew. "You can't just leave your front door open like that, especially while you're taking a shower. You're just asking for trouble doing that. Have you learned nothing during your time as a CSI?"

"Yeah, I got the message loud and clear." Greg brushed his fingertips across the fist shaped bruise on his chest. "I'm just not paranoid about every little thing. My neighbour, Karen is watching Evan and her kids right across the street. The door is open so he can come and go as he pleases. Besides, we have security cameras on practically every house and our very own neighbourhood watch. Why do you think we chose this neighbourhood?"

"That's no excuse, Greg."

Sighing softly, Greg grabbed himself some clean clothes from the closet, watching Warrick quickly spinning to face the doorway. "That's right, hide your blushing eyes." He teased him.

"Can we talk seriously for a minute here, Greggo?" He sounded mad. "I could have been anyone walking into your house."

"Aren't I lucky that it was just you then? I know you'd never try anything with me, even if I do look irresistible." Greg couldn't help himself; he was just too easy to wind up. "Besides, I'm guessing half my neighbours saw you pull up in your car and the whole block saw you walk in the house. I'm surprised neighbourhood watch didn't chase you in." He pulled on a t-shirt and his jeans, dropping to the edge of his bed to pull on some socks. "Did you really come all this way just to lecture me? I hate to break it to you, Warrick, but you're not my father."

"I know that, Greg." Warrick took a cautious look over his shoulder, making sure the man was fully clothed, before he turned to face him. "I came to see how you were coping. We haven't seen much of you around the lab, since… well since…"

"Since I was pulled from my car and beaten to a bloody pulp?" Greg pushed himself off the bed, approaching the mirror against the wall. His eye was still a little swollen. He could actually see out of it now, but it still ached in his skull, especially when he tried to open it. It would heal eventually though. He was more concerned with the deep scars on his face that weren't fading away as well as he had hoped.

The bruising and swelling were all going down just as the doctor said, but he would forever be marked by his ugly battle scars after that terrible night in the alleyway.

He couldn't help but wonder if Nick would still love him.

"Well, yeah. Since you bring it up," Warrick awkwardly stuffed his hands into his pockets, watching Greg wincing as he prodded the bruise on his chin. "Thanks to you, a man is alive with his family right now."

"Yeah, and one's dead."

"Not your fault. He made his choice to join a gang of thugs that go around beating people up for fun. You made a choice to risk your life to save someone else." Warrick took another step closer. "You did the right thing, Greg."

"What are you even doing here?" He cut him off rather abruptly.

"We haven't talked much since the hospital. I wanted to see how you were doing. Your face looks a little better. How are the ribs?"

"Nick has only been gone a week. Believe it or not, I can cope without him." Greg pushed past the man in his bedroom doorway, weaving through the hazards in the hallway to get to the stairs. "Ev, no shoes in the house." He caught the child running across the hardwood floors downstairs.

"I'm just getting my bike." Evan hurried into the back garden, grabbing his bike from the lawn. He was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, but from the knees down, he was caked in mud.

"Could you at least take it through the gate?" Greg blocked his entrance into the house.

"The locks busted again. Trey and Josh will go without me if I don't hurry."

"Whoa, whoa, where are you going? I thought you were staying at Karen's house." Greg placed his hands on the handlebars of his bike, stopping him from taking it any further. "You know that you're supposed to ask Daddy or me, before you go anywhere else."

Evan screwed up his face, his brows pinched together. "Why?"

The two of them had been butting heads since Nick left, really showing the cracks in their relationship. He was supposed to be the adult in their relationship, but most of the time he felt as though he had no idea what he was doing and Evan knew it too, so he pushed him as much as he could.

"Because… I said so. That's why. Now take those muddy shoes off before you come back in the house."

"No, I want to go on a bike ride!" The seven year old, angrily protested.

"Hey, Evan." Warrick appeared beside the younger man. "That's a cool looking bike."

Evan glared at Greg a moment, before he turned to look at his Uncle. "Grandpop's bought it for my birthday. Daddy put the bell on it last weekend." He gave it a quick 'ding'.

"Yeah, it's nice. Put it down for a second, will yah. Come here, I wonna talk to you for a sec." Warrick stepped out into the garden with him, taking over the situation again. He knelt down in front of the child, reminding him that he was supposed to be on his best behaviour while his father was away, especially while Greg was still recovering.

When he returned to the house, he found the kitchen completely deserted with no sign of Greg. He made his way through to the front room, hoping he hadn't just taken off. He turned for the stairs ready to call his name, sighing in relief as he spotted him sunk low on the sofa, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Greg, there you are."

"I didn't need you to do that." Greg spoke up, lifting his gaze to meet Warrick's. "Believe it or not, I am capable of talking to my own son. Nick's only been gone a week. We're coping just fine without him. We don't need you butting in."

"Hey, I was just trying to help." Warrick raised his hands either side of him like a suspect, before he joined him on the sofa. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to butt in. I just figured… if Nick was here, he'd do anything to put a smile back on that face. You mean the world to him and while he's gone… I kinda feel responsible for you."

"You don't have to… honestly, we're doing okay." Greg gave him a slight smile in response, brushing his fingertips across the bump on his forehead. "It's just been… one of those days."

"Yeah, tell me about it." The older man smirked, wishing he could forget a few things about the case he just worked. "What is it… a headache?" He noticed the way the younger man was screwing his face up.

"Sort of… it'll pass." Greg attempted to close his eyes, hearing the patter of tiny feet. He glanced up as they stopped in front of him, welcoming a hug from his little boy. It hurt his ribs when he held him close, but he wasn't about to pass up the opportunity of his first hug in days. "Ew, all over my arm. Why are you so muddy?" He chuckled softly, realising his shower was pointless now he was caked in mud again.

"Trey has a mud slide in his back garden."

"A mud slide. Wow, that's cool. So you've been slipping and sliding through the mud, now your dear old Papa's covered in it." Greg gently combed his fingers through Evan's adorable buzz cut hairstyle, wishing Nick would hurry home soon. Evan was growing up so fast already. He didn't intend on cutting their son's hair behind Nick's back, but Evan practically begged him to have his hair styled the same as the other boys in his class. He looked so much like Nick now, only making Greg miss him even more.

"Papa, I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry. Just like your Daddy. Could it have something to do with you not finishing your lunch, huh?" Greg playfully tickled his sides, lifting him down onto the floor. "I'll see what we've got. What do you say Uncle Warrick, you wonna stay for dinner?"

"I wouldn't want to impose." Warrick climbed to his feet, following them into the kitchen. He watched the younger man holding his ribs as he walked, wondering how Nick could leave him when he was like this. "So uh, where's the little one today? Nick didn't take him with him, did he?"

"No way. Are you kidding?" Greg smirked, lifting his son up to the counter to wash his mucky little hands. "Abel can't tolerate car rides. He'd be a nightmare on a plane. He's been out with his Grandma for a couple of hours. She should be back soon. Ready to put these boys down for bed, so I can go to work."

"Work, I didn't see your name on the lab schedule." He gave him a curious look. "I thought you were still on light desk duties."

Greg responded with a glare, warning the older man to drop it.

Warrick tried to stay out of the younger man's way, turning for the door as he heard it opening again. "Mrs Stokes," He greeted the woman, giving her a hand with the heavy stroller. "Nick didn't mention that you were back in town."

"Oh, hi Warrick. I wanted to be here for, Greg and the boys while Nicky was away." Jillian gave him a warm smile, adjusting the baby in her arms. "I couldn't leave him on his own for the first time with these two after he just got out of the hospital. I've got to start building bridges somewhere. Here, could you take him a second? I have groceries in the car."

"Yeah, sure." Warrick took a step closer, carefully sliding his hands beneath the adorable infant's arms. The baby immediately cooed, wildly kicking his legs about as the man brought him close to his chest. "Hi. Hi, Abel." He gave the little boy a wide smile, smirking as the baby blow a spit bubble in his direction. He hadn't seen him in a few weeks now, but he was definitely getting bigger. He had a full head of dark brown hair, rather than random patches and an adorable smile that reminded him of Greg. "Whoa, he's getting heavy."

"Yeah, he's just starting to get mobile too." Jillian loaded her arms up with grocery bags, carrying them into the house. "He's been scooting around on his tummy for the past few days. I recon he's going to start crawling any day now, but you have to hold on until Daddy gets back, don't you?"

"Oh," Warrick remembered, turning his attention away from the baby in his arms for a moment. He made sure that Greg was out of earshot, before he whispered, "Has Nick called you yet?"

"No, he should be getting in soon, shouldn't he?" She checked the time on her watch.

"Actually," Warrick leant closer, double checking that Greg wasn't looking their way. "He came back early. He's setting up a little surprise for, Greg. I'm supposed to stall him until Nick's ready. Don't tell him anything though."

"Oh, Mom's the word." The woman chuckled softly, tapping her nose.

"So uh, how's he been?" Warrick asked her, adjusting the baby against his side as he started to squirm. He didn't realise a baby of his age could be so strong already, but he was practically pulling out of his arms. "Greg, I mean. How's he been?"

Jillian shrugged her shoulders together, looking through to the kitchen at the younger man. "Quiet. I know I don't know him as well as you do, but he seems a little too quiet. He does everything he can for these boys though. Abel's been colicly lately, so they've both been sleeping rough. I try to help out, but he'll only let me do the most minimal thing." She hung up her jacket, taking the bags through to Greg. "Oh Evan, why are you so mucky?"

"Mud slide." The child giggled softly.

"Oh, lovely." She sarcastically remarked, setting the grocery bags down on the counter. "Greg, would you like me to give him a quick bath? You should be getting ready for work." She played along. "I'll bath him and do their dinner." Jillian lifted the child down from the counter, ushering him towards the stairs. "I'm glad I only had two boys. I don't miss the muck you get yourselves into one bit. Although your Auntie Gwen was bad enough."

"But I don't want a bath yet." Evan protested.

"Evan." Warrick gave him a stern look, reminding him of their little talk earlier.

With a heavy sigh, the child zipped his lips, reluctantly following his grandmother up the stairs to bath off the mud.

"Oh Greg, I think this one needs a diaper change." Warrick returned to the kitchen, extending the smelly baby towards him. Abel screwed up his adorable little face as he started to cry, kicking and squirming so much, he could barely hold onto him. "Do you want me to do it?"

"No, I've got it." Greg scooped the infant out of his arms, pressing multiple kisses to his red little cheek. "Oh Bubbub, do you have something nasty in your dippy?"

Warrick rolled his eyes at the younger man, until he saw him flinching from the weight of the squirmy baby. He could practically see the pain written all over his face. "Hey, you a'ight, man?"

"Peachy." The younger man struggled to get onto his knees on the floor, calming his fussy baby boy with a playful kiss to his head. He carefully lowered him to the change mat beneath him, bending to kiss his tiny little hands. He spoke softly to him as he kissed his little palms, bringing back his baby boy's adorable little smile.

"You're really good with him." Warrick noticed for the first time. He knew Nick was good with kids because he was always around them, but he had never seen Greg in action before.

"You say that like you expected me to suck at this." He gave his baby boy a wide smile, before he started popping open the buttons to his onesie. "Abel's the easy one at the moment. I thought Evan and I were cool, but he seems to hate everything I do at the moment."

"He's just testing you while Nick's not here. I used to do the same thing to my babysitters. I don't think you should be on shift in this state." He saw the younger man holding his ribs as he reached out for the diaper bag in front of him.

"I'm not his babysitter. I'm his father." Greg reminded the man. "And why are you so nosy all of a sudden? Unless Nick sent you round to spy on me, why do you care where I'm going?"

"He didn't send me round to spy and I care because we're family, Greg."

"Self defence training." The younger man blurted it out, smiling as he lifted his gaze to meet the older man's. "What do you think I was having some secret affair or something while Nick was out of town? When would I have had the time?"

"I never…" He shook his head, realising Greg was teasing him again. "So, self defence training. That's new, right?"

"Yeah, Grissom recommended it. A shrink can only do so much. I don't actually know if I'll ever use any of it, but it couldn't hurt to have it, right? It won't help me in the courtroom when they're accusing me of being a murderer, but at least if it happens again, they'll accuse me of being trained to do something like this." Greg sealed the tabs of his son's new diaper, popping the buttons of his onesie back into place. "All clean. Does that feel better?"

"Does Nick know that you're doing this?"

"Nope." Greg scooped his son into his arms, pushing himself to his feet again. "I'll tell him in my own time." He handed the baby back to Warrick, while he disposed the diaper. "Did you talk about anything else when he called?"

"Uh… no, nuthin'." Warrick adjusted the baby in his arms, letting him sit back against his chest. "He just asked how you had been."

"And you told him… what?" Greg waited for an answer, but the older man responded by rolling his eyes at him. "Nick's been waiting for this opportunity to advance his career for months, years even. This was his one shot to get his foot in the door and get his chance at being lab supervisor. If you ruin this for him…"

"I told him you were fine." Warrick answered, feeling Abel bumping his head against his chin. He looked down at the alert baby boy, smiling as he had his eyes fixated on him. "I don't want to ruin this for him. And you think I want him to worry about you? Anymore than he already does." He pointed out to him.

"I'm only going to say this one more time, Warrick." Greg stepped closer, easing his baby boy out of the man's arms. "I am fine. I don't need a guardian angel or a babysitter. I'm a grown man. I can take care of myself." He whisked his baby boy away, leaving Warrick stood alone in the kitchen.

Rather than leaving it at that, Warrick perched himself on the edge of the dining table, waiting for him to return. He glanced down at his phone as it started to vibrate, reading the message _'ready'_ from his other half. He didn't know how he was supposed to get Greg out of the house now, but he couldn't ruin this night for him and all.

"So Greg," He caught him on his return trip down the stairs. "When are you leaving for this defence training?" Warrick relieved him of the heavy laundry basket in his hands, carrying it through to the utility room for him. "C'mon, I'm just curious. Don't give me that look."

"Uh, it starts at six. And that look was because you're acting very… suspicious." Greg took the basket off his hands, throwing in another load of his boys washing, before it piled up on him again. "Nick sent you round here to keep an eye on me, didn't he?"

"No, I'm a free agent, I swear. I just wanted to see how you were doing. And the boys, I haven't seen them in weeks."

"Uh huh," Greg hummed, not believing that for a second.

"You know, we better leave now if we want to beat the traffic." Warrick motioned towards the door, trying to keep a lid on the surprise. "I've got my car here. Let me drive you."

"Remember what I said?"

"I know, you don't need a babysitter." The older man raised his hands, leaning against the doorframe to the utility room. "I'm just offering you a ride, Greg. Where's the harm in that?"

Sighing softly, Greg shrugged his shoulders together, before he switched the washer on in front of him. He waited for the familiar sound of water entering the pipe, before he pushed himself to his feet. "Alright, I'll take you up on the ride. But I pick the music and we don't talk about me."

"Done." The older man smiled. "Are you ready to go then?"

"I haven't even fixed the boys any dinner yet."

"I can do that." Jillian appeared behind them, grabbing one of the fresh towels off the side. "I don't mind making them dinner and putting them to bed. It _is_ my last day with them."

"You're both acting really suspicious now." Greg gave them a sceptical look, watching the two of them exchanging a sly smile. "Alright, what's the big secret here?"

"No secret, I just want to help out. And see my adorable grandsons." Jillian forced out her best smile, turning for the door. "Alright then, have fun… I left Evan in the tub, so I better go." She not so subtly stuck her thumb up at him, grinning like a Cheshire cat as she turned away.

"Weird." Greg spoke softly, ditching the laundry basket by the door. "I'll just fix Abel's bottle." He motioned through to the kitchen. He felt as though he was being watched every step of the way, only making him more curious about the older man's intentions. "Okay then, I'm ready."

Warrick smiled back, taking the lead towards the door. He got the passenger side door for him like a perfect gentleman, honouring his agreement by letting Greg pick the music.

"Hold up. Warrick… turn here. Turn. You missed our exit." Greg pointed to the street, turning his attention towards his driver. "Warrick, you said you knew the way. What the hell?"

"I do know the way, but we're not going that way." Warrick clicked off the music, acting even more suspicious.

"What?" Greg furrowed his brows together, only causing his eye more pain. "Why?"

"Just relax, Greggo. I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"Then where are you taking me?" He demanded to know, but the man wasn't giving anything up. He even threatened to jump up if he didn't stop the car. Warrick decided to lock the doors as if he was a child to keep him in, remaining silent for the rest of the journey.

Nearly an hour later, Warrick pulled up in the parking lot of the Bellagio. Greg watched the water of the Bellagio fountains souring high above them into the moonlit sky, before he turned to give the man beside him a curious look.

"Okay, so what are we doing here?" Greg's quest for answers didn't work earlier, but he was hoping the man was in a better mood now that they had reached their destination. "Warrick, would you please just tell me what's going on?"

"You'll see." The older man smiled, pulling up to the valet out front.

"I'd like to know now."

"Boy, you really don't like surprises, do you?" Warrick chuckled softly, unlocking the doors now that they were safe. He climbed out the car, handing his keys over to the young valet, warning him not to scratch his baby. "C'mon Greggo, your metaphorical carriage awaits." He led the confused young man inside, making his way to the front desk. "Hi. Reservation for Sanders, I believe you're holding a spare room key for him."

"What's the first name?" The woman asked, checking her computer in front of her.

"Gregory." Warrick ushered the younger man closer, grabbing the key card from the woman. "Thank you. Here you go, Greg." He placed it in his open palm.

Greg stared at the key card for a moment, before he lifted his gaze to meet Warrick's. "Remember what I said about the keeping an eye on us thing? Nick will kill you if he thinks you're making a move on me while he's gone."

"I'm not making a move, Greg." He couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Really?" Greg looked even more confused. "You've booked us a hotel room in my favourite hotel for one. How did you even know about this?"

"I'm not going up with you, Greg. That's a mystery you have to solve on your own." Warrick directed him towards the elevator, playfully tapping him on the shoulder. "Good luck."

Confused and slightly terrified, Greg made his way towards the elevators, stepping onto an empty one as it arrived. He glanced down at the key card in his hands to see where he was heading, before he hit number twenty nine on the panel.

He had no idea what was waiting for him at the end of this journey, but he was intrigued to find out.

Clutching the key card close to his chest, Greg hesitantly made his way down the hallway, stopping just outside of the allocated room. He didn't know if he should just use the key to let himself in or knock first. He had an idea of who was on the other side, but there was only one way to be sure.

"Hello?"

He used the key to let himself in, finding rose petals on the floor. He let the door close behind him, following the trail through to the bedroom. It was clearly the honeymoon suite, completely decked out with every romantic cliché in the books, but it brought a smile to his lips.

Rose petals, candles, heart shaped scatter cushions, candles shaped like roses floating in water, even rose petals scattered in the shape of a heart. It was romance central.

"Nick? Please say that's you." Greg spoke softly.

Before he could take another step into the room, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist from behind him. The action made him jump at first, but the strong scent of a certain Texan God immediately invaded his nostrils, making him feel safe and sound in his embrace.

"Thank, God." He sighed softly, leaning back into his arms. "You had me worried there for a second."

"Hi, baby." The Texan's voice rasped against his ear. He teased a kiss across his neck, clutching him a little tighter in his arms. "Miss me?"

"Like a heartbeat." Greg placed his hands over the top of Nick's on his waist, feeling as though everything was right in the world again. He finally had the man he loved within reaching distance. "So the cloak and dagger routine with Warrick, I'm guessing that was you? Did you seriously recruit Warrick to bring me along to a secret romantic rendezvous?"

"Yeah. Why did he give it away?"

"He wasn't exactly subtle." Greg took another look around the hotel room, spotting the dinner table out the corner of his eyes with a meal ready for two. "Your mother was worse."

"That's why I didn't tell her. She's terrible at keepin' surprises." Nick slid his hands into the front pockets of the younger man's jeans, nipping a playful kiss to his neck. "Mm… you smell so good." He buried his nose into his shoulder, wishing he had never left him behind. "So tell me, how have you been? How are the boys?"

"You mean since the last time you skyped us for three hours?" Greg chuckled softly, leaning back into his partner's firm chest. "Abel's gonna crawl any day now. He keeps putting things in his mouth though. I have to watch him like a hawk. We're gonna have to unpack and baby proof the crap out of the house. I swear he almost said Papa last night."

"Mm, I miss my baby." He clutched him a little tighter. "And Evan?"

"He's… okay." The younger man shrugged his shoulders together. "He misses you. Why didn't you come straight to the house to see the boys?"

"Because I had a promise to keep."

"Ah," Greg flinched, feeling his partner's hand travelling north beneath his t-shirt. "No, don't stop."

"If it hurts…"

"Don't stop." Greg held onto his hands, keeping them in place on his bruised chest. He arched himself back into the older man's embrace, closing his eyes as he listened to his partner's soft breaths. "It feels like forever since you last held me in your arms. Without the baby in the way, anyway." He giggled softly. "You never mentioned how much harder it would be for us to do stuff while you were pregnant."

"I didn't know. I didn't exactly show when I was pregnant with Evan." Nick reminded him, turning the younger man in his arms so he could look into his eyes. He gently touched his thumb to the scar on Greg's cheek, feeling his heart aching for him as he looked into his bruised eye. "I didn't expect to blow up like a balloon with Abel, but you were always there for me."

"Of course, you're everything to me."

"And you're still so beautiful." He delicately trailed his fingertip towards the younger man's jaw line, leaning forwards to steal a quick kiss from his lips. Just lips, no tongue. "C'mon, I've got you somethin'." Nick broke the kiss too soon, leading him through to the bedroom with an excited smile plastered across his lips.

"Uh… not that I'm not grateful for the secret romantic getaway you've planned here, but what's the occasion?" Greg curiously asked, finding a suit hanging up against the bathroom door. "Whoa…" He reached his fingers out for the sleeve of the suit jacket, even more curious about the occasion.

"Do I really need an excuse to treat my gorgeous boyfriend every once in a while?" He lifted the suit down, handing it over to the younger man. "I was hopin' you'd wear this. I don't plan on you bein' in it for very long. But I at least want to see how cute you look in it for a minute or so."

"You bought me a suit? Did I forget something?" He raised one eyebrow, trying to think what day it was.

"All will be revealed shortly." Nick kept his lips sealed. "Grubs up, I hope you're hungry."

"Starving." Greg watched his excited boyfriend hurrying over to the dinner table, lighting a few more candles, while he got himself dressed in the suit.

It felt so soft against his skin and the style fit his mob obsession perfectly.

He was in heaven.

"So, you managed to get an earlier flight back, booked yourself a honeymoon hotel suite, completely decked out with champagne, chocolate truffles, candles and red rose petals… even bought me dinner," Greg sat himself down in the empty seat opposite his partner, adoring the look of complete admiration in the older man's eyes. "There must be an occasion here."

"Do you know what day it is today?" Nick reached for his hand across the table for Greg's, grinning widely as he saw the adorable look of confusion in his eyes. "I guess you haven't been keepin' track. What with everythin' else goin' on, I don't blame you. Does the date December third mean anythin' to you?"

Greg thought about it a moment, before he felt a smile tugging at his lips. "Wow… that was a year ago already?" He grinned a little wider, looking round at the hotel room. "Wow, you really went all out."

"I made you a promise, didn't I? Speakin' of," The Texan climbed to his feet, hurrying through the bedroom. He dug something out from under the pillow, hiding it behind his back as he returned to Greg's side.

He couldn't stop smiling the whole time, kneeling himself down on one knee in his equally smart black suit and tie. The tie was a deep maroon colour, over a silky black shirt. He even had a fancy maroon pocket square, completing the perfect gentleman look.

"I was gonna wait until after to do this, but I don't think I can wait that long." He even sounded jittery he was so excited. "Greg… you've always been the one. And I shoulda done this a long time ago… but we don't look back anymore." He remembered the pact they made after their New Year's kiss. "Marry me, gorgeous."

Sliding off the chair onto his knees, Greg clasped his hands around Nick's, examining the ring in its velvety maroon box for a moment. There was no diamond or ridiculously sized jewel, thankfully. But it was silver; maybe even titanium with some unusual markings on the inside.

"Hmm," He made a soft humming noise, lifting his gaze to meet Nick's. "Aren't you supposed to pose it as a question?"

"Not if I already know your answer." Nick held the box steady in his shaky hand, watching the younger man plucking it out to get a closer look. "At least, I thought I knew your answer." He spoke softly, feeling his nerves bubbling to surface as Greg kept him waiting.

"One four three." Greg read the markings engraved on the inside, giving the man in front of him a grin. He replaced it to the box, sitting back on his heels. "I have to ask you something first."

"Anythin'."

Pursing his lips together, Greg kept his eyes locked on Nick's, making him wait just a few minutes longer, until he finally asked, "Will you marry me?"

"You drive me crazy, G." He chuckled softly; relieved the question wasn't something else. "Of course I'll marry you, but you can't steal my thunder. This was _my_ proposal." Nick closed the gap between them, bringing their mouths together for the kiss he had been craving all week.

It almost felt like their first kiss again, only there was no awkwardness in their movements and they knew that they had already landed another date, for the rest of their lives together. For the first time in his life, Nick felt as though he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

At long last, he was Nicholas Parker Stokes.

 **The End**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **And there you have it 'Chasing Secrets' requested by BlaineandKurt. I'll post the prompt now that the story is complete, as it contained spoilers for the story.**

 **Prompt:** _I'm just looking for a fic where Nick admits on tape (when he's buried alive) that he misses Greg as they used to date prior to season 1. Nick also got pregnant during that time (mpreg), and is raising their child on his own. So the child would be 6-7 years old. When Greg left Nick didn't know he was pregnant, and Nick has kept his child a secret. Nicks mum left Nicks dad when Nick got pregnant because his dad wasn't accepting, and has lived with Nick and helped raised Nick's son. So on the tape Nick speaks about his 'secret child' and how he wants to Greg to know his son. It sounds complicated I'm sorry, feel free to toy around with this idea if you ever get time. I want a lengthy story that leads on from after he's been saved. **Requested by BlaineandKurt.**_

 **Thanks so much 'Evan' aka BlaineandKurt for your request. I had a lot of fun writing this story. Sorry there won't be a sequel to this one. I love writing M-Pregs but I feel a bit stuck as far as sequels to them are concerned. Thank you so much to all my readers for reading, favouriting and following this story...** CamaroQueen9285, Curious-Brunette13, GrandMoffAmbrius, InsaneMembrane, JC Lodge, Trina Tiffany, gizmo1011, katzxrule, , mizncis, nikkirain, potterfan161, sam zmethwick, witchmagic27, Marymel, Rori Potter, celiayin, janet1982, , knausebart, kymickeyfan717, monica76meza69, Buffyxenaman, basketcase1880, Alisa, Bianca and last but not least Evan! And all my anonymous readers who like to kick back with some Nick/Greg slash. **Your support and reviews mean a lot to me.** **Please feel free to let me know what you thought or Private Message me with your own story requests. I've got a lot of Nick/Greg One-Shots planned at the moment, so I have some spare time to get into a big story again.**

 **Thank you!**

 **~ Holly**


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